DISCLAIMER: I do not own Gilmore Girls.
AUTHOR: Thanks for all the comments on last chapter. Unfortunately, I haven't had time to thank you all personally - so much to do, so little time... I say my thanks by releasing the last four chapters on this fanfiction. Hope you'll enjoy!
Chapter 10: "What about Rory?"
Jess poured Mrs Gilmore a cup of coffee while elegantly balancing Clara on his hip at the same time. After getting aquainted with Mrs Gilmore for few minutes, Clara had insisted to be returned to her father.
She was hungry and she knew by now food was only going to come if she harassed her father by whimpering like a wounded dog. Jess was therefore holding a watchful eye on the feeding bottle heating on the stove as he moved around the kitchen to get breakfast ready.
Mrs Gilmore watched his every move. Since Clara had been taken away from her, she had been scrutinizing him from top to bottom, which had Jess feeling very uncomfortable and self-aware. He couldn't help feeling judged.
"I must say, fatherhood becomes you very well, Mr Mariano," Emily said as Jess put down the coffee pot on the table.
"Thank you," he replied politely, although somewhat surprised. He had not been expecting this kind of praise from a woman like Mrs Gilmore. "Please, call me Jess. Mr Mariano sound so… grown up!"
Mrs Gilmore nodded.
"Alright, Jess it is."
Jess returned to the stove to check up on the status of the feeding bottle without permission to call Mrs Gilmore by her first name. Not that he had expected it to. Mrs Gilmore was not like the people he usually hung around with in Philadelphia, who thought titles and formalities belonged to the past.
"I didn't know you were back in Stars Hallow… Jess."
It wasn't a question, but Jess felt obliged to answer it anyway.
"I haven't been here long. I came here Friday night. I felt it was about time I came by and paid a visit to Uncle Luke."
"The diner owner, right?"
Jess nodded and checked the temperature on the bottle. Deciding it was warm enough, but not too hot, he turned off the stove and picked up the bottle from the skillet. After shaking the water dripplets of it, he sat down opposite Mrs Gilmore at the table. Clara took a sturdy grip around the bottle with both hands and started eating before Jess had adjusted her properly in his lap.
The silence and Mrs Girlmore's prying eyes made him uncomfortable and he wished that Lorelai would hurry to come down stairs. What was taking her so long anyway? To pass time, he started to talk.
"I have to admit, I'm not settled into this lifestyle yet. I never thought a baby could be so much work. There is always something she needs of me."
Mrs Gilmore smiled.
"Parenting is one of the hardest jobs there is, but also the most rewarding. It takes time to get used to it."
"I suppose being forced to do it on your own isn't making it easier." Jess, reply sounded more gloomy than he had intended it to. He really needed to stop being this emotional. Like ASAP!
"Lorelai told me Clara's mother died of cancer. My condolences."
"Thank you." Jess couldn't bring himself to meet Mrs Gilmore's gaze. Instead he kept his focus on Clara who was already halfway through the bottle's content.
"It must have been difficult for you," Mrs Gilmore said a while later.
"It is still," Jess confessed. "There are days when I still can't believe she's gone. What saddens me the most is that Clara will never know her mother. I at least got to spend some time with Stella before she died."
Mrs Gilmore could sympathize with that.
"I was thirty eight when I lost my mother," she told him. "I cried for a week, and I still cry at times when I visit her grave. Losing one's mother is never easy, but to not even have the slightest memory of her… I would never have endured it."
Jess thought of Liz. Would he cry if she died? Would he miss her? He hoped a part of him would, but he wasn't sure. There was so much bad blood between them.
Across the table, Mrs Gilmore seemed to be lost in thoughts too. When Jess peered at her, she didn't notice it. Something in her eyes told him she was thinking of Lorelai.
"She would cry, you know."
Mrs Gilmore looked up.
"Who would do what?"
"Lorelai, if you died. She would cry."
"Of relief, I am sure." Mrs Gilmore rolled her eyes.
"No." Jess adjusted Clara who in her eager to get fed was close to sliding of his lap. "If you died Lorelai grieve you."
Mrs Gilmore didn't look convinced so Jess continued.
"I don't mean to stick my nose somewhere it isn't wanted, but I heard your argument before. You and Lorelai argue a lot, don't you?"
The look on Mrs Gilmore's face was the only reply he needed.
"It's a shame, I think. I wish I had a better relationship with my mother. Do you know what she did for my seventh birthday? My mother, I mean. Not Lorelai."
"No."
"She forgot about it. And my tenth too. The eleventh I don't remember, but from the day I turned twelve I spent all my birthdays at the library. It didn't seem like much point sticking around waiting for something that wouldn't happen, if you know what I mean."
Mrs Gilmore didn't know.
"She forgot about your birthday?"
Jess nodded.
"Why?"
"That's the way my mom is, I guess. Maybe she had a new boyfriend or something. Whenever she meets someone new she tends to get her head stuck up in the clouds and forget about everything else. She doesn't know about Clara yet."
He wasn't sure what shocked Mrs Gilmore the most, the fact that a women could forget about her son's birthday or that he hadn't told his mother about him having a daughter. The look on her face read dismay.
"Lorelai is a great woman though. I wish I had her for a mom. Rory is lucky." He let the words sink in before he continued. "When Luke called her last night to ask if we could stay at the Inn, I was sure she was going to say no. I was a complete jerk to her and Rory when I lived here so I wouldn't have blamed her if she wanted nothing to do with me, but she took me in. In her own home. And she was a great support to me when Clara wasn't doing so well."
"Mr Mariano… Jess!" Mrs Gilmore interrupted him. "Why are you telling me this?"
Jess looked up and saw her directly in the eyes.
"Because I wanted to let you know what a great person your daughter is. It seems to me that you two forget the good parts sometimes because you are so caught up with the bad. I just wanted to remind you of Lorelai's good sides."
Mrs Gilmore was silent for a long time. Clara finished her breakfast and Jess picked her up in his arms again to burp her. It wasn't difficult. If there was one part of this parenting thing he had nailed it was burping his daughter. She would do great playing beer-pong with the lads some day!
When Mrs Gilmore eventually spoke it was with a softer voice than Jess had expected.
"Thank you."
Jess, who had his back at the table, turned. Mrs Gilmore looked up at him.
"I needed to hear that."
Jess smiled.
"You're welcome."
Clara cooed and held out her tiny hands towards Mrs Gilmore. Now that she was fed she was ready to explore again. Jess handed her over and sat down at the table again. What was taking Lorelai so long?
"I'm curious, Jess," Mrs Gilmore said some time later. "How do you manage being a single father? How do you support yourself?"
Finally a subject that didn't risk starting world war III!
"I work at a small publishing house in Philadelphia called Truncheon. It's me and a couple of friends running it."
"Is it good business?"
"Very good. We'll have a big release party for one of our authors next month." Jess, who suddenly realized what Mrs Gilmore really was asking, added: "But I couldn't have done it without Stella's sister. She takes care of Clara while I'm at work. She has a kid of her own whom she stays home with so she insisted upon to take on Clara as well. Clara is the only relative Andrea has left now that Stella is dead. And I'm grateful she has agreed to help me. I don't know how I would have managed otherwise, probably come back here and live with Luke."
"I see." Mrs Gilmore pried curiously at him. "And Rory?"
Jess blinked. Confused over the sudden change of subject.
"What about Rory?"
"How does Rory fit into your new life?"
Jess was at loss. "I'm not sure I understand what you mean, Mrs Gilmore?"
"You may have had your way with Lorelai, but you don't fool me, young man." Mrs Gilmore suddenly had him strained to the chair with her eyes. "I know you still have feelings for Rory. I can see it in your eyes."
Jess fel as if someone had squeezed the air out of his lungs. Where did this come from?
"I haven't seen Rory in two years…" Jess began, but was interrupted.
"Are you still in love with her? Is that why you came back to Stars Hollow? To persuade her to come with you to Philadelphia?"
Thankfully, Jess never had to answer those questions. Lorelai came downstairs the very same moment, putting an abrupt end to the conversation.
"Oh, coffee!" the younger Gilmore woman exclaimed and grabbed the coffee pot to pour herself a cup. The pleased look on her face when she took the first sip told them how oblivious she was to the tension in the room…
As blunt as Mrs Gilmore's questions were, they made Jess think. What did he really feel for Rory and was he ready to let another woman into his life again? Looking at Clara, he corrected himself - their lives.
