A/N: Okay, wow. I am so sorry to have abandoned you guys for so long. To explain the huge delay of this chapter, I have been extremely ill the last month in a half. I haven't been doing anything on the computer at all, so if I am normally a person who reviews all of your fics and I haven't been lately, I am so sorry. I will hopefully get to everyone's stories eventually, I have them all saved on my e-mail.

Without further adieu, here is the next chappie!


Chapter Twenty-Three: A Vow Renewed


James walked slowly across the room to the place where Lily had left her broken necklace. He bent down and pulled out his wand, gently whispering a spell.


Moments later, he walked downstairs, hoping that Lily hadn't left, praying that he still had some small chance to make things right between them.

"Mate, is Lily alright?" Remus asked as his friend appeared. "I just saw her come dashing downstairs and then she flooed home. You haven't had a row?"

James nodded curtly.

"What happened?" Remus pressed gently. "What did she say? I mean- James what?" he broke off as his friend abruptly left the room, darting into the kitchen.

"Mr. Potter," Dumbledore said pleasantly, not in the least bit surprised to see his former Head Boy enter the room, "is there something you would like to speak with me about?"

"Did Lily come through here?" James asked quickly, his mind completely focused on her.

"She did. Ms. Evans has asked to become a part of the Order of the Phoenix. Is there a problem, Mr. Potter?"

"No sir." James turned on his heel and walked out of the kitchen, returning to a bewildered Remus, who was then speaking to Sirius.

"It was odd. I haven't a clue what's happened between them."

"I dunno," Sirius replied. "I went in Lily's room earlier, and I got the feeling there was something going on I didn't wan to be a part of. I hope he hasn't been too much of a prat,"

"Yeah, I think that I have actually," James said from the doorway.

"James what is going on? I didn't think there was much that would make Lily leave the house in your Mum's nightclothes."

"We've broken our engagement," James said numbly.

"What!" Sirius all but shouted at the same time as Remus calmly asked, "Why?"

"We've broken our engagement," James repeated. "Because I am a bloody arse and an idiot."

"What happened, Prongs?" Sirius asked, his voice unusually calm and gentle.

"I was thinking all night. Of course, now I see it didn't make any sense at all. The best way to protect her would be to be near her, wouldn't it? I mean, not that I see it clearly, of course it's too late, and I haven't a single clue as to what to do now that I've royally messed everything up, and I think that it might really be over," James explained himself.

"Did you catch that?" Sirius muttered to Remus as James began to pace around the room, running his hands repeatedly through his hair.

"Not a word," Remus replied. "James, why don't you sit down and try to explain. Start at the beginning."


"'Bella! Are you at home? I've used your fire again, and I've simply got to talk to you!" Lily dashed through her friend's house.

"Lily? What in Merlin's name are you wearing?" Arabella asked as she came down the stairs, pulling on her dressing gown.

Lily looked down at herself and realized that she was still wearing Emily's pajamas and dressing gown. "I had to borrow some night things from James' mother," she explained, her voice now dropped to a whisper. "'Bella can I have a cup of tea? I really need to talk to you."

Arabella nodded and lead her friends into the kitchen. Obviously, something terrible had happened at her fiancée's, and obviously, the girl needed comforting and someone to talk to, and obviously she wasn't going to get that at home. So, obviously, it was up to Arabella to give her someone to talk to and several large mugs of tea.


"Thank you for the tea, Arabella, and the coat," Lily called, clutching the borrowed woolen jacket around her. She was now going to have to go home and face her sister. After their little argument the previous evening, it wasn't at all something she was looking forward to.

"Petunia, I'm back!" Lily called as she entered the house.

"What are you doing here? I thought you were staying with that boy. That friend of yours that you think wants to marry you," Petunia said harshly as she walked out of her spotless kitchen, wiping her hands on her apron.

Lily felt her eyes brimming with tears again at her sister's words and run up the stairs to her bedroom. She slammed the door behind her and collapsed onto her bed, sobbing uncontrollably. She reached for her heart-shaped necklace, desperate for the comfort it normally gave her, before she remembered.

Her necklace, the prized gem that James had designed himself and had made for her, was smashed into a thousand pieces and ground into the floor of the spare bedroom. Lily grabbed her pillow and buried her face in it, sobbing again.

She didn't hear her sister scream as a strange man entered the home unannounced. She didn't hear the gentle knock at her door, or the turning of the squeaky doorknob.

The next thing Lily knew, two strong warm arms were being wrapped around her, pulling her into their comfort, which she accepted willingly and unwittingly, not realizing that they belonged to the very source of her distress.

"Shush, it's alright. I'm here now. It's going to be alright," James whispered gently into her ear. This, apparently was a mistake, for it fully alerted Lily to his presence.

She sat up quickly, throwing his comforting arms away from herself, then stood.

"You," she spat at him, shaking with fury. "How dare you come here and try to comfort me like that? Like nothing happened between us this morning? Like it was all just some stupid little spat or misunderstanding? What the bloody hell is wrong with you?"

"Lily, please, talk to me. Let me explain what I was thinking, and we can talk and work this whole thing out. Please, love." James said. He knew Lily's temper. He knew he was in deep trouble.

"Talk? Talk! I tried to talk, James. I wanted to talk and to explain and all of that! You didn't want to listen! It takes work for a relationship to work, James. It takes work and communication and all of that! I am willing to do it, but you clearly aren't. You aren't mature enough to-"

"Stop it," James interrupted, furiously.

"No, I'm not fin-"

"Yeah you are finished, Lily. Now you need to listen to me for a minute. Don't act like this is completely my fault. You think that I don't communicate well? Turn the mirror around and look into it. You think I don't hear you cry yourself to sleep every night? You think that I don't worry and wonder and wait for you to open up to me and tell me what's wrong? You think that I don't wish you would talk to me for just one damned minute about something that's important to you? I know that something is wrong, and I know that it's been wrong for a long time.

"You changed in second year. After your parents died, you were like a completely different person. We were friends before that, don't you remember? Then you pushed me and everyone else away for so long. Last year, you finally let me into your life, and I am so in love with you that I can't stand it anymore. I know that something is hurting you all the time. Every day. You just keep it bottled up. You never talk to me or to Alice or to anyone! You don't communicate."

James paused, breathing deeply.

"I lost my father yesterday, and it's tearing me apart inside. I don't even know what to do or what to feel. I talk to you and you're so understanding and kind and considerate, but I know that you're holding something back from me. I don't know what it is. I know it has something to do with your parents death. I know that there's got to be something that bothers you that you haven't told me. I don't think that you've told anyone. I know that you need help, and I don't know what to do for you anymore. I am trying so hard."

James put his face in his hands; several tears spilled out of his eyes. "I understand it you can't just tell me now on the spot. I know that whatever is hurting you is something that you've kept bottled up for a long time. You keep telling me not to do what you did, and trust me, I am trying.

"I made a mistake this morning. I am confused and scared, and I don't know what I am supposed to do anymore. All I know is that right now, I can't lose you. It would kill me. I didn't think about that before.

"Now, I am asking you- damn it, I'm begging you- not to make me keep paying for this mistake. I can't get through this-any of it- not without you."

Lily and James both had tears streaming down their faces by the end of his speech.

"Of course I'll take you back, you bloody idiot," Lily said after several moments of silence.

James let out a little chuckle of relief. He opened his arms and Lily fell into them.

"And you're right about everything. I know I've been distant about things, but now isn't the right time to talk about my problems. Okay?"

"Yeah," James agreed softly, inhaling her comforting scent. "I'm so sorry, love."

"It's okay. Or it will be. But there's one more thing. I want to be in the Order of the Phoenix. I've already told Dumbledore that I would be, and I am not taking that promise back. I'm sorry that it hurts you, and I know that you're scared, but all of your reasons that I shouldn't be in the Order are exactly the reasons that I want to be. I have to be. Please tell me that you understand that."

"I do. I really do," James said, still crushing her against him. "So, our engagement is still on?"

Lily nodded. James pulled away slightly and reached into his pocket, pulling out the beautiful heart-shaped necklace that he had given her.

"I'll ask again to make it official," he said softly. "Lily Evans, will you marry me?"

"Of course I will," Lily said with a soft laugh, tears having rushed to her eyes the instant she saw her beloved necklace. She turned it around and allowed James to fasten it around her neck, where it belonged.

"I love you," James whispered in her ear as he brushed her radiant red hair aside.

"I love you, too," Lily replied, cherishing the words she had feared she would never speak again. When she turned to face him again, James caught her in a soft kiss, full of promise and passion. Lily returned the kiss with just as much passion and love.

"We need to go back to your house. Can you give me a minute to pack some things?"

"Yeah, of course."


A/N: Alright, I've got to leave it there for now, because I wanted to get this posted! Again, I am so sorry for the long long wait on this chapter.

Thanks so much to all of my reviewers. I'm sorry I can't do a review response, considering they aren't allowed any longer. If you send a signed review, I promise I will write back, though. I'll try to e-mail those of you who give your address on anonymous reviews, but I can't make any promises on that. Again thanks, I love you guys!

Please please review! I don't care if you just say "This was a stupid story. I hate it." or (hopefully) "Cute story. I liked it!" PLEASE REVIEW!

Love from

Lyny Angell