DATE: DECEMBER 17, 1993

HYDE MEDICAL CENTER, NEW YORK

I don't like it here.

Everything is so white, I can hear people screaming, people asking for help because some man is losing too much blood and everything smells like a band-aid. I wrap my arms around myself on top of the medical table, only wearing one of those medical gowns that open in the back. It's cold here too.

I can hear my mom and dad talking to one of the doctors, Dr. Ellis Clemens.

"She's just been acting so violent lately. You've seen the bruises on her arms and the scratches. I don't understand why she's resulting to self harm." My mother puts on her best act.

I grit my teeth. Why was she doing that, fake crying? Why can't she just produce real tears like normal parents? Of course if they were normal parents we wouldn't be here, and I would have bruises on my inner thighs.

"I don't know, maybe she needs psychiatric help. I can fund her trip to Ellisville in Texas if you wish."

"Oh well we can't do that, have her so far away." My father says.

"Well of course you can move with her. The houses near there are relatively cheap if money is an issue. I studied down there near the center."

"We just can't do that. Isn't there some way we can treat her at home?"

No! please, tell them no. call the cops, call social services! Do something, you've seen the bruises doctor. You make your best judgment. God someone help me!

"Well I guess there are a few exercises you can practice at home…"

DATE: JUNE 26, 2007

LOCATION:

TEST VILLAGE, NEW MEXICO

My eyelids flutter open painfully.

The room…its Lizards. Why does it hurt when I breathe? Why does it feel like I have a ton of bricks on my chest? I roll my head to my left, seeing Lizard sitting in a chair, his eyes open and out the window. His fingers continually strum on the arm rests; he's aggravated, or impatient.

"Li-Lizard," I croak out.

It hurts to speak, if that's what you want to call the noise I just made. It's barely a whisper, but somehow Lizard hears it and he moves to my side, looking relieved but also angry at something. I want to know, but I don't think I could possibly ask that question with this overwhelming sense of relief I get from looking into his blue eyes.

"I thought you was dead," he whispers, kissing me.

I groan into the kiss, wanting to take it further, but the memory of what happened weighs on me. When he pulls away I whimper on the inside. "What happened?" I croak.

"You was shot."

My throat closes up on me. Shot? Was that why it hurt so much to move? Or was that because I had probably been sitting here for awhile? I want to see my wound, I wanna know if I'm gonna be ok. I guess I would be dead already if I wasn't gonna make it. I wonder if they'd eat me.

"Ya need ta sit up," Lizard mumbles, sliding one arm under me.

I give a small cry as he lift me, but don't stop him. This needs to be done. I need to work through this pain if I'm ever gonna get up again. I can see the pants I'm wearing are soaked in blood, so that means the bed is too. I frown and reach a shaky hand to the place I was shot. It's wrapped cleanly, but there's blood on some of the seams. I let my hand fall and look up to Lizard, catching his eyes on my stomach.

"Hey now, battle wounds are a given," I whisper hoarsely.

He looks into my eyes, not smiling or anything, I don't even see that glimmer of ever present humor in his eyes. He shakes his head and removes his arm, letting my body reflexively catch itself. I look around the room again, at the open door. Venus and Mercury are playing with old cars in the hallway and I can hear Big Mama talking downstairs to someone about cooking. She had to be talking to Ruby.

"Can I walk?"

Lizard shakes his head, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Not right now. Ya need ta eat somethin'."

I smiled at his caring side and watched him get up and leave. He looked so tired, haggard. Had he really worried over me that much?

"Hi Lizard!" an overly chipper voice called.

I tensed up. What the fuck happened while I was asleep?

"Get th' fuck out ma way." I heard him growl in obvious disgust.

I loosened up. Ok, so nothing happened, just and overly happy girl is living in the house now. "Lizard!" I called out the best I could, giving out a small squeak of pain when my throat splintered in pain.

"Wha'?!"

"I wanna see the girl!" I repeated the same pain process.

I heard footsteps thump against the floor boards as someone ran, obviously not Lizard because he wouldn't make a damn noise. It was the girl, the one I saved, still in her pretty purple dress but with wet hair. Her green eyes ran over me, some strange emotion there I couldn't figure out. Respect? Something like that.

"Hi," I smiled at her.

She looked down shyly; I watched Goggle and Lizard shuffle behind her, a bowl in Lizards hands as he glared the girl down. I sighed at them.

"Hi, I'm Erica."

"Well, Erica could you come in here please? Shut the door too since SOME people don't know what privacy is." I sent a glare at Lizard and Goggle.

Poor Goggle shied away, while Lizard gave me an exasperated look, but did nothing except accept the door slamming in his face. Erica shuffled over to the chair beside the bed and I wiggled back to lean against the headrest, sighing in relief for my sore back.

"You were shot…"

I smiled at her. "Yeah, Lizard and I were driving home when these guys jumped us. Got me real good, hurts like a bitch."

I refrained from touching the wrappings while Erica stared at me, circling her thumbs. "Why'd you save me?"

I blinked real slow like. "Um well…because it just seemed like the right thing to do."

"But you killed that guy."

"Same thing applies there. Those were despicable men, they deserved to die. Or suffer, but we couldn't torture them in front of you. That'd just be rude."

She stared at me, worry in her green eyes. Did she think I was crazy? Maybe she was right. I was feeling…I don't know…loose around the edges or something like that? It was the only thing I could think of to describe the way I felt. it was like I was something other than that frail little girl I was before I had found myself here. I was no longer the emotional mess I was, somehow that side of me was controlled here. Guess all the other forms of crazy around me balance my own out.

"Is it true I have to stay here forever? I can never talk to my family again?"

I gave Erica a sad smile. "I'm afraid so."

"How did you get here?" she placed her hands on her perfect pale knees.

I sighed. "Um…well I was going to Huntington Beach in California to get some mental help I needed. I was running from the law so I couldn't exactly fly, so driving seemed like the right thing to do. Well long story short: I wrecked, been here for about a month maybe and I'm Lizards mate. The end."

Erica stared at me, fear and all that in her eyes. It was strange to see in those pretty eyes and I felt bad for the look she gave me for some reason. She didn't trust me, she didn't trust anyone here. she was scared of us.

"Why are you with that thing?"

I wanted to growl at her for some reason. Was that part of being a mate, being defensive about each other? "I love Lizard, that's why."

"But Dizzy you're so pretty and he's…" she looked down. "I'm sorry it's none of my business."

I stared at her, my anger dwindling fast. "Pretty?"

She looked up at me. "Well yeah, you're really pretty. So what? You mean you didn't know you were pretty."

"Well I would think it's a bit conceited, but no I don't think I'm that pretty."

Her eyes grew wide, but she seemed to control herself a bit. "Oh, well you are. Now I feel awkward for some reason."

I chuckled and then sighed when I heard Lizard and Goggle outside the door arguing. Were they always like this? Couldn't they just be nice to each other?

"Lizard, come on in." I called out. Lizard and Goggle slid in, looking sheepish for the first time in their lives probably. "What did you two do?" I asked cautiously.

Lizard turned around, facing the corner while Goggle looked up sheepishly. "I saw ya boob."

My face went blank, my eyes sliding to Lizard. He had his head down in the corner, his shoulder shaking. He thought this was funny? I out on the best smile I could muster that succeeded in creeping Erica out enough to move to Goggle, who was just as freaked out.

"Oh Lizard darling~!" I said in a sickeningly sweet voice.

His shoulders tensed up, his head turning to me with wide eyes. "Wh-Wha'?"

"Why don't you come over here dear?"

He hesitated, looking to Goggle for support, who knew better and shook his head no. Lizard sighed, actually scared, and moved over to stand beside me. he didn't meet my eyes, his cheeks tinted with a blush I would have thought was cute at any other moment.

But no, right now, in this moment, I just elbowed him as hard as I could in the balls.

"That's what you get for laughing!"


now that all the updating is done i hope everything is clear and i tried my best to keep up with the dates. Review please. Thank you.