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The Breakup
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As the demon smashed tree after tree, Miroku snorted as he turned to Sango and gave her an amused, sheepish grin, "Seems I was worried about the wrong Inuyasha."
"Too soon, Miroku. Too fucking soon," the demon growled as he slashed his claws against a stubborn tree, "I mean, is that what I'm normally like? Fuck, I hate me and I've only just met myself."
Miroku snorted, "We all thought the…um…well, how do I put this? I guess, we always assumed your more, uh, immature and rude behavior was from your demon side but apparently we were wrong on that front."
"I think your demon side was more prevelant than you thought," Sango offered, "Maybe even more than your hanyou self was aware."
"Maybe," Inuyasha scowled, "but that selfish, greedy asshole is still part of me. All he seems to care about is himself and what's in it for him! I don't understand it."
"Well, if I felt I had no place to belong and suddenly the world was at my fingertips I'd be excited as well," Miroku sighed sagely as he rubbed his chin and Sango nodded in agreement, "Give him some time. Once the, uh, excitement wears off, I'm sure he isn't, um..."
"A punk ass bitch?" the demon huffed exasperatedly as he landed a solid kick into the nearest tree making it crash to the ground. Inuyasha paused for a moment and sighed heavily as he leaned against the mutilated tree, "He's right about one thing though. He can…he can give Kagome a normal life that I just can't. I get why he's excited but abandoning you guys, abandoning the pack…that I just don't understand."
"It seems like neither of you care for Kikyo very much," Sango noted wearily, "We always assumed it was your human heart that made you continue to chase after her but she's just another member of the pack. I can't imagine a scenario where this ends well for either of you. She's going to be furious."
"Well, all I know is that she's pack and I…I won't abandon pack," the demon answered softly, "She can be mad all she wants. Honestly, I don't like her - the undead her anyway - but I feel real protective of her at the same time. I…I can't let her get herself killed again."
"You talk about pack a lot," Miroku observed, "What do that entail exactly?"
"Well…so Kagome and I are alphas. The leaders of the pack," the demon began nervously as a blush bloomed under jagged purple when Sango gave him a knowing smirk, "Um, so you, uh, probably already know but alpha males and alpha females are…um…normally mated but…well…that, that isn't always the case…obviously."
Miroku snorted as he gave Inuyasha a lecherous grin, "So you haven't consummated your relationship with the Lady Kagome? I could most certainly give you some…"
"Shut your fucking mouth." Inuaysha quipped back before he sighed and cast Sango a nervous glance, "Then there's beta. Beta is my second in command – after ya know, Kagome. I know you're the better fighter Sango but beta's normally a male position so I've always considered Miroku my beta but… after your fucking stunt the other day, Miroku, Sango's now beta. So Miroku, Shippo, Kilala and everyone else are omegas. A general pack member, I guess. And, um, Kikyo…is more of an independent who I've offered my protection to."
"So…" Miroku began, a mischievous grin on his face, "The rank goes Kagome, then you, then Sango and then myself, Shippo, Kilala."
"So you get it," Inuyasha sighed in relief, before blushing when he realized to what he had agreed, "Hey! Wait a minute, Kagome and I are both Alpha. We're, uh, we're partners."
"You just said that the Alpha female has the right to punish the Alpha male. Wouldn't that put her above you?" Sango teased lightly.
"No! I mean, we're, um…just we're equal. We both make decisions," Inuyasha mumbled miserably before turning and thrusting his claws into the tree, "I just…my human half doesn't…he just… I don't understand. I don't get it."
"I mean, you are a teenager," Sango snorted, "Maybe your human side didn't, um, develop as much or something as your demon side or maybe demons aren't…
"Whiny little bitches?" Inuyasha snarled as he slammed his fist down into the tree bark and huffed when it fell back onto the forest floor, "Guess I didn't know him so well after all. Little shit doesn't know when to shut up or back down and what was with that attitude?"
"Well, that doesn't sound too far off from your usual self," Miroku snorted, "Maybe you balance each other out when you're together."
"Who the fuck knows?" Inuyasha growled before a heartbroken look flashed over his face for half a second, "But…but he was so excited to be human…and he's right. He could give Kagome a normal life. He can have a normal life. And…and I've got what I wanted, I'm…I'm free…maybe we should just leave it at…"
"No!" Sango gasped before she slapped her hand across her mouth. Clearing her throat, she swallowed and began again, "I mean, you're both still our friend but you both need to come back together."
The demon nodded solemnly, his frustration seemingly forgotten at the realization that between the two of them, Kagome would never pick him.
XXXXX
"You have to change back to the way you were," Kagome sighed exasperatedly for the umpteenth time, "You can't stay like this."
"Don't see why not," the human pouted before he sighed and ran his hand over his face, "I mean, don't you want me this way? I mean, we can be together if I'm like this."
"Don't get me wrong, I am flattered that...um...you've admitted you like me" Kagome grimaced as she groaned and buried her face in her hands, clearly questioning her own sanity as she took a deep breath and continued, "But I liked you the way you were, as a half-demon. It's not that I don't like you this way...it's just... this isn't..."
"Well, I didn't like me the way I was. I didn't like that I had to fight all the time, that I had to hide when I was like this, that I had to hear all the fucking awful things people called me under their breath. That's all I've ever done. Hell, that's all I've ever known," the human sighed miserably as he gave Kagome an imploring look - the pain and desperation in his chocolate eyes making Kagome gasp, "Everyone wanted to kill me for one reason or another. Everyone was afraid of me. Do you blame me for wanting to be normal?"
Kagome sighed dejectedly and gave the human a sympathetic smile. Honestly, she could see where he was coming from but she couldn't help the overwhelming feeling of dread washing over her. There was no way this spell came without consequences of some kind - Kikyo taking the human version away aside.
"Kikyo is going to come for you," Kagome stated simply, "She thinks your human side is the one who cares for her."
"Well, she's going to find out the hard way I guess," Inuyasha sighed and rolled his eyes as he huffed in frustration, "I don't hate her. I do still care I guess but I just...Okay, so if you broke up with someone and it ended badly, really badly would you want to be with that person?"
Kagome reluctantly shook her head.
"Okay, what if you found out that it was all a misunderstanding and you could fix it? Would you try?" Inuyasha pushed forward, giving her another imploring look.
"I guess..." Kagome sighed, having a feeling she knew where this was going.
"Okay, so what if you tried and instead of forgiving you for the misunderstanding, that person kept trying to kill you or your friends because they wouldn't let shit go?" Inuyasha huffed exasperatedly as he gestured idly at nothing in particular. Kagome rolled her eyes as the things everyone had been saying or thinking for years were thrown back at her - apparently humans pretty much had one way of looking at this situation.
"What if they blamed you for shit that wasn't your fault? What if there was someone else who actually liked you the way you were? Would you chase after the one who hated you? What if they..."
"Alright, I get it. I get it. It makes sense why you feel that way but..." Kagome groaned as she mentally kicked herself - why was she bringing up Kikyo again? - " it doesn't change the fact that you cared about her, loved her even in your hanyou form and that...that she loves you."
"Oh please, she doesn't love me. She loves the idea of me. And I can't explain it, it almost feels like those thoughts and feelings aren't...mine," Inuyasha explained in a frustrated tone as he ran his fingers through his ebony locks, "I feel like a new person, like a different person even. I feel...free."
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A few hours and dozens of trees later, the demon turned to head back to camp. At first, it began as a little lightheadedness which he attributed to clearing out the forest and working out his rage. Then it hit him. A strong wave of nausea suddenly swept over him as he staggered back and clutched at his chest, his face turning a nasty shade of green.
"Inuyasha?" Sango asked hesitantly, pausing in the treeline, "Are you..."
"I'm fine," the demon croaked even as he swayed dangerously and tried to bite back the bile growing in his throat, "Ain't nothing...wrong..."
"MIROKU CATCH HIM!" Sango screamed as the demon's eyes rolled back and he plummeted to the ground.
"What just happened?!" Miroku groaned as he lowered the demon gently onto the ground.
"We've put off seeing Kaede too long," Sango whispered anxiously, "We should go. Now."
