Daenerys stood in the very back of the small club, her usually so confident attitude gone for nervous glances right and left and fumbling with her car keys. You shouldn't be here, Dany. How dare you playing with fate like this? What if someone sees you?! She was a nervous wreck to say the least but she had to see him even if it was secretly or especially then. She was too much of a coward to face him anyway.

Dany didn't even have to imagine how much she had hurt him, Robb and Missandei constantly reminded her. So much so that she barely kept in contact with them either. She knew that what she did was unforgiveable and now she was living with the consequences but why won't they give her a fucking break? Well because Jon is not granted a break from missing her either, Missandei had reminded her. As if she did not know that already, didn't know exactly how he was feeling because it wasn't any different for her. Why was everyone expecting her to be fine with all of this?! It hurt like hell every single day she couldn't see him, every time she gets out her mobile to dial his number and tell him about her day but has to restrain herself from calling, every god damn time she hears that awful Adele song on the radio. She was a mess but she had to keep going because there was no turning back. What did they expect her to do? Come back and apologise? Leave behind her career and new friends to move back to where she grew up, where she always felt small and trapped because of a guy? She had realized that she loved him ages ago. She still did and it was tearing her apart. But she had to live with her mistakes and let him live his own life. But visiting his gigs once in a while couldn't hurt, right? It wasn't like the bar was super small, it wasn't huge but there still was enough room not to bump into their old friends.

If anyone asked her she would say that she was doing fine. She would go out alone sometimes, sometimes with company. But in her thoughts, it was always him sitting across from her. Whatever she said. She wasn't over him. There wasn't a thing she wouldn't do to turn back time but then again this wasn't one of her dreams where she was back in his small room all these years ago. It was reality and in reality she has fucked up big time.

And there he was. While Daenerys had been lost in thoughts the prior singer-songwriter had left the stage, making room for her childhood friend. He looked good, tired maybe but then again it was half past one in the night and he had probably been working in the library all day. Was he still working there? Was he still trying to pay his bills alone? Was he still living in that small apartment with Robb? Dany closed her eyes for a second, pained by the thought of not knowing anything about his life when just two years ago she was an significant part of it. She had known every little thing there was to know about the dark-haired man and now she knew nothing. For all she knew he might have changed completely.

But he still looked the same. Up there with his acoustic guitar, sitting on what looked like a black painted wooden box, he looked exactly the way he did when they parted in dispute. But then again she was too far away from the stage to actually judge. But he still sported this messy bun on the back of his head, taming the rest of his black curls at least a bit and still had this stubble she only ever complained about when his head had rested on her bare chest.

When Jon started speaking, greeting the crowd and introducing his first song Daenerys froze. She had missed this voice, it had comforted and made her laugh uncountable times. But in this very moment it was sending shivers down her spine. Coming here must have been the worst idea in human history. What had she been thinking? That she would watch him play and it would do nothing to her other than giving her some nice and nostalgic feelings? She was by now assistant in a big government office, working her ass off to get the recognition she was thriving for and this was scaring her? She had been hired for her emergency solutions and great strategic planning but now here she was failing miserably.

When Jon started singing though she felt the air fleeting from her lungs, her chest tightening alarmingly. His voice was still doing funny things to her only now the sound of it was suffocating. To make everything even less bearable he was singing one of the songs she had heard him practise way back then. She had to admit that she was a little disappointed that he didn't start with one of his own songs though. But she still loved this one. It was "Break your heart" by The Gaslight Anthem, one of her favourite was songs when she was younger. Now It was just a salty memory, a painful reminder that they would never do that again, listen to acoustic versions of their favourite songs together, share the same memories.

It would break your heart, if you knew me well.

See, I have run so far that I've lost myself.

And there are things I have seen that I never will tell.

They drove me out of my mind and inside of myself.

And oh, my my, it would break your heart,

If you knew how I loved you, if I showed you my scars,

If I played you my favorite song lying here, in the dark.

Oh my my, it would break your heart.

It would bring you to tears, if you knew what I know.

See, I spent all of my money on second hand love

But I trusted somebody way and back when.

And I loved her like fire until it drove me insane.

This was too much, ultimately. Dany quickly drowned her drink and grabbed her small back and keys in a haste. She had to get out of there and she had to do it now. When she turned around to leave though she bumped into a rather familiar figure.

"Margaery." Dany analysed quickly. Her words more shock then delight. But to her defence she really was fleeting so it could have been anyone and she had reacted exactly the same.

"Well if that isn't a surprise!" The taller women exclaimed, pulling Dany in for a hug. They had been friends actually, back in law school before Daenerys moved to Washington they had studied together and grabbed coffee plenty of times. Besides it was impossible not to like the pretty Tyrell. Her hair was in a loose bun while wearing simple tank top and jeans but she still managed to look amazing, effortless. It was a complete contrast to Daenerys in her formal business clothing, all black trousers, blouse and blazer. She had just finished a meeting 20 minutes from here so she figured she could stop by for an hour or so. What a naive mistake.

"What are you doing here? It's been quite a while as I recall." Margaery asked, a surprised look on her face. For a second Dany wondered if she was mad at her for not calling but as her expression changed to a sympathetic smile she was thankful for her friends' endless patience and grace.

"I was in the neighbourhood actually." Dany started but she could tell from the look on Margaery's face that she did not believe her even though the slightly older girl tried to hide it. But Dany was way too tired and emotionally drawn to explain herself right now. "How have you been? You look amazing. And is that a god damn ring on your hand?" Daenerys asked. She had just discovered the piece of jewellery. It was obviously an engagement ring.

Margaery was almost blushing, a state Daenerys had never seen her in. She used to be the girl all the guys were pining for, she never really had serious relationships because she never wanted to. Yet she only had to say one word for there would be 10 great candidates on her doorstep. But now she was actually holding back, wasn't she? "Well I've been doing great. I got an amazing place as an attorney at a law firm in Boston so I could finally quit working at my parents flower shop and of course I quit modelling as soon as I signed the contract." The brown -haired girl had modelled for fun at first but actually made some good money with it. She never wanted to be reduced on her body though, even if she didn't hold back from using it when she could benefit. A flirty smile here and there was most likely still available. "And the ring, yeah I am actually engaged to Robb. Who would have predicted that?" She asked with a small smile while playing with the small silver band on her finger.

"Oh Robb, really?" Dany asked surprised. She had brought her to a movie night with the Starks once but engaged? That is huge and she had never expected Robb to settle so soon. But then again she had missed a lot, hadn't she?

"Yeah." Margery replied but it was a lot more quiet now. "I am sorry to intervene, love, but you shouldn't do this."

"Do what?" The Targaryen was confused now. Asked about her life? Why shouldn't she? They had been good friends once.

"You shouldn't come in here and turn his entire life upside down. He has been through some very rough two years and you're a big part of that. While I always rooted for the two of you, you can't just rush in and out of his life like this if you have no intention of staying. Seeing you leave again would destroy him." Her old friend told her honestly. Dany could tell that she was only trying to protect Jon so she didn't argue.

"I now." The silver haired woman admitted quietly.

"But you weren't, were you?" Margery realised as she looked at the clutch and keys in the other woman's hands. "You were about to leave again."

"I- I don't know what to do. I cannot stay away but I can't face him either. I know that it's not fair to him either way."

"Then go before Robb sees you, or Arya. I can keep a secret if you want me to but they will be furious." Margery warned her friend nicely. She got why Dany was doing it even though she was convinced that it was wrong. After all she was about to marry Jon's brother so she couldn't pretend that she was in any way neutral on this but she also held a spot in her heart for her friend so she let her leave and swore not to tell. "Please call sometime, ok?" She added in a caring tone as Dany nodded and left the bar.

"C'mon, man! You can't brood in your room all by yourself forever. Let's go out tonight. You, me, Theon and Pod. It'll be fun!" Robb exclaimed as he dropped down next to his (adoptive) brother on the bed. Jon hadn't left his room for the entire weekend except for getting food. Arya wasn't there this week so he had no body he could convince to order pizza with him. When Jon wasn't busy working or studying he was reading books or watching movies on his bed, the times he left his room to do this on the couch were the bright ones really.

"I'm a grown man, you don't have to look after me. I am perfectly fine reading this evening, in fact I just started a new book." Jon told him in a grumpy tone.

"Let me see." Robb grabbed the book from him and read the cover. "Ancient Valyria. Wow that almost sounds interesting." He said before getting up quickly, the book still in his hand and continued: "Except it doesn't and you're coming with us."

"Give it back, that's not funny." Jon told him and tried to snatch it from his older brother but Robb made his way into their small living room beaming in victory.

"Now you don't have much of a choice." He declared as he disappeared from sight.

Jon sunk back into the covers and let his head fall back. He wasn't in the mood to go out and he had no idea why everyone was pushing him or why everyone suspected that this had anything to do with Daenerys. That was two years ago and even Jon Snow could get over things. His life had changed though. He had to work extra hours and had just started writing his own songs again so he had every right to relax when he got home. Other than that Dany had been the one dragging him to social events and evenings in the bar most of the time but she is gone so he got to do whatever the hell he wanted to. He finally had some time to read and catch up on his Uni papers and that had to count for something, right?

Also he couldn't risk getting drunk. He couldn't risk calling her in the middle of the night to tell her how much he grew to resent her, how she had broken his heart. Or worse - apologies for being such a dick when they last talked. He had called her selfish and he never forgave himself for that. Maybe they would still be in contact, still see each other, still fall asleep next to each other sometimes if he had supported her. But he just had to yell at her and make her feel like she was the worst person ever. So maybe this was his fault too. Maybe she is afraid to call because he had been so harsh on her. Margaery had told him that it wasn't his fault, that Dany would most likely understand why he said what he said. But why didn't she call then? If she wasn't angry at him as well? Why did she not write one stupid ass text? It was hopeless. So much for being over it, Jon.

"If you look at her instagram one more time I will break your phone. Seriously I will crash it with the very glass I am holding." Arya threatened him. They were sitting at a local fast food restaurant, the one where Theon was working until he found something real good. At least that's what he's been telling everyone.

"I wasn't-" Jon started but he knew that it was hopeless. Arya knew him better than any other of his siblings, then anyone now that Daenerys was gone. He really just checked if there was a new picture of her. He just had to see her and if that was his only chance he would take it. Sure it was little bit pathetic but fuck it. He needed to see her face and he didn't care how much of a joke he made of himself.

"So any news?" Arya asked. She didn't really care because she too was angry at the silver haired woman but she knew that Jon did and even though Arya had never been one for the emotional stuff she was there for him.

"No." Jon admitted quietly. The last picture she had posted was in an airplane going wherever. Jon felt horrible for not knowing where she was headed, what she was doing and what she was thinking at the moment. He always used to. But now she felt worlds away. Before that Dany had posted some picture of her with some weird guy. He looked older than her, by at least 10 years. He was rather lean and not as pale as she was on that picture but that was about all he could make out. She had tagged him jorahhmo. But the thing that was pissing him off the most was the caption "Hiking in the mountains with my favourite bear." Who the fuck is that guy for her to give him nicknames like this?! Jon had been furious when she had posted it. She didn't get to move on while he was sitting here waiting for her to magically decide to come back. It wasn't fair.

"Wanna hear what I think?" Arya asked again as she watched him stuffing fries into his mouth.

"No." Jon said annoyed, earning a warning look that made him correct himself. "Yes."

"I could tell you to get over her but I wouldn't be the first person coming forth with this brilliant idea." She said in a sarcastic tone. "But I swear to god if you tell anyone what I'm about to tell you I am going to kill you, no mercy."

Jon nodded with a small laugh.

"Remember Gendry? He was in my class and while I hated every one of those shallow high school people he wasn't so bad. We were probably as close as you and Daenerys where. But he decided to join the army and I had no idea how I felt about that. You know I always thought that if there was a person out there for me it was Gendry. But turns out there actually are other fish in the pond if you open up to the idea that there isn't 'the One', there are many 'Ones' but that doesn't mean that you have to forget about the first One nor feel bad for moving on. Gendry did. Daenerys did. So why can't you?" Arya asked. "While I waited for Gendry to come back I didn't open up to anyone else, not that I would've need to, I'm a strong ass woman, but when I did I met Asha. And the way we are handling our relationship or whatever it just works for us. And I stopped hoping for him to come back." Arya told him but instead of sporting a sad or nostalgic face she really seemed at peace with all of it. "That was hella cheesy and I will never speak of it again but I figured it could help."

"I guess it does." Jon admitted with a sigh, still confused by the honest words from his sister. He understood that there were certain parallels but in his current state moving on seemed impossible. Jon wished that it was different. He had tried to forget about her, he really did. But while there were good days and bad ones her absence was still causing him pain that was almost physical.

When Dany returned home her beautiful and big apartment seemed nothing but empty to her. She dropped her bag and suitcase to the floor before crashing on the couch. She had been staying in a hotel close to her hometown the night before so she didnt have to drive through the night. It had been hell knowing that just 10 or 15 minutes away Jon was sleeping in the bed they had shared so many times. But then again she didnt even know if he still lived there.
In moments like these she wished that she was still back home. At least this way she would always have people around her that loved her. Now all she had was her cat Drogon and people she would barely consider she had just made herself comfortable with a blanket and some tee she heard the doorbell ring.

It was Daario with some boxes of sushi in his hand and a bottle of white wine in the other.
"You, me and some delicious treats, what do you say love?" He asked in a persuasive tone. All Dany really wanted was to cuddle up on the couch with Dragon and a nice book. Not late night visits from a guy she only ever contacts when she needs a decent hook-up to get her mind off things. But she couldnt turn him away like that, not when the alternative was sitting alone in her huge apartment, thinking about how different things could have been.

Two years ago, before she left in the worst way possible, ruining the only important relationship she ever had, there was a night when Jon took her out to a family dinner. It was the both of them and the rest of the Stark clan and she had never felt safer or more loved in her entire life. They would make jokes about the older relatives with Arya and share their food so they could taste more different things on the menu. Or because she could never settle for only one meal. Anyway her favorite part of the evening was when, after one or two drinks, she had been brave enough to place her hand on his thigh under the table and Jon actually took it. He even stroked it lightly before beaming up on her. It was them against the world. The first time they held hands like this. That night she actually felt invincible. She felt like all of her traumatic family past didnt matter anymore because he was her family now, because she finally belonged somewhere. Their romance had been so soft and naive, like slipping into a dream and she still remembered every minute of it.

But that was over now and she was alone. So she made room for the dark haired man to step inside and prepare the food. She was by far not wasted enough to let anything happen between them though, and she had the feeling that he might know. After all Daario wasnt too bad of a person. He loved having fun but he also respected people for who they were. And Daenerys wasnt one of his girls. She was grown up now and she was broken. They could enjoy themselves with some food and whine without anything romatinc going on at all. Similar to how things were with Jorah even though she would actually consider him a friend. When she came to Washington he was been the first person to make her feel like ahe belonged even if it was just a tiny bit. He was kind and loyal. The perfect man for some lucky women out there, just not her. Of course she knew that he still held hopes for them but after a couple of awkward conversations she had made it clear that she valued him as a friend, never a lover, and that she needed at least this one normal friendship to stay sane.

That evening she made Daario leave after dinner and a couple episodes of her favorite tv show. She needed her space, especially in the night. It was nice to have someone around now and then but she could not let herself be mislead - she was always alone when she fell asleep, and she would still be alone waking up. That didnt change when she was at her small apartment in New York, where she had a job working for one minor UN-office, nor did it change when she was "home" in Washington. She had finished her bachelors degree in record time so she could start working as a political advisor, while doing her masters degree.

Her job was mostly exciting, sometimes exhausting and it kept her busy. She really got to do what she dreamt of, even though she wasnt quite there yet. Still, Daenerys always felt like something was missing. She was happy but she wasnt entirely. Yet in those two years she had never giving anyone the real opportunity to fill that void. She read many books, travelled a lot, did some sports and kept in contact with people from work and university. So she was okay, really. But there were many moments in a day where she wished Jon would still be by her side, sharing them with her.

Mostly in the night when she lay in bed, tossing and turning, she missed him. The way he would pull her closer, the way he watched her fall asleep, the way he would look at her waking up. But she had messed that one up. So she had to cope with it. But taking her phone and dialing his number sounded better than ever today. She just needed to hear his voice this once and she would stop longing for it, Dany was sure of that.
Without much deeper thought she clicked on the green button. It started to dial. It rang-

What did she do?!

Jon had finally let them drag him out into a bar one night.

When suddenly his phone vibrated he definitely regretted placing it on the wooden bar table. Edd had grabbed it in a matter of seconds and answered "Johnny Loverboys phone, press 1 if this a bootycall and 2 if you are his mother." The older man said in a funny voice, trying to provoke his friend a little, but also trying to get a rare smile from the man, who had done so much for him. They had met at a security guard job Jon had been doing some years ago to pay for his tuition. The two of them instantly clicked and he even got him a job at the bar he was having his gigs at. Eddison or "Edd" as they called him, got lucky and undertook the bar eventually. So that's where Jon usually hangs out with his friends when he leaves his flat for a change.

"Oh Jonny it's Daenerys she desperately wants you back!" Edd joked again, earning a laugh from Theon and Pod while Robb was watching his brother closely. The younger Stark really tried his best to remain his cool, but his brother could tell that even now these jokes were bugging him.

"Jon-" Edd started again, but this time a lot more quiet, almost apologetic. "It actually is Dany."

Jon froze. He had no idea if his friends were messing with him again or if this was serious. For a second he wished for the former.

Seeing that his brother was obviously overwhelmed and the chatter was getting out of hand, Robb reached for the phone and handed it to Jon "You might wanna take this outside, bro." he advised quietly before watching Jon leave the room. He was still worried about his younger brother, even though they technically weren't this closely related he felt like there was no one closer to him, well except for Margaery of course. Jon had been devastated when Daenerys left. He had been letting his jobs and his studies slide, had stayed out all night drinking at the bar and even started smoking for a while. It had been heart-breaking to watch. Even now Jon was still not the same again. He had gotten his life together for the most part, yet he hadn't been happy since. Not even for a small moment. The closest to happy he had seen his brother was at his' and Magaerys engagement party. But even then his eyes had been sad. Robb was worried that this phone call would bring him down again.

.

"Jon?" He heard her voice asking hesitantly. Her voice. It was the first time in two years that they were talking again and it revived and destroyed him at once.

"Hey." Jon answered a lot quicker than he wanted to. He had been too afraid of her hanging up on him. While he was still angry at her, he needed to hear her voice just a little longer.

I am so sorry.

I missed you so much.

I never should have left like this.

Those were things Daenerys wanted to say so desperately. But she couldn't. It was like the shame of it kept her from admitting it out loud and yet she knew that he knew. He knew that she was sorry. Without saying a word Jon made her feel it through the line. He may not forgive her but he had to know that she was sorry.

So instead of addressing the elephant in the room she chose a softer start. She just needed to hear his voice.

"Hey." She repeated breathlessly, not able to ask him how he felt or how he has been holding up. Dany knew the answer would kill her either way. Yet she wanted him to know that he was still a part of her life, that she never stopped wondering what he was doing in that very moment and that there would never be anyone who completed her like he did, who moved her like he did. She could never tell him though.

They stayed quiet for a while, just listening to each others breathing.

Jon leaned back against the cold brick wall and closed his eyes. He wanted to tell her that he didn't need her. That he had forgotten about her entirely. That he could hurt her just the same. But it was a lie, he could never. But what else could he say? Not like he could just tell her that he missed her and ask her if they could see each other again. Jon felt like this was a line he couldn't cross.

"It's good to hear your voice." Daenerys said, her voice barley above a whisper. It took all the courage she had but staying silent was not an option.

"Yeah." Jon replied. It was good to hear her voice as well. Good didn't even cover it. It was a kind of relieve. It sent shivers down his spine. He sunk down to the ground and listened to her speaking.

"So I heard that Robb and Mar got engaged. That's huge!" She tired some small talk to keep him on the line while avoiding to talk about their situation. It was harder than she thought.

"It is yeah." Jon answered and the silence between them returned.

After a while he gave in to the conversation. He was afraid of the moment after they both would hang up. The silence that did not include her uneven breathing, a silence that was only him in the back of a bar.

So with one more big sigh he started – "You should have seen Arya and Sansa at the engagement party. They were singing karaoke drunk and crooked as hell."