A/N: Hope you liked the last chapter, here is the next one.
I'd like to add a note to a lovely anonymous (well, guest I think) reviewer, who wrote the following, 'To be honest, the fact that you can stand to include Puck in your story makes it hard for me to read. Knowing what kind of a person Mark S is. It makes me want to gag reading the name Puck and imagining his face.' (edited for clarity). Now, let's get a few things straight. First of all, to everyone, I wrote a disclaimer on my profile about Mark Salling, that you can read if it bothers you. To the anonymous reviewer, I'm sorry that you find it hard to read something that has Puck in it, but I'm not writing a story about Mark Salling. I think what he did was completely abhorrent, but I know, that Noah Puckerman, would never commit the same crimes. Oh, and I included an extra dose of Puckerman in this chapter just for you! If it bothers you, I highly suggest that you stop reading. Because this is my story, and I was always going to have Noah in it as I love Puckleberry romantically and platonically. I think it is highly unfortunate the Mr Salling decided to taint the image of Glee by doing what he did, but Noah Puckerman is a character that I am always going to like. That may be an unpopular opinion, but I am going to stick by it come hell or high water. I would like to reiterate, however, that I DO NOT condone anything that Mr Salling did. If you can stand to read it this, even with the inclusion of Puckerman, please do. But don't leave an anonymous comment saying that kind of thing. If anyone has any other things along those lines to comment, please PM them to me, I will be happy to prove you wrong in a more private message. As for the rest of you that aren't trying to cause trouble, I thank you for reading and reviewing, and hope you enjoy this chapter. We're finally going to get to see what's going on in Quinn's head! And to the guest reviewer that thought closeted Rachel was cute, I agree! Enjoy, -Lauren's Glee Stories
Rachel's POV
I woke up really early Saturday morning, shortly after falling asleep, to the sound of ringing coming from my bedside table,
"Shut up!" I mumbled, still half asleep,
The ringing did stop, which made me sit up in confusion, "Why'd you stop?" I asked my phone curiously, before it started again, this time, I reached for the phone and saw Quinn's caller ID on the screen, 'Calling me at 1 am on a Saturday?' I thought as I swiped the screen to answer,
"Hello...?" I greeted cautiously,
"Hi Rach." Quinn sniffed, "How are you?"
I looked at the phone in concern, "How am I?" I repeated, "What's wrong Quinn? What happened?"
Quinn just took a deep breath, "I'm sorry Rach, it's late, I should have called Santana… I'm gonna go." She apologised,
"Don't hang up!" I objected quickly, jumping out of my bed and rushing to my wardrobe to get some clothes out,
"Why'd you call, Quinn? I don't mind, just, tell me why?" I asked again, pulling on some trackie bottoms,
Quinn hesitated before answering, "Could you come and pick me up?" She asked timidly,
"Pick you up?" I repeated in confusion, "From your house… at this time?"
"I'm not at home." Was the reply,
My blood ran cold,
"Quinn? Where are you? Are you ok? Are you hurt?" I asked desperately,
"I'm at a park, I think, the one near the neighbourhood crazy lady? And I'm fine. Just, upset…" She insisted, a hint of amusement in her voice,
"I'm on my way. I'm ten minutes away, tops." I told her before hanging up,
'Shit! What was she thinking? A park, at this time? Anything could happen to her!' I thought as I grabbed a jacket, and ran down the stairs, now wearing a very stylish combination of track pants and a knitted jumper, with trainers,
I grabbed the keys from the console and rushed out the door, not bothering to stay quiet as my dads were out for the weekend,
As I drove, I thought of all the possible things that could have led Quinn to a park after midnight, none of them sounded too good in my head.
I pulled up to the street the park was on and parked my car very haphazardly, 'I'll deal with that later…" I thought to myself. I jumped out of the car, grabbing the jacket, and ran towards the park, where I could faintly make out a figure, standing next to the path,
"Quinn!" I called out, mostly in relief, I was scared that by the time I got there Quinn would be gone, and I would have to channel my inner detective in order to find her,
Her head snapped up at the mention of her name, and I ran over to the blond, wrapping her up in an enormous hug, "I'm so glad you called me." I reassured,
"Thank you for coming to get me." Came the muffled response from Quinn,
"I don't mind," I replied honestly, kissing the top of Quinn's head, 'Was that weird?' I thought, but Quinn just hugged me tighter in response, 'Not too weird,' I thought happily,
"Oh," I remembered, pulling away from her, "I bought a jacket for you, you're freezing," I said, holding out the jacket for her to take,
"Thank you." She replied, and accepted the jacket gratefully,
"Do you want me to take you home?" I asked curiously, really not sure what the blonde wanted me to do,
"No!" Quinn objected, "Not yet, I just, no."
I contemplated the options for a minute, it was really only my house or Britt or Tana's house,
"Looks like we're having a sleepover then." I declared with a grin,
Quinn looked at me hopefully, "I can stay the night?" She asked,
'You can stay forever' I thought, but decided it wise not to voice that opinion,
"Of course," I replied, linking my arm through hers and walking over to where my car was currently (and possibly illegally?) parked.
"I do want a bit of an explanation though, Quinn." I requested, "A sleepover means you'll have plenty of time to tell me." I added with a grin,
Quinn smiled back, then turned around to gaze out of her window curling her legs under her and leaving us to drive back to my house in silence.
Half an hour later, Quinn and I were sat cross-legged on my bed, drinking hot chocolate and both waiting for the other to talk first,
"It's silly really." Quinn scoffed, turning her head away from me,
"Emotions aren't right or wrong, they just are." Came my reply in a sing-song voice,
"I guess…" She agreed, still sounding unsure,
Just when I was about to step in, she spoke again, "It was my dad."
I winced, that couldn't be good, but waited for her to continue,
"It's silly," She laughed half-heartedly, "He was supposed to visit yesterday. More for Sophie, than anything else. I mean, she doesn't understand it the same way our mum, or myself, can. Anyway, he was supposed to come to one of Sophie dance recitals, then take us out for dinner… He never showed. It just, upset me, more than it maybe should have."
I squeezed her hand gently, "It's okay to be upset Quinn. It's only me."
Quinn turned away, and wiped her eyes,
"It's just, it's so simple. Come back to Lima, see your kids. Done. It's obvious he doesn't care about us but he shouldn't try making it more obvious," She scoffed,
"I'm sure your dad still cares, Quinn. I'm sure he just, couldn't make it. Sometimes things are more complicated than they appear. Give him some time," I tried to reassure her,
"No. It's simple, he would visit us if he loved us. Or at least Sophie,"
She sees everything black and white
I shook my head, deciding to change the topic, "I'm still not quite sure how you ended up in that park at 1 am on a Saturday," I admitted,
"I got home from Soph's recital and I had a massive freak out, So I went out for a walk, ended up in that park. I was there for a long time before I finally decided to call you," She explained,
I nodded in understanding, taking another sip of my hot chocolate.
"Why did you call me Quinn?" I queried, confused, "Don't get me wrong!" I rushed to add, "I don't mind and am happy you called me, but you said you'd normally call Santana…"
Quinn looked a bit uncomfortable, shifting on the bed, "I don't know. Maybe it's the fact that Santana would give me crap if I called her again, I mean, she's a good friend, but, I didn't need her at the time. I needed a friend like, well, you."
I wondered if I correctly heard the over-pronunciation of 'friends' but decided to let it be. I glanced at my watch and winced when I saw the time, "We should get to bed if we ever want to wake up tomorrow." I suggested,
I got under my covers and watched Quinn hover unsurely near the floor, (where I had set up a sleeping bag) I flicked off my lamp and pulled the duvet cover back, tapping the space next to me,
Quinn looked at me, "You sure?"
I laughed it off, "Of course, get in, it'll be warmer."
She lay down next to me and faced the wall. After a few minutes, I was convinced she had fallen asleep, but that was disproved when I saw Quinn's shoulder's shaking slightly. 'She doesn't want to cry in front of me.' I thought sadly, I was never one to hide my emotions quite like that,
I shifted under the covers and moved closer Quinn and hugging her from behind, hoping I didn't overstep any boundaries. One of Quinn's arms grabbed my own and she continued crying quietly, while I tried to ignore the part of my brain that was saying 'I could get used to this'. A tear ran down my own cheek as I thought about how painful being friends with Quinn would be.
Never let nobody see her cry
Quinn's POV
I woke up from a very inappropriate dream about a certain best friend of mine at around 3 am, to find said best friend's arms wrapped around me snugly. I cuddled up to Rachel, pretending that the dream didn't just happen, falling back asleep peacefully.
"Quinn!" A voice invaded my dream,
"Go away!" I moaned at the person, cuddling back against the soft pillow behind me,
The person laughed softly, 'That's a nice laugh' my sleepy-self thought,
"Come on Quinn! I need to get up and you're squishing me!" A voice, 'Rachel,' I thought, complained,
'Shit, not a pillow!' I thought, sitting up quickly, "Sorry…" I apologised, blushing furiously, looking down at my lap,
"It's alright, you were comfy until I needed to get up to pee." She consoled, "I'll be right back. I'm just going to the bathroom." She explained, stumbling out of the room, obviously still feeling sleepy herself,
I rubbed my eyes, a vain attempt to clear my vision and look more awake,
I stood up, got out of the bed, and walked over to Rachel's desk, where the pictures I saw last time are still sitting, I picked one up (a black and white portrait) and studied it carefully, 'I can't believe I thought this was me,' I thought, 'Of course Rachel doesn't just have drawings of me in her bedroom, that would be weird,' I reminded myself,
"It does look a lot like me though…" I muttered quietly,
I heard Rachel's awkward laugh enter the room, "Oh, that's still out! Yes, the picture of my… niece,"
"Cousin." I corrected her, "You said it's your niece, but it's your cousin."
"Right… Cousin… that's what I said…" She corrected,
She said it so surely that I was convinced I had actually heard her wrong, so I just nodded,
"Oh, by the way, my dads are staying with a friend this weekend. So, just you and me at the moment," She added,
My eyes widened as I heard the slight double meaning of her words,
"Not like THAT!" She quickly corrected, "I didn't mean it like that at all, I mean, that would be super weird,"
"Yeah," I agreed half-heartedly, "Really weird,"
I saw a flash of emotion on Rachel's face before she covered it up, 'I must be imagining things…'
She suggested that we go and eat breakfast, "Coco Pops?" I asked with a sly grin,
"First one down wins!" She declared,
We raced each other down the stairs pushing and shoving until I tripped on the last one, I closed my eyes, waiting for the impact to hit but it never did. There were a strong pair of arms wrapped securely around my waist,
"Careful." Rachel said with a wink, steadying me on my feet before letting go,
I cleared my throat, not sure what to make of the feelings that the wink stirred up within me, "Breakfast?" I suggested,
"Good idea." Rachel agreed quickly, turning on her heel and legging it to the kitchen,
I sat on the bottom step for a minute, pondering the pros and cons if one were to develop a crush on their best friend that didn't swing that way. Not liking what the list produced, I pushed it out of my mind and followed Rachel into the kitchen. She was busying herself pouring two bowls of cereal and glasses of orange juice,
"Sit down, I've got this." She suggested, well, it was more of a 'Rachel Berry order', so I dutifully followed it,
She sat down in the place opposite me, passing me my bowl of cereal. We ate in silence for a couple of minutes,
"Let's do something tomorrow!" I suddenly suggested, which made Rachel jump about a foot in the air,
"What'd you have in mind?" Rachel asked with a sly grin, 'Was she flirting? Is that what flirting looks like? No, of course not, she's your friend, she does not like you like that.' I thought to myself, shaking away the thought, and pondering what we could do,
"Maybe shopping, Ooh and there's a new horror movie that I really want to see!" I remembered excitedly,
Rachel looked terrified, "A horror movie?" She squeaked,
"Oh come on, it will be fun. If you get scared I'll be there to hold your hand," I teased, only half-joking,
Rachel's gaze turned into more of a glare at that comment, but it softened and she agreed, "Ok, one movie. And if I get nightmares I'm permitted to call you at all hours of the night!" She bargained,
"Deal," I agreed happily. Phone calls from Rachel only ever made my day better anyway.
I left Rachel's house around midday, with promises to be there early the next morning.
As I sat in the car with my mom, she didn't say anything, obviously not wanting to push for answers about the previous night, which I was grateful for,
"I'm sorry mom." I apologised,
My mom just gave me a kind smile, "I know sweetheart. I'm just glad you had a friend you could call to help you."
I smiled widely at the thought of Rachel, "Yeah." I agreed. I knew I was lucky to have Rachel in any capacity, and my feelings for her were so confusing that 'friends' was satisfying enough for the time being.
I frown as I thought of what my mom would think if she was able to hear my thoughts at the minute. I made a snap decision, I needed to call a meeting of the Unholy Trinity.
"Could you take me to Tana's house mom?" I requested sweetly,
"Uh," she looked at my face, "Sure, let me just turn the car around." She responded,
I texted Santana and Brittany in the group chat on my phone,
'Girls Night! Meet at Tana's in 20.'-Quinn
I got the responses almost immediately,
'My house Q? Really? Britt and I are already here so come whenever.'- Santana,
'Yeah, we were getting our sweet lady kisses on.'-Britt
'Britt!'-Santana
'I know way too much about your sex life'-Quinn
'Deal with it Q.'-Santana
I rolled my eyes in fond exasperation at my friends' behaviour. They could be silly, and Santana could be a real bitch, but I didn't know what I would do without them to talk to.
My mom drops me off at San's house a short while later,
"When will I see you?" She queried,
"Well I'm thinking of staying the night, and I'm going shopping tomorrow, so maybe dinner tomorrow?" I responded, leaving Rachel out of it without conscious thought,
"Okay, I'll see you then, have fun with the girls!" my mom said, driving off,
I walked up to the door, preparing to knock when I remembered my outfit, total walk of shame worthy. I was wearing my clothes from the night before, plus a hoodie that Rach lent me. On top of that, my hair hadn't been brushed and my mascara was smudged under my eyes. Great. Santana was like a motherfucking spy; she'd be onto me as soon as she looked at me. In fact, she was probably already onto me!
I knocked anyway, already having come to terms with my early demise,
"Just a minute!" A reply came from inside,
The door swung open a minute later, revealing a smiling Britt and a snarky looking Santana, at least they were consistent.
"Quinny, Quinn, Quinn, what do we have here?" Santana smirked, taking in my appearance,
"It's not what you think," I responded truthfully,
What? It wasn't!
"Hmm, we'll see about that. I've got ice-cream, nail polish and a crappy rom-com that Britt bullied me into getting."
*Whipped* I coughed loudly,
Santana glared in response, Brittany just watching the interaction,
"Come in." She said shortly,
I strolled in, looking around the house as I always did, admiring the home. Santana's father was a doctor, so they could afford a pretty nice place, even though they chose to stay in Lima Heights Adjacent.
Hours later, I still hadn't brought up the real reason why I called the group together, skirting around the issue when asked. While watching a second crappy romance film, I paused it and blurted out a question that had been bothering me for a couple of months at that point,
"How did you know you were gay?!"
'Fuck, tact Quinn! Use tact!' Oh well, it was out there now, no turning back,
Lucky for me, Santana did have a soft side when she wanted to, and definitely knew how to be sensitive about this particular topic,
"When I met Britt." Came the soft response, as the Latina glanced at a now sleeping Brittany,
"So you didn't know beforehand?" I attempted to clarify,
"I think," She pondered for a moment, "I think that it was something that I never had to confront until I was hit in the face by it, you know? Like, until I met Brittany, a person that I could (and would) come to love, I had no reason to suspect I was into girls or guys because I had never felt that way about either. So until I met her, I was just thinking that I hadn't met the right guy. You know what I mean?" She questioned,
"Yeah," I replied, a wistful expression on my face,
"Is there... any particular reason you wanted to know?" Santana prodded,
'Shit, nope, not ready, ABORT! ABORT!' Sirens went off in my head and I responded quickly,
"Uh, just, a friend of mine, is going through a bit of a, uh…" I really didn't know where I was trying to go with that statement,
"Well, tell your friend that no matter what, she matters. And, no matter what, she'll have support. Don't let her think otherwise." Santana recommended,
I glanced at her gratefully, she really did know when to push and when not to. She probably knew what I was talking about, heck, Britt could probably figure it out if she was awake. Actually, knowing Britt, she already knew and was waiting to surprise everyone with her wicked perceptiveness.
I'd tell her eventually, not about Rachel though, I was beginning to think I would be taking that secret to my grave.
The next day, I walked a bit of the way to Rachel's house, enough to make Santana think I was walking home, then decided to call Rachel, to save me the 1/2 hour walk.
The phone barely even dialled once before a frantic sounding Rachel picked up,
"Quinn? Are you ok? Did you need something?" She asked desperately,
I just chuckled lightly, "I'm fine Rachel, listen I walked a bit of the way from San's house but it's a pretty long walk so I was wondering,"
"Of course I'll pick you up," Rachel interjected, "I'm already in my car, where are you?"
I rattled off the approximate address before hanging up the phone,
What seemed like minutes later, Rachel's car pulled up in front of me,
"Get in loser, we're going shopping!" Rachel quoted excitedly,
I rolled my eyes, "In these clothes? I've been wearing these for the past three days," I commented,
"Oh, no worries, we can stop by my house, it's closest anyway, you can borrow some clothes from me,"
That idea did not sound bad at all, so I agreed happily.
After I had changed we got back in the car to drive to the Mall. Once we're almost there, Rachel spoke up, "Hang on, three days? Why three?" She queried, "Don't you mean two?"
I thought carefully about what to say, "I, went to Santana's house straight after I left yours. I went straight there so I didn't get a chance to pick anything up." I explained,
"Must have been urgent then!" Rach joked,
"You have no idea," I muttered under my breath,
"Pardon?" She asked, 'Damn it,'
"I said… I have an idea…?"
"Ooh let's hear it,"
'Uh, let's not, change the topic, pronto!' I thought,
"Uh, just, let's get popcorn at the movies!" I decided,
"Right… Okay then, we can do that…" Rachel agreed, probably thinking I was a psycho with some personality disorder by this point.
We spent a good couple of hours shopping, trying on clothes and just wandering around the Mall aimlessly. It was good fun; I didn't think I had laughed that much for ages. It was really nice to see Rachel in a free environment, not scared of being watched or toning down her exuberant personality.
When we went to the cinema to watch the horror movie, Rachel started squealing not even five minutes in. I had to admit though, it was a scary movie by my standards, so I couldn't blame her. I just happily offered my hand for her to hold, which she accepted gratefully and clutched like a life-line. For just a tiny moment, I could almost imagine us as being more than friends.
Monday morning came way too soon in my opinion, and I strode down the hallways of McKinley confidently. As head cheerleader, you've got to have confidence. It's probably the defining quality. I stopped by my locker and started getting my books out, once I had done, I closed the door and just leant up against the locker. I watched Rachel walk along the corridor and stop at her locker, gazing at her longingly,
"Quinn!" A voice interrupted my thoughts, sounding like they had probably already called my name once or twice,
"Hmm?" I turned to find none other than Puckerman behind me,
"Who were you staring at?" He questioned,
"Um, no-one…" I answered lamely, looking for answers in the hall,
"New man in your life Quinn?" He teased,
'You could not be more wrong.' I thought to myself,
"Yes." I answered, probably too quickly to be seen as the truth, "Just, this guy in my math class." I lied, "He's gorgeous." Well, she is,
"Oooh!" He said teasingly, "Use protection! We don't want another Beth on our hands!" He joked, before walking down the hallway,
I laughed at the joke, partly in relief that he bought the lie, but partly because I was finally feeling as if I could talk about Beth without crumbling into thousands of little pieces.
I don't let nobody see me wishing she was mine,
A/N: Did you like it? I actually enjoyed writing in Quinn's POV. I hope I managed to make Quinn's opinions and feelings a little bit vague. As that was the desired effect. If not, I hope it works anyway. Oh, and I hope I did okay with Santana's explanation. I'm not gay myself so I obviously can't really comment on what it feels like, or when you know, but I thought that it suited Santana's story, so I went with it. I don't intend for it to be offensive in any way, I swear. So I hope it wasn't. Also, I have just decided, that once this story has finished, there will be a sequel. I'm still a good amount of chapters away from that happening, but I already have the ending for this, and the beginning of the next story planned. But as you can see, we still have a fair amount of song to get through. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. If you want me to write quicker please leave a review! Works a charm ;)
Byeee-Lauren's Glee Stories :D
