A/N: Okay, this story is almost complete in my mind! Unfortunately, that doesn't really say much about how it will go down on paper, but I know where and approximately when I am going with this. I hope you guys have been liking this, if so please leave a review, and let's get on with the chapter!
Rachel's POV
I was sitting in a house, a very beautiful house, but I didn't recognise it. It had light walls, with dark contrasting furniture, and a lovely green garden outside. A voice came from down the corridor,
I'm home!" They called out cheerily. That voice sounded very familiar. I walked down to greet the person, who currently had their back to me,
"Hello?" I greeted unsurely,
The woman turned around and was revealed to be Quinn, "Hey, sweetie! Sorry that I'm back late from work, there was an issue with upper management." She explained and gave me a hug and kiss on the cheek,
"Sweetie…? Work?" I asked, confused,
"Are the kids back from my mother's yet?" Quinn queried, seemingly oblivious to the question I had asked,
Um, were they? I didn't remember seeing any children in the house, "No, she mustn't have dropped them off yet."
"We have some time to ourselves then…" Quinn said with a cheeky grin, pulling me towards the bedroom,
Minutes later, there was a loud beeping invading the room…
I woke up on Saturday with a start. 'God, why does she have to be SO DAMN beautiful?!'
First thought when I wake up,
Is "My god, she's beautiful."
Damn it. That was a really good dream, like, really good. Also very unrealistic, I really had to come up with a way to stop loving Quinn. Well, logically, that would be the right thing to do, but part of me didn't want to stop loving her. Apart from the fact that she doesn't love me back, she was the perfect woman, and I didn't really want to give her up.
Deciding that only the person that got me into this funk could get me out of it, I dialled Quinn's number on my phone,
*Ring-ring, ring-ring, ri…*
"Hi Rach!" She answered cheerily,
"Hey Q, listen, I was wondering if maybe you would like to come to mine tonight, for a sleepover?" I asked unsurely,
"Of course I do!" Quinn replied, perhaps a little too eagerly, "I mean, yeah, sure, I think I'm free, let me check… Yep! I have nothing on my 'to-do' list so count me in!"
I chuckled at her adorable behaviour, "Cool. Do you need me to pick you up?"
"Nah, mom has a pretty chill day too, I can just ask her to bring me 'round." She replied,
"Cool, well, I'll see you around 7 then?"
"Sounds good, bye!" She replied, and hung up on her end,
For a split, teeny tiny millisecond, I was all, 'She hung up on me?', that was of course before I realised that not only was I being ridiculous, but I was being ridiculous without having a valid reason to be ridiculous! Or maybe that is what ridiculous means, anyway… I was glad that Quinn mom could drop her off, as it gave me the whole day to get ready. And before you ask, yes, I do need a whole day to get ready. I could make some of my signature pasta, and cupcakes. Also maybe popcorn, then drinks, then maybe I could make a cake! Okay, maybe that's a little out of hand. I'll stick with the pasta and popcorn. I also decided, seeing as it was a sleepover, to only wear pyjamas. Only, of course, meaning the most revealing without being creepy, pyjamas.
I set about doing my makeup, praying, though I was entirely aware that I was being weird, for some type of miracle tonight. Some kind of mystical, 'now Quinn will love you', kind of miracle. Yep, when pigs fly, hell freezes over, etc., etc.
So I put on my make-up
And pray for a miracle.
At 8:01 that night, the doorbell rang, and I walked, well, ran (very casually) to the front door to get it,
"Quinn!" I greeted with a hug,
'Okay, too enthusiastic Rachel, tone it down, repeat, tone it down.'
"Hey Rach," Quinn smiled softly,
God, that smile would be the death of me.
"I brought some food with me." She continued, holding up a plastic bag with a grin,
I squealed with delight, this was going to be a fun night.
We were lying on the floor in my room painting our nails an hour or so later,
"Want to play truth or dare?" Quinn asked, looking up from painting a toenail,
"No way am I doing any dares," I responded firmly,
"Truth or truth?" Quinn suggested,
I considered it for a moment, "And if we don't want to answer the question, we take a shot."
"Deal." She agreed,
I walked down to my basement to grab some vodka from my dads' liquor cabinet,
"Your dads aren't going to come home?" Quinn checked once I had returned,
"Nah, they're at a friend's place," I explained,
Quinn nodded, "I'll go first. Truth or… truth?" She asked jokingly,
I pretended to think about it for a moment, hand on my chin, "I'm going to have to go with… Truth!"
Quinn laughed, "Okay, I remember you saying you were in love with a guy, what's his name?"
I blanched for a second, before realising that; A) Quinn still thought it was a guy, and B) I didn't have to answer the question,
I shook my head and downed a shot, wincing at the taste,
"Really?! No fair. I want to meet this handsome stranger." Quinn complained, and I burst into slightly bitter laughter, "What?" She asked curiously,
I tried to calm myself down, "Nothing, it's just, the fact, that you want to meet him." I told her,
"Why can't I?" She challenged, a determined look on her face,
'Crap, time for your acting skills to kick in Berry.' I thought to myself,
"He moved recently, to Illinois. He's not coming back I don't think…" I explained, trying to sound truthful and reasonably sad at the same time,
An indistinguishable look passed across Quinn's face but was gone as soon as it came, "I'm sorry to hear that."
I nodded, Quinn may as well be in a different state to me. It probably wouldn't change a thing.
"My turn." I declared, breaking the awkward silence that had come over us, "Have you ever done anything with the Unholy Trinity?" I questioned, I mean, come on, everybody thought there was something off about that 'friendship',
Quinn looked confused for a split second, before realisation dawned, "Wha… No... Never... I'm not… What made you… Um, no." She finally settled with,
I winced at the underlying comment, 'I'm not gay. That's weird, why did you even ask that.'. I tried to lighten up the mood a bit, "Hey," I said, holding my hands up, "Can you really blame me for asking? The whole school sees it." I teased,
Quinn studied me for a moment before finally smiling, "Yeah, well the answer is still no. Personally, I don't see why people are so hung up on it."
"It's just people's desire to stick their nose in business that's not theirs," I explain,
Quinn nodded and started painting the toenails on her right foot, "Ok, my turn. Do you miss Shelby?" She asked softly,
Wow, wasn't expecting that one. I thought about it for a moment, "Yes, I do, but I understand that she isn't really my mom. I don't have a mom, I have two dads, and they are the perfect parents. I wouldn't trade them for the world. So, yes, but it's complicated."
Quinn nodded understandingly,
"Do you miss Beth?" I questioned,
She looked up at me, sadness reflected in her hazel-green eyes, "Every day." She answered softly, "But, at the same time, I know, that she isn't my daughter. She has one parent, Shelby, and I get that. I just," She turned away from me, "I can't help but think of what would have happened if I had kept her, you know?"
"Yeah, I think I get it. You know what they say, hindsight is twenty-twenty."
She laughed bitterly, "Isn't it just?"
I didn't respond to that, just continued doing my own nails. I looked up when I heard Quinn sniffing a couple of minutes later. She was trying not to, but there were tears streaming down her face,
"Oh, honey," I said sympathetically, walking to her and wrapping her up in a big hug,
She continued crying into my shirt for a while before I decided we should get to bed, otherwise, we never would,
"Come on sweetie, let's lie down," I suggested softly, helping Quinn stand up,
She walked over to the bed with me and got under the covers, I followed. Quinn continued crying and I just hugged her tight, my heart breaking at the sight in front of me, confirming just how much I truly, 100% loved this girl.
When we woke up Sunday morning Quinn started apologising profusely, acting timider than the last time it happened (wait? Was this becoming a thing?),
"Quinn!" I spoke loudly, startling her out of her short speech. Academy award winning yes, but useful? Nope. "I don't care! Look at this face," I said, gesturing wildly to my face, "Does she care? No. Because she is your friend. Just, let me help you, okay? When you feel like this, don't hide that away. Promise?" I pleaded,
She hid her face in her hands, but a mumbled, "I promise," came out.
"Excellent. Coco Pops?" I offered,
She moved her hands and grinned at me. 'Coco Pops, you're officially my favourite cereal.' I thought, and we went downstairs to get breakfast,
"So what are you planning on doing today?" Quinn asked conversationally,
I thought about that for a fair while. I thought about last night, and the fact that my feelings are growing stronger, which could only be bad news. Yeah, I had to talk to someone. But who? Neither Noah nor Tina knew the full story of my situation. Like, Tina thought I was in love with Finn. Which was not only wrong but double wrong. Noah understood the 'girl' half of the situation but still had no idea it was Quinn. As far as the Glee club knew, Quinn and I despised each other. I made up a decision,
"I'm going to Kurt's house," I said, surprising myself with the answer. After all, he and I weren't particularly close, but I knew he would understand the situation better than anyone else, and I would definitely still class him as one of my friends.
Quinn looked surprised at the declaration too, "Why Kurt? I mean, not to be rude or anything, but you guys don't exactly seem like BFF's…" She trailed off,
"Of course not, that place is reserved for you." I said jokingly, "To be honest, I need to talk to Kurt about something. I think, he'll understand better than Tina or Noah would,"
I could practically hear Quinn's mind rushing through all the reasons she could think of to talk to Kurt, before she seemed to snap out of it and spoke, "I'm going to Santana's house for that exact reason." She said knowingly,
"Problems of a high school teenager huh?" I joked, and she laughed with me,
I couldn't shake the feeling though, that these weren't really childish problems, but things adults dealt with all the time. The only difference is when adults talk about love, people believe them. When kids talk about love, it's all, 'You don't know what love is' with 'naïve' and 'innocent' thrown in somewhere. One thing I was sure of, was that love could be a bitch.
After Quinn left, I shot off a text to Kurt,
'Need to talk to u, can I come over?'-Rachel
Short and sweet, Kurt would understand the urgency. Sure enough, less than five minutes later her phone buzzed with a reply,
'Of course.' – Kurt,
Also short and sweet. We definitely understood each other.
I drove to his house straight after that and prepared myself to talk to him. I went through different strategies in my head on how to bring the topic up. Of course, all that went out the window when Kurt opened the front door with a look of slight concern on his face,
"I'm a lesbian." I blurted out, much to my horror, looking behind me to see if anyone heard,
Kurt's face transformed from confused to more, shocked, then 'We should talk.'. He ushered me into his house and downstairs into the basement,
"I'm sorry," He started, standing a few steps away from me, "But, did I hear you correctly when you said…"
"That I am 100% completely gay for girls?" I clarified,
"Yep, that's the one," Kurt confirmed with an amusing look of shock still on his face,
I laughed and buried my face in my hands,
"It's awful Kurt. You don't know how much trouble I'm in." I complained,
"Trouble? Rachel, sweetie, you have two gay dads, how bad can it be?!"
I looked up at him in confusion, "Oh, not the gay thing. That's fine. The love thing is what I'm struggling with."
Kurt 'ahhed' knowingly, "Falling for a straight girl you know has no way to reciprocate your feelings?" He clarified,
I nodded,
"Tell me all about her." Kurt demanded, "Then maybe I can try to help."
"She goes to..."
Not our school, it would be too obvious, he can't find out it's Quinn.
"A school, in, uh, Westerville. Um, we were friends, in… Primary school." I lied, okay, now it's safe, to tell the truth,
"I realised that something wasn't quite right in my relationship with Finn, around,"
"October…" Kurt finishes knowingly, "You broke up with Finn in October didn't you?"
I nodded in confirmation, "At first, I thought I just, wasn't attracted to Finn. So, I went to Noah's house late one night."
Kurt winced, probably guessing where this was going, but probably also dramatizing it in his head,
"I kissed him, but it wasn't working. It just confirmed what I had been pushing down for a while. That's also…"
"When you and Noah became close," Kurt interjected, not rudely, just, understandingly,
"Right, so after I came to terms with it I was all good. I didn't really want to tell my dads right away, so, they still don't know, but I also wasn't ready to come out at school, or to the glee club."
"I won't tell anyone." He swore,
"Thanks," I said gratefully, "So then, in around March, I had started spending more time around… Lucy,"
'Fake name, Excellent thinking Rachel. Wait! Lucy is Quinn's name, you idiot! You fucking moron.'
"And then I realised that I had developed feelings for her, and they just kept spiralling and spiralling and before I knew it, I was head over heels."
Kurt pondered the thought for a moment, "You know, Rachel, you should probably tell her."
I opened my mouth to object but he cut me off, "I know, I know. It's scary and she might not take it well, but she deserves to know. She is your friend; you spend lots of time with her. If she is a good friend, then she won't care, and she will stick by you no matter what. Seriously, just, bring it up. I might avoid using the 'L' word, but, use passive speech. Go, 'I think I might' or 'I'm concerned I might…' and then the ball is in her court. Let her decide what to do about it. If she shuns you completely, then she is not a good person to be friends with."
I considered that speech for a moment. Kurt was right, even though I could scare her off, that would end up revealing more about our friendship than anything else. If she ran, then I would hide. School might get tough if she told anyone. But it's senior year. Then, I'm out of this place, headed straight to Broadway. I could make this work.
'Yes,' I told myself in the mirror once I had gotten home, 'You are going to talk to Quinn before one of you gets hurt.'
The only problem was, I had no clue how to do it.
Quinn's POV (same morning)
I called a cab to pick me up from Rachel's house once we finished breakfast and told him the address of Santana's house. I had already texted Santana, who said it was okay for me to come over to hers. I decided to leave Brittany out of the meeting. As much as I loved her, her childlike naivety sometimes made it difficult to talk to her, or in front of her for that matter.
I knocked on the door for Tana to let me in.
After hearing some footsteps, the door swung to reveal Santana, "Hey Q. Let's talk."
"Let's." I agreed half-heartedly. Though I did text her with the intention of talking to her while I was there, I wasn't expecting her to know that.
I followed her into her lounge room and looked around with polite interest (though I've been to her house so often it's practically a second home), to avoid talking to her for a few minutes.
"What's bothering you, Quinn?" Santana prodded, in a softer voice than usual,
"Uh, yeah, a problematic love life I guess," I answered evasively, trying to buy time.
I had already decided that I was going to leave the 'girl' and 'Rachel' parts out of the story. As far as Glee club was concerned, Rachel and I hated each other. At the moment, that was the smartest option for both myself and Rachel.
"Isn't everyone's?" Santana sighed knowingly,
I laughed bitterly, "Tell me about it."
"No, you tell me," Santana replied,
"Urrghhhh." I flumped down on San's couch, "There's this guy," I started,
Santana's eyes narrowed ever so slightly, "Isn't there always?" She asked in a strange tone,
Ignoring that, I continued, "I think I love him." I admitted, and Santana's glare softened,
"You think?" She pushed,
"No, I definitely love… him. I know I do. He's absolutely breathtaking. The kindest person I have ever met. Very determined, strong-willed, can be pretty stubborn." I laughed fondly, thinking of how Rachel reacted when she thought I had read her diary, "Absolutely gorgeous." I continued, picturing Rachel's beautiful smile, her long, dark hair, her big brown eyes, "Stunning. Funny as well. Just, everything. He is everything to me."
Santana looked at me, and though she had a strange look on her face, she smiled, "Definitely sounds like you love he… him."
I studied her carefully for a minute, not wanting to jump to conclusions about her slip up, Santana just looked back so innocently, even Santana can't fake being that innocent. Even if she did suspect it was a girl, there's no way she would suspect Rachel.
"Yep, I definitely love him. There's one problem,"
Santana leant forward slightly in anticipation, "We're very good friends,"
"That's it?" She asked in disbelief,
"Oh, no, that would be too easy." I replied bitterly, "He doesn't play on the same team as I do." I said pointedly, nodding towards Santana,
"It's not Lady Hummel is it?!" Santana asked, clearly disgusted at the thought of Kurt and I dating (or probably something more M rated, knowing Santana),
"Jeez! No, of course not. He goes to…." Shit! Didn't think that one through, "Dalton!"
"Why don't you try to convince him to, you know, experiment a bit."
I thought about it for a moment. No, definitely not,
"No way, he's way too straight-laced. Wouldn't even consider it." I answer honestly,
"You know what you have to do right?" Santana asked,
"No….?" I hoped, mentally crossing my fingers,
"Don't play the fool Quinn, you know what you have to do. You have to talk to the guy!" Santana insisted,
"But I don't wanna!" I whined, pretty similarly to a petulant toddler,
"But you gotta!" Santana replied mockingly, "Quinn, come on, you know I'm right."
"I don't want to lose him…" I said quietly, all traces of humour gone from my voice,
Santana came and kneeled in front of me, "Q, if you lose him because of this, then he wasn't worth keeping." She insisted, looking me in the eye, "Trust me, you need to talk to him, before this gets out of hand and one, or both, of you, gets hurt."
I looked down in defeat, "I know." I replied,
"Come on, let's make hot chocolate!" Santana suggested, jumping up and dragging me to my feet,
Yeah, Santana only ever does emotional for a limit of 10 minutes, after that she's spent all her energy on putting up a nice front that she needs an energy boost. Of course, that's what Santana says, but really, everybody knows she's a big softie and likes making people think she's the big baddie from Lima Heights Adjacent.
I followed her into the kitchen and ended up staying at her house till around 10 that night.
When I got to my house I sat down in front of my vanity and looked at my reflection sternly, "You have to do the right thing and tell Rachel. So you will. Soon. Tell her your feelings. No matter how risky it is." I told myself,
The problem was, I knew what to do, but no idea just how to do it.
A/N: Did you like it? Things are starting to get more interesting! If you guys liked it, please review and tell me your thoughts/suggestions, I love seeing your reviews! Also, if you guys have a favourite ship in the Glee-verse, feel free to comment or PM that to me. I currently have a lot of story ideas that don't have characters to go with them yet. If you're a Klaine fan, check out my story First Impressions, you might like it. Okay, I think that's it. Please review, and byeeee! –Lauren's Glee Stories, :D.
