Tony toyed with the tool in his hands, twirling it around trying to figure out the strange chemistry that was occurring in the petri dish as Steve slept silently in the stool right in front of him. The blonde had clocked out two hours before after an exhaustive investigation into the complex dynamisms that were occurring in his anatomy. Tony studied the petri dish even closer, engrossed in the strange way the blood curdled as he shone UV on it.

He'd gone through a series of tests trying to see what would kill the organism [apart from the obvious: fire]. The first one had been placing minced garlic into the dish. Myth busted, as the blood neither died nor shewed any reaction that he could decipher. Next, he tried to place his own blood next to Steve's. Under the microscope, the infected blood seemed to absorb his own and start the process of self-replication. Tony then tried shining UV on the specimen and the reaction was almost immediate. So quickly did the blood begin to react, moving and dancing as if trying to escape the light, that he had to swiftly shut it off when smoke billowed from the small petri dish.

He placed the dish back under the microscope, in regular light, and noticed how it would slowly regenerate. Tony had a theory then, and tested it by pricking his finger and letting the blood fall directly on the charred remains of Steve's own. In a matter of seconds the infected specimen had regenerated and was growing larger in numbers. Tony closed the top and placed the dish into the incinerator, done with today's tests. In conclusion, Steve was allergic to the sun or at least the UV portion of it.

Duly noted.

Tony looked over to the blonde, developing another idea. If Steve was going to be like this for the foreseeable future, he should make some adjustments to the suit. Namely: UV protection. Only small portions of Steve's face showed through the leather cowl that he wore. Maybe he could convince the stubborn blonde to wear one of the metal suits he'd designed. Maybe-

But the genius was interrupted from his reverie by the sudden mumblings of the blonde.

Tony sighed trying to resume his train of thought when Steve tumbled out of his chair and into the floor with as much grace as a flopping fish. Tony jumped, rushing towards Steve's side to try and help. The blonde, however, was nonplussed about the incident and had kept sleeping, his body rigid and cold—growing paler still as the minutes progressed.

"Steve?" Tony asked, trying to slap the blonde's face lightly. Steve's eyes shot open to reveal a grey film over them. His normally blue eyes coming through muddy and opaque, as if he'd suddenly gone blind. "Steve?" Tony asked again, a bit more urgently.

"Tony? Tony, where are you? I can't see you." Steve said, his speech a bit rough and patchy as if he were trying to speak through a broken receiver.

"I'm right here, in the lab." Tony replied, pulling Steve up from the floor and guiding him to couch so he could be a bit more comfortable.

"I… I don't, how did I get back to the lab. I was-am in Dracula's castle." Steve said, looking around himself and noticing all the dead faces around him. Luckily for him, this odd conversation he was having with Tony seemed to be in his mind and the others were paying him no mind.

"He must be doing the mind control thing. Do you think you can break it?" Tony asked. If he hadn't been so freaked he'd be super intrigued. Anomalies like these didn't occur daily.

"I don't think I can, or want to. You don't understand how strong he is, do you?" Steve asked, almost sounding offended.

"Am I supposed to? He's just some vampire with delusions of grandeur." Tony said, he knew and asshole when he saw one, partly because he was one himself.

"He's my father." Steve said, looking pointedly in Tony's general direction.

"Wait, Steve, what is he saying?" Tony asked, trying to ignore the sudden dread that went through him like a cold bath.

"He's asking us the same question he did last time. Who among you is willing to part with your earthly vessel and escalate to the rank of a god?" Steve's voice had transformed for a second, growing darker, richer, raspy with age and authority. Tony figured that at that moment, he had been listening directly to Dracula.

"My children," the voice went on, "I have waited patiently, given you ample time to decide. My time is growing short and I need not explain what all this means to you if I should perish." Dracula pleaded.

"Steve, you need to snap out of it." Tony pleaded, growing more worried the longer Steve remained in this trance.

"All of you have something special to offer me, I'll take as many as are willing to give, a free-for-all of sorts."

"Steve, are you still in there?"

"All you have to do is say the words."

"God-damn it Steve, you're gonna make me do something I'll regret."

"And you will be kings, neigh, gods."

"Please forgive me."

Tony turned on the UV flashlight—he'd fetched it from the table when he couldn't get a read on the motionless blonde. Steve hissed in pain, trying to cover himself from the offending rays of the flashlight, his exposed skin almost setting aflame as Tony continued to flash the beam in his general direction.

"Are you back?" Tony asked, his hands shaking as he continued his attack on Steve to try and snap him out of it.

"Yeah, yeah, Tony stop!" Yep, that was his Steve, smoking charred skin and all.

Tony turned the flashlight off, quickly returning to Steve's side and placing his wrist for the blonde to bite. "Sorry, I didn't know what else to do. You kind of peace'd out there for a second and I could hear Dracula. I was afraid… I know you're not stupid Steve, but you started calling him father." This revelation surprised Steve, he hadn't been aware he was starting to consider Dracula as some form of patriarch.

Steve drank pensively, letting Tony's blood trickle down his throat slowly as he let his wounds heal. They sat there like that for about thirty minutes, the longest feeding session they'd had since this all begun. Because it had been so slow, Steve was full and Tony didn't feel as if he was ready to burst; he simply had that warm, pleasant feeling in his stomach.

"Since when did you become allergic to sunlight?" Tony asked after his wrist had been released.

"I don't know, but the first time I knew there was something off was that morning after the first encounter with Dream-Dracula." Steve admitted, he hated to go back to that time, it had been such a frightening affair that he'd rather just bury it in the past and forget about it.

"We need to find you a cure soon, before anymore vampiric traits start to show." Tony said. Heading over to his computer table to resume his daily research.

"I guess you're right."


"Tony, what the hell is going on?!" Natasha exclaimed as they quickly carried the super-soldier inside. Steve was charred almost to the point of unrecognition, moaning, and flailing his arms about; still smoking from certain parts. His suit had been fused with his skin and the only thing that seemed to stand out were sharp incisors that descended from his gums with each jostle from the crew. If Natasha were in her right mind, she would have sworn that you'd call those fangs.

They cleared a space on the avenge-jet table for Steve, carefully lowering him onto the smooth and uncomfortable surface. Tony was freaked, this all could have been avoided if Steve had just put on the fucking suit like he'd asked him to. But the blonde was too stubborn, too…

The giant robot army #257 had come out of nowhere (of course it came from somewhere, some rogue engineer/scientist had created them in a factory somewhere after something to do with daddy issues/corrupt government/insert your fabricated excuse here, pissed him off). The Avengers had been successful in picking them off one by one, like annoying cockroaches plaguing the city of New York. What Tony and the gang didn't realize until it was much too late, was that these robots were learning, adapting to their moves, scanning, and locating their weaknesses.

They'd still managed to disassemble and destroy the robots, but it had come with a price. One of the bastards had caught wind of Steve's distaste for a certain ball of gas in the sky and had managed to amplify its rays ten-fold, directing a beam of light so strong that it left a smoldering trail in its wake. The full force hit Steve like a bull, burning him alive and if the quick reflexes of his team-mates hadn't been there to help, he'd be a crispy chip in the middle of 5th Avenue.

Tony had been the first by Steve's side, his scanners going crazy just trying to make sure that Steve was alive underneath the blackened skin. He was.

"I…" Tony couldn't answer with the usual snark he'd refined over the years, he could only look at the blonde's only surviving features—his eyes, which shone so brightly in contrast with everything else.

Tony warred with himself as he tried to decide whether it would be a good idea to put them both under the scrutiny of their fellow comrades or wait until they'd reached the Avenger's Tower. Tony wasn't fucking heartless, of course he knew what he had to do.

Damn it.

He removed his wrist from the confines of his metal-armour and pressed the flesh against Steve's exposed teeth. The room went still, the only sounds coming from the graphic sucking from Steve's end. Tony lowered his head, an unusual display of embarrassment for the billionaire. He couldn't face his team just yet, not until Steve was safe from the precipice of death.

The ten minutes that it took for Steve to heal from the robot's attack were probably the longest ten minutes of everyone's life. No one knew what to do or say as Steve released Tony's wrist with a 'plop,' letting the thing hang from the side of the desk. Steve was breathing deeply and in quick succession as he took stock of his facilities and the fact that he wasn't dead yet. He then looked around himself, unsure of his surroundings until he locked eyes with the horrified faces of his team-mates.

Steve slowly looked at up at Tony, from his position of the table; he could tell the brunette was struggling with something, as his eyes were closed, and he seemed to have stopped breathing.

After a second of tense silence the Avenge-jet erupted into chaos.

"What the hell do you mean it just happened?"

"How long has this been going on?"

"Why didn't you tell us!"

"Guys I'm trying to explain-

"Explain! It didn't seem like you were ever going to explain anything!"

"Hey, it's not really Tony's fault-

"Cork it Steve!"

On and on they went until they arrived at the tower where the conversation could begin in earnest.

"We're supposed to be a team." Natasha accused after they'd emptied into the living room. Clint, Bruce, and Thor were flanked on her side, while Steve and Tony stood close to each other, trying to find solace in their relative nearness.

"I know, it's just that this thing wasn't supposed to last as long as it has." Steve said, feeling a bit exposed in his tattered uniform.

"And you, genius, have any words to say?" Clint said, bringing the attention to the silent metal-man. He stood there with his arms holding onto himself, as he tried to orient his thoughts enough not to retreat into the comfort of sarcasm and annoying wit.

"What even is this?" Natasha asked, interrupting anything Tony was about to say.

"I, well if it isn't that obvious, am a vampire—half-vampire! We're really not sure what is going on. I'd been bitten by Dracula and this venom kind of mixed with the Serum—

"Woah, woah, Dracula! Steve, what the hell?" Clint asked, exasperated. It couldn't ever be a simple afternoon for them, could it?

"I think it would be best if we just started from the beginning." Tony said quietly, looking anywhere but up at the moment. He wanted to quit acting so abashedly, it was completely uncharacteristic. But this thing that Steve and he did was so damn personal, and for it to be out in the open… it reminded him of the time his old butler Jarvis had caught him jacking it to old-school Captain American memorabilia. We do not speak of the time! He was young, Steve was hot, can you really blame him?

So the two culprits of this large secret explained, as best as they could (and omitting some details that seemed like something that they should keep to themselves), to their team-mates what exactly had been happening for the past couple of weeks and just what they were trying to do to fix it. The others listened intently, trying their hardest to reserve judgement until both Steve and Tony were done with their explanations.

"We are sorry that we withheld this information from you guys, but can you kinda' see where we're coming from now?" Steve asked, his voice bordering on the line of begging. He wanted the others to understand them, understand the reason (and subsequent embarrassment that was attached) why they couldn't very well have told them when it had happened.

"So, what do we do now?" Natasha asked, not fully acknowledging the apology.

"We've been trying to figure that out our ourselves." Tony asked, standing from his spot on the couch where he had been protectively hovering next to Steve (some drudge thing he tried not to question), now that the threat of harm was out the way, he could employ his brain again to try and figure out the answer to Natasha's question. "This is as much as I've come up with." Tony continued, opening a holographic display in the living room for the others to dissect at their own time.

Within the confines of his research there were held multiple theories and dead-ends that he'd tried to hammer out. His experiments were impressive and extensive, some even on the border of obsessive. "You've thought about this a lot." Bruce said as an aside. He picked up a pad from the coffee table and scrolled through some specific texts.

"I want to fix this." Tony said, a strained tone to his voice. He'd been quite careful in keeping any mention of his servitude to Steve out of the notes. It wouldn't take long for them to figure that out on their own.

"Have any of you tried contacting another vampire?" Natasha asked, scrolling down her own list of notes. "Says here there's an entire interconnected network of them. Someone ought to know something."

"I don't think anyone old enough to know the secret to unlocking this curse would take too kindly to the Avengers." Tony said, having thought about that multiple times.

"What if we force it out of them?" Thor asked, the first he's spoken in a while, pounding his hammer in his hands to emphasize his point.

"And where the hell are we supposed to find a vampire dumb enough to get captured?" Tony snapped, his tone a bit harsher than he'd wanted it to be.

"We have our ways." Natasha said seriously.

"Tony… there might be someone." Steve said, rubbing his temples with the effort to tap into the tie that connected them all. It was as if a strong block held him from going any further than a sensation.

"Humph." Tony harrumphed, skeptical of Steve's statement.

The halfling continued, ignoring Tony. "The reason I had gotten into this mess in the first place was because I was following a blood-trail from a blood-bank to Dracula—he's dying, well more-so than he already is. He had his two henchmen, Dimitri and Alex or something like that, doing all the hard labour. One of them, Dimitri, seemed to be laxer when it came to his work ethic. If we could track him down, alone, then maybe we could draw out Alex and get the answers we seek." Steve said. The other's looked at him with varying degrees of understanding.

"Do you remember what they looked like?" Natasha asked an idea budding in her mind.

"Yeah, at least one of them was Tony's doppelganger, I think it was Dimitri." Steve confessed, his cheeks going unexpectedly red. Tony narrowed his eyes at the blonde. "Why didn't you tell me about them before?" Tony asked, suddenly very interested in what Steve had to say.

"I didn't think that Dracula's henchmen were of import, at the time anyways." Steve replied, raising an eyebrow to the brunette.

"Okay guys, focus on the game-plan, we need to lure him out. Any ideas?" Natasha asked.

"I think it would be best if we retire for the night." Steve said, suddenly very tired.

"But we need to-

"I think he's right. We'll reconvene in the morning." Tony said, taking the blonde by the arm and up to the lab.

"But it's only five o'clock." Clint said, scratching his head with an arrow.


"What's wrong?" Tony asked, lowering Steve into the couch.

"I can feel the connection in my brain, but there's a wall. I think that with sufficient patience and mental training I could break it down, but there's not enough time for that." Steve admitted, "besides, it's physically straining. I tried reaching for it, but was pushed out of my own brain each time."

"Here." Tony said, pushing his wrist to Steve's mouth. "I'm not hungry." The blonde replied, leaning his head against the cushions, "just tired." He continued after a moment's thought.

Tony stood to remove his armour and scooted close to Steve on the couch, he placed his head on the blonde's lap, toying with the shredded parts of his tattered uniform. "Will you listen to me now?" Tony asked, an unexpected emotion taking control of his tear-ducts.

"Tony-

"No, it's fine, I get it. It was sudden and a bit unprecedented, but Steve… we could have lost you today." Tony interrupted. I could have lost you.

"I don't need a lecture." Steve said tiredly, closing his eyes against his better judgement. The brunette looked up from his position, his jaw set. He was about to retort, but seeing the blonde so bedraggled killed most of his steam.

Tony brought himself to hug Steve. For the last few weeks they've slept in different beds, Steve had been insistent on that, even after Tony had forgiven him. He didn't want a repeat of that morning; enough he was losing this battle with the venom, he didn't want to start a body count. They hadn't been closer than a kiss, the intent was always fully present, but neither of them were ready to take the leap. This was foreign to Tony, the waiting thing. He was so used to getting his way in any shape or form, to have the roles reversed left him a bit vulnerable.

He didn't like that feeling.

Steve snaked his lethargic arms around the billionaire, bringing him closer still. "You smell wonderful." Steve commented, unable to keep the saliva from collecting in his mouth. He still wasn't hungry, he'd had enough in the Avenge-jet and his tired state left him aching for his bed not his food, but he'd be lying if he said he didn't want to dig in.

"Nice to know." Tony said sarcastically, nuzzling his chin into the crook of Steve's neck.

"I'm sorry." Steve said, kissing the nape of Tony's neck letting his lips linger there for a couple of seconds and savour the feeling. Tony tensed (unable to keep himself from doing so) with anticipation and a dash of apprehension, but the bite never came. Instead, the blonde molded his lips around the curves of Tony's bearded jaw, as if memorizing them.

The brunette anticipated the kiss, dipping his head, and tilting it to give Steve better access to his mouth. It was slow and languid; the liveliness of the day's battle having drained their energy reserves. Tony straddled the blonde, pulling them closer still, wanting nothing more but to feel the rest of Steve's body against his own.

The blonde sighed into the kiss, his heart accelerating ever so slightly. Tony pushed his tongue against Steve's lips, gently asking for permission to be let in. The halfling acquiesced, humming with appreciation as that expert muscle maneuvered its way inside his mouth.

Without his consent, Tony's hips had started grinding into Steve's, ever so slightly. Tony's breath hitched, letting out an embarrassing sound as it did so. "Tony." Steve said, his voice wavering a bit as Tony separated from his lips, pursuing other fun endeavours. As he lavished the blonde's neck with his own saliva, scraping his teeth against that skin (kind of giving Steve a taste of his own medicine), the blonde called his name again, this time a bit more serious.

"Hmm, what is it?" Tony said, momentarily pausing his ministrations.

"I think I know how we could find other vampires." Steve confessed. Tony retracted himself from his position, sitting up on his backside to look Steve straight in the eye, an incredulous expression on his face.

"What, you mean now? Are you serious?" Tony asked the blonde.

"Did you want me to keep it to myself?" Steve asked matter-of-factly.

"You are serious. Christ, you really know how to ruin a moment." Tony said, shaking his head. He sighed and rubbed his hands across his face to disperse the blush that had developed across his cheeks as they'd made out. It took a second for it to click in Steve's mind what he'd just done, but by then it was too late to rectify it, and Tony had already extracted himself from his lap walking over to the large console. "Damn it." They both said in one way or the other.

"Okay, lay it on me, what do you have?" Tony asked, turning around to face Steve.

"We're all connected to Dracula in some shape or form. I think the venom in our blood ties us to him, like an individual name-tag." Steve said, standing up himself to amble next to Tony, inwardly lamenting their missed opportunity and cursing his mission-driven mind.

"You think we could track other vampires with your blood?" Tony asked, the gears spinning quickly in his brain.

"Think it's possible?" Steve asked, a small glimmer of hope developing in his chest at the prospect.

"I," Tony was about to say he didn't know, but you'd never catch him dead admitting that, "maybe, but I'll need to think of a way to do that." Tony said instead.

"Okay, while you do that I'll be taking a shower." Steve said, exiting the room.

ooOOoo

"Bruce, I think we've done it." Tony said as he looked at the make-shift tracker gun. It had taken a couple of hours to construct and a brain as smart as his to design it.

"You think so?" Bruce replied, taking the contraption from Tony's hands and giving it a go. Currently there was one faint dot on the screen, but if they increased the radius, more and more green dots appeared on the radar.

"I know so." Tony reassured, patting the scientist on the back.

After Steve had returned from his shower he'd found Tony merging thoughts with Bruce on just exactly how they were going to go about building this thing. Steve had had an excellent thought, but no way of executing it. That's where they came in. Tony had proposed that vampires may have a unique signature (like gamma rays) that they emitted. Who better to call than the one man who was an expert at this sort of stuff?

They labored over the design and math behind the tracker, repeatedly sampling Steve's blood until he felt like a pin cushion. Finally, they held a prototype in their hands that seemed to work as required.

Now it was only a matter of time before they'd finish this.


"I'm going out." Dimitri said, finally exasperated from doing nothing but hiding for the past two months.

"What?" Alexandru asked dumbfounded. How could his husband even think of leaving at a time like this?

"I think you heard what I said." Dimitri retorted, picking up his jacket and keys. He looked around himself in search of his shaded glasses which dulled his bright-red yes to a muddy brown.

"And where exactly do you think you're going? We have to tend to Dracula." Alexandru said, standing up to steady his husband and look him in the eye. "Or did you forget."

"I'm going out to eat." Dimitri clarified, shrugging the other vampire off.

"We have plenty of blood in the fridge." Alexandru reminded, snatching the glasses from the confines of their case before Dimitri could. The shorter man sighed, crossing his arms, and kissing his teeth.

"I don't know about you, darling, but I don't consider blood that's been donated a year ago as a full course meal. My teeth are aching to dig into something fleshy and alive. If you want to stay here and be Dracula's lap dog, be my fucking guest." Dimitri said, his gums already aching at the thought of puncturing an arterial blood-vessel, or two.

"But-

"Let him go Alexandru, if the vampire wants to have a feast you should let him." A darker, more ancient voice drifted between them like a murky cloud, making them both turn around. Dracula stood by the threshold of the door, carrying himself with the dignity of a king even if his surroundings were less than exemplary.

"Exactly." Dimitri said, taking back the glasses from his unsuspecting husband's hands. "Bring me back someone won't you little one." Dracula said as an after-thought.

"Of course, any preference?" Dimitri asked, donning his jacket, and slipping on his shoes.

"Not really, just make sure they're not on any medication; the bitter after-taste leaves much to be desired." Dracula said.

"Of course, I'll see you guys soon." Dimitri said, leaning up to give his husband a kiss. Alexandru turned his head to the side, not really in the mood to indulge him. Dimitri sighed, rolling his eyes. Even with the Drac's 'okay,' his husband had a stick up his ass.

The vampire walked along the shadows, looking for any bar or club that had loud music, a dark interior, and plenty of people willing to follow a handsome stranger home.

After finding a locale which suited all three of those descriptions, he worked on getting himself situated into the crowd. Dimitri felt in his element here, grinding into the willing bodies, and scoping out his own victim.

"Hey." Dimitri looked down to the voice that had spoken to him. He smiled at the handsome figure below. His enhanced vision scouted his features, blonde hair, blue eyes; he took a deep breath and tried to isolate the stranger's blood type. Mmm, his favorite: AB-Negative!

His mouth filled with venom and he tried hard to keep his fangs from bursting through. Alexandru was only able to secure O-Positive, ugh so boring and bland. He smiled at the man, who had been eyeing him as well.

"Hello."

"You don't mind if I dance near you, do you?" The stranger asked, taking a bit of a liberty and stroking his jaw. Having that tiny finger so close to his nostrils made it harder to contain himself (and maybe his next prey being so willing was also playing into something else that we will not be getting into [no it is not about Alex, where could you have ever gotten that idea from?]).

"No, of course not." Dimitri replied.

"Great."

It didn't take long before they were both gyrating against each other in tandem with the music. The deep thrums of the bass had them hypnotized to the rhythm. The smaller man turned around and pushed himself against Dimitri, grinding a bit provocatively. The vampire shuddered a bit when the blonde wrapped his arms around his head and shoved his face into the crook of his neck.

Dimitri panted slightly, his fangs pushing against his lips with a vengeance.

The stranger turned around suddenly, smiling coyly. "Struggling there?" He asked, looking down suggestively. Okay, so maybe his fangs weren't the only thing pushing against a barrier.

Dimitri had the decency to blush, even if the blonde couldn't see it in the low light.

"Would you like to take this outside?" he asked next. Hey, that's his line! But all Dimitri could do was nod dumbly. When had the tables turned?

They now found themselves in an alley-way, their lips colliding harshly. For once, Dimitri wasn't thinking about feeding himself, but rather something more primal than hunger itself.

"You know, you should really pay more attention to your surroundings." The blonde said, stilling the vampire's hands as they roamed along his body.

"Wha-?" Dimitri asked stupidly, he was breathing heavily, no longer worried about his fangs showing as his eyebrows came together to form a confused knot.

"I mean, that when a trap is this obvious, you should have seen it coming." The blonde replied shrugging his shoulders. Dimitri still didn't understand until a bright light shown from above, burning his skin with its intensity. A large cage then dropped, successfully incarcerating him. The light was dimmed down, high enough to keep him from trying to escape, but low enough to stop the burning. "Besides, aren't you married? I don't think your husband would be too pleased with finding out you've been making out with me."

"Alright Clint, stop mocking the vampire." Tony said from above, his repulsor hand the source of the UV ray.

"What, you didn't have to do this, you know, seducing thing." Clint retorted.

"Hey, you volunteered." Tony replied, grabbing the cage, and pulling it to the Avenge-Jet. Clint hung onto one of the metal bars and looked at Dimitri who was holding his wounded face and baring his fangs.

"You know, for the little time we were playing this game, I had fun." Clint said a bit apologetically.

Dimitri narrowed his eyes and growled. "Okay, touchy." Clint said.

"Don't mock the vampire Clint." Tony repeated a bit more serious, as they boarded the Avenge-Jet. Natasha closed the cargo door once they were secure.

Tony turned off his repulsor as soon as he activated the cage's self-defense mechanisms. Tony took a closer look at Dimitri. Even with his slightly charred skin Tony could see what Steve meant. He still said, "We don't look that alike."

Dimitri raised a confused eyebrow, but Tony didn't feel like indulging the other male's curiosity.

"You do a little." Clint said from his place on the chair.

"Oh hush, I do not." Tony said, lowering his face-plate to look closer at himself in a mirror.

"If we were to make a movie, we'd have to hire the same actor to play the both of you." Clint retorted.

"That's just a bit extreme." Tony said, his resolve slowly crumbling as he looked at the man in the cage. Tony got nearer the cage, looking him in the eye. Tony sighed and moved to the console as they approached the tower.

"It doesn't even matter now, we're here." Tony said, returning his face-plate to its original position and heaving the large metal cell from the ship. "And even if it did, I'm better looking." Tony mumbled to himself.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night." Natasha retorted, listening in through the coms.

Tony rolled his eyes, trying his hardest to keep from saying something even more incriminating about his fractured ego.


A/N: At least I didn't make you wait 2 years for an update! Progress!