The night air is uncharacteristically cool on his heated skin, his gaze glazed over as he recalls the moments he has spent with Deidara, in this life and the last. They overlap, covering a timespan that cannot be realistic or true. But it is. It manages to defy all laws and exist within the mysterious workings of his mind, flowing endlessly within his mess of memories.

He is once again reminded that he shouldn't attempt to understand the concept of time. It folds into itself, moving through itself, bending into itself, connecting with itself in non-linear ways...

He rubs his eyes harshly to get rid of the tears with his left hand as he continues to dash out of the apartment complex, ignoring the gazes that other people throw at him for running in his school uniform.

The next time he blinks, however, he finds himself standing in the middle of a clearing.

Obito twirls around in confusion, blinking rapidly in hopes of dispelling the trick his mind is playing on him. However, he does not have such luck.

"Damn it," he mutters underneath his breath, his aggression beginning to burn him from the inside. "Am I dreaming or not?"

There is a gust of wind blowing through the clearing and it sends the grass bowing, a rippling effect coming straight at him. He slows down for a moment, taking in the scene and realizing that this is very, very real. For a second, he feels his heart rate slow and a sense of calm washes over him.

But then, it's hard to calm down completely when he suddenly realizes there's something in front of his face.

He raises a hand to see what it is, but when he does he notices immediately that he's wearing gloves. It soon dawns on him that he's not wearing his school uniform anymore.

He's wearing that strange outfit with the cloud design.

He's in his dream.

Or has he finally woken up?

He blinks in confusion at the thought, but it quickly fades from his mind when he hears a set of footsteps behind him, keenly aware of how he's extremely sensitive to the sound, considering the fact that it's stepping on the damp grass. He turns his head a fraction to catch a figure with long blonde hair walking away from him.

For a few moments, his mind remains blank. However, the blanket is soon lifted and flutters away from his thoughts, and there's only one thing that comes to mind.

Deidara.

As though he is dying of thirst and that Deidara is a mighty glass of water, he begins to tread through the sea of grass, in a desperate effort of following his lifeline.

Why? Why is he so desperate?

His feet feel heavier and heavier with every step he takes and eventually, he loses sight of Deidara. He stops at the edge of the forest and tries to peer into the thickets, seeing nothing but trees. There is a more logical voice that speaks to him within his mind. It says, reasonably, that he would have a better chance of seeing him if he is up clearing, with nothing else obstructing his view, so it would be a bad idea to head inside.

But somehow, the more that voice tries to reason with him, the more he wants to enter the forest. After what feels like years of contemplating, he finally steps through into the forest and he feels as though he is extremely familiar with the environment, even though he has never seen a forest before.

He allows his legs to expertly carry him through the woods, only ever stepping in the wrong places when he focuses on where he actually is. He distracts himself by looking at the scenery, trying to peer between trunks to see if he could catch a glimpse of golden hair.

There's nothing to see but miles and miles of trees. Obito swallows the saliva that's been gathering at his mouth. He stops suddenly, even though he isn't sure why. He stops at the edge of a river, the trickling noise a constant buzz in his mind that he welcomes. At least that distracts him from the overwhelming feeling that surrounds him.

A snort sounds beside him and Obito starts, immediately turning to find Deidara standing right next to him, arms relaxed at his sides. He's wearing the same outfit he's wearing, he supposes. The same black cloak adorned with red clouds that are trimmed with white. He even has his hair tied up in a slightly impractical fashion and holds his hair tight with a headband that sports a funny logo on it.

He seems relaxed. He wonders idly how wonderful it must be to be unburdened by events that are simultaneously happening across two lifetimes.

"Deidara-" Tobi tries to say, but Deidara shushes him before he could even finish the sentence, shooting him a glare that stops him dead at his tracks, even though he isn't even walking. His jaw audibly snaps shut.

Deidara seems to be pleased with his display of obedience and gestures to the river. At first, Obito could only hear the sound of the water rushing over the pebbles, unsure what he's listening for, but as he stares at their rippling reflections, it turns into a soothing voice that hushes the flashing images in his mind.

He blinks and continues to stare, watching his orange swirled mask and tries not to feel unnerved at the dead and seemingly soulless eye-hole that provides to be the sole provider of sight for him. He wonders how he's seeing so perfectly well with just one eye, and he wonders why he's hiding his face. He wonders of many seemingly trivial things and his mind provides him with answers that he didn't even know he knew again and again.

Eventually, he forgets that he's staring at the water. He forgets that he's listening to its course and forgets that Deidara stands next to him. He's living and reliving his entire life over again. Every single mistake and achievement and pain he's made, done and experienced comes back to him. He stands, overwhelmed by everything, gaping at space.

He jumps once more when he hears Deidara speak.

"I'm not mad, you know, hm," Deidara says with a sigh, speaking slowly as he opts to stare at Tobi's reflection, rather than turning to face Obito.

"What?" Obito asks before he could even stop himself, thinking that he should know what Deidara is saying. He feels like a fake. He feels odd in his own skin and he feels too tall, too strong, too alert. Unconsciously, he picks at the thin layer of his gloves.

"For running away, yeah," Deidara clarifies after a heartbeat. Obito suspects that he hesitated because he's aware of the oddness of the question. "I just... I felt hurt."

Obito has no idea what he's talking about, unable to catch up with the conversation due to the lack of context clues, but his mind helpfully supplies him with "not like him," and "hurt because of what?"

"You're hurt because-" Obito tries to speak once more, to at least sound like he has some sense of the situation, but once again, Deidara cuts him off and refuses to let him speak.

"No," Deidara says firmly, turning his head quickly to face him. He speaks as though he already knows what Obito would say if he allows him to continue, even though Obito doesn't even know how he's going to finish that sentence. His mind seems to know that he doesn't need to worry about it. "It's not what you think, yeah."

He takes a shaky breath and speaks up once more. Obito pretends not to notice the way Deidara is clenching his fists to hide the fact that they're shaking.

"It's just that... after everything, yeah, I thought you trusted me," he sighs. "I guess you don't trust me enough to tell me immediately."

Something about that makes Obito feel slightly annoyed. He turns his head a fraction as he gets ready to speak up but once more, Deidara interrupts him.

"No, I get why you didn't, hm," Deidara says as Obito stares at him with a bored expression, wondering what he's gaining from this extremely one-sided conversation. He doesn't even need to be here if Deidara is going to have this conversation by himself. Why is he even here listening to this? Why is he here? He needs to be back in the real world, where he can find his Deidara and talk to him instead.

It feels like he's playing a video game, watching everything unfold without knowing the full background of the story because he skipped all the dialogue that led up to this cutscene.

"I can say harsh things, yeah," Deidara mutters under his breath, as though he's mocking someone, but Obito is pretty sure he's never said that before. "Just... I feel like it should be mentioned before everything, before us."

Obito blinks, hoping for a moment that he's making up the lines that are connecting all the dots. When Deidara turns and stares at him with those bright blue eyes, he realizes that he's not and he panics.

"You know?" Deidara asks, obviously hoping Tobi would say something back to him now. Obito doesn't know what to say as he continues to stare at that face. He looks like his Deidara, but he looks much more experienced and hardened, in a drastically different way than his Deidara is. He doesn't know if he likes it or not.

Then his expression shifts. His eyebrows furrow and something in his eyes change. It hardens and those bright eyes dim as they narrow, staring straight at his eye-hole - straight into his eye.

There are multiple things that Obito feels. Deidara's change in demeanor banishes the soothing effect of the sound of the river and the images are back again, a thousand voices whisper in his ear to tell him a story that he suddenly already knows. Those odd lingering glances that his Deidara gives him, the awkward pauses, the unknown expression that he sports.

The next time the Deidara in front of him speaks, he's no longer talking about the matter he's dealing with his Obito.

"You know."

Obito gasps and everything rushes past him. it feels like he's falling through the floor and his entire body jerks backward, infinitely falling and unable to stop. He keeps falling and falling and then it feels as though someone has punched him in the gut and he's lost his breath. He stumbles from his steady gait and leans against the back wall of some building.

He turns around frantically and he finds himself in a back alley. The many cracks within the spiderweb of the city that those who aren't the most friendly of characters would use to transverse the land.

There is a wretched smell in the air that catches Obito completely by surprise. He coughs and covers his mouth to defend against the offending scent, continuing down the path he isn't even aware that he is heading down. He just hopes that wherever his vision took him, it's the right place to go.

It takes him a while before he breaks free from the endless alleyway, stepping back out into the open street that sits at the back of the city, unused to the sight of people walking about.

He stands at the side for a while, unsure where he should head next. He turns this way and that, looking down the path and sensing no other form of life. Obito wonders if he has wandered down the wrong path.

The sound of water stops his thoughts in their tracks.

He turns his head toward the direction of the sound.

Even though he's in the dark, with the closest street lamp stationed on the main street behind him, he suddenly recognizes the scenery around him.

It's not pretty. Unlike what social media paints, artificial riverbanks are not as idyllic as one would think - or at least, not this one. The slope is simply a steep slab of concrete, void of any plant life, and the sidewalks at the top and bottom aren't really that well maintained. He sees a flash of gold at the bottom of rickety stairs that are embedded within the concrete slope and he begins to head toward it.

Without light, it is rather daunting to walk down stairs. Yet Obito feels as though he is invincible, filled with some sort of strength that seems to be out of this world. Unnatural. Supernatural.

The feeling dissipates as he reaches the end of the steps, when all he could see is Deidara, sitting alone by the riverbank. He approaches him slowly, keeping his footsteps light as though he is trying to get close to a startled deer. He knows that Deidara has sensed his presence - there is no one else around anyway - but he would still rather be careful.

Deidara is unpredictable and spontaneous, just like his art.

Obito supposes that you'd take on the traits of the thing you love after you spend so much time with it.

He stops by his side, watching Deidara with a soft expression on his face. Deidara hasn't moved to look up at him yet - in fact, he hasn't moved at all, simply staring down at the slow-moving water of the artificial riverbank. He clears his throat to formally announce his presence and moves to sit down next to him, uncaring of the cold concrete seeping through his thick winter pants.

They sit together for a while. Obito could feel the tension between them, so thick that he could touch it if he would reach out. He doesn't know how Deidara feels, doesn't know if Deidara even cares that he's here. He merely looks. He stares at the water and watches the lights that reflect on its surface.

"Hey."

Neither of them moves.

Obito tries to watch Deidara through the corner of his eyes. He's still staring at the fucking water.

He sighs and watches the water, trying to see what's so interesting.

There is a slight breeze in the air that ripples the water and distorts their reflections. With each ripple, Obito realizes that their reflections switch from normal to supernatural. The black of their school uniform turns into a cloak and then back again. Obito's face is covered and uncovered again.

Deidara wears a headband, and he doesn't again.

Obito grunts, and the water calms.

Deidara finally turns to him, eyes filled with an emotion that Obito does not understand.

He doesn't even know what to say, other than, "you knew."

"Yes," Deidara replies. Curt, emotionless. Or is it filled with too much emotion?

Like when you were a child, you decided to mix every single color in the box of paint that you got for Christmas or for your birthday, and ending up with just a big goop of gray. It's everything, but at the same time, it's nothing.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Why didn't you tell me, yeah?"

Obito blinks, then he frowns. The answer is so obvious. "Because I didn't want you to think that I was crazy! It's creepy enough that I wanted to be your friend because I saw you in my dreams."

"Exactly, hm," Deidara turns away. He sighs dramatically, running his hand through his hair and fixing his bang even though it doesn't need to be fixed. "I thought it was just my imagination, making shit up like that. Then you showed up, hm, stepped right out of my mind. It was really, really weird, yeah."

He presses his mouth into a thin line, realizing the hypocrisy of his words. Right, of course. If he had thought that Deidara would think he's crazy, then Deidara would have thought the same. Neither of them knew that the other experienced the same thing.

"Sorry," Obito tries, still watching Deidara. Even though it's obvious that he should apologize, he isn't necessarily too sure of what he's apologizing for.

Deidara doesn't say anything, staring at the water as though he's not sure if he's even real. "It's fine," he says eventually, though his reply is so quiet that Obito would have missed it if he isn't listening out for it. "I'm..."

He sighs once more, shifting his weight from one side to another as he tries to look at everything except for Obito. "I'm not mad, you know, hm," he continues to say, and Obito has an odd feeling of déjà vu. "So, sorry for running away and leaving you alone, hm."

Obito doesn't reply, staring expectantly at Deidara. He watches as Deidara bites his lip, then seemingly sags in defeat. "I just... I thought that there was something else between us, yeah. And I thought that you trusted me enough to tell me about it. I guess you didn't, hm."

He turns back to the water. This sounds awfully familiar. He doesn't know what to say because deep down, Obito does have an inkling of distrust. After everything back home, he didn't think he'd ever get close to someone again. To date, other than his grandparents, Obito thinks that Deidara is the only one who he lets to be this close to him.

Jozetsu doesn't count, of course, that dolt would follow anyone who thinks they have at least half a brain. No one can really be friends with Jozetsu with Dokuzetsu around.

As his mind begins to wander off track wildly, he recalls something that Deidara had said before. "That night, when you were drunk-"

"I was not drunk, hm!"

"When you were drunk," Obito continues as though Deidara has not said anything at all. "You mentioned this - this whole thing."

Deidara looks away, his lower lip tucked underneath his teeth. "I suppose I did, hm."

"So you decided to just ignore that you said it?"

"You didn't confirm, yeah," Deidara scoffs, "am I supposed to make a fool out of myself and pretend that you completely understood, hm?"

"I wasn't being very convincing," Obito says, turning away. He puts his hands together, squeezing them. He doesn't think he was convincing. He was lying to himself, mostly, and that was what got to him. He didn't think that Deidara would be convinced if he wasn't convinced.

"But you were very convincing in other areas," Deidara says. Obito does not like his tone. "Regardless, hm, I feel like I was inclined to believe you. The alcohol did do most of the talking, after all, yeah."

"Wasn't there an article about how alcohol makes a person more truthful?"

He thinks that Deidara is staring at him. The weight of his gaze is heavy. The air is heavy with a different kind of tension, the shift causing the hair on the back of his hair to rise and his blood to boil.

"At least I told you what I felt, hm," Deidara says. "I heard no peep from you."

"You saw me, that is enough, isn't it?"

"Not nearly, yeah."

"You're being very selfish," Obito says, though strangely he finds himself carefully speaking, his blood coursing at a steady rate. "It is your choice to reveal everything to me, and it is mine to keep some undesirables hidden."

Deidara stops talking. Obito has a feeling that this didn't originally happen. His heart stops racing and the tension in the air melts away like butter in a heated frying pan. An image flashes before his eyes and he sees Deidara walking away from him, stomping his feet on the grassy floor of the forest. A ringing sounds in his ears and he feels like Deidara had been shouting.

As it goes.

Obito reaches out and places his hand on Deidara's, feeling his trembling and his tenseness. "I'm sorry," Tobi says. "Some things aren't meant to be discussed so early on, no matter how well we click."

Deidara turns his head away a fraction and Tobi scoots in a little closer, wanting to be heard. "You're not exactly a secretive person. Anything anyone needs to know is written plain on your face. Plus, everyone at school talks about it like it's their business, too, so I think it's rather hard not to know about you."

"You didn't know about me, hm." Deidara tries to twist his hand away but Obito tightens his grip.

"I wasn't awake," Obito merely says. "After I woke up, I feel like the past eighteen years of my life I had spent in a dream. Hazy. Memories came back to me only when I questioned. It feels like everything is fabricated just so I don't lose my mind and I accepted it because it's easier that way."

"That's not how I felt," Deidara's eyebrows are furrowing and even in the dark light, he could see it.

"It's not how I feel now. I feel like I am me again, except I know who I am."

"And that is?"

"Tobi."

Deidara is laughing for some reason, shaking his head. "You're not Tobi, you're Obito."

During that sentence, Deidara finally turns to face him.

They've spent years, if not eons, with their souls weaving into each other, like string, as one.

They are time.

Obito doesn't answer. He doesn't need to. Once he catches Deidara's gaze, there's nothing that needs to be said that isn't conveyed through their eye contact. He reaches up and slides a hand against his neck. He could sense Deidara shiver at the slight coldness of his hand, and before he could even complain about the feeling, Obito quickly leans forward.

He's pretty sure neither of them has kissed another person before.

The moment his lips made contact with Deidara's, it feels like he's falling again.

He's falling through space, melting once more with time. Various images flash before his eyes - and even though he's not sure, he thinks that Deidara is experiencing the same thing. At once, he's kissing the battle-hardened terrorist who used to live off of being hired to kill people, and he's also kissing the barely adult artist who enjoyed performance art and derived multiple meanings from plays that would gawp at even the slightest whisper of homosexuality.

He's kissing all of him.

They part after two lifetimes, heads still so close together they breathe the same air.

"Obito," Deidara breathes out beneath his breath and Obito feels scared. He feels trapped, forced up against the wall and he doesn't know if he should trust anyone anymore. He feels his heart tighten and release so rapidly that his chest makes him feel like he's suffocating.

"I thought you were straight, hm," Deidara mutters. Obito frowns, unsure where the question came from. Deidara seems to sense his confusion and speaks quickly to clarify himself. "Rin."

Obito's frown deepens, his eyes hardening. "How did you know about Rin?"

Deidara shrugs, "you talk in your sleep, yeah. Tried to wake you but it didn't work." Tobi accepts this.

Then Deidara huffs and turns his head and their noses make contact. Deidara squeaks and quickly moves away. "Cold, hm," he complains, and whatever Obito feels is obsolete and there's only now.

He feels a thousand years younger but filled with twice as much experience. "That's why we should head in," Tobi says, sliding his hand from Deidara's neck to his left arm, rubbing it gently. "How about we go back to your place?"

Deidara scoffs but allows himself to be pulled up by Obito and the two of them head toward the concrete stairs, leaving the riverbank behind them.

They are here for a reason. A second chance, a new beginning. It really doesn't matter as long as they have each other to lean on. Whatever path they will take will be carved by their own hands.

And this time, they'll finish their story.


Hey guys, Red here!

And so it's done.

First thing's first, this is the first multi-chaptered fanfiction that I have ever, ever, finished. A continuous story that doesn't end within - or less than - 20,000 words. Something new for me, definitely. Never thought I could do it because I have a terrible habit of abandoning things that I start on a whim and then begin other things. I also cannot stay focused long enough to finish something in one sitting. I stray and stray and stray. A bad habit, for sure, but something I can't seem to shake. For me to finish this is a miracle. I am extremely proud of it, even if I will look back on this in less than ten years and cringe.

Anyway, reining myself back before I digress any further - this is a shorter chapter compared to the rest of it because it was meant to continue directly from Chapter 4, but I thought Chapter 4 was too long already so I cut it off. As I said, originally, this story was supposed to only have three chapters.

Now, about the writing style of this chapter:
I had about two paragraphs written for it before I even finished Chapter 3. I had the rough outline and throughout the entirety of Chapter 4, I still only had two bullet points as my guide for the chapter. Since it's such a long time, I obviously have experienced different things - especially now that I'm studying purely writing.

I wrote the beginning as I would normally. When they meet at the artificial riverbank, I had adopted the style of dialogue-heavy writing. I tried to fix it by adding more description as to what they were doing, but I simply couldn't come up with much. As a lecturer said in a seminar, if the character doesn't speak to you, there is absolutely nothing you could do to make them talk. I don't see them do anything but sit and talk. This is about sitting and talking - communicating. I didn't find the need to keep mentioning that they're sitting - and talking.

As I begin to describe their actions, I kept in mind a style relating to The New Journalism and Dirty Realism (a sort of mix, but also not quite. I'm sure I've used plenty of adjectives and adverbs in there.) Hence why the sentences seem court and straight to the point. I did not write their actions if they are not important or if they don't add anything to the narrative. Halfway, it turned into a sketch of Obito - and Obito's sketch of Deidara.

I'm completely aware of the fact that I did not really do a good job on the whole 'you should read this closely!' but I hope you at least understand. Close text analysis isn't something everyone likes doing. I certainly don't, so I wanted to spell things out clearly to help people out, even though you are under no obligation to analysis this fanfiction closely. For Pete's sake, it's a fanfiction. I'm certainly going way over my head, here.

That said, I find myself completely clueless about time and the plot of this story is probably way too fucking thick for its own good. I kept it simple, focusing the narrative on the relationship between Obito and Deidara - failing horribly at the whole 'show, don't tell' thing, instead of really giving the whole time thing an explanation. That is a conscious choice because I don't want to. It gives me a headache because I don't even know how time works.

To conclude, I won't fuck with time ever again. (Ironically, an assignment for my course has an option for me to write about how 'time does not exist.' Guess what I'm not doing?)

Thanks for sticking around for this shit-show, dear reader. You deserve a cookie, or five.

Toodles,
-redskiez:)