A/N: Previously, on ASK: Kurt has been paired with McKinley badboy Blaine Anderson on a school project. Blaine has his own project in the works, too - teaching Kurt about kissing, which he intends to do without actually kissing him. How, you ask? Well, Blaine just arrived at Kurt's door, so I think you're about to find out...
"Uh, Blaine? What are you doing here?" Kurt asked, still standing by the open door.
Blaine spun around dramatically, feigning surprise. "Don't tell me you forgot!" he exclaimed, clutching his hand to his heart. Sighing, he walked back to Kurt and gently removed his hand from the door, closing it for him. "Our lit project, gorgeous. You said we needed to start working on it every other Saturday, beginning today." He reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone, opening the calendar feature and shoving it in Kurt's face. "You made me put it on my calendar so I wouldn't, and I quote 'flake out' on you."
Kurt closed his eyes and groaned in frustration. How had he forgotten?
"Could we maybe do this next week?" he tried weakly.
Blaine took his arm and began leading him away from the door. "Nope," he countered, popping the 'p' loudly. "I dragged my fine ass all the way over here at this horrific hour on a Saturday because of your schedule. You wouldn't make me go all the way back home now, would you?" he implored, batting his eyelashes.
Kurt tried really hard not to stare at those eyelashes, by the way.
"Fine," he huffed, heading for the stairs. "My stuff is upstairs. I'll just go get it and bring it…"
"No need for that," Blaine interrupted, following him. Kurt stopped on the second step and turned to face Blaine. "Well," Blaine offered, not allowing Kurt to object, "if your stuff is upstairs, isn't that the best place to work? Unless," he continued, climbing up to the same step and Kurt and crowding him a little, "you're afraid to have me in your room. Alone."
"As if," Kurt retorted. The two stared at each other, Blaine finally reading Kurt's unspoken message and moving away. "If I have to endure this, I'm not doing it without my coffee," he grumbled, stomping to the kitchen. Blaine waited patiently on the stair, smiling broadly when Kurt returned with two cups of coffee and his bagel on a tray. (He was nothing if not a proper host.) Blaine took his cup and thanked Kurt with a wink, earning a groan from the other boy.
"Follow me," Kurt sighed, starting up the stairs. He ignored Blaine's murmured, "With pleasure," and tried not to think about the view Blaine had as they ascended.
Upon entering the bedroom, Kurt walked over to the desk and began clearing a space for the two of them to work. Blaine, on the other hand, went straight for the bed. He dropped his bag onto the floor and plopped himself on the edge of the queen-sized bed, bouncing up and down a few times as if testing it out. "Comfy," he declared with a grin.
"What are you doing?" Kurt demanded, the annoyance practically dripping from his voice.
"What?" Blaine replied innocently. "There isn't enough room for both of us at that teeny, tiny little desk of yours. There's lots of room over here," he suggested, patting the bedspread with his hand. Kurt crossed his arms resolutely, refusing to move. Blaine relented, dropping the smarmy attitude and sighing. "Honestly, there isn't much space for us, our laptops, and our books over there. We can spread out on the bed easier. Just get over here so we can get started, okay?"
Kurt took a beat and, letting out a final, frustrated breath, snatched his laptop and books from the desk and moved over to the bed. He told the voice inside him to shut up when it started freaking out that a cute boy was on his bed. Wait, cute? When did that happen? No, Kurt. No. Homework.
He made sure to sit as far from Blaine as possible. Begrudgingly, he noted that being on the bed did give them more room to work. Plus, it was more comfortable. He'd eat his own arm before admitting that to Blaine, of course.
A couple of rather productive hours later, Blaine slapped his computer closed. "That's it. I cannot be expected to spend any more of my Saturday on this," he proclaimed, falling backwards to lie sideways across the bed.
Kurt shook his head, the tiniest bit of a smile pulling at the corner of his mouth. They really had gotten a lot more done that he'd expected, and he was happy to call it quits, too. He shut down his own computer and glanced over at Blaine, who had rolled onto his side and was now facing him, his head propped up on one hand. "So, did you give my offer any more thought?"
"What offer?" Kurt played dumb while internally panicking.
"My little extra-curricular class, of course," he answered, wiggling his eyebrows.
"Oh, my god. You can't be seriously bringing that up again," Kurt complained.
"Hey, I'm only trying to help you out, beautiful. Pay it forward and all that, right?"
"So your idea of paying it forward is to try to manipulate me into kissing you by pretending to be some type of expert sharing his knowledge? Classy."
Blaine sat up, an expression on his face that was completely unfamiliar to Kurt. Was that…was Blaine offended by Kurt's accusation?
"Look," he explained, clearing his throat and softening his voice subtly. "I promise I'm not trying to be a jerk. I know, it's hard to believe that." He paused, seemingly gathering his thoughts and choosing his words. "I saw how you were watching that ox and his girlfriend at school, and I heard how upset you were about…about not knowing what to do. I know how you like to be…prepared for things," he said, waving his hand towards the array of books strewn across the bed. "One of these days, you're going to want to kiss someone, and you'll feel better about it if you know what to expect. I'm simply offering to help you with that. Again, it will be totally academic. No tricks. No manipulation."
Kurt eyed him warily. In spite of himself, he had spent a significant amount of time tossing and turning the night before. He had convinced himself that Blaine had been kidding about the whole thing, and telling himself that even if he had not, there was no way Kurt would ever agree to it.
It was troubling, then, when he found himself staring across the bed at Blaine, who was eyeing him expectantly.
"You know, I could easily look all this up on the internet and save us both the aggravation," Kurt argued. That's good, he thought. Deflect, deflect, deflect.
"You could, but you won't," Blaine volleyed back immediately. "You haven't so far, or you wouldn't be sitting here right now trying to convince me that you don't want to do this even though you do." His trademark smug expression had returned. He'd caught Kurt, and he knew it.
Kurt stared at Blaine, stumped into silence. This was bad. This was very, very bad. Nothing good could come of this. He should kick Blaine and his leather jacket and his smirk out the door and go to the mall. He should.
Blaine saw the instant that Kurt's resolve broke. "Yes!" he yelled, pumping his fist in the air and jostling them both as he shot upright on the bed.
"No, no, no," Kurt protested.
"Uh uh, no backing out now," Blaine practically cheered, diving off the bed and digging around in his bag before jumping back up on the bed. Kurt, startled by the sudden movement, pressed his back to the headboard and drew his knees up in front of him. Unfortunately, this gave Blaine the opportunity to sit even closer, parking himself right in front of Kurt with his legs criss-crossed. He leaned forward, resting his forearm across Kurt's knees and then propping his chin on his arm. "Hi," he grinned.
"Blaine," Kurt warned.
Blaine righted himself, patting Kurt lightly on the knee before removing his arm. "No worries, gorgeous. It's all business. See? I brought…" he reached behind him and whipped out a small stack of white cards with a flourish, "…flashcards!" he finished proudly.
Kurt raised an incredulous brow. "Flashcards?"
"Yep! The study buddy of champions, babe."
Kurt bit his lip to refrain from smiling. "So I'm supposed to take kissing advice from a guy who spent Friday night at home making flashcards?"
Blaine narrowed his eyes playfully. "Well, seeing as I knew I had to be here at the ass-crack of dawn,"
"You got here at nine-thirty, Blaine," Kurt interjected.
"Ass-crack of dawn on a Saturday, sweetheart," Blaine insisted. "Anyway, I knew you'd give in to my brilliant idea, and I wanted you to have something to study later. Never let it be said that Blaine Anderson was a shoddy teacher."
"You're ridiculous," Kurt complained.
"And you're stalling," Blaine countered, staring Kurt down once again.
Sighing heavily, Kurt shifted against the pillow behind him, wishing he could back further away as Blaine's closeness was…disconcerting. However, his curiosity was getting the better of him. Dammit. "Fine," he exhaled.
"Excellent." Blaine resettled himself, moving backwards a few inches. If Kurt didn't know better, he would have sworn that Blaine was doing it because he sensed Kurt's discomfort.
"Now, for starters," Blaine began, his tone mimicking that of a teacher, "there are the practical aspects – how to lean in, how to move your lips, what to do with your tongue," he said, his eyes flicking down to Kurt's mouth and back up. Kurt hoped Blaine missed the color that highlighted his cheeks, but doubted it. "Those are things that are hard to explain without…" he paused again, staring more obviously at Kurt's lips, "demonstrating," he finished, dropping his voice and winking. Before Kurt could object, Blaine pressed on. "However, we are not going to talk about those things."
Kurt looked confused. "We're not?"
"Nope. Gorgeous, it doesn't take a genius to know that when you kiss someone, your lips meet their lips. It's the subtle things that make it good or bad – or, in my case, fantastic." He grinned proudly. "These subtle things – tips, if you will – are the things that I am going to teach you. So, without further ado, I proudly present…" he held up the first flashcard, which had the next words he spoke written out on it. "The Art and Science of Kissing, by Blaine Anderson."
"You've lost your mind," Kurt said, chuckling in spite of himself.
"Possibly. But pay attention," Blaine continued undaunted. "I've identified six things you should keep in mind to make your kissing experience awesome. Follow these, and you'll be a master in no time."
Kurt shifted on the bed, dropping his knees and folding his legs beneath him so that his position mirrored Blaine's. "You better make this worthwhile, Anderson," he huffed, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Have faith, sexy. Have faith." Blaine shuffled through the cards and held one up before him. "The first tip: Breathe."
"Fascinating," Kurt deadpanned.
Blaine laughed. "I'm serious. You'll be nervous, and your first reaction will be to hold your breath. I had one guy," he looked wistfully into the distance, calling forth the memory, "who passed out on me before I even touched him. He got so worked up, he held his breath and hit the floor."
"You're making that up."
"True story, beautiful. So anyway, just remember to breathe. Take a breath before you lean in, and breathe through your nose while you're kissing. You'll have to come up for air eventually, but you can go a lot longer if you pay attention."
"Fine. I'm breathing. What's next, genius?"
"First of all, thank you for acknowledging my brilliance," he teased, holding up the next card. "So tip number two is: Loosen up."
"Isn't that another way of saying I should breathe?" Kurt asked, feeling less impressed by the moment.
"Not at all. The breathing thing, that's pretty standard. Loosen up? That's tailor made for you." At Kurt's quizzical expression, he went on. "Babe, you are one of the most uptight people I know."
"Hey!" Kurt exclaimed, offended.
"Calm down, I'm simply being honest. You are so stiff and rigid all the time. Even when I put my arm around your shoulder at school, I can feel you tense up."
"Yeah, well, I haven't had the best track record with people touching me in those halls, now have I?" Kurt spat out without hesitation.
Blaine flinched. "I know," he responded quietly, laying a gentle hand on Kurt's knee for a second. "But that's the thing – if you're going to get close to someone, you have to let some of that fear go. Relax."
"Easy for you to say," Kurt grumbled.
Blaine withdrew his hand and smiled, but it wasn't his usual smirk. No, this smile was almost sad, Kurt thought. In fact, Kurt could have sworn that it was as if he…cared?
"Well, it's just something to keep in mind. Something to work on. Now," he said, clearing his throat and returning to his lighter mood, "I've combined tips number three and four, as they sort of go together." He held up another flashcard and announced the title, "Adapt and Improvise."
"Possibly the least romantic words ever," Kurt commented.
"Maybe, but they're important. You see," Blaine lectured, "every person you kiss will be different. Some may be taller than you. Some," he winked suggestively, "may be a little shorter." Kurt rolled his eyes at Blaine's clear self-reference. "Mouths are different; bodies are different. You can't develop a single way of kissing and apply it to anyone. You have to customize it for each guy. Make adjustments as you go along. Hence, Adapt and Improvise."
"Aren't you getting a little ahead of yourself, Blaine? I mean, I haven't," Kurt hesitated and turned away before continuing, "I haven't even kissed one guy yet, and you're telling me how to adjust to more than one?"
"This is a comprehensive preparation course, sweetheart. The Blaine Anderson Art and Science of Kissing is meant to take you not only through your first kiss, but through every kiss thereafter. Besides, gorgeous," he reached out and brushed one finger lightly across Kurt's cheek, coaxing him to look up, "if there's one thing I know, it's that once you put yourself out there, the guys will be lining up around the block to kiss you." Something akin to sadness flickered across Blaine's face again, and then it was gone.
Kurt didn't know what he'd expected when he agreed to Blaine's ridiculous offer, but it certainly hadn't been this. He'd feared that he would be faced with a litany of crass comments or come-ons designed to lure him into kissing Blaine. Instead, he was receiving what he begrudgingly acknowledged to be actual, real, helpful advice to make him less nervous about things.
Who knew?
"Next on the list: Negotiate," Blaine announced, holding up yet another flashcard and stirring Kurt from his observations.
"Like in a business deal?"
Blaine tipped his head from side to side. "Mmm, kind of," he acknowledged. "You see, when you have two guys, there's always a bit of a power play between them. A fight for dominance, if you will." Seeing how Kurt blanched at the word "dominance," Blaine chuckled. "No, no. Not that kind of dominance…" he corrected, then added lowly, "though I love that that is where your mind went," he finished with a grin. "Anyway, what I meant is that kissing is kind of like dancing: you're going to want to take the lead, and so is he. Obviously, you can't both lead – someone has to follow. So, you learn to negotiate, sort of wordlessly. Let him take the reins sometimes, and don't be afraid to take charge sometimes, too."
"That…" Kurt faltered, "that actually kind of makes sense," he muttered disbelievingly.
"Well, gee, stop. You'll make me blush," Blaine said sarcastically, drawing a laugh and a blush from his student.
"Sorry," Kurt apologized. When he seemed at a loss for words to continue, Blaine leapt in to spare him.
"As the cliché goes, all good things must come to an end, and we have now arrived at the final and, dare I say, most important tip of all." Blaine leaned to the side and dramatically tapped out a drumroll on the bed – or, at least, as much of a drumroll as one could do on a down comforter.
"The last and most important tip is: Enjoy!" he proclaimed, producing the last flashcard with a flourish. Kurt giggled and shook his head at Blaine's antics in spite of himself. What came next shocked him more than anything he'd heard all afternoon.
Blaine gathered the flashcards and set the stack aside. Reaching out, Blaine took one of Kurt's hands in both of his, holding it firmly but tenderly. "Gorgeous," Blaine began, his voice suddenly soft. "I know I've made this kind of a joke, but in all seriousness, all I want you to know is that you shouldn't worry about this. Someday – soon, I guarantee – you'll find a guy who is right for you. Someone who makes your heart skip a beat and who can't wait to kiss you. I'm sure of it. All I want is for you to enjoy it when it happens. Let yourself be happy. If anyone on this planet deserves to be happy," he said, lightly squeezing Kurt's hand, "it's you."
Blaine fell silent but didn't release Kurt's hand. The two boys sat motionless, looking intently at one another, feeling the very air change between them. Just as Kurt was going to open his mouth – to say what, he wasn't sure – they heard the front door open and a loud voice call from downstairs.
"Kurt, I'm home! Hey, kiddo – whose bike is that parked out front?"
A/N: Uh-oh. Burt's home! Hope you all liked Chapter Two. The third and final chapter will be up soon. Now, go make your flashcards and study...
