Just FYI, the designs I'm going with for Sides and Sunny are their G1/IDW forms.


"Angelica?"

Her eyelids fluttered open.

"What?" She mumbled, struggling to keep her eyes open, rubbing at them to get rid of the sleepiness.

"We're at a gas station," Sideswipe gestured to the store that was to their right as they were parked on the curb. "Do you need anything?"

She sighed and leaned back in her chair, closing her eyes momentarily. "Yeah, sure." She said finally, opening her door and clambering out.

"I'm going to do a lap around the block," He informed her and she waved him off.

Right.

She probably thought he was attempting to get his bearings, which was only partly true.

The other reason was that a Decepticon was nearby.

He couldn't quite pinpoint his location, but he was going to try to lead him away from her.

Why? Because his GPS kept glitching out as it was unaccustomed to the earth's much different makeup than Cybertron.

Fraggin' slag of a fleshling planet.

Unfortunately, the 'Con didn't seem to want to take the bait as he saw no side of him as he drove aimlessly through the nature path.

Where is he?

Annoyed, and slightly frustrated, the Autobot decided to head back to Angelica's position, silently praying to Primus that the 'Con didn't catch up with her before he did.


I strolled back out from the roadside gas station, bag full of necessities in hand.

Well, I wouldn't quite say it was full of….necessities.

More of snacks.

I wasn't sure how long this little venture with Samson was going to last, but I wanted to have something to snack on. He didn't seem to eat anything, which I found strange, but I decided not to question him about it.

Not me, so therefore, not my problem.

The sound of tires grinding on gravel snapped me from my thoughts as I turned to regard the black vehicle that had pulled up next to the gas pumps.

Which….Apparently wasn't a vehicle at all.

A loud clang of metal and whirring of gears resonated as the vehicle morphed into a giant metal being with terrifying glowing, hateful red eyes.

I froze in shock. What the fuck is that thing?

Its head turned as it surveyed its surroundings, and dread slowly pooled into my stomach when its eyes landed on me.

Now, if I had any common sense, I'd turn and bust ass the other way. Regrettably, as it was, I was rooted to the spot in a sort of fascinated horror.

Sure, that thing was big as hell.

But it also looked kinda badass...Despite it being able to squish me without a second thought.

The robot slowly approached me, as if it had never seen anything like me before and was attempting to decipher if I was a potential threat or not.

Run. Every single instinct screamed at me. Just haul ass and fucking run, this thing radiates pure evil.

It was as if there was glue stuck on the bottom of my shoes, prohibiting me from moving anywhere.

It crouched in front of me, and sniffed disdainfully.

"Where is the Autobot?"

"Er...Auto-what?" I was fucking terrified, but I had never heard that term before.

My curiosity will be the death of me someday.

Whiiiiiccchh might be today, come to think of it.

Its eyes narrowed, "I saw you in that pit of a fleshling town, human." It spoke as if the word "human" left a bad taste in its mouth.

"Hold up," I said, frowning. "Bippity boppity back the fuck up." It was his turn to frown, seeing as it sounded like a dude. "You were that asshole who came outta fuckin' nowhere and almost hit me?"

Piss off the giant evil robot, Angelica, 'cuz that's always a great plan.

He sneered, "you humans are so weak, so easy to kill. Unfortunately, I need to locate the Autobot, and you know where to find him. So I will spare you, for now."

"Okay, what the fuck is an Autobot? You can keep saying that word all you like, and I'm still not gonna know what it means."

"You don't have to. You have been traveling with one for some time. By my calculations, since you left that...disgusting residence. Where is he?"

My legs finally regained their function as he leered over me, and I took a couple steps back. "Personal space, bud. Besides, I dunno where your little 'Autobot' friend went, 'cuz I'm pretty sure I would know if I was traveling with a giant robot that looked as ugly as you."

In hindsight, not a great plan.

He let out a snarl, and the dirt around me exploded upwards as he smashed the ground with his massive fists. I shrieked and covered my head, my actions resembling that of a freaked out turtle. "Can you not!?"

It's not my fault I turn into a smartass when I'm scared for my fucking life.

Wait.

I'm just a smartass in general.

Eh, oh well.

"WHERE IS THE AUTOBOT?!" He bellowed, and I fell on my ass trying to get away from him.

"How the fuck should I know?" I yelled back, my voice sounding tiny in comparison. "You're the first fucking giant robot I've seen in my entire life, so I don't fucking know what guy you're look for 'cuz I sure as hell haven't seen him!"

"You're lying," he growled as I rose shakily to my feet.

"Believe me, I wish I was." I replied, trying and failing to keep my voice from wavering.

The ground abruptly got farther away from me as the robot lifted me up, grabbing me around my midsection. "Hey!" I yelped, "put me down!" My voice came out in a squeak as I pushed vainly at the hand I was currently encased in.

He raised me to eye level, glaring. "I will ask you one final time-"

"And I'll inform you one final time," I interrupted. "I. Don't. Know. Where. The. Auto-freak. Is."

I heard the familiar purr of an engine, and I craned my head to see.

No, no, no, no. Samson has to get outta here he'll get killed.

But before I could say anything, I was shocked into silence as their was another clang of metal and whirring of gears as the lamborghini turned into yet another fucking robot.

Fuckin' great. A second asshole to question me.

"Listen," I began, "I have no idea where this Auto-guy that you're looking for is at, so can I just go now?"

"Aw, don't be like that. We were just beginning to get to know each other."

He sounded like Samson.

"What?" My voice was small.

As per usual, I was ignored.

"Let the squish go, 'Con. She has nothing to do with any of this."

The robot holding me starting shaking and making a noise I could only assume was laughter. "Very poor choice of words, little Autobot."

Suddenly, I preferred it when the ground got farther away from me.

Seeing as right now it was rushing forwards to greet me, and turn me into a human pancake.

I screamed. Loudly. But I grunted as I came into contact with something metal, and oddly warm. Shocked, I looked up to see another robot with a red, white, and black color scheme.

"You okay, doll?" He drawled.

"Uh-huh," I nodded, mouth agape, too far into shock to come up with a retort.

He grinned and I was deposited in front of the store doors. I became aware I was clutching my shopping bag in a death grip.

How I had not dropped it was beyond me.

"Now," he spoke, turning to the other robot. "How about we settle this matter, bot-to-bot?"

The two lunged at each other, and the lamborghini quickly gained the upper hand. The lamborghini delivered a swift blow to the evil robot's face before doing a roundhouse kick, causing the other to stumble backwards.

The other robot, let's just call him Evil, and the lamborghini, Imma just refer to him as Lambo.

Seeing as I haven't the slightest fuckin' clue if giant robots have names.

"Evil" so original, I know. But the guy's hella creepy, so don't judge me.

Evil snarled, his right arm turning into a giant metal sword which he immediately swung at Lambo's head, who leaned backwards as if he was doing the limbo before grabbing Evil's arm and twisting it to the side.

I mean, that has gotta hurt, because Evil retaliated by punching Lambo in the face a couple times with his free hand, and then shoving him away with his foot.

The lamborghini laughed, wiping his mouth, which had begun to leak a blue liquid substance. "Is that all you got, 'Con?"

"Be careful what you wish for, little Autobot." Evil leapt forwards, catching his opponent off guard, picked him up, and threw him discus style; whom of which was sent flying across the dirt parking lot, and went rolling. Evil glanced down at me again, where I was huddled against the store doors, afraid to enter in case one of them squished the building.

I did not want to get stuck in a squashed building, thank you very much.

"You have outlived your usefulness," he rumbled, his left hand transforming into a gigantic gun. It let out a high pitch whine as it began to charge up, but it died instantly as Evil was tackled by Lambo, who had apparently recovered from his flight.

Evil regained his footing and took another stab at his enemy with his sword, but as it was, Lambo also had the ability to morph his arm into a sword at will. The two fought for sword dominance, pressing hard into the other whilst locking their free hands together, each attempting to overpower the other.

Eventually, Lambo must've gotten bored with the predicament because his smile (Who the fuck wears a smile when fighting for their life?) vanished from his face and he kicked Evil, who stumbled backwards a couple steps.

Seriously, what was with them kicking each other backwards to gain space? Just shove the fucker.

Evil regained his balance and looked up just in time to see his precious sword arm get sliced off.

There was a scream of outrage and pain, and several birds abandoned their roosts in the nearby trees.

As if they were thinking. Nope, fuck this shit I'm out, I don't want to deal with angry colossal robots. No way, bye Felicia!

Evil stumbled a few more feet backwards, hissing and grasping his stub of an arm, which was leaking some more blue fluid. "This is not the end, little Autobot," he rasped.

"You're right, it's not." Replied Lambo cooly. "So let's make it the end, shall we?" He took out a giant gun seemingly out of thin air and pointed it at the other robot, whose eyes widened in alarm just as the lamborghini pulled the trigger.

There was a loud thump and the ground shook as Evil collapsed to his knees and fell face first into the dirt.

The victor decided to turn his attention to me, cautiously approaching me before kneeling down. I leaned back as far as I could, trying to make myself smaller, as if it might repel the giant robot looming over me.

"There's nothing to be afraid of," his attempt at reassuring me failed miserably.

"Where's Samson?" My voice shook pitifully. The robot looked human enough with its features and whatnot, but the fact that it was a gigantic metal, quite possibly alien, robot kind of negated it.

"Erm…" He frowned, "yeah, uh, he's not a separate person." I knit my eyebrows together in confusion. "What I mean to say is that he's me - he-er-I-er… It's my holoform."

"Holo-what now?"

The robot made a face of annoyance. "Listen, fleshy, can we finish the Q&A later? There are more Decepticons headed this way and I'd prefer not to be here when they arrive."

"No," I said, standing up on legs that felt like jello. "No, you're going to answer my questions now. Who are you? What are you? Who was that guy? And what the hell is going on here?!"

The robot huffed in frustration. "I promise I'll answer all your questions later, now can we please go?"

"No," I responded, shaking my head. "I'm not going anywhere with you."

"You've been seen with me, you saw how that 'Con reacted." The robot pointed to his fallen foe. "The next one isn't going to be as gentle, and if I leave without you, I won't be around to save you the next time they find you!"

"You wouldn't have had to save me had you not dragged me into this mess!" I glared, crossing my arms. "You could've fucking been up front about this shit so that I didn't have to get involved!

The robot narrowed its eyes dangerously, "there are a couple things wrong with that statement. First of all, would you have believed me if I didn't transform as proof? Secondly, transforming would give away my position to the 'Cons and quite possibly endanger even more humans. Don't be selfish, Angelica."

"Well maybe for once in my fucking life, I want to be selfish. Did you ever fucking think about that?"

"All you humans are the same," he muttered, looking as if he was struggling to maintain his cool composure. "You need to come with me, you're in danger. The 'Cons won't care if you're not traveling with me anymore or not. They'll still believe that you have ties to me and therefore to my location."

"What the hell?" I protested. "I didn't fucking ask for this shit!"

"None of us did," he growled back. "But that's the world we live in." He straightened to his full height and transformed back into the lamborghini. The passenger door opened, the meaning clear.

This discussion is over, get in the fucking car.

Stay and die? Or live for now, possibly die later, and go with the giant robot?

Doesn't seem like much of a choice.

I sighed, running a hand through my now filthy hair.

"Fuck it."

I climbed into the car, and we sped away.


In case anyone's wondering, the Decepti-creep that Sides battled is an unnamed one that I just made up on the spot, so if he's similar to any in the Transformers universe, it was completely unintentional.

Sooo, what'd you guys think of the robot smack down? Did you enjoy it?