Pre-Comment: So, I've heard all your demands for more of this idiocy and so here I am to give you what you want.

Warning: (I guess I should, I might get burning garbage thrown at me if I don't.) Many, many, many gay jokes. (Okay, not that many--not as many as the next chapter.) If you get offended by that sort of humour, well... don't say I didn't warn you.


Chapter Two: All You Need is Love

To Lelouch Lamperouge, love equalled money.

And if a little of it was good, then a lot was infinitely better.

After hearing about the world's richest man on television, Lelouch booked the next available flight to Japan for him and CC first thing in the morning. A week later, he stepped off the plane, dragging a groggy accomplice and stared at the sun rising in the early stir of the morning. Taking a deep breath, he smiled.

Japan was a blessed country.

His Shangri-La.

His land of great fortune.

His boon of—

CC leaned on his frame sleepily and glared murderously at the glowing orange sun on the horizon. Jet lag affected her horribly, and he often suffered (if he wasn't careful) because of that too, but this time he was too excited to be here—where his one true love was.

"I can't believe we left Britannia for this."

"Don't be like that," he admonished. "The love of my life is here."

CC groaned. "Don't you think he's going to figure out you're straight? Fags know these things. They have this radar… that detects other fags.... That's how they find each other."

Lelouch merely grinned, full force. "I'll just have to give off faggish vibes then."

CC eyed him. "Do you even know how?"

Lelouch scoffed. "Does it matter? I'll figure it out. Seducing a gay man shouldn't be any different than seducing a woman. Come on, let's get settled at our hotel and find us a flat today. I can pay cash."

Lelouch started off ahead without her, walking straight to the terminal. CC sighed. A familiar red hat caught her eye and she turned to see a Pizza Hut being manned by Japanese people. Another long sigh. There was no way it would be the same. Britannia had it down to an art form.

"I will die in this country," she declared bitterly, trudging off after Lelouch.


"Do you speak English? Okay, how about this: parlez-vous Français? Wait, that doesn't help, that's all I know in French. CC!"

CC was in the kitchen, admiring the large oven. It was of an industrial size and could cook at least four twelve inch's at once—probably more. She felt giddy. The exterior was stainless steel and it matched the fridge. Fixtures indicating a gas stove spanned over it. The counter-tops were marble and—

"CC!"

—the cupboards were a matching black. Just how Lelouch manage to secure an actual house as opposed to the typical apartment was beyond her. Nonette, Kallen, and a trail of tears, empty bank accounts, murderous women, and endless running guaranteed them both a more or less comfortable lifestyle for a long time to come.

CC was content with how things were.

Lelouch was just greedy.

Her hands ran over the smooth black wood—real wood—cupboards, and opened them. Of course they were empty. CC just had to check and make sure he didn't actually go and bribe or con a family into leaving their house in the middle of the night. Lelouch was the kind of person who would do—

"CC!!"

CC grumbled and left the kitchen of her dreams to sit down on the couch next to Lelouch, pointedly ignoring the sour look on his face.

Such a child.

How she ever got stuck with him in the first place would forever remain to be a mystery to her. Lelouch was petulant, vain, greedy and weak enough to lose an arm wrestling match with a kitten.

But he was also extremely good looking.

That was always a plus.

And it made her forget about a lot of things.

Like just how stupid he was to hop a plane for Japan in attempts to dupe a gay man out of his money.

The woman sitting across the table from them in the other plush leather couch gave a placating smile. Now that CC was here, Lelouch took to staring out the bay window at the street, bewildered. It looked different. He should've been expecting that. Such a spoiled, brattish little—

"Your husband seems very concerned about something," the realtor said in perfectly native Japanese. "Is everything alright?"

Stupid Lelouch. What if that rich kid couldn't speak English? Did he ever think of that? Aside from that he was gay.

G.

A.

Y.

She was pretty sure Lelouch was more or less homophobic in some way or another. It would explain why he subconsciously kept a self-imposed restraining order whenever Mao dropped by unannounced to visit CC.

CC never told him Mao wasn't actually gay since lying to him about it on April Fool's.

Last year.

CC snorted. "This brat's not my husband. And he'll be fine, thanks for asking. However much this house is we'll take it. Cash, up front. How long will it take?"

"CC."

CC turned to him. He was really pushing it. First he dragged her out of Britannia, and now he was ordering her around. He has it coming; she would make sure it happened.

"What?" she snapped.

Lelouch frowned.

When Lelouch didn't say anything for a while, she forgot her irritation—like she always did—and gave in to the twinge of conscience-driven concern. Damn that conscience of hers.

"Lelouch?"

"I've just realized something…" he said quietly. A hint of sadness flecked his tone.

Oh this would be good.

"What?" she asked softly.

A small voice in the back of her mind told her to commit this moment to memory.

After all, maybe he had actually realized just how irrational and utterly retarded this idea really was.

"I have no idea how to tell a rich woman from a poor one. They all look the same. Identical! I could starve!"

Calm down, CC, he's just an idiot. A pretty-faced idiot with a love of money that rivals his hatred for cats.

With a shocking amount of restraint, CC turned back to the realtor slowly. Yeah, this moron would get his later.

"How long will it take?" she repeated to the realtor.

"Not long—since you're paying in cash. I just need your signatures and I can have everything set up in a week."

CC sighed. Maybe she would take the time to teach this moron some Japanese.

"That's perfect, thank you."

The realtor bowed low and smiled graciously. "No, thank you."

With a last, longing look at the kitchen—and its industrial size oven—CC dragged Lelouch downtown. If they were going to live here until Lelouch suffered enough homosexual trauma to initialize an allergic reaction to everything queer, she would need to acquaint him with some commonplace Japanese culture so he could get along without her.

If for no other reason than to tell the cops that she wasn't responsible for him.

Or better yet, claim not to know him.

"Alright, Lelouch, it's time for your crash course on everything Japanese. I haven't been here since I was twelve, but I'm sure it hasn't changed that much in ten years. First of all, do you have any questions?"

Silence surrounded her and CC had the distinct impression she was just now talking to air. Turning, she darted her head around.

"Lelouch?"

Well damn.

Lost him already.


"I don't think I've ever seen eyes so green. They remind me of the forests my dad would take me to when we would go out camping in my childhood. It's refreshing."

The girl fidgeted nervously, blushing. Really, she couldn't make it any easier for him.

"Do… do you really think so? They're not… I mean, they don't look very good with my hair, right?"

Lelouch regarded her orange hair and green eyes. The bright yellow dress she wore in combination with her orange hair gave him a really bad hankering for some sort of citrus fruit.

And, no, they didn't look good.

Frowning at her, he shook his head. "What are you saying? Have more confidence in yourself. You're charming and you're cute. And I completely don't mind that you ruined a very good shirt of mine."

Turning bright red, she fidgeted again, looking down at her hands in her lap. "I… I'm really, really sorry about that!"

Lelouch laughed. "It's fine! It's fine! If I had to get my shirt ruined by someone I'd definitely pick you."

Before this track continues, let's go back to fifteen minutes ago.

"You don't just suddenly become gay, Lelouch."

Lelouch scoffed, waving the matter off as irrelevant. "Love conquers all boundaries."

"It's just too bad your love is owned by someone else." CC paused and then added, "Who is gay."

He frowned. "I think you're just homophobic. Jealous that I found someone to share the rest of my life with?"

CC snorted with laughter. "It's cute how you've brainwashed yourself into thinking you're in love with a queer."

"It's the best mindset for getting that queer's money."

A roll of golden eyes ended the topic of conversation. CC had commented with something else when something bright, long and orange caught his eye. Pretty face and green eyes. Yellow dress, yellow shoes and a clashing bright red purse. The unmistakable logo of a ridiculously expensive brand acted as a latch on her purse.

Even if it was ugly, it was expensive, which meant she was worth some money.

Or at least lunch.

He was here in this country for his soul mate after all.

A nearby girl was texting something on her phone, carrying a chocolate ice cream cone. Glancing down at his white shirt, Lelouch put two and two together.

Walking up to her, he placed a hand around the cone. The girl looked up and her eyes widened—phone forgotten. Slowly, Lelouch leaned in and took a lick of her ice cream cone, easing it out of her hands. Taking a step back, he took another slow lick.

The trademark blush spread across her face.

With a wink and smile, Lelouch walked away from her until he was out of sight. If he were any less of a pretty man, he probably would've felt bad for doing something like this.

And probably would've gotten a slap in the face for harassing a lone female.

Possibly jail time.

Now to find that redhead.

Thankfully he didn't have to look far. The girl was walking along the street a block away, absent-mindedly checking her phone. This would be cake and he'd have lunch—possibly with cake—in no time at all.

Hopefully she didn't have a secretly abrasive—or abusive—personality like Kallen's.

Lelouch suppressed a shudder. He didn't think he could go through with that again.

Catching up to her, he planned to intercept her. If his judgement was right she would be turning this corner right about—

"Ack!"

A gasp.

The phone clattered on the ground.

Green eyes flew up to meet his and then back down to the large brown, sticky, dripping mess on his shirt. The ice cream would've dropped on the ground, normally, but Lelouch had to be creative.

"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry!"

"Ah… my shirt…"

"I'm so sorry!" She started bowing profusely.

Lelouch held a hand up, looking mildly pissed. "It's… it's fine…"

"I'm so sorry! Ah… here let me make it up to you somehow…"

Lelouch smiled.

Now that you're all caught up, let's go back to the current situation.

"I still feel really bad about it. The… it wasn't terribly expensive was it?"

Lelouch gave her a slight smile. "It was a gift from someone important. It can be washed, don't worry so much. Buying lunch and dessert is more than enough."

A look of dread crossed her face. "Oh no. It wasn't from your girlfriend or anything was it? I'm really—"

"Stop apologizing already! I said its fine. I think my non-existent girlfriend won't mind. It was actually a gift from my deceased mother. She was a high-ranking politician and got assassinated a few years ago on my eighteenth birthday."

A blush dusted her face. "Oh… I… I'm so—I mean… ah…"

Lelouch laughed. "You're really cute when you're nervous and flustered like that. Look, I feel bad for being so angry about it." Lelouch started to reach for his wallet. "Let me pay for lunch—"

"No! At least let me do this much. I ruined your shirt after all."

Lelouch stood up. "No, I treated a lady horribly I should—"

"No!" Shirley was up on her feet as well, a hand over the one reaching for his wallet. "I insist."

Lelouch blinked, and then smiled.

That was one goal for the day done.

"Alright then. Thank you, Shirley."

A blush.

"N-No problem. I mean, I'm so—"

A squeak left her as Lelouch planted his lips firmly on hers in a kiss. It worked wonders on Kallen—who had the tendency to go on a tirade every now and then which made predicting her PMS a problem. It effectively shut her up and made her forget why she was so angry at him in the first place.

When they split apart, Lelouch simply stared into her green eyes, smiling. Shirley stared back.

Lost in my amazingly good looks, he thought.

And if Lelouch Lamperouge wasn't so good-looking he just might be a jerk.

"I said no more apologizing," he whispered, close to her tomato-red face.

Shirley squeaked and ran off to the counter to pay for their bill.

Lelouch sighed.

Although he had jumped a plane and come to an unknown country on a whim to seduce a gay man out of millions, he had no idea just how he was supposed to get the chance to meet him. For that matter, Lelouch practically forgot what he looked like. All he remembered was that he was rich and had green eyes.

Lelouch had a dream last night of him, and he looked just like a golden dollar sign with green eyes.

He was pretty sure that wasn't what he looked like.

But he was almost positive he really would fall in love if Suzaku actually did look like that—regardless of gender.

CC had changed the channel after calling him an idiot before he could commit the kids' face to memory.

Actually, now that he thought about it, this was more of a problem than he thought.

Maybe CC was on to something with all that complaining she was doing pre-flight, mid-flight, and post-flight.

"Lelouch?"

Zeroing in back to reality, Lelouch turned to Shirley and smiled. "Thanks for lunch, Shirley."

She blushed.

A thought struck him. Why not just ask? Over half the country was running on the stuff. It would be nuts for someone to not know.

"Say, Shirley, I don't suppose you know anything about—" Lelouch fished around in his memory for the name of the company "—er—the Sakuradite company here, do you?"

Shirley blinked. "I know enough. My father works directly with the CEO of the big one."

Luck like this could only happen in made up stories, Lelouch, you lucky guy.

"Oh really? That must be interesting."

"Yeah. He's always home late from work. Why?"

Lelouch shrugged, eyeing the exit of the restaurant. "No reason. Say, you wouldn't mind showing me around town would you? I'm actually pretty new here. Just moved from Britannia."

Her face brightened and then fell. "I would… but I have a cocktail party my father wants me to go to. It's a business mixer of sorts. A lot of company executives go there and make business deals with each other."

This time his face fell. "Oh. Ah… hey… you don't… have a boyfriend do you?"

Another squeak. Her eyes widened and she blushed.

Lelouch smiled, going in for the kill.

"…because I'd really like to go out with you again sometime." He winked. "My treat."

"I'd like that very much!" she blurted out—blushing like mad.

Lelouch laughed. "Okay, let's swap numbers."

"S-Sure!"

Shirley jumped and turned to fish around in her ugly red purse. The golden designer label sparkled with real diamonds.

Lelouch had given enough fake ones away to know the real thing when he saw it. He estimated they were approximately worth five-hundred each.

When her phone was in view, he stole it out of her hands despite her protest and quickly copied her number into his phone and vice versa. Handing it back to her, he smiled again—well aware of the blush tinting her cheeks.

Leaning over, he gave her another kiss on the cheek. Shirley jumped back, flushing darker.

The wink.

The smile.

And the—

"I'll call you."

Before she could say anything to keep him back, Lelouch left.

Surprisingly enough, he saw a pissed-off looking CC scouring the crowds with angry, golden eyes. Normally, Lelouch would've run and hid somewhere and return with a peace offering of some sort. (Mainly of the circular variety that came with copious amounts of cheese.) Too bad for him this was an abnormal situation in foreign territory whose inhabitants either didn't understand English or were terrible at speaking it.

Making his way over, he waved at her when he caught her eye. CC walked towards him, frowning.

"Just how on earth are you still alive after running off on me?" CC's eyes flitted down to the brown spot on his white shirt and back up. "What's with the mud stain?"

"I ran into a girl."

CC paused. "Right. That answers all my questions. I swear; if you weren't so pretty you'd be dead by now."

Lelouch laughed. "If I weren't so pretty I'd get plastic surgery. So, what wisdom have you for me?"

CC sighed. "Your potential boyfriend is attending a cocktail party tonight."

"Yeah, I know. I think I found a way in."

Her eyebrows rose. "How the he—? Just how did you know this already?"

Lelouch nodded his head in the direction of the café. "I ran into a girl."

"Right. Of course."

"Hey, it works."

A roll of the eyes. "Anyway, indulge me. How are you getting in?"

"Gonna be that girl's date. Bump into the queer and seduce him with my stunning good looks."

"And the rest?" CC folded her arms expectantly.

Lelouch blinked. "What rest? I seduce him with my stunning good looks," he repeated. "End of story."

CC shook her head in her palm, sighing. "You need more of a plan than that, Romeo. This con is going to take days, months, weeks, and could even be years before he hands you a dime or bank statement."

"Pffbt." Lelouch folded his arms, looking away from her. "Love will find me a way to make it happen sooner. This is in the bag, CC. You worry too much. All I need is love."

With that, Lelouch walked off.

Mind you, in the wrong direction.

CC glared at his back.

"And a half a brain."


The golden dress she wore reminded him of Emily. That led his mind to wander at how he had lost Emily. And her money, GIC's, investments and assets. Then he started thinking about how it was all Kallen's fault. So when he thought about Kallen's vicious, angry blue—

Let's get off the thought train, destination: places scary.

Lelouch shivered off the feeling of his blood curdling just slightly.

"So, Shirley, what exactly does your father do for the Sakura Company?"

"He, um, does something. I think maybe he works with the finances or something. The president cuts the deals and he works out the details."

"I see. That seems very demanding."

Lelouch glanced around, feeling every bit the fish out of water. All around him were black suits from all nationalities. Silver name tags and the logo of the respective companies were pinned to their chests. He had assumed that anyone worth knowing in this setting was important enough to have a nametag. The ones who didn't have one—like him—were probably nobodies.

Although he was scouring the crowds for Suzaku Kururugi, the realization that all he remembered about the kid was his green eyes was starting to sink in. What if he was older than he thought? It could be that he only looked young on TV. Plastic surgery was common wasn't it? If his nose was falling off because he had so many—

"Lelouch, um, thanks for coming with me."

"Don't mention it," he returned, smiling. "Thanks for inviting me. I've always wanted to soak up this kind of atmosphere. My parents never really ran with a crowd like this to take me along."

Shirley blinked. "Your mother was a politician, though, wasn't she?"

Er.

"She never let me come though. Doesn't it feel awkward being here?"

Shaking her head, she smiled, turning to look at her father—who had brutally interrogated him to his wit's end before deeming him 'little more than maggot satisfactory' enough to date his daughter. The familiar feeling of getting out of that conversation by the skin of his teeth still rattled on the edges of his nerves.

Thank God for '101 Ways to Prove Yourself to Your Girlfriend's Father'

Shirley shook her head. "Not really. Everyone here who knows my father pretty much knows who I am. I've been going to these things with him since I was little."

"I see. Are you thirsty? Let me grab you something to drink."

Before she could argue otherwise, Lelouch took off into the sea of black suits and neckties. Other than Shirley's mom, there were few other women in the crowd—and they were either married or old.

For as much of a money whore as he was, Lelouch didn't fancy being leered at by sixty-something grannies for a living on a daily basis.

For a brief moment before the party, Lelouch felt apprehensive about not being able to take CC along. The few things she told him to get ready for tonight were swallowed up in daydreaming about the new Ferrari or BMW he would be driving through the capital in Britannia soon enough.

Finding the punch bowl by the smorgasbord of food fairly quickly, Lelouch poured two drinks. Glancing at the food enviously, he told himself that once this job was over he'd have enough to feed CC's pepperoni-covered addiction as well as his own for the finer things in life.

Back in Britannia.

Where people spoke English.

Over in a corner of the room, Lelouch spotted a tall young man with blonde hair with his back turned to him, talking to someone. The white suit stuck out like a sore thumb in the dull mill of middle-aged men who could substitute for a funeral procession.

Could be Suzaku.

No, not just could. It probably was Suzaku. Only a fag would wear a white business suit to a meeting like this. If you were important or stupid enough you could get away with anything.

Like wearing stripes with plaid.

But first, he had to drop off the extra drink for Shirley. Lelouch kept his eyes on Suzaku, walking away slowly before snapping his head in the direction he was going to avoid bum—

"Ack! My suit!"

Whoops. Too late.

The punch splattered on his suit (this time not on purpose) and Lelouch mourned the cost of dry-cleaning later.

"Oh jeeze, I'm sorry!"

Black suit, no nametag. Probably not Suzaku then.

Lelouch looked down at his dripping suit, back over to Suzaku standing in the corner—now laughing with the men around him—and caught the keen gaze of Shirley's father leering at him like a piece of meat ready to be torn apart. Or fed to lions.

101 Ways to Prove Yourself to Your Girlfriend's Father Rule Number One: Never lose your temper in front of your girlfriend's father no matter what happens.

"I… it's… it's fine. Just really expensive is all."

"Damn. I'm really sorry. I wasn't really watching where I was going… but I guess you weren't either, right?" He smiled.

Lelouch resisted the urge to glare at him.

And maybe punch him in the face.

This idiot had just spilt a drink on him and was now making jokes about it.

Laughing, he shrugged. "I guess not. This means I should apologize too, right? Sorry."

Drink Spiller shook his head. "No, no. You're the one that got your suit ruined. Here, what group are you with? I can work out a deal to make up for it."

Lelouch grimaced inside. The longer he spent talking to this idiot the more time Suzaku had to get away. Not only that but he had to get a replacement drink for Shirley and somehow find a change of clothing.

"Oh, I'm not with a group. I'm just here to keep my, er, cousin company."

Drink Spiller looked around, as if he would know her by such a vague description. "Who's your cousin?"

Lelouch nodded over in her direction. It was easy to spot her in her golden dress. Minus ugly red purse.

"Shirley Fenette."

He blinked for a moment before turning back. "Ah, I see. Yeah, I know Shirley."

"Yeah. I'm kind of glad she brought me. I'm a little interested in meeting Suzaku Kururugi," Lelouch said absentmindedly, eyes drifting back to Suzaku in the corner. "I've heard that he's gay. Maybe he'll fall for my charming good looks in the process."

CC's Pointer for Meeting Kururugi Number One: Talk to as many people as you can about him and hope you get introduced without looking like a loon. Or a stalker.

He laughed. "I see. So, anyway, how can I make this up to you?"

If it were a woman, he'd normally ask for dinner as compensation, then gauge whether she were worth the time and effort for a job. As long as she wasn't married or attached it was fine.

He was a boy.

This was a first.

"I… uh… you could pay for—"

"How about dinner?"

What?

His mind panicked. The shock stayed his tongue, but not his head. The glare of older green eyes from afar gave him wisdom—like every other boy when under the scrutiny of a girl's father—to not overreact.

"…dry-clea… what?"

Drink Spiller laughed and shook his head. "Sorry, sorry. I guess I should introduce myself then, since you're so interested in meeting me. Suzaku Kururugi, at your service."

Suzaku held his hand out in a friendly handshake.

Lelouch stared at his hand like it was the plague and then back up to his face.

Green eyes, dull brown hair.

Something in Lelouch's memory clicked.

Good Lord, it was Suzaku!

It was all coming back to him now.

"…you're not wearing a pin… thing."

"Name plate. Yeah, I don't like wearing those things. Besides I like talking to people who don't know I am before making deals with them. People are more honest when talking about them if they know it's someone unaffiliated to that person."

"Oh God," Lelouch swore, "You are Suzaku." He racked his brain for something witty and charming to say while at the same time looking embarrassed.

In his defence, you'd be embarrassed too if you had just expressed homophile intentions towards the unwitting target of your twisted affections. For his money.

Lelouch had miscounted the other sort of people who didn't wear them—the nametags. First the nobodies, and then the really, really important ones.

Suzaku laughed. "So… dinner? Seven o'clock, this Saturday? I seem to have fallen for your charming good looks. Plus I have a ruined suit to make up for."

Lelouch blinked.

And then his brain clicked into gear.

Laughing lightly, he offered his best smile. "Sure. I never thought I'd meet you this way. It's a little… awkward. To be honest."

"No kidding."

"Anyway, I need to get back to Shirley. I told her I'd grab her a drink about five minutes ago. I don't want her thinking I've run off on her."

Suzaku nodded before his head popped a bit. "Oh, your number. At least give me that so I can call to confirm with you."

Oh, right.

Lelouch fished around his coat pocket and pulled out his phone. Flipping it open he found it snatched out of his hands.

He was speechless.

This was also a first.

Suzaku seemed to extract his number well enough and handed it back, smiling. With a wink and—

"I'll call you."

He walked away.

Lelouch blinked.

A profound sense of déjà vu came over him.


Suzaku felt giddy in a way he'd never felt before.

Not only would this pass time, but it would be a convenient way to reinforce his relationship status with the public eye. Plus it would be entertaining to boot.

Slipping through the crowds, he looked around for Li Xingke, vice of the Shen Hu Group. There were a few remaining details he needed to discuss before shipping the deal off to his international affairs sector. If this deal went through, negotiations with China would go much more smoothly.

An arm was thrown around his neck haphazardly and Suzaku struggled for a moment, feeling the breath choked out of him.

When he was released, he swivelled around and glared at Gino Weinberg. Gino was here representing Schneizel el Britannia—who never ever came (even if the mixer was in Britannia (that lazy man))—of the Britannia Group. Being similar ages, they had become fast friends.

"Who's the kid?" Gino nodded over at the boy—who was currently flattering the mother of his cousin-date by her expression.

"My date for this Saturday. Potential boyfriend. He's straight."

Gino blinked in confusion. Then he frowned, eyeing Suzaku. "Aren't you straight? I thought 'being gay' was just a lie to get the fan-girls off you."

"Yeah." Suzaku grinned. "But he doesn't know that."

Gino sighed, shaking his head in dismay, regarding the boy again, now talking to his date-cousin. "That poor kid."


Comments:

This story is a labour of love. Or insanity. Or stupidity. I'm willing to bet money on the last two.

Please R&R. -- It keeps me happy.

- Minute Maid

Beverage of Queens.