*2*

Michael woke the next morning to the sun shining brightly through the windows of Nikita's loft. Nikita herself was still tucked into him the way they'd gone to sleep, the only difference being she'd turned her face into his shoulder. Maybe to unconsciously shut out the bright sunlight as much as possible. Judging by the sun's rays he figured it must be close to eight o'clock and he wondered when the last time had been when he'd slept this late. An overdose of emotions topped off with a hefty dose of very good sex did things to a guy, he figured. And apparently to a girl too, judging by the way Nikita still slept on. He'd let her sleep as long as she would, he decided instantly. Only just resisting the urge to caress her long dark tresses or trace the curve of her neck to her supple back lest his touch woke her up.

Michael had woken up in the middle of the night for a similar reason as Nikita had before. Her fingers had stopped their comforting movement on his skin and in his hair and she'd tensed ever so slightly. But unlike the tension Michael had expressed when he'd inadvertently woken Nikita, the tension she'd expressed wasn't of a possibly pleasurable nature. He knew her long and well enough to know when she was turning things over and over in her head. It didn't happen all that often, seeing as she had a tendency to think on her feet and act immediately, but when it did, you could be sure that whatever it was, was by no means something not to be taken seriously. Not that he could do anything but, given that he had a feeling he knew exactly what it was that was keeping her up, but it did lead him to question what the right approach would be for both of them. Every time he had tried to apologise last night she had cut him of. He couldn't think of a fitting apology anyhow, so he hadn't pressed, but she should know how deeply sorry he truly was, acceptable explanation or not. And to him Division's machinations - were she had placed the blame last night, weren't good enough.

So he lay there, focussing on keeping his breathing slow and even and his body relaxed, thoughts weighing heavily on his mind but determined not to be overcome by them. He forced himself to focus on just where he was, in Nikita's hiding place, in her tiny bed with her in his arms. Nikita. The recruit he couldn't help but fall in love with. She had turned his world upside down. Their very first kiss had felt like an oasis in a desert to him, but letting it progress into something more at that point would have been the ultimate betrayal to Elizabeth and Hayley. And instead of coming to terms with his ever escalating feelings for her, he had made one of the poorest decisions in his career at Division and his life and had sent her away, without talking to her about it first, without talking to her period. To Chicago. Where she met Daniel. And then Daniel was killed and Nikita left. In search of revenge and definitely out for blood, Percy's and maybe his own too. Or so he had thought.

If he were completely honest with himself he probably didn't think he had been ready for all the feelings Nikita and that fateful first kiss stirred in him. He and Lizzy had promised each other forever once and truth be told, his grief over losing her and their little girl had not only been tremendous but it had also been a faithful companion giving purpose to his life in the form of revenge where Division and the purpose he believed it was meant to serve, didn't.

Nikita had overwhelmed his senses from the very start. He thought he had been able to rationalise their undeniable chemistry away as just clicking really well with someone on more than one level, but that kiss had blown every rational argument he had given himself up until then straight out of the water. That he hadn't been ready for it and everything it entailed was confirmed by the ad hoc decision to send her on a long term deep cover, not that he had dared admit that to himself at the time. He had rationalised this decision as he had everything to do with Nikita: it was for her own safety.

He had been a fool then and at least until a little shorter than a day ago now. Liz and Hayley had died that fateful first day of spring nine years ago at the hands of Division, he now knew. But even if they had died at the hands of a terrorist it wouldn't have made a difference to the fact that he had willingly set aside the knowledge that neither Lizzy nor Hayley would have ever wanted him to lead a life driven by hatred under any circumstance. They would have wanted him to live, really live. To start again and find happiness and love as he would have wanted them to, had the bomb not missed its intended target that day. How many times he had made Nikita pay the price for his blindness he didn't much care to count.

Feeling the warmth of her body next to his, her scent surrounding him while she slept so trustingly in his arms, he couldn't help but wonder how he had gotten so lucky to have her with him like this even for the briefest moment. After everything. The only words he had spoken during their first time making love weren't spoken rash or at the height of passion. He loved her, suddenly it had been plain and simple to him after so many years and he needed her to know. He loved her, just as he knew she loved him too. He didn't need to hear her say it, though he plainly recalled the shock he'd felt when she'd nearly shouted it at him in the midst of an argument they had on a rooftop a few weeks ago. He could argue that her loving him probably wasn't one of the most healthy things she had ever done, but he would make sure that would change from now on.

Nikita starting to stir, pulled Michael from his musings. She stretched a bit rolling slightly away from him as she did so. Running his fingers through her hair proved to difficult to resist now and as he did just that Nikita's grip on his fingers tightened as her other hand travelled slowly down his back. Eyes still closed, the corners of her mouth turned up slightly in a smile. Michael couldn't help but smile in return at the lovely sight she made, "Hi".

Nikita opened her eyes and repeated his greeting back to him as her smile widened, "Hi". Michael brought their joined hands to his lips to kiss her knuckles. Nikita returned the favour as she snuggled back into him. Hugging him to her she let out a contented sigh. They lay there silently for a while, Nikita enjoying waking up slowly for a change and Michael content to let her as long as he got to hold her close.

"This is nice", she spoke after a while. Michael agreed, "Hmm, very nice", and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. Nikita sighed again, "Do you need to go?". Michael held her a little closer as he replied, "No". Nikita didn't respond in any way outwardly but Michael also knew her well enough to know that wouldn't last long. He didn't really want their talk to turn serious right away but knew it couldn't be postponed indefinitely either.

"I don't have to go in for the next 48 hours", he didn't elaborate any further and she didn't ask him to.

She squeezed his hand a little, "We have some time then". It wasn't really a statement, but it wasn't really a question either and Michael wasn't quite sure what she meant by it. So when no reply was forthcoming Nikita spoke again, "To talk". She sighed again, "We should talk about where we want to go from here, but not just yet. Okay?"

Michael smiled slightly and kissed her hair again, "Okay". It seemed he wasn't the only one who preferred hiding out in their little cocoon a bit longer.

And so they spent the better part of the morning in bed together, cuddling and kissing occasionally, never letting it escalate into making love a third time but just quietly enjoying being together. Until the rumbling of Michael's stomach disturbed their peace. Nikita laughed but her mirth was short lived when she asked him when the last time was he ate and he couldn't remember. She'd freed herself from his arms. Muttering something about him needing to take better care of himself, she got out of bed and put on the first garment she found on the floor to cover the bare essentials - which happened to be Michael's shirt - and ordered him to go take a shower while she fixed them both something to eat. Michael, enjoying the show, had smiled up at her and tried to persuade her to join him. She wouldn't be deterred though, "Food first."

She made quite a picture, standing there with her arms crossed and a stern look on her face. Her tough as nails attitude only slightly diminished by the little girl look she sported with her hair all disheveled and his shirt hanging loosely around her lithe frame, stopping just above her knees. He couldn't help but smile at her, "You're wearing my clothes".

She'd looked down at herself as if only just realising he was right, "I'll get to that too". And then she had told him again to go shower. He gave in a little reluctantly and when Nikita heard the door to the bathroom shut behind him the reality of their situation hit her like a ton of bricks, nailing her to the floor.

This all was going very fast. She liked it, she felt comfortable when she was with him, safe. She always had, but didn't know for sure if she should. Only 24 hours ago… and now. They really did need to talk. The sooner the better.

And she couldn't just keep standing there either, fidgeting with a sleeve of the shirt she needed to give back to him or else he'd have nothing to wear besides his pants. She stripped out of it, found her own clothes from last night and put them on again. Nervous energy spilling from her, she then stripped the bed from its sheets, put them in the laundry and laid out clean ones to make the bed later. She needed to start cooking too if she wanted to present Michael with anything to eat when he got out of the shower like she'd told him she would. She got to work, but it did nothing to calm her nerves. Michael returning to the room sooner than she'd expected put her on edge even further.


They ate their belated breakfast in relative silence. Both not quite sure how to address the elephant that seemed to have suddenly appeared in the room with them, they mostly stuck to pleasantries. Gone was the comfortable togetherness they had had between them this morning in bed. Something had changed in her the short time Michael had not been in her presence. And even though they had talked things out a little bit last night, Michael had a suspicion that despite Nikita's adamance that they not mince a lot of words on the subject then, they should now.

They had already decided they would talk earlier and while he watched her pushing some of her food around on her plate, he felt tension radiating off of her in waves. Declaring things are different in the soft lamplight the evening before and believing they really are in the cold light of day this morning seemed to be no easy feat. Things just didn't work that way, no matter how much you might want them to. In only a few hours time they had gone from one end of the spectrum to the other. He wished he could take back the last couple of days and do everything differently… Everything except last night. He probably should have told her he loved her a lot sooner than when he had and take it from there. But his wish wasn't the way to deal with the situation at hand any more than her declaration from last night was.

The clanging of Nikita's cutlery against her plate as she put it down signaled the end of their meal together. Michael looked up at her beautiful eyes, now shifty with tension, got to his feet and reached for her hand. Pulling her up and towards him, he looked at her intently. He reached out to cup her cheek, his thumb stroking over her cheekbone. Nikita closed her eyes and relaxed the hand that had the hem of her sweater fisted into a ball. "You go take a shower, I'll clean up", he told her in a soothing voice, "We'll talk after, okay?". She nodded her head, and when he lifted her chin to kiss her softly, the hand that had still been worrying her sweater came up over his shoulder. Their kiss broke and Michael hugged her to him. Nikita let out a sigh and let him hold her for a bit, feeling some of the nervous energy leaking out of her at being in his arms again. A few minutes later Michael let out a sigh of his own. He tightened his arms around her for a second and whispered to her to go, punctuating his words with a kiss to her cheek.