Adventure time in shitty Hoenn
So…yeah been over a year sorry but good news just beat Ultra Sun and found motivation frankly I liked the changes except for Spoiler Alert the fact they took away that touching scene on Exeggutor island almost flew into a half-drunk rage when the ferry driver said no Lillie couldn't come. Well this isn't the melancholy chapter I was working on this is humor if you couldn't tell by the title anyway i'm writing this around one in the morning seems I get motivated to write while slightly drunk and sleep deprived enjoy.
Rain poured down on two unfortunate souls who were dumb enough to head up to Fortree City from Mauville City via Route…. actually, Helio couldn't remember the number he decided to name it Route Where Arceus Takes a Piss he was a champion he could do that right?
"Oh, fuck you Hoenn and the bitch that bore you!"
"Very mature Helio cuss out the region that'll make everything better."
"Oh, come on Lillie it can't make it worse."
It was at that exact moment that Hoenn decided to give Helio a stiff middle finger as thunder boomed off right above their heads and lightning began to flash near the small canyon they were currently heading in the direction of.
Helio sighed and began to look around the overly tall grass to find a place to duck out apparently his luck didn't completely suck balls as he was able to find a large bush that would be perfect for making a secret base. "There I think I can have Gardevoir use Secret Power on that bush and we can duck inside and wait till it dies down."
Lillie saw the bush and just grumbled as Helio led the way truth be told she was as miserable as he was being dressed in white and soaked did that to a girl especially when all these perverted bug trainers kept jumping out randomly and challenging either her or Helio to battle making them stay out in the rain even longer. Plus, she was fairly certain most did that just to try to catch an eye full of her since her clothes were so wet they were close to see through but that was only a second cause of her irritation as cause number one was released from Helio's Poke ball.
"Why her I mean I know we came to this region to get away and catch some new Pokemon but why…. her." Lillie could only glare as the female Gardevoir, or Slutevoir as she had nicknamed Helio's Pokemon in her mind, immediately latched onto Helio's arm and pushed it between her breasts.
Helio just looked down in embarrassment as Gardevoir affectionately rubbed her head on his shoulder "Look I know you two don't get along, but you got to admit her power is damn useful in a situation like this."
Lillie did have to acknowledge this as a door size hole opened in bush allowing them to walk in…until it closed in her face before she could walk in trapping her outside. Lillie prided herself on keeping control of her temper but at this moment she couldn't take it anymore "HELIO tell Slutevoir to open this bush or I'll shove something up hers!"
Helio turned to see the closed bush and gave Gardevoir a flat stare as she stood next to him inside acting like all was right in the world…and in her world maybe it was. Sighing Helio told her to let Lillie in which after much moping she did.
Helio watched as Lillie walked in shivering and immediately returned Slu-…err Gardevoir into her poke ball before Lillie could turn around and see Gardevoir flipping her off figuring it would not help the mood of the situation. As the two quickly changed into some dry sleeping clothes, no need for modesty they had seen everything the other had although Helio did think it was cute how Lillie still blushed when he looked at her…or maybe she was red from anger either was attractive in his mind.
"You know" Lillie said while helping Helio set up the tent. "I'm always amazed by how these Secret Bases are bigger on the inside than the outside."
"I know it's weird as hell, but I stopped caring about things like that after I read some fucked up Pokedex entries." Helio laid out the large sleeping bag they shared and crawled inside immediately appreciating the warmth when Lillie crawled in next to him.
Lillie just giggled her mood lightening a bit "Oh come on they can't be that bad."
"Want to make a bet here I'll read one." Helio pulled out the Rotomdex, or as he called it The-Satanically-Possessed-dex and cleared his throat for dramatic effect. "Cubone wears the skull of its dead mother in order to never forget her…god damn I thought you and Gladion had mommy issues."
Lillie paled a bit "Hey I'm mostly over them and your one to talk you suggested this vacation cause you were scared she'd rigged the islands with cameras."
"True but you can't deny you wanted it too and had the exact same fear." Helio countered frankly that was only part of it he needed a break from his duties as champion and since Alola's League season was still three months away they had time enough to do a little traveling and for Lillie to compete in the Hoenn Contest Championship. She had fallen in love with the contests and had even asked if Helio would compete too, but he had decided against it he figured he'd just be supportive and train a bit while adding new members to his team…which reminded him.
"By the way I know I'm going to regret asking but why do you seem to hate Gardevoir…asides from the whole locking you out in the rain thing that happened earlier?" The two had been at each other's throats since Gardevoir evolved.
Lillie only rolled her eyes "Really asides from the fact she obviously wants in your pants how about the time she threw all my clothes in a lake?"
"Okay I'll admit that was messed up"
"Or the time she blew away the bush I was peeing behind?"
"Yeah you couldn't look me in the eye for three days."
"Or the time we were staying at the Pokémon center and I woke up stuck to the ceiling naked!"
Helio laughed at that one "you got to admit that time was pretty funny hahah." Helio withered, in more way than one, under the glare Lillie shot him "Or not."
"Or not is right honestly you have to do something about her please." Lillie looked genuinely pleading as Helio could tell she really was starting to get sick of these pranks.
Helio nodded "Okay tell you what I'll talk to her in the morning let her know not to do any of that stuff anymore or she gets sent to Prof. Kukui's by PC for the rest of the trip better?"
"Better." Lillie smiled before giving Helio a kiss that he eagerly returned as they heard thunder once again rumble overhead breaking the mood.
"UGH when is this shit going to end honestly this is one of the longest routes in the entire region it better not be raining this hard for the whole way?"
Lillie just sighed "Actually I heard this route often has a lot of rain and even when it doesn't the ground stays wet for so long deep puddles form."
Helio just rolled his eyes "Wonderful."
Lillie decided to try and cheer her boyfriend up "It won't be that bad now come on read me more of those weird Pokedex entries." She knew Helio liked weird stuff, so she would play up on it.
Helio just smiled "Okay let's see here ah here we go Hypno often waits outside schools to abduct small children never to be seen again."
Lillie actually felt a little disturbed at that one "No way your making that up." As she pulled the dex out of Helio's hand and read the entry sure enough Helio had read it word for word with no embellishment. 'Dear god Faba had one of those now I'm a little disturbed as to why.'
"Well that is straight up nightmare fuel how about another these are morbidly fascinating in a way." Strange as it was Lillie couldn't kill the curiosity that had sprung up in her.
Helio took the Rotomdex and continued "Alright this one is messed up in a whole different way Absol has the power to predict natural disasters and appears to try to warn humans but is often mistaken as the source causing them to be shot on site…the hell is wrong with this region!?"
"Oh, there so cute I want to catch one." Lillie simply cued at the picture looking at the fluffy white fur. Helio began to look up the area on the dex "Well according to this there's an area near Fortree where they can be spotted so if we keep going…. wait is this why there's so much god damn rain!?"
Lillie swatted him on the shoulder "Oh hush now let's go to sleep we have a big day tomorrow getting through this route, so we want be well rested." Helio agreed and gave Lillie a good night kiss before quickly falling asleep, truth be told she really wanted an Absol not just because it was cute but because it was a Dark type a perfect counter towards Psychic types. Lillie smiled as she fell asleep Slutevoir wouldn't know what hit her.
And scene how was that some of those Pokedex references were straight up from the games so no not a random ass pull and lets face it, its just not Hoenn without the fetish pokemon having screen time right dear god almost two thirty as you might have noticed I didn't write any dialogue from Rotomdex cause I find the little bastard to be annoying anyway enjoy or I don't know rage at your computer and shoot it don't care drunk and sleepy.
