Recent Story of My Life: Broken Leg + Hospital Bed = No Writing + Crutches + No Writing + Unhappy Camper = No Writing. And all that pales in comparison to the fact that the grocery store closest to me no longer carries Minute Maid orange juice. That alone is enough to make me quit this writing hobby of mine almost altogether seeing as how my pen-name would be a cruel reminder of how I have to travel further for it.

Pre-Comment: Every writer comes at the crossroads in their writing where they have to ask themselves: "Why do I still write this?" My answer comes in the form of a 250+ number and a steadily growing fanbase of worship, adoration, and stalker-vibe type love. I sometimes wonder what kind of person that makes me, and then I remember that I don't care. Continue telling me how much you love m—er—this story, and I shall supply you with more of it. Until it's over.

Enjoy the much-awaited Chapter Ten, Devotees.


Chapter Ten: A Touch of Miscommunication

Let it never be said that Suzaku Kururugi always thought out the ramifications of every action he took completely, and or, to be perfectly honest, very smartly.

"How about the cake? The colours?" Cue excited gasp. "Suzaku! What about his dress! There's so many things to think about!" was screeched excitedly on the speaker-phone system.

And do you really need to be told just who was on the other end of the line?

Suzaku didn't respond; he was miserable.

Miserable and it was an effect of his own less-than-thought-out doing.

"Suzaku! Suzaku!"

He groaned.

Marriage? What was he thinking?

Oh. Right.

He wasn't.

This had just come half-baked out of his brain as a plot to defeat Marianne and 'win' Lelouch for the sake of winning. (With a little provocation from Shirley.) Because he wanted to, and because he could, and because his inborn competitive nature wouldn't let him live it down if he didn't.

Now that he had won… well, it was hard to come to terms with actually receiving the 'prize.'

In a very permanent and legally binding fashion.

"Suzaku! What about the bridesmaids? Will they be girls? Or, or—"

Another ecstatic squeal.

After a good, long debate with himself on whether he should inform his family of this questionably joyous news, Suzaku caved to the fact that he had no idea how to go about any of this. In the end, it turned out he didn't need to worry at all, because he thought out the ramifications of proposing at a live sports event even less than proposing in general.

No, he wasn't thinking very much at all.

Misery loved company, but Suzaku attracted it (as a result of some overriding personality traits) like it was stalking him.

"Suzaku~!"

Another groan as Suzaku ran his hands through his hair. "What is it, Kaguya? No, I haven't figured out any of those things. It just… it just happened, okay? An impulse."

An impulse that won the little tug-o-war with Marianne but earned him a bigger problem as well as an environmentally unfriendly one. Only twelve hours after the proposal, his email inbox was flooded with congratulatory letter after congratulatory letter. Judging by how Nina was duct-taping a few boxes marked for recycling, the news had reached the ears of just about everyone living within borders of the country and possibly a few out of if Tianzi's handwritten congratulations had anything to say about it.

As a result, Suzaku had finally devised a recycling program in the idle time he spent trying not to think about the extremely huge mess he had gotten himself into.

The rest of the day had been spent escaping reality, making paper airplanes, escaping reality, being unproductive by doing zero work, escaping reality, and listening to his cousin gush non-stop about the eventual wedding. (He had eventually given up on trying to make her stop.)

The last one was a little counter-productive to a good deal of the former.

Yes, Suzaku was miserable.

"You'll have to meet his family!"

Scratch that.

Suzaku was now more miserable.

(Granted that the rest of his family was as psychotic as Marianne was.)

(Which a few of them were.)

He rubbed his temple. "Kaguya, it's not that big of a—"

"Don't you dare say it's 'not a big deal' Kururugi Suzaku! This IS a big deal! A VERY big deal! You're getting MARRIED! How can it NOT be a big deal!?"

Suzaku sighed.

He knew he crossed lines, but the explicit joy of seeing Lelouch just about die from every kind of embarrassment known to man (and men in particular) and seeing Marianne's face light up with the look of defeat was well worth it.

iWin, Marianne, iWin.

"Suzaku! Suzaku!"

Suzaku groaned and hissed out a, "What?"

"Don't forget the honeymoon!"

iLose.

More than you know.


"Love and marriage~ Love and marriage~"

"SHUT UP!"

It didn't take any imagination at all to picture the scene at hand.

"—like a horse and—"

"SHUT UP!"

CC giggled, cycling her legs in the air, tearing up, gasping for breath, coughing, and regaining composure. When she had calmed down enough, she started the cycle all over again. Rinse and repeat.

When she opened her mouth to ridicule him more, the doorbell rang.

Springing to her feet, CC skipped downstairs with a cheerful, "I'll get it~!"

A few moments later, she called up for him, "Lulu! Your lover's here to see you!"

Lelouch groaned and rolled over before pushing himself up off the bed and heading downstairs to—

Lights.

Cameras.

Microphone.

Deer-in-the-headlights reaction.

"Mr Lamperouge, what does it feel like to be engaged to the CEO of the Sakura Group?"

"I—What!? How do you—"

"—how long have you two been seeing each—"

"That's—"

"—is this a shotgun wedding? How do your pa—"

"A what? How can that even be possi—?"

"Have you saved yourself just for—?"

Lelouch shut the door.

For a brief moment, all he could think was: Mmmm, cyanide.

A giggle came from somewhere on the couch.

"I guess you really do like it when they 'jump the gun' on you."

"CC, I'm going to—"

"Going to what, Nancy Kururugi?" she taunted. A grin was plastered to her face. "Sick your lover on me?"

Lelouch opened his mouth to say something then promptly snapped it shut and proceeded to sit and sulk on the couch. He wasn't going to fall for this trap again.

No matter how much he wanted to, to appease his frustration.

CC plopped down next to him and giggled a bit more before calming down. Leaning on his shoulder, she sighed airily and they had a quiet moment of peace together while CC came down from her high and Lelouch sat fuming silently.

"Hey, Lelouch."

"What?" he snapped.

"Can I be the Maid of Honour?"

Another fierce growl was followed up by the door to Lelouch's bedroom slamming somewhere upstairs. If you listened closely you could hear a string of curses rattling through the ventilation ducts. CC burst into another torrent of laughing before flipping on the television.

"…introducing his new fiancé, Lelouch Lamperouge, at a banquet event tonight. All guests are welcome."

CC hummed thoughtfully. "Interesting."


"Come on, buddy! You have to have a stag party! You're going to be a married man soon! You should take the opportunity to flirt around with other unmarried men before—"

"Gino," came the frosty warning.

Gino gave him that look.

Suzaku huffed and turned away.

Immunity to 'that' look: One hundred percent.

"Please? For me?"

"I think you're missing the point of a stag party by saying that, Gino."

"But I'm your best man—"

"Who decided that?"

Gino frowned, taking his arm off from around Suzaku's shoulders. It was a good thing they were in a private room otherwise the rumour mill would have to work overtime if anyone got a snapshot of that.

"Well. Who else would it be? Bride's not going to be in two places at once."

"I could always ask—"

And Suzaku promptly shut his mouth.

Well.

Who could he ask?

If he asked Rival it would be as good as saying this marriage would be legitimate to him—and that said he was marrying Lelouch because he actually harboured romantic feelings for him beyond a sadistic need for humiliation. Except he didn't. Have feelings for Lelouch, that is.

He shuddered slightly at the thought.

Gino at least knew this was all a big farce.

But then again the grin on Gino's face clearly told him he didn't think any of this was make-believe anymore. It also backed up Gino's aforementioned claim that Lelouch was 'enough to turn anyone gay.' (Which he firmly believed happened to Suzaku.)

Gino grinned. "See? Besides, if you don't let me do it, I'm going to rat you out to my boss on how you cheated on three-sixty-one two wee—"

"Okay! Fine, you win!"

"And that's what I like to hear," Gino remarked triumphantly before tugging on Suzaku's collar to put it in order.

Really.

What was Suzaku doing here?

At a public party where 'everyone was welcome' to celebrate his engagement to another man.

While he couldn't remember the specific details, he might have remembered when he agreed to this as Nina had walked in his office and listed off a bunch of things that needed his approval or attention of some sort. Unfortunately she came at the worst possible time when Suzaku was too occupied making his seventh paper airplane more aerodynamic than the last six, and thus the only thing you could feasibly get out of him was: 'Uh-huh, uh-huh, sure'—and other variations of.

Since it was designed to 'formally introduce' Lelouch to the society Suzaku generally dealt with on a day to day basis, Suzaku took the liberty of not telling Lelouch about it. And if anyone asked, Lelouch was at home. Sick. Maybe, just maybe, someone would take pity on him and force him away from this party to take care of a sick-but-not Lelouch. At that point in time Suzaku would just go home and try to think how he could escape his wedding day set in two months time.

An arm was slung around his shoulders while he looked in the mirror to fix his tie. Gino was having just a bit too much fun with all this—now thoroughly convinced Suzaku wasn't 'pretending to be queer' for kicks.

Marriage was crossing just a few lines, after all.

Normal people didn't pretend to propose to their fake-boyfriends.

Hell, normal people didn't pretend to be gay for kicks.

(The mere fact that normality didn't stop Suzaku from doing all of that was like a game of 'spot the red flag.')

"Lighten up, Suzaku! Even if your boy-toy—" Yes, Gino had read the headline from a while ago and never ceased to call Lelouch that behind his back since. "—isn't here tonight, at least you can enjoy yourself. For instance, you can look at all the hot chicks!"

Suzaku groaned.

"Then again, I guess you're not really into chicks. I suppose there'll be some hot guy—"

"Gino!"

"Wait, does this mean there'll have to be male strippers at your stag?"

Suzaku shrugged Gino's arm off and walked towards the door, tugging his tie in order. "Look, Weinberg, don't make such a big deal out of this." Suzaku opened the door. "It's not like I actua—"

And then something caught his eye.

Well.

A someone to be exact.

Gino's arm found its way around his shoulders again. He whistled. "If I didn't know any better, that's Bradley from public relations trying to get to first with your boy on the other side of the room."

And it was true.

In a corner Luciano Bradley had a drink in hand and was leaning over Lelouch, who looked like a terrified rabbit trying, and failing, to hide some obvious discomfort. (It was pretty easy for Suzaku to pick that out since he was the cause of such discomfort a good majority of the time.)

"Or… maybe he's trying to hit a home run?" Gino mused, cupping a hand to his chin in thought.

Suzaku's first reaction was, more or less: Huh, didn't know Bradley swung that way.

The second was what you were probably expecting.

And suddenly Luciano and Lelouch weren't on the other side of the room anymore, but instead right in front of him. Well, one of them was right in front of him and Luciano was on the floor cursing up a storm while holding his face in sheer agony.

It took a while for his subordinate from public relations to get a hold of himself and the situation he was now in. When he did, he glared up at Suzaku through the tears swimming in his eyes.

"What the hell is wrong with you, man!?" pierced the gentle murmur and atmosphere of the room.

Heads turned.

The sound of music stopped because band in the corner had abandoned their job momentarily to indulge in much more interesting pursuits. Like watching the start of a very good train wreck. Never mind the fact that Luciano had just yelled at his boss, it was the fact that Suzaku had, for the first time in his life, decked someone. Luciano was just that type of yell-at-your-boss kind-of guy, but Suzaku wasn't the punch-people-for-fun type of person.

One way or another, it, yes, turned into one of those scenes.

(And was just as public as the one Lelouch experienced with Emily and Kallen way way back.)

"Sorry, I saw stupidity on your face and was trying to help you get rid of it."

Luciano felt his lip uncertainly and drew back bloodied fingers. He swore again loudly. "For crying out loud, buddy, it's not like he's your—"

As Luciano's eyes widened suddenly, you could tell this was where that 'Oh' moment finally hit him.

And then he swore again.

Quite loudly.

He took a glance around at everyone watching the spectacle—who now consisted of the entire room looking on in appalled shock and or horror—then back to Suzaku. Groaning loudly, he turned on his heel and walked toward the exit.

"Congrats on your engagement, Kururugi—you lucky dog; I'll see you on Monday, boss."

"See you on Monday, Bradley."

Suzaku sighed in relief for a moment.

Just a moment because he now had to deal with the entirety of the room still looking on with nothing better to do.

And then a glaring pitch from the speakers set up everywhere made everyone wince.

"Sorry about that, folks, but it's time to get on with the show~!" Gino announced from the podium, centre stage with a microphone. Everyone turned appropriately to give him their (almost) undivided attention. (A few were still secretly watching Suzaku and Lelouch out of the corner of their eyes for more drama.)

Thankful for the distraction, Suzaku turned back to Lelouch—who looked like he wasn't quite sure what to do with himself—and sighed.

"Are you alright, Lelouch?"

"More or less. We were just talking about baking."

Pause.

Blink.

"Baking?"

"Yeah, kind of. Sounded like he really likes baking. He was wondering what size oven I have, and how many cream pies it would fit. I told him I had an industrial-size oven back home and he could come look at it sometime if he wanted to."

Suddenly Suzaku wanted to go hunt down Bradley and find him a nice hospital for three weeks of vacation.

Without pay.

"Lelouch, you're not allowed to talk to him ever again."

"Why n—"

"Just don't. If you—just don't."

"But—"

Suzaku cupped his face and—

Kicked Puppy Look. All rights reserved.

"Please?"

As expected, Lelouch shied away (with a split-second look of horror) from his touch and muttered his compliance before looking away out the nearby window at the blinking lights of Tokyo. He folded his arms, looking mildly offended and more than just a little pissed off.

Wait. A little what?

Uh oh.

"What's wrong?" Suzaku asked, frowning.

"Why didn't you tell me you had this planned?"

He didn't. Really.

Tonight was all Gino and Kaguya's doing. He was just the victim of it being informed roughly forty-five minutes before arriving and getting dressed in a private room nearby.

"Look, I—"

"Hey, Romeo and Juliet, I hate to interrupt, but Mr Weinberg's running out of things to say covering for your little lover's spat. So stop keeping the rest of us waiting, will you?"

Suzaku turned and saw the girl with the big rack that Lelouch was shacking up with. She was wearing a red dress with a spider lily (weren't those poisonous?) tied up in her hair and looked like Christmas come early. In more than one way. What was her name again? Fruitopia? Miss E Cup?

Whatever; it wasn't important anyway.

Lelouch sighed. "CC, what are you doing here? I thought you weren't coming. Why did you come?"

Oh, so it was CC.

Go figure.

CC shrugged innocently. "Because I wanted to. Anyway, you should take over for Gino before things get worse."

"What do you mean—?"

"—for the ride of his life on hot red! And let me tell you, from then on, it was like trying to pry away a cat from its scratching post with Suzaku and Lelouch!"

Suzaku wiped a hand over his face before marching over to the stage where the spotlight was cast over Gino. Lelouch was right behind him.

When Gino caught sight of Suzaku's (probably angry) face, he smiled courteously and turned back to the ground, stepping aside for the pair approaching the stage. "And here's the man of the hour to introduce the finest goods this side of—"

"Thank you, Gino," Suzaku cut off.

The crowd chuckled good-naturedly.

Gino saluted him before bowing and sitting down off to the side.

"Everyone, thanks for coming out tonight on such short notice—"

"Silly! We've all known about this almost two weeks ago!"

Suzaku turned to Gino—who smiled sheepishly.

"Well, never mind then. I'd like you all to meet my beloved fiancé, Lelouch Lamperouge," he introduced, pulling Lelouch closer to him by slipping an arm around his waist.

Lelouch stiffened, squirming helplessly as he smiled stiffly at the crowd and nodded his head at them.

"He's a bit shy, so don't expect too much out of him. It took everything I had to figure out what colour of—"

"Suzaku!" Lelouch scolded—eyes wide with horror as his face turned steadily darker.

The crowd giggled again.

Leaning in quickly, Suzaku kissed his ear and sensually whispered, "Sorry, about that, love."

Lelouch jerked away from him and clapped a hand over his ear. His eyes went from the on-looking crowd to Suzaku and back again—causing his flush to deepen to an almost imperceptible scarlet.

The crowd cooed at the sentiment.

The mass of green in the back shook with ill-contained laughter.

Suzaku held back the desire to just bust out laughing himself. It had all suddenly come back to him why he was doing this in the first place—and that was something he would probably need to survive tonight.

"He's really very shy. Well, anyway, since I wasn't told a whole lot about tonight, I'll hand the reigns back over to Gino so we can get on with our night."

Gino sprung out of his seat and took the microphone from Suzaku eagerly. "Suzaku, if you want, I have some reigns of a different sort you can borrow for later," he said, wagging his eyebrows.

Although Suzaku chuckled in good humour, in his head he was calculating how much money it'd set him back to see Gino tortured over open fire. Just a bit. But when he turned to Lelouch to see just how much he was looking like he'd never lose that mortified expression on his face, suddenly everything was fine.

"For tonight, we have a bunch of games planned for everyone before dinner starts! The first is a scavenger hunt! There are only three—" Gino demonstrated with his fingers. "—items on this list you'll need and it's different for every group! Some tell you outright what you need while others will give clues and hints to where you'll find them. We'll be sorted into groups of three—just so these two don't run off on us somewhere and leave us hanging."

Gino winked at him.

The crowd giggled again.

"And, you'll want to try your very best at winning this game because there's a prize in it for you!"

Suzaku had a bad feeling about this.


"Girls, I think I may be in love," Milly declared.

Shirley sighed as she read over the list of items they needed: A toothbrush, a waffle-iron, and cherry red lipstick. It wasn't, overall, such a bad list to compile, but really, a waffle-iron?

A waffle-iron?

She had taken the liberty to voice this complaint more than once.

Milly sighed. "It's genius! This man, Weinberg, he's worth his salt in event planning!"

Another light sigh. "Milly, just where are we going to find a waffle-iron? I mean, I have lipstick in my purse—" (And yes, it was the same ugly red purse she had when meeting Lelouch for the first time.) "—but what about the… toothbrush and waffle-iron?"

There was a pause of silence before a polite cough from the left of them caused them both to look over.

Shirley blushed. She had forgotten the other girl was there. Again. Nina. Suzaku's secretary who probably had better things to do tonight but ended up coming anyway. After all, from all her duties and responsibilities within the company Suzaku told Shirley about, she had no doubt in her mind Nina was a good reason the Sakura Group ran as well as it did.

Suzaku wasn't known for his superior organizational skills or other similar type 'A' qualities after all.

"Mr Kururugi has both up in his room on the top floor. I… uh… have keys."

Milly squealed in glee and linked her arm with the bespectacled secretary and dragging her towards the nearest elevator, pushing the 'Up' button multiple times as if willing it to come faster. "You, Miss, are amazing. Come on, Shirley time's wasting and I intend to win this thing!"

And this overshadowed the question of just why Suzaku had a waffle-iron up in his room.

Another sigh.

Shuffling around in her purse, she found her lipstick and sighed again.

It was light pink.


"I'd rather keep that to our private lives, Suzaku."

"Just a tiny one, Lelouch? It's for the scavenger hunt."

"Suzaku, I don't—"

"I don't get why you're so uptight about it, Lelouch; you'll be kissing Suzaku in front of hundreds of people at the ceremony anyway. In a beautiful white wedding dress to boot."

Lelouch had spent the past two weeks trying to forget that.

Thanks Weinberg.

Really, thanks.

Lelouch didn't want to think about that.

He didn't want to think about anything right now.

Especially this stupid scavenger hunt this blonde idiot next to him had come up with.

By a 'lucky coincidence,' Gino had been sorted into their group and, as a result, had been given an advanced search list. The reasoning behind this was that the couple of the hour weren't allowed to win. As a code of conduct. It didn't help that Gino was keeping his mouth shut on what the prize for all this nonsense could possibly be.

Lelouch folded his arms and Suzaku sighed, smoothing out the crumpled piece of paper that was their scavenger list on his lap.

" 'One steamy hot kiss.' 'One declaration of love and devotion.' 'One pack of gum.' "

None of them mentioned how out-of-place the third item was, but they all thought it. (Except for maybe Gino, who shrugged and simply stated that he 'wanted gum.')

"I think we've got this if only—"

"No," Lelouch cut off stubbornly.

Under normal circumstances, Lelouch would've done everything possible to win. They were straightforward, easy tasks and objects after all. Within his life he had showered girls with love, devotion, and kisses. Had Suzaku been a girl, this would've all been in the bag.

However, this situation was far from normal and Suzaku was not a girl.

Far.

From.

It.

Gino sighed. "Man, I should've gone with the girls. So much for that cash pri—"

"I'll do it." Getting up, Lelouch headed over to the stairway.

All hail selective hearing.

There was a pause of shocked silence for the other two to catch up to what just happened.

"You'll do… Really?" Suzaku asked (genuinely surprised at this three-sixty).

It took everything Lelouch had to not think about actually going through with it, because if he did, he knew he wouldn't have the resolve to finish what he started. If he did he knew he'd start thinking about that time in the mall, and Mao, and—

Oh God.

Too late.

And then arms circled him from behind. "I'm very happy, Lelouch."

It was no big surprise that Lelouch's homophobia kicked in and he yelped like a little girl and jerked away from Suzaku's grip into freedom—

—as well as a slight freefall down a small flight of stairs.

"Lelouch!"

And then there was pain.


"Red underwear? Is Weinberg insane or just perverted?" Kallen groused.

CC giggled and snatched the slip of paper away, reading the list (if you could call it that) of two for the ninth time that night. Due to the uneven number, their group had no third and Gino had given them a special list to do instead—consisting of only two items, but items that were questionably harder to obtain.

The lollipop she had hoodwinked off a security guard they met earlier shifted from one side of her mouth to the other.

"I'd say a bit of both. It's really endearing actually."

"I can't understand why you aren't together with him. Lelouch is gay—and getting married to boot. Give him up already." Under her breath, Kallen muttered something like, "I know I have."

CC giggled again as a response.

In the first five minutes of officially meeting the red-haired tornado that was Kallen Stadtfeld (who arrived to the party late, and was on vacation in Tokyo until after the wedding ceremony) for the first time, CC had deduced that Kallen already made the assumption that she was hopelessly infatuated with Lelouch.

Pffft.

Only part true.

If his credit card counted as part of him, that is.

(She was pretty good at forging his signature for it by now too; so really, there was no point in getting her own at this stage.)

"Well then, red panties. Off with it."

Kallen coloured and folded her arms self-consciously. "W-What makes you think they're red?"

"Because I'm all-knowing." And because Kallen's red dress was of the sort that occasionally let the perceptive viewer slip peeks at it from an angle. "So, are they coming off voluntarily or am I going to have to retrieve them?"

Gritting her teeth, Kallen looked around them in the deserted hallway on the fifth floor of the Sakura Group's headquarters. While renting out an entire building for nightly festivities would've cost an arm and a leg, Sakura HQ was practically free.

The actual suggestion to use the building free-of-charge came (somewhat unsurprisingly) from Lelouch.

Grudgingly she pulled aside the red, slinky dress she was wearing before looking up at CC with a blush tinting her cheeks. "No peeking."

At her command, CC turned around and sighed as she heard fabric shuffle.

"So, I heard you never made it to home base with Lelouch."

There was a snap and a hiss of pain.

CC giggled again. "Oooh. I'm tempted to see what kind of skivvies you got going there, Stadtfeld. I might grab a pair myself."

"You're irritating to the core, you know that?" Kallen informed as CC felt Kallen's underwear hit the back of her head.

Turning around, CC bent down to pick up the angrily-discarded garment and shook it in the air slightly.

Smiling, she tilted her head just so. "But I'm pretty as a pearl on the outside. What's next?"


"This may sting a little."

In Lelouch's experience, nothing ever involving rubbing alcohol stung just a little. Childhood experiences and slightly embellished memories told him that much. Doctors always told him that needles only stung a little but it didn't make a difference in how fast he would run when they would pop one on him.

(A trait that remains even today.)

Lelouch scowled his disbelief accordingly.

So when that cotton swab Suzaku was holding to sterilize the wound came closer, Lelouch started to back away further onto the bed and into the corner.

Suzaku frowned slightly at this. "This scrape isn't going to disinfect itself." And then a grin split his lips. "I could always kiss it better instead, you know."

He could.

He really could.

And, knowing Suzaku, he probably would.

But, to put the end of that train of thought very simply: No way in Hell.

And so, rather reluctantly, Lelouch moved back closer to the edge of the bed exposing the (in his personal opinion) not-that-bad wound he received from successfully escaping sexual harassment—only to suffer in other ways.

Gino had been sent off to find help while Suzaku took care of Lelouch—who had refused being carried at least six times before Suzaku simply slung him over his shoulder like a sack of rice.

This was why they were now on the top floor in Suzaku's bedroom to make good use of the first-aid kit that was always well-stocked.

"I'll count to three then, alright?"

Lelouch closed his eyes and tried not to think about how much it would hurt in th—

"Three."


"AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

A unanimous feeling echoed among all those present upon hearing that agonized screech after the door to Suzaku's office opened quietly. (Well, not really all that quietly, but the small squeak the door made upon opening it paled in comparison to the shriek still bouncing off the walls.) If Pandora's Box ever had a sound-effect once it opened, this was surely the closest thing you were going to get to that.

All three of them paused on the threshold to Suzaku's office (to appreciate, shiver, and question vehemently why they were doing something morally wrong in order to win such a stupid game).

"I don't think—"

"Hush, Shirley; I intend to win this game."

Of course she did.

This was Milly Ashford.

Lose and every synonym or relative of had no place in an Ashford's dictionary—least of all Milly Ashford's. And while Shirley had known this ever since graduating from high school with her Student Council President, she still couldn't suppress the urge to point out the better part of valour that included rationality, common sense, and just a touch of decency for others' privacy. She, for one, wouldn't cry over losing a silly little game intended to entertain guests.

But this was Milly Ashford.

After all.

Shirley sighed appropriately and pursed her lips at another shriek coming from deeper into Suzaku's office. She had only been here a few times, but it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that those screams were coming from Suzaku's temporary-not-so-temporary bedroom.

It took even less time to figure out just whom that colourful score of music was coming from.

Nina started to turn around—her face slightly flushed. "Maybe we should go—it sounds like—"

"Nonsense!" Milly reproached quietly, careful not to speak too loudly lest they be overheard by the occupants in the next room over. "I wonder how they lost their third wheel, though. Impressive," she complimented errantly before stepping across the threshold into the cool, royal blue interior that was Suzaku's office.

"Suzaku~! It hurts! Stop it!"

Freeze.

And this was a good time where all three of them paused to think.

(About three very different things.)

Shirley was beginning to get second thoughts about this. After all, Suzaku and Lelouch were just in the other room, probably having—

"AAAHHHHHHH!"

She turned bright red. "Milly!" she hissed. "Let's forget about winning, we probably aren't even going to get anything for—"

The sight of Milly walking right up to the bedroom door and pressing her ear right against it made Shirley freeze up internally—as if she were the one with her ear pressed against that wall listening to—listening to—oh God, listening to that.

Turning to Nina—who had found the waffle-iron and was now retrieving a toothbrush from the bathroom—Shirley quickly realized she would get no help in reigning in her notoriously snoopy friend. So, with much courage she approached the bedroom door and tugged on Milly—who was grinning ear to ear.

"You're so sensitive, Lelouch; no tolerance to pain at all."

"I don't walk around trying to injure myself so I don't think I have any problems there."

Suzaku laughed. "I guess so. So, shall I continue? This won't get any better if I don't."

There was a moment of silence.

"Lelouch…"

"Fine! Just… just be gentle."

There was a sharp intake of breath.

Then the screech—which devolved into a mutated form of bawling.

Shirley pulled harder. Milly giggled silently and turned to look at Shirley. Pointing at Nina (whose face matched her hair perfectly to resemble Christmas), Shirley made motions towards the door and signs that they should leave.

Milly pouted.

Shirley's grip on the girl's arm tightened.

Now, Ashford.

Shoulders slumping, Milly finally gave in and they all headed back towards the door, slipping outside quietly. The door to Suzaku's office clicked shut—as if they had never been there in the first place.

(Sans one waffle-iron and toothbrush.)

Milly smiled triumphantly as Nina handed her the unplugged waffle-iron and still-packaged toothbrush. "Well, girls, I think we all have a good idea of Kururugi's skills in the bedroom. Now let's go win this thing and get his little sweetheart to spill the details."


Lelouch was in pain.

He had tripped and fallen down a flight of stairs and managed to come out with minor scrapes, bruises, and a sprained ankle. In the aftermath of what was an unfortunate accident, Lelouch was promptly whisked away to the top floor in order to have his ankle properly 'sorted out' along with the rest of the cuts and bruises he had managed to obtain.

For Lelouch and his low tolerance (and slight fear) of any sort of physical pain, it was the worst experience in his entire life.

He now harboured a strong dislike of rubbing alcohol.

"I'm really sorry, Lelouch; this is all my fault."

Damn right it is, Mr Sexual-Assault-in-Stairways!

On the elevator ride down from the Suzaku's office suite on the top floor, Lelouch had envisioned at least thirty ways to murder Suzaku and make it look like an accident. Or at least blame Gino for it.

It was a good cover, you had to admit.

"I—You—F—It's fine… don't worry about it. I forgive you. It'll heal in time."

The supportive arm around him tightened and Suzaku leaned in close. "That's my Lelouch, so forgiving."

And so violently inclined.

Fortunately God knew what he was doing by giving him the physical capability and ferocity of a newborn kitten. It was also a good thing he didn't happen to have any super-human ability to make up for it accompanied by a mean grudge against the world providing him a reason to use it.

That would just be tragic.

Lelouch wanted to strangle Suzaku.

Instead he turned away and was forced to be content with imagining it. It was truly a pity that Lelouch couldn't even push this lunatic away because he couldn't walk on his own. When he thought about that it made him antsy to be in the company of others.

Upon approaching—and opening—the doors to the banquet hall, the low murmur of the present crowd died down to a silent hush. Everyone was all-smiles and a few were even blushing. Onstage Gino and Milly (uh oh) were exchanging words with each other.

Stepping aside, Gino grabbed everyone's attention by tapping the microphone. All heads turned back around.

"Everyone, I'd like to propose a toast to the very happy couple—and I think further congratulations are in order for one Suzaku Kururugi on an especially momentous milestone in his relationship with his beloved Lelouch." He raised his glass of wine. "To the happy couple!"

Lelouch had the distinct feeling he didn't like where this was all going.


Comments:

Ten chapters. I can't believe "Liar Liar" has made it so far. Actually, I'm more surprised that I've made it so far. Writing this is like exposing myself to—anyway, I'm not going to elaborate, use your imaginations. So, because—believe it or not—I'm genuinely curious, tell me about what your favourite chapter (or character) has been so far. First plot-wise (HA) and second title-wise. I think I'm doing something right. A specific scene works too.

After reading over all your weird food experiences of the world from the last chapter, I can honest to goodness say that I've already heard, tried, and or seen just about all of them. A few are, in fact, some of my favourite foods. Mixing food is just weird and was disqualified.

Anyway, I had a lot of time to think about what other culinary experiences I could extort from you all and am curious about your favourite kind of chicken wing. I know a place that serves over forty different kinds. Flavours ranging from condiments to jalapeno--and all for a dime a wing. I strongly suggest not getting any of the mixed ones.

Please R&R. (See Pre-Comment.)

- Minute Maid

Beverage of Queens