"So what're you going to do now that Link and Tracy are together?" he asks when he stops at a red light.
"What do you mean?"
"The show. They'll be dancing together and that leaves you without a partner."
"I guess I need to find someone new to dance with." He stops in front of my house and I stop him from getting out of the car. "I don't have a problem with you Peetee, but if my mother sees you she'll flip. So I'll see you at school tomorrow."
"I'll be in detention tomorrow. It's a hot spot. Maybe you could check it out."
"I'll think about it." I walk to my door and go inside. "Mom I'm home!" I yell, but there is no answering call. I search for her until I find her in the kitchen face down on the table, snoring lightly with an empty bottle of whiskey and a shot glass sit beside her head. "Ew!" I scoff. When I go to my room I grab my pajamas, then I go to the bathroom and relax in a bath of steam and bubbles.
Eventually the water gets cold and I put on my pajamas and go to bed.
All of the events of yesterday rush back to me when I wake up the next day. I rush to wash my hair - something I forgot to do last night - and blow dry it. I don't feel like doing anything special to my hair, so I pull it into two buns. After looking through my wardrobe four times I settle on a pink dress and white flats.
"Mom." I chant as I try to wake her from her drunken slumber. This is the reason why I've never wanted to try alcohol. There's nothing good about the stuff.
When she finally opens her eyes it's to glare at me for waking her. "What could you possibly be waking me up for?"
"Mom I need a ride to school."
"Then don't go, but leave me alone."
"But Mom I have to go. It's school."
"I don't give a damn Amber!" She roars and I jump back. "You're old enough to find your way so shut up and do it. I've been babying you too long, but that ends today. You will find a ride or walk to school."
"But Mom school's-" she rears up and slaps me across the cheek. Tears well in my eyes and I run out of the house with nothing.
The walk to school had been a real drag. When I walk in class Mr. Owens tries to embarrass me by asking about the lesson I clearly wasn't there for.
"Miss Von Tussel would you like to explain to the class Pythagorean's theory or would you take detention for cutting my class?"
"I'll take detention Mr. Owens." He hands me my slip and I resist the urge to insult him.
I take my time going to detention, because I'm nervous. When I do enter the room I'm assaulted by the loud music playing and the many students dancing. The only four I recognize are Tracy, Link, Seaweed and Penny. There is no Peetee in sight; but there are people glaring at me, so I rush over to the people I know. Everyone seems shocked to see me in detention.
"What're you doing here Amber?" Tracy demands.
"Mr. Owens gave me detention." I reply simply.
"Wow! I never thought I'd see the day that Amber Von Tussel would get caught being a hag." Penny remarks and Seaweed and Link laugh. "Amber I would say go find someone stupid to pretend you're friends with, but everyone knows you and your mother are snakes. Maybe you should leave us alone."
"Look I know I've been a real troll, but I want to make amends." They each look at each other before scrutinizing me.
"Why?!" Link asks.
"I don't know. Why does there have to be a reason for everything? Can't people change?" I ask.
"Yeah," someone behind me says and I come face to face with Peetee.
"Hey." I breathe out and he smiles like someone that knows what effect he has on me.
"How's it hangin'?" he asks and Seaweed steps into the conversation.
"Y'all know each other?"
"Yeah. I met her yesterday at the pageant. Amber's pretty cool."
"Thanks." I say and he winks at me.
"Oh brother." Penny mumbles behind me.
"Well now we know why she's being so nice. She met my cousin Peetee." Seaweed explains.
"I didn't know you had family that went here Seaweed. Thanks for telling me." she says, her words laced in sarcasm.
"I'm sorry baby. It just sorta slipped my mind," he says, pulling her into his arms and kissing her softly on the lips.
"Aw!" Tracy says as if it's not totally gross and inappropriate to make out with your boyfriend in public.
"How about we move where there's more space and get to dancing." Peetee suggests, grabbing my hand and leading me to where other people are dancing. A slow song comes on and Peetee grabs my waist and pulls me into him.
"I'm sure you were taught to dance half a foot apart, but here we don't do that. So, wrap your arms around my neck, let me lead you and we'll move as one." I follow his instructions and let the music take me. All I feel is his strong body guiding me as I stare into his eyes. This moment here with him brightens my day. "I told you it wasn't hard." But your muscles are, is what I don't say.
"You were right. I've never felt so free." I whisper, because I feel that if I speak too loud it might break the spell we're under.
"That's what dancing's for." He spins me and pulls me flush against him.
"I could get used to this." I say and too soon the song ends and a more upbeat one replaces it. He lets go of me moments later and I come crashing back down to reality.
"That was afro-tastic!" Tracy cheers, walking over to us. "You two have great chemistry."
"Yeah you'd almost think you two were an item." Link adds, and so begins a conversation about me as if I'm not standing in front of them.
"Amber would never even consider dating a black guy. Mrs. Von Tussle would kill her." Penny says and I remember the slap from this morning. Mom's never hit me before, but if she knew how I'm starting to feel about Peetee she might hit me again.
"Oh Penny please. How did your mother take it when she saw you kissing Seaweed on live television?" I ask and Penny's face drops.
"Penny's mom kicked her out Amber. Now does that make you feel better?" Tracy growls.
"No I wasn't trying to upset her." I try to explain, but no one wants to hear it.
"Tracy it's okay. Amber is just being her normal Amber self." The bell rings and Tracy, Link, Seaweed and Penny leave along with everyone else - everyone except Peetee.
"What's that red mark on your face?" he asks and I try to think of a lie.
"I fell when I walked out of the house this morning. I'm such a klutz." He stares at me for a while then nods.
"Okay. Now let's go catch the bus for the show." He grabs my hand and I don't protest as we walk to the bus with the rest of Corny's Council. There is almost twice as many students as there used to be.
"Amber! There are so many negroes riding with us. Do they have to sit at the back even in these circumstances?" Noreen and Doreen ask, excitedly. They carry on as if there isn't a negro standing right beside me.
"I don't know, but probably not. The only person I think would have a problem is Brad." I explain.
"So where will you sit?" Noreen - or the other one- asks.
"At the back like I always sit. What's the point of changing my routine now?"
"Yeah you're right. Oh I bet Penny will sit with Seaweed at the back of the bus."
"So what?!" I ask aggravated with their choice of conversation. I'm also angry, because I used to be the same way. I flagrantly spoke about Colored people with no remorse. In my eyes they were less than me - the way Mother taught me. I didn't fight it until meeting Peetee, I think I could love him one day and I know I'll be here for him through his hardships as a Colored.
"Nothing Amber we...um...have to go." They quickly retreat and Peetee chuckles.
"You're cute when you're mad." Peetee jokes and all of my anger and annoyance dissipates.
"You're making me blush." I say as my cheeks heat up. I get on the bus and Peetee sits a few seats away with one of his friends.
The bus slows to a stop in front of the station and a singing Seaweed and Tracy are the first ones of the bus. We all follow behind. Everyone runs to the mirrors to get ready , but I hang back until everyone else is finished.
Two hours later and I am debating whether I should ask Luanne for a ride or walk all the way across town to get home, Mom's slap from this morning has my face irritated.
Luanne gets in the car with Fender, IQ, and Becky and they all disappear into the cool evening in search of fun and adventure before they have to go home.
"Is Velma still not here to come get you?" Tracy asks when she and her motley crew exit the station.
"No." Clearly my mom isn't here if I'm still waiting! I think to myself.
"Well sucks to be you." Penny says, grabbing Seaweed and trying to pull him away before he can be his normal Seaweed self and offer his services.
"We could take you home." Link offers, but Tracy's face falls and I decide that is a bad idea. I do not want to be in a car with my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend. That is totally bogus.
"No I'm fine you guys. I'm sure she'll be along any minute. She would be very upset with me if I left without contacting her. I'm fine." Tracy's face is so open that I can see the battle warring in her head. I'm sure she's wondering if I even deserve her worry. I can also see when she makes up her mind and heads to Link's car. He follows behind her and I am left alone.
"I guess she wants me to walk home too." I mumble to myself and start on my way. Still a mile from my home my feet are screaming in agony. These heels on my feet are killing me. I'm going to have to invest in a pair tennis shoes if Mother will continue to make me walk everywhere I need to go. I pull the shoes off my feet and try to stay out of the sludge on the street. Baltimore is not exactly clean, especially at night.
As soon as I walk through the door I strip out of the ruined stockings I had subjected to utter torture.
I lock the front door and try not to make any noise to alert my mom to my presence. I'm halfway up the stairs when one squeaks and I cringe.
"Amber!" She rounds the corner and I walk back down the stairs. "Where were you? Why are you home so late?" She barely gets her words out and they're all slurred.
"I was at the station. And you didn't come get me, so I had to walk home." She rolls her eyes and takes another gulp of a horrible brown liquor that I can smell from across the room.
"Oh please. You're your mother's daughter. I know exactly what you were doing that had you out so late that the streetlights were on. You were with one of those boys from the show, because you need a new partner now that the fat girl and all of those niggers are on the show. It doesn't matter what you try. No one wants to see you Amber von Tussel, because you are just a mediocre little girl who can only get boys to listen to her when she's lying on her back." Every word hurts and tears pool in my eyes.
If I knew she felt this way I would've never been with Link. She told me it was the only way to keep him and I listened to her. Now she ridicules me for it.
"Oh is the harlot crying?" She steps into my personal space and rears back to hit me again. I flinch and she slaps me. "You're pathetic Amber. How can my daughter be so weak? You disgust me." She punches me this time and I curl into a ball and try to shield myself from her blows. Finally she leaves me alone and goes back to the living room to drink away her sorrows.
I crawl up to my room and curl up on the floor beside my bed. At least the bed can act as a barrier between us.
I pull my duvet from my bed and a pillow and cocoon myself, comforted by the warmth surrounding me. I drift off to sleep hoping that tomorrow Mother won't be so mean.
