A/N: I am very sorry for the long wait for this chapter. I know it is kind of short but I did want to post something and it was all I could come up with for the time being. My updates will be more frequent from now on and to all of you who continue reading my story thank you so much. Your comments and your support do mean a lot.
Darkness awaited her when her eyes finally opened. Her heart sped as her brain tried to comprehend where she was, what she was doing. She sat up abruptly, greatly regretting the sudden movement. Her head pounded and she placed a hand against the hot skin. It was then she realized she was wearing a white t-shirt with no bra on. Her legs were completely exposed and all that kept her modesty were her panties and the shirt that hung low against her hips. She looked around for any signs of her clothing and clues to where ever the hell she was. Panic flew around her causing her to tersely get up once more. Her balance was still affected by her weary conditions and a lamp soon fell from one of the side tables she had used to bring herself upright.
Shit.
"Tea?" A baritone voice called from above. Just the sound of his voice brought the memories of what she had done come rushing back. All the wine, all the desperation, the kissing, the want. It was all too much. The embarrassment Tea felt was none she ever faced before. She literally felt she was naked in a room with all her friends watching her. She couldn't hide anywhere now.
"Tea?" He called again this time in a more worried tone.
She couldn't answer him, hell she couldn't face him like this, almost naked in a plain white t-shirt that barely covered her thighs.
She heard footsteps echo down the beautiful glass staircase and his figure soon came into view. He watched her and she never felt so much like a deer in headlights.
"You're awake." He plainly stated watching her curiously.
"Yes." She finally gave out hoarsely. She didn't realize how dry her throat had become.
"Here let me get you some water."
He walked past her and she could feel the electricity between them as he walked towards his kitchen. She wondered if he did too.
His apartment seemed so much different now that she was sober. It didn't feel as intimidating, it almost felt homely. She heard the water go and cups being moved around. He soon came back with his promised glass of water in hand.
"Here." He placed the water and two pills in her hand. "It is aspirin; your head must be in terrible shape."
She placed the tablets in her mouth and finished the glass in one gulp.
"Where are my clothes?" She suddenly asked looking around almost frantically.
"They are upstairs." Atem simply stated watching her once again with his intense red eyes. They continued to glow in the dark room only illuminated by the moonlight that shone through his scenic windows. She remembered how they glowed before, when he had taken her.
A blush immediately creeped on her cheeks. Tea couldn't help but look away from him.
What have I done?
"Can I please have them." She stated so quietly he only heard because his house held no noise.
"Certainly." He stated leaving her once more before carrying himself up to what she assumed was his room. The staircase really was a work of art as she stared at the many curves that made up its spiral design.
Within moments she heard him come back and averted her eyes to the kitchen. This time he walked close, handing the clothing to her but allowing his hand to linger slightly.
"Thank you." Another murmur.
"The bathroom is down that hall to your right." He said pointing at a hall she hadn't noticed to the left of the kitchen.
She somehow carried herself toward the designated area and quickly locked the door. The lights turned on automatically and she soon saw her reflection.
The woman in the mirror shocked her. The Tea that looked back at her held unruly hair and a flushed face. There was a love mark on her lower collar bone, the skin held swirls of pink peppered with red. Her fingers grazed the spot and she was shocked at how sore and tender it felt. Dark bags covered her under eyes and made Tea seem even more tired than she already felt. She needed water, she needed to feel clean now.
Her actions have led her down a dirty path, this wasn't her. She didn't go after taken men. Taken men who were in love with other woman. One woman. She wasn't that woman and she only felt more sickly. Quickly Tea turned on the tap splashing cold water on her face. The dirty feeling didn't go away and she continued scrubbing her face until she was red all over.
The feeling remained.
To her left was a shower and she soon stripped of what little clothing she wore. The shower head turned on and the water sprinkled down in angry bursts. She placed the temperature up high wanting to burn away her sins. What did I just do?
She saw soap and shampoo in a small cubby created in the shower wall. It smelled like him.
She placed the shampoo on her head and massaged at the ache growing all over her scalp. It was starting to turn into a dull pain with the help of the aspirin and hot water, but pain was pain, it doesn't leave.
Her shower soon ended and she wrapped a white towel around herself. The dirty feeling came back, starting from her hands that felt unusually rough and reaching to her toes. She did not feel like the graceful ballerina she was trained to be, she felt soiled. She wasn't sure how she was going to get rid of this feeling. Perhaps she never would, perhaps it would end up turning into a dull ache just as her head had. She sighed sitting on the toilet seat. Her eyes couldn't stop the impending tears from falling, not that she really tried. They wouldn't stop and Tea did nothing to wipe them away. Her own towel, wet with the remnants of her clean shower, was now getting soaked by her filthy tears.
How could I have been so stupid? How can I possibly face him now?
She wasn't sure what she would do as he was most definitely waiting somewhere in this beautiful apartment. Waiting for her to leave most likely.
Quickly she dressed back into her panties and bra and placed her dress back on. She never felt so naked in her life. She checked the mirror one more time, this time her eyes were slightly red
from her previous crying session but nothing too bad and exited the steamy room.
As she predicted he stood by his window, his back facing her. Her arrival caused him to turn around and face her, a look of surprise drawn on his beautiful face.
"You took a shower?" He asked walking toward her. Tea couldn't help but walk back. He stopped noticing her movements.
"Is there something wrong?" His heavy voice was laced with worry. Tea's heart melted at the words.
"No, I uh I should go… this was a mistake." She turned from him heading straight for the door that stood mere feet from her. Her legs moved as quickly as they could without seeming too urgent but a hand caused her movements to stop.
She looked down to see Atem holding her wrist with an almost desperate look on his face.
"Please." He breathed in almost a whisper. "Stay."
She looked at him, she wasn't sure what she could see in his eyes. Was it lust? Was it want? Perhaps need?
All Tea knew was that she couldn't stay, she had to leave this man behind, a man that wasn't hers. She had just committed an act of sin no woman should ever face. She had just become the other woman. It wasn't fair, to have him look at her like that. To be able to say those words so easily. She knew they meant nothing to him like it meant to her. She was just a sexual fantasy, someone familiar to pass the time until Kiya showed up.
"I'm sorry Atem, I have to go." Her voice rose to barely a whisper and she tugged her wrist away from him. She didn't bother looking back, there was no use, she knew she couldn't trust herself to fulfill her words if she did. He was her weakness, he meant everything to her but she couldn't allow herself to let these feelings become known. Tonight was already a huge mistake and she'd rather not add to the growing pile.
Walking down the hallways to Atem's building which now seemed so much larger and colder than before created another wave of tears to fill Tea's eyes. It wasn't fair, she not only felt guilt for being with Atem but she felt guilt for leaving him as well. Her dislike for Kiya was overshadowed by the guilt she felt for kissing what was hers.
She could never stand to face her. Tea thought the remnants of what had happened would forever taint her skin and one look from Kiya would unravel all her secrets.
She made her way to the lobby, wet haired and without a jacket. She had realized she left her coat in his apartment. She couldn't stop the groan from escaping her lips. It was cold outside and there was no way in hell she was going back upstairs to retrieve her belonging.
"Are you without a jacket miss?" The doorman asked with a kind face. She vaguely remembered him in her drunken state and couldn't help but blush at her behavior toward him.
"Um yes it seems I've left it." She stammered.
"I will call a cab for you and you can stay in here until it arrives to escape the cold."
He gave her a kind smile and instantly went to a phone propped on his marble desk.
"Thank you so much." Tea replied sitting on one of the white couches. He was so kind, she didn't deserve it.
With a sigh she took her phone out to check the time. It was four am. Great she thought.
She saw five missed calls from Mary and several texts messages from her asking where she was and if she didn't reply soon she would call the police. Tea quickly sent a reply that she went home and had fallen asleep. She couldn't tell Mary what she had done, she knew Mary would be disappointed and she really couldn't face that right now.
She saw another text from James. Curious she opened it.
Hey Tea, can we talk tomorrow? Or the day after. Miss G said you weren't feeling well, so whenever you can just let me know.
J.
She did not want to talk to James. She couldn't face Atem, how could she face James? She certainly couldn't avoid him long with the ballet coming so close, but she would hold off for as long as she could. She decided to text him back later and put her phone away pretending her problems would be erased with a touch of a button.
"Cabs here." The doorman called and Tea sat up heading for the door.
"Thank you again sir, really you've seriously helped my rough night." Her smile was small but she was grateful.
"No trouble at all, we've all had one of those nights." He gave Tea another warm smile and Tea took in a breath bracing herself for the cold.
It was even colder than expected as she ran as fast as she could to the cab standing outside of the massive building. She didn't look back as the cab driver drove away, slightly disappointed Atem hadn't come out to stop her.
Atem stood at the door Tea had left just left by. His eyes stared at the ground and he couldn't help but feel frustration overcome him. Why didn't she stay? They had just shared their most intimate moment and she had run off again. Just like at the market. He had let her slip through his fingers once more.
"Fuck Tea." He said out loud to no one. He stepped away from the door and punched the first thing he came into contact with. Unfortunately for the wall it left a massive dent. He never felt such anger since he had allowed the rage buried within him to consume his heart long ago. He could feel that same fury start to rise up once more.
This wasn't the first time an episode like that happened. When Kiya and him got into fights from time to time he could feel himself slipping away as the red consumed his eyes and blocked his heart. But with Tea, all he felt was calm. He felt at ease and he felt her light. She was an anchor for him to know he was good. A human reminder of what he could aspire to be. He fed off her kind energy, it felt like breathing fresh air. It felt like home.
His fist returned to him and he noticed the cuts on his knuckles from the dry wall cracking beneath its fragile skin. There would definitely be bruising and he quickly walked to the kitchen to get a paper towel to wash off the blood.
He knew he couldn't stop himself from seeing her, he couldn't deny the truth any longer. He wanted Tea in all the ways a man would want a woman. He wanted to touch her skin and allow his hand to roam every curve. He wanted to kiss her tender lips. How she deserved to be kissed every minute of every second of every day. Beauty like hers deserved to be praised. Kiya wasn't the one for him, although she would always hold a special place in his heart she wasn't Tea. She could never be Tea. The thought of hurting Kiya brought along an almost overwhelming sense of guilt to Atem, but Tea subsided those feelings. He loved her, in that moment holding his bloodied knuckles he knew.
