AN- Thank you for following/favouriting, I'm glad people are enjoying it. Reviews are always welcome, kind or constructively critical!
Thanks to Mia Cooper for her vigilant and patient beta reading and sorting out my (numerous) errors!
Double posting…I couldn't leave it hanging!
Erin awoke with a start. F, for a bleary-eyed few seconds she had forgotten where she was, or what she was doing there. Suddenly aware of the bed she lay on and its owner she patted the space beside her to find it empty; . Tthe only trace of Gabriel Lorca was the still slightly damp outline of the fevered Captain marked out on the sheets. She sat up. He was fully dressed, had returned the chair and was working busily at his desk.
"Good morning, Powers – well,, well afternoon as it goes, but being locked up in here for three days has me at a loss for time. Culber says we can get out of here in the next half hour and you'll be pleased to learn I didn't tell him you were sleeping on the job."
He was a captain again. Smart, business-like, cock-sure of himself. Feeling dishevelled and self-conscious she scrambled to her feet. and She smartened herself, dragging on her boots, trying to tie up her hair. It bothered her she was unready to be seen, free of make-up, hair loose and unruly. It made her feel more naked and exposed than if she had woken up without her clothes.;
on On second thoughts that was would be far, far worse.
She curled her arm around her waist as if it afforded her a shield. against her revealed condition. Only Dasha ever saw her like this, briefly upon waking and they had an unspoken agreement that she would have first dibs on the mirror. She hadn't seen her friend in days; Erin wondered what sort of no good she had been up to, her bed had probably been sacrificed to make room for a bigger home brewing facility. There would be questions too. God, there would be so many questions and she would have to find a way of answering them without answering them at all.
She gathered up her things quietly, the atmosphere was much like it was when she arrived: h. He worked and ignored her, she tiptoed around him. It was like none of itthe past three days had never happened. Maybe it was all a bizarre dream. Too much to hope for.
The doors rustled open without ceremony and for a ship with such a controlled life support system, the air felt fresh and new.
She Erin stood politely before the open doors, waiting for something to be saidthe Captain to say something; anything. He barely looked up, other than to dismiss her with a curt thank you.
She turned to leave.
"I can trust nothing about this incident, will go any further?" were his parting words.
"Of course not, Sir, patient confidentiality is of the utmost importance to me."
Erin piled hurried back to her quarters quickly. Tears welled at the corners of her eyes and it was hard to pinpoint if she felt more disappointment or anger. She didn't become a nurse for people to be grateful, but three days in there and he couldn't even look at her to thank her. It would be easy to pour scorn on him, maybe it was just embarrassment, awkwardness, but then it wasn't like he was the shy and retiring type. She felt empty, bereft even, like someone had hollowed out her insides and replaced them with a black hole of nothingness. What the hell was wrong with her?
A realisation she could never, and would never verbalise hit her: she would miss him.
It was almost a week since she had been freed from quarantine. Dasha had nagged her with questions at every opportunity.
"Aw, Boots, come on, spill," she twined whined pleadingly, "tell, tell, tell, tell ," she parroted.
"There's nothing to tell, Dash., he He was ill, I looked after him, end of story." Those words felt more true and final than Erin wanted to admit.
"Did you see him naked?" Dasha said, eyes awash with a mischievous twinkle.
"No, but what do you care, he's really not your type."
Dasha shrugged and conceded her friend was right.
"Is he yours?" It was said in jest, but it made Erin uneasy.
"Ew," she lied, trying hard not to look guilty, then feeling instantly even more guilty that she should feel that way in the first place.
"But did he blow chunks and was it gross?"
"For God's sakes Dash, drop it. It really wasn't half as interesting as you want it to be."
Dasha shrugged again, clearly with disappointment,disappointed there was no salacious gossip to be gleaned. The smell from the mash kettle had now started to drift around the room. Erin examined the hydrometer, keen to change the topic of conversation.
"You know this is lethal, you really are going to have to drop the volume on this, otherwise sick bay is going to be overrun with cases of alcohol poisoning."
"Spoilsport. You up for the party tonight?"
"If you are supplying the booze then absolutely not."
"No, alcohol is provided." Dasha rolled her eyes, knowing what was coming.
"So all of this," Erin gestured, "is literally pointless." She shoved Dasha, who allowed herself to tumble over in a mock-death onto the bunk.
"I can't make it though, sorry. I'm on shift."
Erin was a little disappointed, she could have used some fun. She had spent the week avoiding things: avoiding questions; avoiding Lorca.; and even avoiding her own thoughts, but. She tried in vainhowever hard she tried to push them away, but they returned, crept back in when it was quiet, when she was alone.
Sometimes she wanted to comfort him, be kind and give a bruised and damaged man a chance to speak about unspeakable things without fear of judgement. He had almost let someone in., perhaps Perhaps he would again.
She chided herself for that. She that she wasn't an exceptional therapist and she wasn't here to fix anyone. It made her feel preposterous, as if she could romanticise someone's the Captain's trauma and make turn it into a way to – she , she didn't like want to acknowledge what it might be a way tothe rest of that thought. Anyway, She didn't even know what she could possibly hope for. Admiral Cornwell came to mind. Iif anyone could fix him, that reputation belonged to herit would be someone who knew him, like Admiral Cornwell. The bilious taste of jealousy reared up from her stomach. She wondered just what it was Kat used to like. It stung.
In the quiet nights, when Dasha was on shift, and sleep called she pictured him in other ways. Her fingers remembered the warmth of his body, and. It it elicited a throbbing damp heat between her legs. She imagined her fingers were his and whispered out his name in the dark as she drew out her own pleasure, satisfying the needy ache that thrummed relentlessly until its demand was met. All too easily, the image of him laid out on the bed drifted back to her, only this time she didn't kneel beside him, she would straddle him, riding and bucking until her soft cry of completion tore through the image. Only she didn't feel complete:, once her breathing slowed, in the darkness of her own room, she felt the emptiness return.
Keeping busy in sick bay seemed like the best option. Lorca rarely ventured there. It was easy to steer clear and he had made no effort to throw himself into her path either. She liked Hugh Culber a lot. He was kind and fair and accomplished. Watching him work was a good opportunity to learn. It was a positive distraction and she tried to fill her mind with medicine.
"Erin, those are Captain Lorca's eye treatments, I need you to take them to his ready room."
She tried to stop it, but her face fell. It didn't go unseen. Hugh was a perceptive man. Concern crept into his expression.
"I'm sorry, Erin, he asked for you." He studied her carefully.
"I thought he'd be sick of the sight of me," she tried to smile as she gathered the medicines, "it's no problem." She picked them up and left
He Captain Lorca beckoned her inbade her enter the ready room, and Erin. She tried not to dwell on the last time she had been summoned. She triedTrying not to think about a lot of things, she swallowed hard and proceeded.
"Nurse Powers, it's nice to see you.," he grinned a wickedly as gave a slow, wicked grin.
"I…" she was more nervous than the last time, more wracked in self-doubt and uncertainty, this time more directly relating to the man in front of her. "I brought these," she offered, swiftly kicking herself for sounding like a moron. She deposited them on the desk. He advanced, taking one of the sprays to his eye without flinching. Even a nurse as experienced as Erin found the thought of pressing a needle into your own eyeball a little disconcerting.
"You know I never really thanked you properly.," h He stepped confidently into Erin's personal space, and she felt her breathing sharpen and her mouth dry. "For what you did and for keeping things…" he pondered on the word, "discreete."
He looked into her eyes, deeply boring into her, she fought for air, herand her heart starteding to pound like it might burst.
"I'd like you to take the night off, enjoy the party, you deserve it. Anyone who can put up with me in that state for three days, damn well earned the right to let their hair down a little." He had stepped back a little, giving her space to recover herself.
"Thank you, Sir," she managed weakly, perhaps with a twinge of disappointment. .
"Thank you," he said softly, leaning forward to cup her face in his hands and plant a barely-there, lingering kiss on her lips. He stepped away fully now. Erin slowly opened her half-closed eyes and could say nothing. He turned as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.
"Enjoy your evening, Powers," he said nonchalantly.
Erin scurried out of the room, confused and excited. Her hand shot to her lips, seeking a trace of him as confiormation this was real and not imagined.
She was going to the party., whether Whether she was drinking to celebrate or forget was undecided.
