This chapter contains:

Spoilers: Season 1 and Season 2

Random Lyrics from: Last Resort by Papa Roach

Pairings: Dick and Artemis brotherly/sisterly friendship (can be viewed as Traught if any of you want it to be), DaddyBats, small amounts of DaddyFlash, with a bit of Chalant

Extra Notes: You guys won't know what I'm talking about until you read but Wally has a very bitter attitude in this chapter which allows for a lot of things to happen. He's acting like that because of the traumatic experience he had just been through (even Dick was sure to have some experience with torture as his time as Robin—I'm sure the Joker and some other Gotham villains would've gotten their hands on him) which he has no idea how to deal with. So he lashes out instead, as anyone would do if they had so much bottled up inside. But no worries, he won't be an asshole forever—I'm not that cruel of a person. :)

This chapter is rated teen for touchy topics revolving around mental illnesses, heavy language, references to past torture, in depth descriptions of Wally's injuries and slight sexual situations.


cut my life into pieces, this is my last resort


There was a numb feeling located in his thigh, a warm sensation throbbing across his body. "Kid?" He groaned, willing his eyes to open but to no success. A rough hand touched his bare shoulder and he flinched away from the unforeseen pain it caused, whimpering in discomfort. The hand rubbed his shoulder for another second before fitting through his hair, "Wally?"

He whined in protest, a headache forming from the man's loud voice. A puff of air was released in relief next to him. "It's alright Kid, everything is okay. I'm going to go get Batman alright? You just stay right there and try to open your eyes."

The feeling of a body sitting next to him disappeared and Wally felt too alone. He struggled to open his eyes but got them open after a few minutes and was meant by a harsh bright light around him. He blinked a few times, trying to adjust his eyes to the light and took in his surroundings.

The first thing his drug-induced mind could comprehend was that he was in the cave's infirmary (the doodle of a stick figure person sitting on a toilet with a newspaper on the polished ceiling was enough of a giveaway—he had doodled different things in non-washable black, heavy duty Sharpie one day when he was bored in each of the infirmary rooms). The next was that there was a dull throbbing literally everywhere in his body. He decided to sit up but didn't get too far and hissed in pain just as his uncle rocketed back in the room.

Within seconds he was helping Wally sit up, whispering words of reassurance as Wally griped through the pain with heavy breaths and agony filled huffs. Barry readjusted the pillows to keep him sitting up and then returned to the chair at the side of his bed, taking Wally's hand in his.

"I heard you so I sped ahead of Batman, he should be here in just a second. How are you feeling Kid? There are pain killers in your system and some morphine."

Wally nodded his head, not really wanting to talk. Sure; the meds were helping him but it still hurt. Every part of his body still hurt. He also didn't miss the way Barry talked; like as if there was something stuck in his throat but strangely hollow at the same time. Bruce entered the room before Barry could comment on the odd sound of silence around Wally. Bruce walked over to the machine beeping next to Wally, checking his vitals and Wally noticed Barry staring daggers into Bruce's cape.

He looked at his uncle, "D-Don't do t-that." His voice was low and scratchy, Barry snapping his attention from Bruce to his nephew.

"Don't do what?" Barry questioned, an abrasive scoff coming from Wally a moment later.

"Don't try to b-blame this, w-what happened to me, o-on Batman." Barry looked shocked for a second and then he tried to hide it, but didn't do such a great job, as his eyes narrowed. Bruce turned around and stood tall next to Barry's seated form, white silted eyes glancing between nephew and uncle wearily.

"Wally I'm not blaming anything on anyone," Wally wanted to laugh out loud, he really did—because he knew his uncle better than anyone. Their attitudes nearly mirrored each other's and Wally already knew what he had probably done; pulled Bruce aside and yelled at him in the riveting silence of just them alone.

"Like hell you aren't," the young man countered, jade eyes burning, "you probably f-freaked out as much as B-Batman did when Nightwing went missing," He was glad his voice was losing its stutter as he became more awake but at the same time the words he spat felt odd in his mouth.

It was Bruce, not Batman.

It was Dick, not Nightwing.

Wally felt the use of hero names dampened the meaning of the conversation, hindered it. There just wasn't as much emotion when you talked about a superhero instead of a human being. "Wally that's bulls—"

"Enough."

Bruce decided now was as good of a time as any to stop the two from bickering—though a part of him felt funny. When Dick had gotten back he wasn't cold like Wally was acting at all, instead his son relished in the feeling of family around him and friends near him. Something was off with how Wally was acting and Bruce had a nauseating feeling that it wasn't from the drugs affecting his system. Wally looked down at his hands at Bruce's stern command, Barry staring at his feet. The caped crusader sighed in the meantime, "Alright Kid, do you want to know the extent of your injuries?"

"Not really," Wally mumbled, Barry's eyebrows furring. But before his uncle could say anything, Bruce started speaking.

"There are twelve stiches currently located in your right thigh to stop the bleeding from the long gash that rested there. Ten more stiches are also in your right arm, near your elbow as it looks like someone tried to drill into the bone." Wally looked like a stone as the memories hit him and Barry unintentionally grabbed ahold of his nephew's hand and squeezed hard. Bruce looked more dismayed as he continued, "There was an infected cut on your left lower calf which we stitched up with twenty stiches and should be healed within a matter of weeks. Multiple bruises and some small cuts are still tender on your face along with heavy bruising in the array of fingerprints on your neck. I think it will heal but it is possible from the pressure put there that a scar might be there forever."

Barry looked like he had just saw a ghost float in from of him, "K-Kid did he," he gulped loudly, "did h-he try to choke you to d-death?"

"Yeah, among other things." Wally's voice sounded like a shell of his own, dead. Emotionless. Bruce exhaled before speaking again, as much as he didn't want to keep listing the amount of injuries Wally had gained.

"The biggest things we had to take care of was everything on your chest. There were disbelieving amounts of lacerations, drilled holes and burn marks coating your torso. We added the natural lotions and the pain killers you will need to take should help with any discomfort you end up having. Kid, the main bulk of this is that you will be out of hero duty for a few months. Pulling on any of the cuts you have acquired could set you back a great amount of time so the best way to heal in your case is to stay in bed. Your accelerated healing should help you, we snapped your shoulder blade and left ankle back into place a while ago. That might be the dull throbbing you can keep wincing from."

Bats didn't miss anything that was for sure; Wally thought with a hidden smile. No wonder Dick was always scared to death of getting caught in a lie when Wally would sneak him out to get a few beers or go for nighttime patrolling when they were younger.

"Jaysus K-Kid," Barry muttered, his words slurring together as they did when he got overwhelmed.

Bruce looked between Barry and Wally, rubbing at the back of his cowl. "I'll leave you two alone."

With that he was gone, the door to Wally's room shut behind him. If he was being honest, Wally didn't want to be left alone with his uncle. He wasn't ready for the pity filled looks or stern talking to—whichever one came first. "Kid, I just . . . I-I don't know what to say." Wally shrugged, grimacing at the sticky bandages pulling on his bare chest.

"Then don't say anything at all."

Barry sighed, "I'm sorry this happened to you Kid, you know I'm sorry." Wally avoided Barry's eyes, staring at his blankets. "But listen, things will get better. You fell into a coma for about a week which gave your body some extra time to heal. You won't be bedridden for long."

Wally didn't care about being stuck in bed, he actually couldn't wait for it. He cared about that man being out in the open, that man being free and able to perform his experiments on any person he choose.

Barry took Wally's silence as a signal to keep talking, "The League took down the threat out in Europe, and everyone is waitin' for you out there. Bart is really worried about you. As well as the rest of the team and your girlfriend." Barry winked at his nephew, knowing that would get some flushed cheeks and a quip out of Wally but his stomach dropped when Wally simply gave his uncle an empty stare back. "Listen Wally, there are people that care about you here. Here and out there and I haven't even gotten around to telling your parents what happened."

"Then don't."

Barry sighed heavily, standing up. "Kid, don't shut me out."

Wally held up his hands in mock surrender, "I'm not." Barry rubbed at his masked eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Goddamn it Kid, don't do this. Don't close yourself up. Don't do this." Barry seemed to be repeating the phrase to himself over and over and Wally got annoyed after hearing the words leaving his chapped lips.

"What do you expect me to do Barry? Forget any of this shit happened to me and just crack jokes again?" He shouted suddenly, Barry sending him a knowing look.

"I'm not saying that's what you have to do Wally, I'm just saying you can't live in your past. You are only gonna become worse and worse if you can't get past what happened to you."

Wally felt the tears prick at his eyes as his uncle headed towards the door, "We've all been through things—"

"You have no right—"

"I do have the right because I have to make sure you turn out okay!" He raised his voice and coughed quietly after stunning Wally into stillness, rubbing at the back of his neck. He didn't look at Wally for a minute, instead staring at his feet, but when he looked back over at his nephew—his eyes were filled with regret. Sadness.

"Listen to me Wally. When you started crime fighting your parents were absolutely terrified for you. They didn't want you to leave the house. They wanted to lock you up so that you couldn't get hurt; which is what any parent would want to do. I talked them out of it, said that it would be best if you learned the right way to use your powers. That you were more dangerous without having any idea. Do you know what they made me promise them?"

Wally laughed humorlessly, "To not be such a damn—"

"They made me promise that you would never get hurt. That you would never get so hurt that you would become broken. That I would protect you."

"Get. Out." His voice was a hoarse whisper and it broke Barry's heart.

"I failed you Kid, I know I did and I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry that you have to live with this," Wally stayed quiet—mad or broken or sad or pissed—Barry couldn't tell. He opened up the door, not looking back. "I'll send in Artemis. Maybe she can knock some sense into you Kid." A tear slipped down Wally's cheek once his uncle was out of range.


suffocation, no breathing


When Barry made it to the large waiting room just outside of the infirmary; Dick, Artemis and Bart ran up to him for news while the rest of the waiting team members stood up from their seats (excluding Gar who had fell asleep on M'gann). Barry's eyes widened behind his cowl as he lifted his hands in a calming motion, most of the team taking their seats again.

Dick stood in front of him with his arms crossed, Artemis half leaning on his shoulder for support as her arms were wrapped around Bart's shoulders haphazardly, the youngster leaning into the older woman's warm touch. It kind of reminded Barry of a messed up family; Wally as the father, Artemis as the mother, Dick as the estranged uncle and Bart as the adopted kid.

"How is he?" Dick questioned, Barry sighing.

"He's okay. I told him I would send Artemis in—"

"When can I see him?" Bart cut in, Barry sending him a weakened smile. He crouched down, ruffling the younger speedster's crazy brown hair.

"In a little while bud, no worries. You can chill out here with Night until then alright?" Bart nodded, Artemis letting go of him to go and head to Wally's room.

Dick put a hand on Bart's shoulder, "Go and take a seat next to Jamie, I'll be there in a second. I just need to talk to Flash for a second." Bart nodded eagerly, obeying Dick's words. Dick waited until Bart was out of range before taking Barry by the arm and pulling him far aside. "How is he really Flash?"

Barry shook his head gravely, "Not good Night . . . I don't know what's wrong with him."

Dick's lips pulled into a frown, "What do you mean?" He muttered, Barry looking distraught.

"H-He isn't talking, he isn't himself. It's scaring me Night," Dick put a reassuring hand on Barry's shoulder.

"It'll be okay Flash."

"Yeah . . . I have to go and meet up with Batman and the rest of the League at the Watchtower, keep me posted?" Dick nodded, sending Barry a smile. Barry waved one last time before speeding off, Dick walking back over to his seat next to Bart. He held his head in his hands, heart beating fast. Were they too late in saving him?


'cause I'm losing my sight


"Nightwing?" Bart's small voice caused Dick to raise his head, sending the boy sitting next to him a tired smile.

"What's up bud?"

The younger boy played with his fingers, unsure in how to ask his question while Dick waited patiently, "What . . . what happened to Wally?" He whispered, Dick's heart dropping.

When Bruce had walked out of Wally's room, he had talked to Dick privately about the extent of all of Wally's injuries before taking off for the tower ("Keep an eye on him son," he had muttered before turning away to the zeta beam). Dick shook his head, Bart looking down at his folded over hands.

"I-It's not looking too good Bart, I mean I don't know how he's doing. I wish I could see him." Bart nodded silently, Dick leaning back and scratching at his head. The room was deadly silent besides the occasional snore or hushed murmur here and there.

The waiting room was the size of the 'chill room', as Wally had dubbed it years ago, by the cave's kitchen—with dull rosy cement walls and a ceiling that had seen better days.

There were five rows of uncomfortable black leather chairs spread across the room with some end tables and a glass coffee table resting in the middle of the room. Everyone who was present were dressed in their civvies, excluding M'gann and Conner who were too tired to care.

Kaldur and Raquel sat in the first row of chairs, the latter's eyes closed and head resting on his shoulder. Karen and Mal sat a few seats down from those two, hands intertwined as they stared blankly at the red walls around them. La'gaan sat by himself at the end of the row, too busy counting the different colors in his skin to care; he didn't want to know how Wally was doing—it scared him.

No one was seated in the second row of chairs but the third row of chairs was where M'gann and Conner resided—M'gann was holding Conner's hand so tight Dick was surprised it didn't fall off yet. Gar was settled in a deep sleep between them, the two's bodies cradling his like a baby in a crib. At the end of the third row, across from where Dick sat, was were Barbara and Cassie were. They both clung to each other like sisters, because Wally was like a brother to them and it hurt them too much to put into words that he had gotten so hurt.

No one sat in the fifth row of chairs so that left the fourth row, where halfway down sat in order—Tim (fumbling with playing a game of ping pong on his holographic communicator), Jamie (mumbling reassurances to himself or to nobody, no one ever knew), Bart (playing with his thumbs), Dick (trying to compose himself still) and finally Zatanna (eyes closed and mind alive with thoughts of how she felt the same way now as she did when her father sacrificed himself) who's head was leaning softly against Dick's shoulder. He sighs, the black tee shirt adorning his form feeling tight around his neck.

He wished he could take off his shades or something to just feel less cramped. But his mind just wouldn't calm down—Wally was going to be alright. Right? It was Kid Mouth after all—the one who liked to crack smartass jokes and stupid wisecracks.

He would always be okay . . .


losing my mind


There's a soft knock on the door and Wally grunts delicately as he opens his eyes, seeing Artemis standing there. A small smile spreads across his face, Artemis taking that an answer to enter the room. She takes note of the IV in Wally's hand and the wires hooked up to his body; carefully sitting on the left side of his bed and grabbing the hand without the IV.

She rubs her thumb along the back of it, taking notice of a new thinly wrapped piece of white gauze resting there. Her grey eyes clash with his green ones when she looks up at his battered face, sighing quietly.

"Hey babe," The grin he sports after her words brightens up his face and she smiles gently.

His red hair is wild, most of it sticking up and a thin strip of bandage is located on the right side of his forehead. His slightly freckled cheeks have lost some of their color from dehydration and square brown bandages were riddled across multiple parts of his face. Wally could see his girlfriend instantly pale at the blueish bruises still formed in the shape of hands on most of his neck.

A revolting shade of beige snaked down from the bottom of his chin to the back of his neck, wrapping around to the front and leading downwards to underneath his grey hospital gown.

Wally squeezed Artemis' hand as hard as he could, though it was worrying to Artemis that it only felt like a small pressure on her fingers when he tried, and then he spoke. "Stop looking at me like that, I'm fine."

She reached forwards and brushed a piece of his hair out of his eyes, "It doesn't look like it Baywatch. It looks like you've been through hell."

He scoffs, "I know. I was there." There was a cold tone underlying his words and she felt uneasy. Why did it feel like she was talking to a stranger?

"I'm glad your back home. Brucely will be ecstatic when he gets to see you." Artemis played unwittingly with each of his fingers, like as if she was trying to memorize his body.

"If I ever get home," Wally muttered, Artemis snapping her head up to glare at him.

"You will get home because you will be okay."

"How do you know that Artemis? Everyone keeps saying I'll get past this but none of you know what I went through—"

"You know I'm always here if you need something Baywatch," She cut him off with a firm but composed voice, Wally yanking his hand out of her hold. "Do you . . . do you want to talk about it Wally?"

He shook his head stubbornly, "No. I never want to go back there again."

"Babe, sometimes it's better to talk about things. Remember when I kept getting nightmares about my dad catching you one day and kicking the living shit out of you? And how you were there to comfort me?"

"Yeah false words of reassurance because as it turns out Sportsmaster ended up kicking the shit outta Dickie."

Artemis stood up from Wally's hospital bed, tears threatening to break out of her irises. "What has gotten into you Wally? Where's the stupid, one hell of a dumbass superhero I fell in love with?" Wally simply stared at his girlfriend for a moment, before speaking and breaking her heart.

"That dumbass is still locked in that room, getting holes drilled into his bones. If you fucking wanted that guy to come back, than you should've saved me faster. You left me there to die Artemis!"

He watched as her face seemingly went through the seven stages of grief, fist anger then bewilderment then fear and then undeniable sadness. A tear fell from her stormy eyes and Wally watched as the liquid rolled down her cheek and then dripped off her chin, dropping to the polished floor to create a tiny puddle. It was like watching her break before him in slow motion and the messed up thing was that he didn't feel bad.

"Maybe we should've left you there then!" She shouted not realizing her words until she had ran out of the room and slammed the door behind her. But she would apologize later, whenever Wally West came out from the rock he was stuck under.


wish somebody would tell me I'm fine


When Artemis walked back into the waiting room with tears in a steady stream down her dark cheeks an instant group of people were at her side. Dick instantly pulled the older girl into his arms, M'gann placing a hand on her back, Bart trying to hold onto her one hand to show some type of comfort and Conner secretly seething at her side—he could tell Wally had said something to hurt her.

"What did he say? I swear I'll go in there and kick his ass."

"Conner." M'gann turned to Conner and gave him a look, the man muttering his next string of things he could do to Wally in that moment under his breath. Dick rubbed Artemis' back, sending M'gann a confused look which she returned.

"Art, what's wrong? Is Wally okay?"

Bart finally was able to grab her hand, smiling triumphantly. M'gann moved closer to make sure she got some attention from Artemis. "If you really don't want to talk I could read your mind Artemis but it's completely up to—"

"Do it." She murmured through her congested sobs, Dick becoming more apprehensive as the moments became minutes.

"Art talk to me, please." He begged as M'gann's eyes glowed a vibrant green. Bart watched fearfully just as Gar woke up and stumbled over in his half asleep state next to Conner who had took a few steps back to calm himself.

"Conner? What's goin' on?" Conner slung a soothing arm around the younger boy, pulling him close.

"Artemis just got spooked at something, that's all. Sleep well?" He answered gruffly, Gar smiling at the causal matter of Conner.

"Yeah, I um had a nightmare about my uh mom and it woke me up." Conner simply pulled the boy closer to his side in response just as M'gann finished reading Artemis' mind with a hushed gasp. Conner looked over along with Dick, both waiting for her to speak. M'gann glanced unsurely between the two, shaking her head.

"Wally he . . . he isn't himself. He said some cruel things to her Nightwing I-I mean—"

Conner's rage hit its peak as he let go of Gar and started stomping over towards Wally's room; M'gann stopping and running over to stop him. "Conner stop!"

"I'm going to get in there and kick his ass!"

Dick knew the whole original team was protective of one another as they all acted like family now a days. Bart moved back over next to Jamie, taking a seat as he figured it was the best way to not get involved in a shouting match. Dick looked from the shouting match between his two teammates and then back down to Artemis but then a cool hand on his shoulder made him jump. He turned to see Zatanna standing there, her lips pulled in a tight frown. "What happened Boy Wonder?"

He shook his head, "Wally did something and now Artemis is . . . "

Dick glanced downwards to show his point and Zatanna understood his message as she worked on getting a worked up Artemis to release the death hold she had on his shirt. "Come on Artemis, it's alright. We can go and relax in Nightwing's old room." It took the girl a few moments but she was able to gather Artemis in her arms and allow Dick to move freely.

He sent Zatanna a small smile, "Thanks." He leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to her lips, removing his lips faster than she could blink.

"Boy Wonder you've only gotten better since our last hookup," Dick smirked as he turned and moved towards M'gann and Conner's still fighting forms.

"I've had a lot of practice Zee, did you know girls love my 'whelming body'?" She let out a small chuckle after his husky words, turning and slowly walking Artemis towards the team's room quarters.

"Let me through M'gann so help—"

"Conner stop it you don't know what he's been through!"

"And you do?"

Dick stood between the two, hands raised. "Stop it both of you. I'm going to head in and see what's up. Kid Idiot is probably high right now." The room went silent as the rest of the team watched Dick disappear into the hallway of room and the man hoped he could fix this.


i never realized i was spread too thin


Dick opened the door to Wally's room slowly, the latter lifting his head and looking back down again once he saw his friend. Dick smiled gently, moving into the room and trying to figure out how to start a conversation. He knew it would be smart not to bring up Artemis, as to not set Wally off again.

"Hey Wall-Man, how are you holding up?" Wally shrugged, barely looking at Dick for the most part.

"Alright." He took a seat in the chair pulled up next to his bed after a second and then quietness followed them until Dick decided to break it again.

Wally looked down at his hands and Dick cracked a smile, "Now we both have matching battle scars I guess—"

"How can you joke about this Dick?" Wally's voice was low and sour, causing Dick to do a double take.

"Dude, it's over now. The only thing we can do is joke about it."

Wally barely glanced at his brother, "It's over?" He questioned darkly, not giving Dick time to formulate a response, "Shit I guess I missed my stop." He didn't like the dead tone Wally's voice had, or the chills that ran down his spine at Wally's heartless words.

Something more had happened to his friend, "Dude—"

"When does it ever end Dick? Are you just stuck in this place forever?" He spat and Dick felt his heart contract.

He knew what feeling his friend was talking about, that gut wrenching feeling afterwards that told something was wrong with your body. The feeling that someone was watching you from behind constantly, that a hand was about to grab you from behind and tug you into the darkness awaiting you. Dick still had that feeling sometimes, like when he was thrown into his new feats of anxiety attacks. Or PTSD, whatever Artemis had said he had.

He sighed sensitively, "Wally I know that feeling. I live with fighting it every day alright? That's why your girlfriend and you refused to let me live on my own? Wally . . . I went through the same thing."

"No you didn't!" Wally snapped, causing Dick to flinch unknowingly, he looked at his friend through disbelieving eyes.

"Wally—"

"You didn't go through half the fucking shit that man put me through Dick. He did worse to me because of my speed. Do you understand how degrading that is?" Dick opened and closed his mouth but no words escaped to which Wally snorted to. "You will never understand."

"Wally that isn't true, we've been through—"

"You've been through less okay. Less Dick." Immobility consumed them and Dick felt horrible—if only they could've found him faster, if only they could of saved him before the man was able to put Wally though such unjustified methods. He wrung his hands, fingers scrabbling over one another and the steady beep of Wally's heart monitor was enough to send the two into an uncanny abyss.

"I-I'm sorry KF, I am. After what happened to me I was so determined to make sure I would never be caught in such a scenario again and I just lost my roots. My concern should've been protecting you guys."

Wally knew Dick always felt a burden from Bruce and any other time would've acted on it if the world wasn't currently spinning around him; if the world hadn't thrown him to a crazed madman to be picked apart for scraps.

"Yeah," A small part of Wally knew what his next words would be and then another part of him thought something completely different was going to come out. In the end, Wally knew later on he would regret his words—he would—but so much had happened to him that his mind was working on an odious overdrive. "You should've."

Then his mouth moved without permission and a scream was trying to claw its way out of the throat but instead more muddled words tumbled out. "You are always trying to avenge someone or protect something. Is that to make up for what happened to your parents? You feel that if you had been able to do something they would still be alive but you failed. Just like you did with me. You failed in protecting me too."

Wally watched curiously as Dick's face went from being alive with sparks of life to becoming dead with no emotion locked in his obs. He could even swear there was a flicker of abhorrence, a ghost of a grimace trying to break its way across his lips. Wally's heart felt like it was being jerked in five different directions but so much malice had filled him by now that all he could do was spit out painful words; trying to break his friend down.

As screwed up as it was, he wanted Dick to feel how he felt—to be pushed down so much that it was impossible to stand back up again.

"So who are you going to fail next Dick? Gonna let the Joker break out of the Arkham Asylum and carve a wicked smile on Bruce's face? Are you gonna stay by and watch as Sportsmaster breaks out of prison and chokes Artemis before you?" He could see Dick visually pale, the aura of the room grew darker and darker as the seconds passed.

"Wally, stop." His usually mysterious voice was deep and aimed in a warning tone but Wally just chuckled.

"Little Dickie allowed another friend to die." Dick's fists clenched in his lap, fingernails digging into his pulled skin.

"You don't mean any of this man, please stop before you go too far." Dick was nearly pleading to Wally but the red head seemed to ignore it. The scar on Dick's arm burned softly. "KF—"

"All those guys are right you know; you are a piece of shit that just strives to be seen in someone else's shadow."

That was the last straw as Dick's eyes widened and his mouth turned upwards in a glower.

"You know better than anyone else that my parents dying was caused by a maniac who could've killed anyone else in the circus but instead took away the only family I had! I always wondered why he didn't just kill me, why he didn't just blow my brains out because that pain would've been easier than the pain I get every time I see Bruce give Tim a hidden smile or Artemis allow Green Arrow to pat her on the back or Aquaman giving Kaldur a look filled with so much damn pride or J'onn giving M'gann a tight hug and a kiss on the forehead after a job well done or Superman giving Conner a nod. Just a simple nod between those two kills me because they can say everything in that nod because they are like father and son now and I will never have that! It kills me when Barry tugs you into a bone-crushing hug and ruffles your hair and says 'great job Kid' after whatever stupid antic you had done to make sure the mission was a success! Bruce will always be my father but he will never be my dad. My dad died when that rope was pulled from under him. You don't know how damn lucky you are to have family. To have parents!"

His voice had raised and he was standing up, his frame soaring over Wally's bedridden form. His blue eyes were trying to burn a hole in Wally through his darkened shades, his fists white from the pressure of holding himself back from socking Wally across the face.

"You still failed Dick! Your parents would still be alive if you were able to protect them! But they are dead because you just watched them fall!" Wally's heart monitor sped up with his newfound rage, the beeps escalating in timing and volume.

Neither man cared as Dick let out a roar of anger, "I was a kid! I was a little kid who could only watch as his parent's bodies fell to the ground in front of him! Every year, every damn year, on the anniversary of their death I climb to the tallest building in Gotham and jump off just to try and understand how they felt—to understand what it was like to see the world below you slowly get closer and closer with nothing to catch you—to know that death is coming and that it's gonna hurt! But I can never match their feelings, hell I don't know what they felt like! I saw my mom's eyes fill with fear as she tried to reach for my dad, just so that she would have someone to hold onto, I saw my dad glance at me and then send me a smile. A smile."

Wally shook his head, "If you want to know how death feels then go through with it!"

Dick's eyes narrowed into slits, "At least I'm not some Flash wanna-be who acts like an asshole to anyone that cares about him!"

"At least my parents didn't die because of me!" Wally shouted, just as Barry and Bruce ran in from the doorway, Bruce immediately heading over to Wally's heart monitor to make sure he was okay.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! What is going on here?" Barry questioned, positioning his body so that he was acting as a barrier between Dick and Wally. Bruce moved away from Wally's heart monitor after seeing that he had just worked himself up, moving towards his former protégé.

"Nightwing," He placed a hand on Dick's shoulder but he shoved Bruce's touch off him; moving towards the doorway.

"Don't touch me."

Barry looked to Wally, "What were you two shouting about? You shot up your blood pressure to damn well near over two hundred Kid! Nearly gave yourself a heart attack with all of the meds you're on." Wally said nothing and instead glared at Dick, who didn't even bother acknowledging the look Wally was giving him.

Bruce spoke up again, "Either you tell us now or I'll go and bring J'onn in here to read everything in your minds." He warned firmly and both young adults in the room knew he wasn't playing around. When neither made a sound Bruce made a movement to go and walk out of the room and that's when Wally spoke.

"Dick and I were just having a heart to heart about some things."

Bruce looked unamused, "No civilian IDs are to be mentioned when in a public area Kid Flash."

He scoffed, "What's the worst that could happen, the team could find out he killed his own—"

Dick lunged for Wally, Bruce grabbing him by the shoulders and shoving him backwards; Dick's back hitting the doorframe with a muffled thud. Barry grabbed Wally's arms to keep him from competing his movement of trying to stand up and meet Dick in a punch, Wally growling at his uncle stopping him in his tracks.

"Let me go,"

Barry chuckled weakly, "Calm down Kid, just calm down."

Bruce meanwhile held down Dick as he tried to struggle out of his hold, the older man giving him a glare. "Stand down Nightwing,"

"Can't even use my real name Bruce?"

"We can't risk anyone hearing so stand down before I have to use force." He muttered, shoving Dick gently into the doorframe again before releasing him. Barry let go of Wally at the same time and as Dick turned to stalk out of the room he didn't miss Wally's final comment.

"You are just a joke Dick! Remember that word written on your fucking arm?" Before Barry or Bruce could slap their hand over Wally's mouth, he was able to say it. "You are fucking exposed! You are a piece of shit! You are nothing!"

The word 'exposed' carved into Dick's arm throbbed at the mention and Wally grinned to himself when he heard the sound of Dick hitting something off a bookshelf; Bruce exiting the room shortly after. Barry rubbed his temple, wondering where exactly Wally had gone. "Jesus Kid, you really just hurt him."

Wally shrugged, "I know."


'til it was too late and i was empty within


Artemis and Dick entered their apartment soundlessly, Brucely meeting them with a wagging tail at the door. Dick ran his hand through the fur on the dog's back before heading into his room to get changed, while Artemis took a seat next to the dog and smiled when his wet nose poked her in the cheek.

"Hey Bruce," she muttered, the dog licking her and then whining. She knew he was wondering where Wally was and the mere thought of him caused her stomach to do flips.

"Wally isn't home yet and I don't know if he ever will be boy," Brucely licked each of her fingers before Artemis stood up and walked down the hallway; opening the door to her room and flicking on the light.

The bed was still dismayed from the night before where she had tossed and turned for hours, the curtains half opened, Wally's dirty clothes in a small heap in the left corner and picture of the team half falling off the nightstand in the doorway. Artemis lingered in the doorway, Brucely's bulky form leaning against her right leg. She shuffled into the room after a minute, closing the door behind her before Brucely could shove his fat ass in the room.

She slowly walked over to the closet; picking out some clothes to wear. She settled on a grey tank top and an old pair of Wally's white stripped sports sweats. She stripped out of her tee-shirt and shorts within a second, only able to throw on her sweats before Brucely scratched longingly at the door.

"Shut the hell up Brucely!" She shouted before moving over to the mirror in the right side of the room to just take a look at herself.

The tank top clutched in her hands was crushed into a tight ball, her ashen colored bra brighter than her skin color in that moment, her eyes bloodshot from crying so much with Zatanna, face blotchy and pastel with the aftermath of everything that had happened in that day. Brucely barked from outside the door just as she heard a knock and Dick's gentle voice.

"Art? You okay in there?" She didn't realize she was crying until she could fell the wetness on the bare skin of her shoulders, until she saw the running tracks down her cheeks. Her tongue felt like lead in her mouth, teeth like a meat grinder; she wasn't able to get any words out.

Dick knocked again but it was lost on her ears and she wondered if she was okay or if she wasn't.

"Artemis come on, answer me so I know you're okay." There was an edge to his voice and a sob escaped her at the thought that Wally would get that same protective edge when they were in battle or when a nightmare would grab hold of her. But apparently, Wally wasn't there.

He was still locked away someplace, buried and forgotten under the new guy that had took over his body.

Did he even love her anymore, as pitiful as it sounded? "Artemis?" She hated crying. Back when she was little, if her father would catch her or her sister crying he would pound them to a plump—talking about how crying was just another weakness.

She would be lying if she said that didn't always hang over her and it took Wally a million words of assurance that it was okay to cry; because the strongest people just cried after not being able to hold anything else in.

Now, here she was—blubbering and moping to the cold air before her. Sportsmaster would've kicked her in the ribs by now. "I'm coming in,"

Everything seemed to move in slow motion as the door opened and Brucely took a flying leap to her bed—landing surprisingly perfectly next to the barricade of fluffy pillows—and Dick's worried form in the doorway. She could see his emotions clearly through the mirror she was still glaring at, the insecure color draining from his face.

He was clad in a forest green type of V-neck along with some dark blue ripped jeans and his hands were stuffed doubtfully in his pockets.

"Art?" He whispered after a tense minute, the girl shaking her head as she watched his reaction in the glass.

"He's gone Dick." When she muttered those three words Dick understood the secret cry for help hidden within and walked towards her, his hands covering her own from behind. Without a word he gently unclasped her vice-like grip on the tank top, helping her slip it over her head before moving her by her shoulders so she could face him.

"He's still in there somewhere Art, we just have to find him."

He wiped the new tears cascading down her face, catching the droplets with his thumb. "How do you know that Dick?" He sighed, opening his arms so she could fall into his chest and his arms snaked around her—holding her tight. She grabbed onto the back of the material of his shirt, relishing in the fact that someone was still there for her.

"I've known KF for years, he's hot tempered you know. But the one thing I've learned is that he always comes back after a little while."

"He says we left him to die Dick but we didn't. We searched hell and high water every dam second to find him!" He rubbed her back, shushing her. He had dated enough girls to know how to handle a distraught one. "I searched every damn second to find him."

"It's okay Artemis, he's gone through hell. He has a right to be mad?"

She scoffed, "But why is it directed at the people he loves?" Dick squeezed his eyes shut, ignoring the headache coming on from the onslaught of memories hitting him.

"Because he doesn't know how else to handle it."


hungry, feeding on chaos and living in sin


"The team is still waiting to see you Kid," his uncle mumbles gruffly from the doorway after Wally doesn't know how long and Wally rolls his eyes in a childish matter.

"Why would they care?" Barry's eyes narrowed into slots from behind his cowl and Wally felt a burning sensation in his blood. Not the right words to use in that moment superficially.

"Stop doing that Wally, everyone was lost with you missing." Wally stayed silent, Barry letting out an overpowered exhale. "Look, can you at least let Bart come and see you? The kid's been worried sick about you."

Wally nodded after a minute, Barry looking slightly relieved. In a matter of spilt seconds Barry was out of the room and Bart was standing by Wally's bed; reaching hopelessly for the older speedster's hand. Wally took notice of the boy's slightly jittery movements and calmed him by reaching for his hand, holding it tightly. "S'right here bud," he muttered, Bart laughing shortly.

"I missed you Wally." Wally grinned at the young boy, feeling his heart lift for some reason. He might've hated the world but how could he hate little Bart? He was too innocent for all of this.

"So I've heard. Missed your big bro?" Bart moved closer to Wally's bed, nodding wordlessly. Wally saw the tears when they started dripping down his face.

Drop.

One.

Drip.

Two.

They puddle in a damp pile on his thin hospital blanket and Wally wants to stop the wet menaces before they become a mountain. "Hey, hey—what're you crying for?"

"I-I just m-m—issed y-you." He hiccupped which threw Wally into motion as he sat up with a quick grunt and pulled on the boy's arm, signaling for him to climb into Wally's bed which the younger boy did skillfully as to not disturb the wires around them. Wally wrapped his arms around Bart, resting his chin in the boy's barren strains of hair.

Bart grabbed at Wally's gown, holding on snug. "It's all okay bud, I'm right here."

The only thing that could run through Wally's mind was when he had held Dick in a similar hug after he had been rescued—after he had been through the same torturous experience.


downward spiral, where do i begin?


It takes a few hours of struggling but Dick is finally able to get Artemis to fall asleep curled up next to Brucely on her and Wally's bed after a while; and he sneaks out into the living room to meet the black screen of the television.

Visons flash in the blank space—Sportsmaster's twisted face, the man's jacked up features, the knifes, the pain—Dick feel dizzy.

There's a tap on the door and he walks over to answer it, glancing through the peep hole before opening the door wide. The clock behind him strikes twelve at night once he lets a rain soaked Bruce Wayne into his apartment, dressed in his casual civvies for once.

The irony is poetic, almost.

They don't speak as they take a seat next to one another on the couch and they don't speak as Dick reaches for the remote and turns on Cartoon Network for background noise. Some superhero spinoff show is on, the sidekicks battling their mentors in an odd war of some sort. Dick barely pays enough attention to guess the ending (a habit of his) before Bruce breaks the tranquil peace around them.

"Artemis?" He questions brusquely, Dick tilting his head towards her now closed bedroom door.

"Asleep."

They both take in the silence eagerly once again, as it had always been the one thing they understood about the other, how neither liked too much noise. It reminded Bruce too much of the gunshots as his parents fell to the ground and Dick didn't like how noise had too close of a resemblance to the cheers of the crowd from back when he was in the circus.

Shadows and silence was just their thing. Always would be.


searching to find a love upon a higher level


"Wally was out of line earlier today,"

Dick nodded his head, "I know." Bruce sighed and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

"Are you okay Dick? With all that he said?"

The man in question shrugged his shoulder, not too sure of the answer himself. "I don't know."

Silence. Bruce clearing his throat. The sidekicks taking down their mentors. Kissing at the chime of New Years. Suddenly, Bruce's large hand clamped down kindly on Dick's shoulder in an act of support. In a way of saying 'good job kid' without having to stumble through the letters as he always ended up doing.

Dick smiled and Bruce chuckled softly to himself, pulling Dick close.

"You did great son." He muttered curtly, Dick laughing at his Batman way of saying that he did love him.

"I love you too you big old asshole." Dick answered after a minute and Bruce in that moment knew he would always have family. That he would always have a son.


finding nothing but questions and devils


"Add the blood into this beaker, cross breed the speedster's blood with my own and then cross it with that of a loin for strength and that of a snake for the poison to work it's way in to add to the mix of healing and the cure should become a greenish color and then when I inject it—"

Ron please. Save me. Don't allow me to die in this inferno!

He growled lowly, "Quiet Mother!" Aeron Hyades seethed, releasing the glass bottle in his hand and smacking at his forehead. "You told Father to get me out first so you must live with your decision!"

Save me my darling, save me. Save me. Save me.

Aeron yanked at his hair, tugging and pulling and hoping the pain would make her shut up. She had screamed to his father, 'save the boy, save my son' instead of going back to get to her.

She knew the risks.

She knew the chances of her survival!

She knew it wouldn't have been possible for Father to get back to her in time.

Save me. The flames are licking at my skin Ron, save me! Don't let these fiery demons get to me!

"Silence!" He roared, body shaking and fingers numb, as he struggled with gathering all of the liquids into one glass bottle for him to pour into a needle stem. Wallace's blood was the key to everything and it would cause the cure to work. It would work and the crawling in his arms would stop and his mother's voice would stop screaming so damn loud in his head and his ears would no longer ring and his body would no longer be marred and he would be so handsome and so brand new. He would be normal.

Darling their teeth are on my skin! Aeron they are attacking me! Aeron, my sweet dear, help me!

His teeth were clattering and his body was a million degrees as he fumbled with pouring the cure into the needle that would inject it into his system. Were flames scratching at his ankles? Damn it was that the bugs in his arms again?

Save me! Oh dear Lord save me my baby! Ron! Save me . . .

"Shut up Mother! You knew you were going to die and you wanted it to h-happen! So stop talking!" Without any more thought he pulled his sleeve up and slammed the needle into the boldest vein his eyes could find, squeezing the trigger and he groaned as he felt the cure surge through his veins.


i can't go on living this way


M'gann and Gar are with Wally playing a cautious game of mind tic-tac-toe when Wally's eyes widen as a forceful name comes to mind. "Aeron Hyades!"

M'gann glances up at him, confused, "Is this the meds talking Wally?"

He shakes his head rapidly, "No go find Nightwing or Batman or Robin or Batgirl! I need them to search it on the cave computer! It's the name of the man!" M'gann's eyes furrow until the message seems to slap her across the face.

"The man who . . .?"

"Yes."

Gar and her hurry off in search of one of the hacking members of the bat clan, Wally's brain going a mile a minute. If he had the name they could nail this dude for all of the crap he had put them through. The nightmare would be over by then.


nothing's alright, nothing is fine


"Son?" The man stumbles into a half alive experiment room, the wall on the other side of the room replaced by a gaping hole in the wall. "Son? Aeron!"

There's a whoosh sound behind him and the man flips around to see his son before him, completely the same yet completely different.

"That isn't my name anymore Father."

The smirk on his lips is threatening.


i'm running and i'm crying


Tim runs into Wally's room, eyes alert and ready for anything. "Where's Dick?" Wally asked bluntly, having figured the hacker king of all hackers would've been the one to show up.

Tim shook his head, "No idea. Bats said he didn't know either but not to worry."

Wally sighed angrily, "Alright just go to the cave computer and search anything and everything relating to the name Aeron Hyades. You got it?"

Tim nodded eagerly, hurrying off.

A ball of guilt sat in the pit of Wally's stomach.

Something wasn't right.

Why did he feel like he was missing something?


can't go on, living this way, nothing's alright


"Father, you can now call me . . . Victory. Poetic, isn't it?" He spat, the man nodding his head.

"Victory, someone just tried searching up your name. It gave us the location of what I believe is the cave hideout for the Young Justice League."

Aeron grinned, "Tracer worked like a charm huh? I knew Wallace would forget about that part. Everything is going as planned." Aeron glanced back over at his father, "Hack the database. Get me all of the information on every damned kid in that place so we know what we put our subjects up against when he take them back."