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Chapter 16

"You're free now, Bucky."

"Over here, Steve?" Bucky looked to Steve who was sitting at the island in the middle of their new open kitchen. The men Sam had insisted on hiring to help move their furniture were gawking at Bucky who held Steve's beige canvas couch like it weighed nothing. "There's perfect Buck!" Steve grinned at Bucky who smiled back briefly before putting the couch down carefully as not to damage the wooden floor. He scooted it around until it was facing the flat screen TV mounted on the wall between two curtained windows. "We'll finish off here." Steve glanced over at the movers, "Could you do us a favour and start moving Bucky's furniture into his room? They're marked with the red stickers." They all nodded readily, stealing one more glance at Bucky and his metal arm before disappearing out of the apartment's front door. They'd found a nice apartment close to where Bucky used to live with his parents when he was younger. At first, Bucky had suggested that he move in with Steve but Steve had wanted to start over, leave his old apartment and the memories it forced on him, behind. The smell of paint still hung in the air a little. Both men had quickly agreed that a dark shade of grey wasn't going to stay on the living room and kitchen walls. Instead, they had settled on white with an accent running along the upper half of the wall in a thin, red stripe. It wasn't a signal red like the star on Bucky's shoulder; instead it was a wine red, dark and calming against the ivory white. The countertops in the kitchen were made of black marble and reflected any trace of light in the room. The appliances were new and shiny, all a matching silver. Steve had paid careful attention to every detail, wanting to make the apartment harmonious in as many ways as possible. Sam had told him that a neat, clean home would do Bucky the world of good.

"What're you working on there, Stevie?" Bucky had finished off with the couch and had made his way over to Steve, peering over Steve's shoulder at the large A2 poster on the countertop. "It's to help us organise everything." Steve explained.

"You're making a weekly planner?" Bucky asked, leaning down a little until his chin was resting against the top of Steve's head gently.

"Well yeah." Steve muttered defensively. He hadn't missed the note of perplexity in Bucky's voice.

"Sam told me you get Apps for that now."

"We don't need to use an App for that Buck." Steve insisted, "What's wrong with using pen and paper for this?"

"Nothing." Bucky smiled, burying his nose in Steve's soft hair, "We'll use pen and paper then."

"Thanks Buck." Steve's eyes crinkled at the edges and he continued to draw neat lines with a ruler, separating days and hours.

"You gonna make a new one of these every week?" Bucky asked after a short pause.

"No. I'm gonna get this laminated so we can write on it with board markers."

"But Steve." Bucky pulled back, his horrified tone of voice driving Steve to turn in his seat to look at him. Bucky's eyes were wide and he had lifted his right hand to cover his mouth. "What's the matter Buck?" Steve asked, genuinely concerned. Bucky might have finished his intense therapy but that didn't mean he was completely healthy again- if he'll ever be. "You really wanna get it laminated?" Bucky asked, "Isn't that…. Well its modern technology Steve and that just won't do!"

"Oh shove off!" Steve glared at him, shoving at Bucky's left shoulder playfully, "You're full of it, you know that Buck?" Steve added when Bucky started laughing.

"I know but c'mon Stevie! Drawing up a plan on paper like we did back in school?" Bucky bent forward a little, trying to stifle his laughter using his hand. Steve huffed, attempting to smother the grin that spread across his face.

Bucky's laugh was just like he remembered it from all those years back- it was the most beautiful sound in the world to Steve and he couldn't quite get enough of it.

Bucky's rare display of laughter was cut short by the sound of Steve's phone ringing. Groaning, Steve hopped off the bar stool, dragging his socked feet over the wood while he hurried to his own bedroom where he'd left his phone. "I'll go help the movers with my room." Bucky called out from where Steve had left him. "Alright!" Steve called back just as he reached his bed with its bedside table. His heart sank to the pit of his stomach when he recognized the eagle on his phone screen. The contact name made his jaw tighten and his heart began beating a little faster. He knew he couldn't ignore this call. If he ignored it, it was only a matter of time before they showed up at Steve and Bucky's front door and that was the last thing Steve needed. He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly before swiping the green icon across the screen to answer the call. "Steve Rogers." He swallowed, steeling himself for that familiar, respect-demanding voice. "Nick Fury here. It's good to see that you're doing well Captain."

"With all due respect, Director Fury, but I doubt you called to make small talk." Steve shot back, moving to close his bedroom door before taking a seat at his desk. He proceeded to tap his fingers over the dark wood of his desk repeatedly while he listened to Nick Fury talk. "You're right Rogers. I didn't call to see how you were doing. I also didn't call to ask about the fact that you're moving together with an ex-assassin."

"Bucky's been pardoned." Steve insisted tightly.

"I know. We were the ones to authorize it." The director of Shield explained calmly, "There is something concerning him that I need to talk to you about, though." Steve worked his jaw anxiously, eyes searching his room for a suitable distraction. He didn't want to discuss anything with Fury. He didn't hate the man, it was quite the opposite actually. He owed a lot to Fury: Fury had let Steve off without a disciplinary hearing after Steve had jeopardized the last SWAT mission he was on by almost letting himself get killed. Everyone on his team knew what had happened- Steve didn't make the kind of mistakes he had made on that mission. They all knew he had done it on purpose and of course they were legally bound to tell Fury just that once they had all managed, by some miracle, to get out of there alive.

"What is it?" Steve asked, turning his head away from his smartphone to stop Fury from hearing his sigh.

"We took Brock Rumlow into our custody three weeks ago, after your buddy, your Bucky, did one hell of'a number on him." Steve stiffened, his finger-tapping getting a little louder, more frantic, "We sent Rumlow back into Hydra as an informant and he managed to pick up some information about Sergeant Barnes."

"And what's that?"

"They're looking for him." It felt to Steve as though someone had just dunked a bucket of ice water on him. His heart did a jump in his chest and a shuddering breath rattled his chest, forcing its way along his Trachea and out of his mouth. "They're… what?" Steve whispered, trembling blue eyes darting to the door, afraid that Bucky might hear him although he knew that Bucky was preoccupied with getting his room finished. "The Winter Soldier was their best asset Rogers; do you honestly think they'll just let him go like that?"

"I was hoping that... I mean. After. It was. They…" He closed his eyes as tightly as possible, pinching the bridge of his nose while forcing his mind to slow down, "It's been a year. Why haven't they found him yet?"

"We had no data on him." Fury's voice had gone deeper, an emotion, maybe compassion lining his every word, "All the information on James Barnes was kept at the police station he was being held at. The case wasn't made public and Hydra didn't know where to start looking. He was rescued in Russia which isn't exactly close to New York, never mind a small police station close to Manhattan."

"And we didn't go out into public with Bucky often so there were no sightings." Steve pitched in.

"He didn't open a new bank account under his name, didn't sign a mortgage or get a phone contract." Fury added, "Until now."

"Until now." Steve echoed. He was grasping his phone so tightly that its usually harmless edges were digging into the side of his palm painfully. He could hear his racing heartbeat in the ear that was pressed against his smartphone. He felt lightheaded, his legs wracked with pins and needles.

"Why are you telling me this?" Steve asked at a hoarse whisper.

"Because we need you Cap."

"I retired. I quit. I wasn't fit for duty. You know that I almost screwed up Fury I can't-."

"You have something to fight for now, don't you Rogers?"

"I would fight the whole damn world for him, sir." Steve admitted unabashedly, his voice coming out firmer than it had throughout their entire conversation. Fury huffed, an unseen nod accompanying the noise. "Then fight for Barnes. Help us stop the men that are trying to take his freedom away from him again."

"Bucky definitely won't want me to go." Steve admitted, running a hand through his blond hair worriedly.

"I'll leave the convincing up to you." Fury said, "I wouldn't be asking you if I weren't desperate Steve. Without you and Rumlow, I've lost two of my best men."

"I know." Steve admitted, bowing his head, "And Hydra… they're…"

"Dangerous." Fury affirmed, "I need you to lead this mission Steve. If we can put their science division out of business, destroy their files, then we can get to work on taking Hydra apart slowly, one agent at a time without having to worry that those bastards get their filthy hands on Barnes again."

"Okay." Steve closed his eyes, heaving a sigh before speaking up again, "I'll do it. This one mission. For Bucky."

"Thank you, Captain."

"When does the mission start?"

"As soon as you're ready."


For the rest of the day, Steve found himself avoiding Bucky as much as he could, retreating to his room to unpack the rest of his things. Eventually, the boxes were folded up, leaning against the wall next to the door, ready to be recycled. Shelves were full, the bed was covered in Steve's favourite blue duvet and the desk was set up for any sort of work Steve would have to do. Steve's easel stood next to his dresser, the light from his large window falling onto the easel perfectly. Bucky had insisted Steve take this room, despite it being bigger, because he had immediately noticed that the light was perfect for sketching or painting. Steve's eyes found the framed picture of him and Bucky on his dresser next to the tissue box. Bucky still hadn't managed to replicate that carefree smile. He'd been smiling a lot more nowadays, especially ever since Steve had happily agreed to moving together with Bucky again, like they had after Steve's parents had passed away. Flake, as Bucky had dubbed his new service dog, was working miracles, finally enabling Bucky to get some decent sleep. Even knowing that she was there, sleeping at the foot of his bed, was enough to give Bucky the peace of mind that he needed to fall asleep in the evenings.

"Stevie? You in there?" Steve's eyes shot to his door and he got up hastily, moving to sit on his bed and look as casual as possible.

"Door's unlocked Buck." Steve replied. Before Bucky had shipped out, he wouldn't even have knocked, he'd simply have waltzed in without warning. Steve wasn't really complaining about this particular change in habit. The door handle went down and the door opened without a single sound from the hinges. Bucky was wearing a pair of grey jogging pants and a black t-shirt. His long brown hair was damp, tied back in a bun to keep it out of his face. On closer inspection, Steve saw that Bucky's cheeks were slightly flushed. How had Steve not heard the shower running?

"The movers left twenty minutes ago, by the way." Bucky denounced, sauntering into the room, taking his time to look around, "You finished unpacking. Looks nice." He added. Then, his protruding, bright eyes came to rest on Steve. Steve averted his eyes immediately, guilt twisting his gut into a thousand knots. Wordlessly, Bucky made his way over to Steve's bed, sitting down next to him. Steve could smell the apple-scented shampoo that he'd bought Bucky the week before.

"Wanna talk about it?" Bucky asked gently, nudging Steve with his shoulder encouragingly.

"What would you do if someone was trying to lock me away?" Steve risked a glance at Bucky, noting the puzzled look on Bucky's face, "Not the police. Bad people."

"I'd put a bullet between their eyes." Bucky replied immediately, frowning when Steve chuckled, "I mean that Steve. I'm not gonna let anyone touch you." Steve's stomach did a little flip and he had to remind himself what this was about to stop himself from blushing.

"I know you would." Steve replied, leaning over so that his shoulder was pressed against Bucky's, "I'd do the same for you, you know."

"Sure you would Stevie."

"I mean that too." Steve looked Bucky in the eye determinedly, "I won't let anyone do that to you again."

"Is this what you've been thinking about all afternoon?" Bucky asked, tilting his head a little, "That why you didn't come out?"

"I got a call from Fury." Steve decided to stop beating around the bush and just spit it out, realizing to his dismay, that there was no way to sugarcoat this. "Someone I'm supposed to know?" Bucky asked, knowing that his memory still wasn't everything it should be. Steve shook his head before saying, "Nick Fury is the director of Shield."

"Your old employer?" Bucky asked and Steve nodded, "What did he want from you?"

"He's got a job for me."

"But you retired." Bucky's frown was getting stronger and stronger and Steve shifted, working his jaw while he thought about how best to break the news to his friend. "I told Fury the same thing." Steve began nervously, kneading his hands together while he spoke, "He said he needed me for a mission. He said that he needs someone with my skillset. It's not a long-term thing; just one mission."

"What did you say then?" Bucky asked. Steve's eyes widened with realization. Bucky wasn't going to ask him about his mission. He wasn't going to ask him about what he would have to do, where he was going to go. Maybe it was because Bucky, having been in the elite infantry, knew that certain things were confidential. Or it was because he was more worried about the troubled look in Steve's eyes in that moment. Maybe both. "I said yes."

"Figures." Bucky smirked half-heartedly, "Still got that hero-complex of yours."

"This isn't about that!" Steve insisted, "If I don't do this! Someone's gonna suffer."

"Steve, you can't help everyone." Bucky retaliated, a mix of concern and exasperation making him edgy.

"Buck you don't…" Steve broke off, taking a moment to rephrase his sentence before speaking up again quietly, "I have to do this Buck. I just have to."

"Still trying to deal with your survivor's guilt, then?" Bucky shot back, his face growing a slight bit darker. Steve tensed, shifting to sit farther away from Bucky. He felt like he was being attacked, like he had to explain himself to Bucky. Which he didn't. He was doing this to protect Bucky so he had absolutely no explaining to do! He was doing the right thing! Bucky would do the same thing for Steve- he'd even said so himself. So then why did Steve feel guilty?

"What does this have to do with my survivor's guilt?" Steve grumbled defensively, crossing his arms across his chest. Bucky's eyes flicked to said arms before raking up towards Steve's eyes so slowly that it almost made Steve squirm. "You have survivor's guilt because of me." Bucky answered, bitterness lacing his tone. "It's not like you did it on purpose." Steve countered, "Can we discuss that some other time? This has nothing to do with that!"

"What the hell is this about then, Steve?" Bucky raised his voice.

"It's about you!" Steve snapped, "It's about the fact that Hydra is looking for you and that if the SWAT team and I don't do something about it soon, they'll be standing in our apartment, dragging you out by your feet or worse, you actually go with them because they trigger you again and turn you into that soldier they love so much."
Once the words had spilt out, Steve regretted it immediately. Bucky was no longer bitter, worried or angry- he was afraid. At first his face was vacant but then his eyes began to shimmer and tremble. His lips quivered and the plates making up his left arm shifted. The mask of vacancy on Bucky's face cracked then, just as a shuddering breath escaped his pink lips.
"I want to do this Bucky. I'm not gonna let them have you again. I can't lose you again." Steve insisted stubbornly.

"Please don't." Bucky mouthed almost soundlessly, "Don't go there Steve." Bucky was averting his eyes relentlessly, no matter how much Steve made it apparent that he was searching for Bucky's eyes. "Buck I have to."

"What if they hurt you? You don't know what you're dealing with Steve! This is Hydra!" Bucky's eyes flicked up to Steve's, boring into his with an intensity that made Steve's skin crawl.

"I've dealt with Hydra before Buck." Steve assured Bucky gently, "Let me do one more thing for you. Please." He implored, earnest, concerned eyes searching Bucky's stormy ones, trying to convey reassurance. Bucky looked like he was about to either cry or punch a hole into Steve's bedroom wall. He was coming apart in front of Steve like a ball of yarn and no matter how much Steve tried to hold him together, Bucky was slipping through his fingers. Bucky's eyes were darting, trembling, his jaw working. His shoulders were being strung tighter and tighter and when Steve looked down, he saw Bucky's metal hand knead his flesh one harshly, leaving red bruises on Bucky's skin.

"Talk to me Buck." Steve begged, scooting closer to Bucky so that their legs were pressed together. Bucky bowed his head, his mouth opening and closing, unsure of how to word his feelings. After a short pause, Bucky lifted his head, looking at Steve again. "I don't want them to hurt you." Bucky explained, "They can hurt people so badly. Not just physically." He lifted his right hand, tapping his trembling index finger against his temple, "It's all in here. They did it to me…" The memory of it seemed to make Bucky feel sick. He closed his eyes, squeezing them shut as tightly as he could.

"I'm here Buck." Steve promised, suddenly horribly aware that Flake wasn't with them but with Sam at the park. No. Steve could do this. He managed for a year without Flake. "Bucky. Look at me." He requested gently and Bucky complied, lifting his eyes to meet Steve's. He looked hesitant, like he was afraid of being punished. "What's going on in there?" Steve asked, smiling weakly in an attempt to comfort Bucky.

"I don't…" Bucky's voice faded and he gritted his teeth, missing a beat before trying again, "I don't want them to do the same to you. Not you Stevie. Not you."

"But you know that I can't just let them come for you." Steve all but whispered, turning to face Bucky completely and placing a hand on his to stop him from kneading his hands. "I'm not gonna change your mind, am I?" Bucky asked, looking up at Steve through his dark lashes. He looked incredibly fragile in that moment and it made Steve want to stay. More than anything, he wanted to stay and make sure that nothing ever hurt Bucky again. Thing is, he couldn't let Hydra close to Bucky. Facing Hydra again would tear Bucky down, bring back memories that had started fading in light of all the positive things he'd been experiencing. No. This was something Steve had to do. Even if it killed him. He had to protect Bucky.

"No Buck. Sorry but not even you can change my mind about this."

"If you die Stevie… if you don't come back-."

"I will!" Steve assured Bucky firmly before the latter could continue, "I will come back!"

"There're things I haven't figured out yet." Bucky said in a shaky voice, "So you have to come back. I need your help to figure them out."

"Okay." Steve smiled, lacing his fingers with the fingers of Bucky's right hand, holding onto his best friend's warm hand firmly. Bucky looked startled at first but then his face softened and he grasped onto Steve's hand tightly.

"When I get back, I'll help you figure the rest out." Steve promised, "We'll figure things out… together; until the end of the line."


Noooo Hydraaaa... :(
So there you have it guys! I really hope you enjoyed it!
Also, what do you think is gonna happen in the next few chapters?
Thanks again for you encouraging words in the last reviews and thank you for sticking with me!

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