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So here you have the next chapter! Things are getting really serious guys! :0


Chapter 17

He wasn't good at waiting. The Winter Soldier was a master at it but Bucky Barnes wasn't the most patient person to walk the earth. His right leg bobbed up and down nervously while he fidgeted, running the fingernail of his right index finger along one of the grooves of his left wrist, trying to clear the groove of non-existent dirt. His mind was racing. He knew that Steve had told him that there was no talking him out of it but still, his mind tried to come up with one, just one reason good enough to keep Steve within his grasp. He'd lost Steve before, they'd taken him away from him once before- he couldn't bear the thought of that happening again. He had been up all night, pacing up and down in his room while forcing down the impulse to sneak into Steve's room and call Fury, tell him that this was a ridiculous idea and that he would only get Steve over Bucky's dead body. Steve wouldn't want Bucky to do that though, so he hadn't. Instead, he had spent his night pacing, waking Steve in time for his mission and had accompanied Steve to the Shield building. He could faintly remember the day he had left with the army. He didn't want this time to be like the last time. He was going to stand by Steve's side right until Steve left, the way Bucky had wanted Steve to all those years back. He had to be okay with this, or, at lease pretend like he was. He had to make this as easy as possible for Steve. It's what Steve would do for Bucky.

He was snapped back to reality by a cold, wet nose that pushed against the back of his flesh hand. His eyes shifted from the linoleum floor to Flake who was watching him calmly. He sighed, running his hand over her head in a silent gesture of gratitude. Subconsciously, he was so focused on listening for any noises in the vacant corridor he was sitting in, that the sound of a lock clicking open almost hurt his ears. He lifted his head, eyes finding Steve immediately. He was standing right outside of the changing room, sheepish smile on his face. Bucky got up from the chair he had been sitting on, standing up to his full height and still, he felt smaller than Steve. Steve was dressed clad in black Kevlar. The bulletproof vest that adorned his chest reminded Bucky a little too much of the one he had worn as the Winter Soldier. Underneath the vest, he was wearing a long-sleeve turtleneck that obscured Steve's thick neck. An ammunition belt was strapped around his waist, holding up the loose black cargo pants he was wearing. Bucky's eyes went from Steve's long legs all the way up, past that horribly familiar vest, along the non-existent line of his neck until they rested on Steve's bright blue eyes. The azure blue of Steve's eyes looked like a beacon of light in the blanket of black covering his broad-shouldered body.

"Hey." Steve breathed out nervously, shifting uncomfortably under Bucky's strong gaze.

"Hey Stevie." Bucky attempted a smirk, hoping that it wasn't going to betray how unsettled he was to let Steve leave on this mission. He didn't want Steve to go. To him, in his memories and in his mind, Steve was still someone who needed to be protected; not someone who did the protecting. Sure, he had protected countless damsels in distress even when he had been tiny and fragile but Bucky had always had to help him out. The concept of Steve actually going so far as to fight Hydra to protect him hurt Bucky's mind, made him feel edgy, aggressive almost, the way he used to feel at the beginning of his therapy.

"Look like a proper soldier now." Bucky added in an attempt to disperse the nervous tension in Steve's frame.

"Yeah?" Steve asked bashfully, bowing his head and looking down at his heavy black boots, scuffing them across the floor like the girls used to when Bucky would compliment them. "Yeah. Just like you always wanted Stevie." The smile on Bucky's face was bittersweet and no matter how much Steve wanted to pretend like he didn't see it, the broken look on Bucky's face shook him to the core and broke his heart. "Thanks for coming to see me off." Steve added, looking around the empty corridor for lack of anything better to do with his eyes. "There ain't a place I'd rather be right now." Bucky assured Steve firmly. Then he did something that he hadn't done since the day before Bucky had left for his mission with the army. He slung his arm around Steve lazily, jostling him a little until Steve started laughing. He started walking, pulling Steve with him, firmly in his one-armed embrace. Steve didn't say anything, afraid of ruining the moment and Bucky stayed silent also, afraid that Steve would notice that he wasn't as relaxed about this is he might want Steve to believe.


A tall man wearing a black longcoat stood in front of a console, looking up at a screen that was easily the size of a cinema screen. Bucky remembered the room. Steve had shown him this part of the Shield building the last time they had visited. He had called it operations control. The room was built up similarly to the mission control rooms at NASA with rows of tables with computers at which agents were seated. Bucky's eyes were drawn to the side to an agent that was making his way over to them. He was scrawny with wrists so thin Bucky figured he could break them easily. His lanky legs moved without grace and his face was scrunched up in an attempt to seem composed. His eyes were darting, resting on Flake for a moment before looking between the two men. When he saw that Bucky was watching him, he averted his eyes for the rest of the way over, biting down on his lower lip nervously. "I… I'm sorry sir but…" The man looked from Bucky down to Flake who was standing to his left, sniffing out her surroundings attentively.

"She's my service dog." Bucky said shortly, "Got a problem with that?" The second part just slipped right out and if Bucky weren't slightly amused by the way the agent shrunk in on himself, he might have cringed apologetically. A gentle pressure against his left shoulder drew his attention to Steve. This time Bucky did cringe because Steve was frowning at him, his eyes shimmering with concern aimed more at Bucky than the agent. "Sorry." Bucky muttered, turning his attention back to the room to escape the look on Steve's face. "A… are you Captain Rogers?" The agent stuttered out, giving Steve a thankful glance when the latter turned his attention away from Bucky. "Yeah that's me." Steve affirmed, letting his hand slide down the entire length of Bucky's right arm in a reassuring gesture before letting his hand drop completely. The agent didn't notice and if he did, he was probably too scared of Bucky to show that he had. Instead, the agent nodded, looking over at the tall man at the console. "Director Fury said you'd be here. Mr. Stark wants to talk to you before you and your team head out."

"Stark?" Steve frowned, "What's Tony doing here?"

"Howard, actually." The agent corrected, pride making his chest swell a little, "Howard Stark has been helping Shield for the past two years. He's been helping us improve our weapons and armour."

"Figures a Stark would get involved in stuff like this." Bucky muttered, glancing at the agent who was doing everything in his power to pretend like Bucky wasn't there. The man's negative reaction was a clear indicator to Bucky that he must look just as tense as he felt. He was surprised that Flake hadn't intervened yet. "Is Howard around?" Steve kept the conversation going, working hard to make sure that his tone was relaxed and pleasant both for his sake and Bucky's. "Sure. Right this way, Captain." The man spun on his heel gracelessly, fumbling with his hands nervously while he scurried over to a table set up at the side of the room. Other men dressed in Kevlar were crowded around it. One man, well-aged with a white moustache and styled back hair, stood out. He was smiling brightly, gesticulating wildly while he spoke to one of the men. As soon as the agent had successfully escorted them to the table, he nodded at Steve and Bucky before taking his leave, looking rather relieved as he did so.

"Mr. Stark?"

"Steve!" Howard interrupted his conversation with the SWAT agent immediately, turning his undivided attention to Steve, "It's so good to finally meet you! I've heard so many stories about your time at Shield! I was ecstatic when I heard that I would get the chance to meet you in person."

"Well…" Steve trailed off, bowing his head to look at the floor. He was blushing, obviously at a loss for words. Steve had never been good at accepting or responding to compliments. The memory made Bucky smile lightly. "Who are your two companions?" Howard bent forward a little, stretching his hand out to pet Flake. She ignored the gesture, looking up at Bucky instead. Steve had expected Howard to be surprised at this but instead he smiled, nodding understandingly. "You have a well-trained service dog there." Howard commented before stretching out his hand to Bucky who took it with his left, giving it a brief shake. "Are you a friend of Steve's?" The question, for reasons unknown to Bucky, made the brunet bristle and Flake moved to stand between Howard and Bucky, giving Bucky more room. "Bucky's my best guy actually." Steve spoke up quickly, smiling proudly, eyes alight with fondness, "We've known each other ever since we were kids."

"It's good to have a friend like that, someone you can always rely on." Howard nodded, smiling at whatever person popped into his mind at the description, "Well!" And then the smile was gone and he clapped his hands together, whirling around like Tony always did and edging closer to the table. The men standing around the table cleared away instantly, giving Steve a nod while doing so. "Rhodey told me this proved useful last time?" Howard picked up a round shield from the table, holding it out for Steve to take. Bucky felt a cold shiver run down his spine when his brain immediately reminded him of what the shield felt like under his fists.

"The shield." Steve looked down at it, testing its weight while he slid his arm through the strap, "It was quite useful actually."

"Then please, take it with you on this mission." Howard said, tapping his index finger against the vibranium, "I'd like to see how it does during a real mission."

"With all due respect," Steve smiled, "if this thing managed to survive Bucky, then I'm sure it'll be able to take whatever Hydra throws at it."

"So you are Sergeant James Barnes after all!" Howard looked far too excited by that fact than he should. Bucky tensed, Flake was on alert and Steve feared a repeat of any of the tense and awkward encounters Bucky had had with a different Stark. "I thought you looked familiar, I just didn't want to come out and say it right off the bat." Howard explained excitedly, "I read the report about how you went missing and then how you were found, brainwashed and lethal." Steve drew in a breath to talk, to defend Bucky in the same moment that Flake reached up her nose to shove at Bucky who was looking so tense that Steve was afraid his muscles might rupture.

"Hey there Steve!"

The tension drained from Bucky instantaneously and Flake licked her chops, bowing her head again once she felt the shift in him. Steve's eyes found the red-head who was sauntering towards them leisurely. He wanted to run up to her and hug her for all he cared. Natasha, as always, had impeccable timing. Her eyes were trained on Bucky who was still staring at Howard, who, totally oblivious to Bucky's glare, was smiling at Natasha.

"Good to see you." Steve breathed, giving her a tight hug, hoping that it would convey how thankful he was that she had shown up when she did. "Hey there Barnes." Natasha's voice was firm, bold and demanding enough that it managed to snap Bucky out of it. He blinked, working his jaw for a moment before looking over at Natasha. His eyes widened in surprise when he saw that she was wearing a skin-tight spandex suit topped with leather padding. "What're you looking at me like that for?" Natasha bobbed her head to the side with a quirky smile, "How do you think I managed to read you file? You don't honestly think they leave them open for everyone to see?"

"What're you doing here then?" Bucky asked her.

"Well I was told that Captain Rogers needed some help kicking some butt and I was getting a little bored of the quiet life so I jumped aboard."

"Natasha used to work as an agent for Shield." Howard explained, "She was one of the best and undoubtedly the deadliest."

"She's a good spy but not really one for teamwork." Steve grinned, earning a shove from Natasha, "But still… I'm grateful that you came." He added, his smile fading when he pursed his lips, the line between his eyebrows appearing again, "We can use all the help we can get."

"Lighten up Rogers." Natasha smirked, "Up until now, there hasn't been a job either of us couldn't finish. We'll be fine."

Bucky wanted to yell at both of them. He wanted to tell them that they were being reckless. They had only taken twenty-four hours to plan this operation and in Bucky's mind, that was in no way long enough for the calibre of enemy they were about to face off against. He didn't doubt that Natasha was capable, in fact, he had a deep-rooted respect for her and that only from talking to her but still, this was Hydra! Why didn't anyone seem to understand that? Hydra had managed to exist, healthy and striving, since the second World War. An organization didn't manage that unless it was good. On top of that, they had managed to stay hidden, managed to experiment on humans for decades without anyone finding out. They had managed to assassinate a large number of important people without anyone even catching wind of them. Most of their success in that area rested solely on the Winter Soldier Project and it made Bucky sick to think about it. Bucky could still remember all of the assassinations they had made him do- the victims didn't even remotely suspect that anyone could be out for their lives and yet all of them were six feet under now and what if that happened to Steve? What if he was one of those victims that didn't see it coming? What if he went in there all optimistic just to be shot on sight? What if Steve didn't come back? What if they kept him? Turned him into another Winter Soldier? What if they made Steve forget Bucky? What would Bucky do then? If Steve no longer knew who Bucky was, then how was Bucky supposed to know? He needed Steve the way Pinocchio needed Jiminy Cricket! Steve wasn't allowed to forget Bucky! If he did, then Bucky might as well be dead! What if they hurt him?! What if they hurt Steve?! Not Steve! Not his Stevie! If anything happened to him. Oh god if anything happened to-.

A high-pitched bark and a warm hand on the back of his neck snapped him back to reality and he realized that he was breathing heavily, beads of sweat forming on his wrinkled forehead. He blinked his thoughts away, forcing his lungs to slow down. His lips were dry so he licked them, looking down at Flake before looking at Steve. "She didn't manage to snap you out of it immediately." Steve muttered, his voice soothing and laced with concern, "Bucky… is everything okay?"

"I'm fine." Bucky responded automatically. It was a lie that not even Howard Stark bought judging by the sceptical tilt of his head.

"It's about this mission." Steve answered his own question, "I know this is hard on you and I know you're not happy about me going but you know that I have to do this."

"You don't." Bucky begged to differ sharply, locking eyes with Steve's equally as stubborn ones.

"I do." He retorted quietly, "I won't be satisfied until every Hydra agent is either dead or captured. I'm not letting even a single one of them get their filthy hands on you again."

"Steve please." It was Bucky's last plea but it sounded hollow and tired like a long-forgotten cry for help. Bucky's shoulders slumped and he bowed his head, his long brown hair falling to curtain his face. "Hey." Steve said softly, lifting Bucky's chin with his hand, "One and a half days. That's how long I'll be gone. Sam said he'll pick you up after this and stay with you and before you know it, I'll be back."

"But Steve… Hydra…" Bucky didn't even care that he was in a room filled with agents. He didn't care that Howard Stark and Natasha Romanoff were right there, listening, watching. He felt like he was falling apart more and more the closer the moment of Steve's departure got and he could no longer hide it. Bucky wasn't panicking, he wasn't angry- Flake would have made herself known if either were the case. He was just… sad; so incredibly sad. To him, it already felt like Steve was gone, like the last of him was slipping through his fingers. He faintly remembered the first few wipes, the way he had clung onto the image of a frail, sickly Steve siting on their tattered old couch, sketching. He had reached out to that Steve, despite his shackles, despite his aching body. He had reached out, tried to grab a hold of him and hold on to him for dear life. He had been desperate to hold on to Steve because he had always been like an anchor in every storm, firm and unwavering. He had reached out but he had never quite been able to take a hold of him and eventually, the memory of Steve seeped through his fingers like sand, the only thing remaining being the name and the way it made him feel.

"Steve…"

"Do you trust me Buck?"

"Of course I do." Bucky's hazy eyes refocused and he focused on Steve's face. He counted the freckles again, one by one, taking his time, committing everything to memory. "Then trust me when I say that I can do this. I'm strong enough."

"You'll be back in one and half days?"

"I promise." Steve grinned at Bucky who attempted to smile back, "After all, someone's gotta look after you."

"Punk." Bucky breathed before wrapping Steve up in an impossibly tight hug, nestling his head firmly in the crook of Steve's neck.

"Jerk." Steve whispered, returning Bucky's desperate hug with the same sense of urgency, with the same sense of fear that maybe, Steve was wrong; that Steve wasn't going to make it back.

"I'll be back Buck." Steve mumbled, twisting Bucky's shirt in his fisted hands, taking in a deep breath of air, of Bucky, "I promise I'll be back. Before you know. I'll be back."

I'll be back.


There you have it! The next chapter will be Steve going off to kick Hydra's butt! Let's hope everything works out the way Steve wants it to!
So what did you guys think? Leave a review to let me know!

Thank you so much for reading up til now! I'll see you next week then!