Hey everyone!
So here you go! This is one of the longest chapters I've written for this fanfiction. I really hope you like it! Also, thank you so much for your amazing reviews! They motivate me to keep writing so thank you so much!
Enjoy the chapter! Stevie's gonna go kick butt ya'll!
Chapter 18
"He didn't tell you, did he? That he almost killed himself on his last mission."
Steve was gone. He was gone. He was gone and Bucky felt like he was coming apart at the seams. He wanted to scream, wanted to sink to the ground. He felt like he was back in Hydra's facility, locked into an isolation cell. He couldn't recall how long they had left him in there, how long he was forced to be alone with the Soldier. He didn't know how long they had forced him to be by himself with his mixed up, fragmented memories and the reality that he was now a killer. He couldn't recall any of his thoughts that had blurred together into white noise that only cleared once someone came to drag him out of the cold cell.
Being alone had become the worst type of torture imaginable for Bucky, considering his past. Steve kept Bucky's eyes on the future, kept him focused on the positives. Steve was the light to the darkness Hydra had put into Bucky's soul. Bucky hoped that, if Steve was around long enough, that the darkness would disappear completely. But now, Steve had gone off to fight the very people that had the power to break Bucky down into his smallest pieces and reassemble him, mould him into a monster against his will. The thought of possibly losing Steve hurt Bucky, made him feel as though he had barbed wire wrapped around his throat and lungs, digging into his flesh mercilessly. It made him feel like he was falling apart, like the coping-mechanisms Sam and Steve had taught him were useless. He felt like he was being pulled back farther and farther into his past, to a mindset that was volatile and instable like a house of cards. But no. He had to keep it together. At least until Sam had brought him back to their apartment. At least until he could crawl under Steve's blankets and wait for him there.
Bucky clutched onto the single dog tag resting in his hand. He'd given the second one and the chain to Steve, insisting he take it with him. Once the Shield jet had taken off, carrying Steve to Europe and out of sight, out of reach, Bucky had resorted to staring down at his dog tag dismally, waiting for Sam to fetch him. He didn't trust himself to move on his own. He wanted orders again, someone who could help him navigate through the unbearable feeling of unease welling up in him. "James B. Barnes." He read the name out loud, like a reminder to himself, running his metal thumb across the thin metal sheet.
He thought that maybe he had just figured something out… that something had dawned on him the moment he'd watched Steve walk up the ramp at the back of the jet. The problem was, now that Steve wasn't around, Bucky didn't know what to do with this new revelation…
"There he goes." A man, Bucky recognized him from operations control, drew up next to him on the aircraft pad. He was wearing an eyepatch over one of his eyes, the strap clearly visible on his bald head.
"Sir?" Bucky didn't know why he was addressing the man with sir, but something about the man demanded his respect. He had the look of a general and his long black cloak was nothing short of imposing all on its own, even without the eyepatch and the cold glare in his remaining eye. "I saw you standing with Cap before he left. Am I right in assuming you're James Barnes?"
"Yeah. And you are?"
"Director Nickolas J. Fury." The man introduced himself, folding his gloved hands behind his back. His eye was on the sky, settled there where the jet had disappeared behind a cluster of clouds painted orange by the setting sun, "I am the Director of Shield. I supervised Captain Rogers' last mission before he was forced to resign." A spark, a memory that had initially bothered Bucky, drifted back to the surface. When they had first visited Shield, Bucky had taken note of the fact that Steve had seemed a little off, like he was keeping something from Bucky knowingly. A secret; something Steve didn't want Bucky to know about. Steve had mentioned that he had resigned, not that he had been forced to resign.
"He was discharged?" Buck voiced his confusion, looking over at Fury for clarification. Fury averted his eye from the sky to look at Bucky, nodding slowly when he saw how confused Bucky looked. "What version of the story did he tell you?" Fury asked him quietly.
"He told me he resigned shortly after he heard that I had apparently died overseas."
"Shortly being roughly a year afterwards." Fury stated, looking back at the red sky overhead, "After he got the news, he threw himself into work, tried to take as many jobs as he could."
"Trying to cope." Bucky frowned and Fury nodded, "So what's your version, Director?" Bucky clenched his jaw, biting down on his tongue. An uneasy feeling welled up in his stomach. He felt antsy, uncomfortable. His right hand found Flake's head instinctively, searching for an anchor which the dog readily supplied.
"After his last mission, Steve and I both agreed that it was better he resign. We decided to forgo any disciplinary actions in light of the circumstances he was in but we were unable to keep him."
"Disciplinary-." Bucky shook his head, eyebrows knitting together in confusion, "Why would you need to take any disciplinary actions?"
"He didn't tell you, did he? That he almost killed himself on his last mission."
It felt to Bucky as though someone had just poured ice water down his throat right before setting his skin on fire. His balance set out and he stumbled to the side a little only barely managing to catch himself before he fell over. "He wouldn't. But Steve. What do you mean he…" his voice trailed off, a symptom of his inability to form a coherent sentence. Flake nudged him, pressing herself against his leg to ground him.
"He only joined Shield because of you, you know?" Fury added casually, "He came here with the goal to form a team strong enough to fight overseas, to assist the army. To assist you." Fury seemed unaware or completely indifferent to Bucky's diminishing composure. Bucky was hyperventilating, his chest tightening uncomfortably. The plates of his metal arm were recalibrating, the stress he was under fooling the arm into thinking it was going to be used at any moment. He felt like he was in a nightmare, falling. He felt like he did in the moments after the IED had gone off, tearing their truck and their bodies into pieces. It was a numb feeling, like he was completely detached from reality, floating and unable to grasp onto anything of substance.
Steve had tried to end his life.
Steve, the man who never gave up had almost given up, had almost thrown everything away. The last mission he had gone on had almost cost him his life and now he was out there again, with the same team, wearing the same uniform… probably ready to throw his life away if he needed to…
"Told him not to do anything stupid until I get back." Bucky gritted out hoarsely.
Suddenly everything became crystal clear again and his mind settled, his body stilling. Without a word, he turned to the exit, walking past agents that watched him warily while making sure to keep out of his way. Flake was right at his side, trotting to keep up with him.
Steve shivered. He was glad that they were finally out of the snow. The inside of the base wasn't that much warmer than outside though, their breath still clearly visible every time they exhaled. The guards were lying at his feet, dead. It had been quite some time since he'd seen dead bodies lying around, blood spilling out of their corpses. It was a sight he didn't digest easily but his mind was stubbornly set on only one goal- destroy Hydra. His blue eyes skimmed over every corpse, making sure none of them were breathing anymore. They couldn't afford to have one of them get up and alert the others of the team's presence. Once he was satisfied, his eyes flicked to Natasha who had been checking the corpses also. She nodded briefly, confirming that every agent was dead and posed no threat to their operation. "Okay let's go." Steve whispered, "Stay close to the walls, stay quiet and stay behind me."
"Roger that." The team responded, matching Steve's whisper. Natasha and Dum Dum were directly behind Steve, pressing their bodies against the grey concrete wall. The other members that Steve had personally chosen, Jim Morita, Gabe Jones, Dernier and Falsworth, were close at their heels, muted guns pointing forward. The team consisted of Steve's old SWAT-mates. Most of them had retired or gone on to other jobs within Shield after Steve had been discharged. When Steve had asked them for their help though, they had jumped on the bandwagon immediately. Most of them hadn't even asked what the help consisted of. All they wanted to do was help Steve, readily, regardless of what he needed help with, regardless of the risk or the cost. They were the closest Steve had had to a family after Bucky's apparent death. On their flight to Europe, Steve had quickly found himself regretting his decision not to contact his team after he left Shield. They deserved better. And so, Steve had promised himself that if he survived this, he would never lose sight of his brothers in arms again. Not after how unconditionally supportive they had been, even after Steve had jeopardized their last mission.
The corridors they walked through were bland, made of concrete. Pipes hung above their heads along with improvised lamps that swayed precariously, some flickering as though they were about to burn out. Steve wasn't sure whether it was starting to get warmer the longer they walked, or whether he was simply getting used to the temperatures. Natasha had the best hearing out of all of them, keeping her ears perked for the sound of approaching agents. When too many agents were making their way towards them, they would hide quickly, disappearing into dark corners effortlessly, waiting for the group of agents to pass. While they walked, Steve at the front of their group, he used his shield to cover his body and the people behind him as best as he could. Guns were pointed in the direction they were walking, hearts hammering, adrenaline going and silent prayers being prayed like mantras.
The deeper they got into the facility, the more Steve managed to make out directions written on the walls in a variety of different colours. Whatever Russian Steve didn't understand, Natasha translated with ease. They had two goals: the science facility and the control room. Steve had suggested the strategy that they would split up. Some of them would head to the science facility while the others would aim for the control centre of the base to put as many Hydra agents out of commission as possible before they could get away and alert the other bases.
Steve hadn't been on a lot of missions with Natasha but it didn't take long before every single one of them was entirely convinced that Natasha was frighteningly good at silent assassinations.
"Glad she's on our side." Dum Dum muttered and the rest agreed with a unanimous nod.
"Left." Natasha hissed and Steve slowed down, edging closer to the corner they were about to go around. He drew in a sharp breath when he heard two pairs of footsteps making their way towards them. Steve held up his free hand, forming a two with his fingers. Natasha nodded, edging to stand next to Steve, crouching down, ready to pounce. Steve had hardly seen the two men coming around the corner before Natasha jumped into action. She used the wall to catapult herself at one of them, wrapping her legs around his neck and dragging him to the floor. Instinctively, Steve pulled the shield to the side, and punched the remaining man in the face with his right hand. The man stumbled but managed to break his fall with the wall. Steve noticed him draw in a sharp breath like he was about to yell and he drew his left arm back before bringing it forward and slamming the side of the shield into the man's temple. The vibranium whistled, the shock of the impact buzzing through Steve's arm. A few droplets of blood stained the silver vibranium but the man was silenced, sliding to the floor limply, eyes rolling back in his head.
"I need to get me one of those." Falsworth commented jokily, earning some chuckles from his comrades.
"Are you done yet?" Natasha asked Steve, leaning against the wall next to the man whose neck she had snapped.
"When did you do that?" Dum Dum asked her and she smirked at him.
"While Steve was still trying to figure out how to fight." Steve smiled at her, rolling his eyes before taking the lead again.
"Get ready everyone. We're getting closer to the point where we're going to have to split up." Steve announced quietly and everyone nodded. The smiles on their faces were replaced by concentrated frowns instantly and Steve took a deep breath, lifting his shield and moving forward, taking the corner to the left.
"Is it just me or is this place pretty poorly guarded?" Dum Dum whispered once they'd split up. The larger group had gone to the command centre of the building, knowing that there were bound to be more agents around there, leaving Steve and Dum Dum to find the science department on their own. "Agreed." Steve whispered back, "Maybe it's because they don't have an Asset to protect anymore."
"Do you really think they just gave up after Bucky escaped?" Dum Dum asked, readjusting his melon hat before lifting his gun again, pointing it ahead of Steve while he followed the taller blond.
"I wish they had." Steve confided dismally, "They were looking for leads to follow in order to find Bucky. Up until two weeks ago, Bucky had been completely off the radar but now he's got his own phone and own place. He's leaving footprints to follow again so they're bound to find him eventually."
"Makes sense." Dum Dum nodded, "That's probably why it's so quiet here. They're more focused on finding the Asset than making a new one."
"My guess is that they're spread out across the other Hydra bases now." Steve whispered.
"Spread out to follow as many leads on Bucky as possible." Dum Dum agreed, frowning.
"Probably. But if we can stop their science branch and destroy all the records on the Winter Solder, it'll be a lot easier to flush out the rest. The Winter Soldier Project is bound to be confidential. I doubt a lot of agents were told the specifics."
"Then let's make sure we kick their asses, huh Captain?" Dum Dum smirked. Steve risked a glance over his shoulder to shoot Dum Dum a smirk of his own. "That's the plan." Steve affirmed, turning his attention back to the front to watch the path ahead.
The two fell into a comfortable, focused silence while they advanced, following the writing on the wall towards the science facility. There were hardly any guards around and those that were, were quickly silenced with the help of Steve's shield and Dum Dum's fist. The two worked together seamlessly, understanding each other without words, bodies dancing around each other while they fought. Steve had to admit that part of him had missed this. He missed being a part of a team. Sure, working with Sam was similar to working in a team but he didn't have the same feeling of comradery that he got when he was with his SWAT team.
Steve's calves were starting to ache from him trying to be light-footed. The weight of the boots was a weight he was no-longer used to carrying and the uniform he was wearing weighed down on him greatly. He kept having to remind himself to breathe, to think clearly, to stop his mind from wandering to Bucky. He had promised Bucky that he'd be back within one and a half days. The flight to Europe had taken them roughly half a day and everything from that point on had been a blur. Steve didn't know how much time had gone by since then. He also didn't know how long they'd been in the Hydra base. He hoped he'd still make it back in time without making Bucky worry. His fingers itched to pull out the dog tag he had stuffed underneath his shirt, wanted to see Bucky's name, wanted to feel connected to him despite the ocean that lay between them.
Steve was ripped back to reality violently by the sound of a gun being fired. The whistling vibranium vibrated against his arm, the shield deflecting the bullet effortlessly. But a gunshot had been fired. A loud gunshot. How could Steve lose focus like that?! He gritted his teeth angrily, lurching forward, kicking the man in the knee, crushing his kneecap. The agent cried out, collapsing to the floor immediately.
"Other agents will be here any moment." Dum Dum cried, firing a single, silent shot that landed between the agent's eyes, "We're almost there! Go ahead, I'll keep them away."
"But Dum Dum-."
"No! These corridors echo like school halls, they're bound to have heard the gunshot and guy screamin' like a girl. I doubt there'll be any more guards from this point on, the lab's just 'round the corner."
"You'll join me when you're done?"
"Count on it Captain!" Dum Dum grinned at him, eyes sparkling with exhilaration.
"Take this!" He pulled his pistol out of the holster on his leg, throwing it to Dum Dum who caught it with ease, "It'll be more help to you than me."
"What 'bout you?" Dum Dum asked.
"I got this." Steve lifted the shield a little, gesturing to it with his eyes, "Make sure you stay alive, alright Dum Dum?"
"Roger that! Now go rip those Hydra bastards a new one, Cap!"
"It would be my personal pleasure." Steve promised, saluting Dum Dum before hurrying off. His legs carried him as fast as they could, boots drumming against the cement floor. He was only a few meters away when he heard Dum Dum hurl profanities at what Steve could only assume were Hydra agents. Moments later, the passageway was filled with gunshots and groaning agents. Steve shook his head, smiling while he sprinted along the corridor, keeping his eyes on the directions on the wall. The word for the science facility was painted in red, a red line drawn on the wall telling him where to go. Any agent that was unlucky enough to run into Steve was struck down immediately, left an unconscious or dead body in his wake. He didn't have time to waste on fighting agents! He had to find the lab, he had to destroy the files on the Winter Soldier!
Steve skidded around the corner, using his shield to protect his shoulder when he stumbled to the side, slamming into the wall. He regained his footing quickly, pressing forward, disregarding his aching muscles and following the red line until it turned into an arrow and he sped up, sprinting up to the door marked with a red doorframe. He came to an abrupt halt, his boots giving him so much traction that he almost tripped and fell. He looked around the corridor to make sure that no-one had followed him before allowing himself a moment to compose himself. His breaths were heavy and somewhere in the back of his mind, old habits made him afraid of getting an asthma attack like he used to.
Ever since he'd entered the Hydra base through its large metal doors, Steve had managed to disregard the fact that Bucky had walked these halls, that his screams had echoed off the cement walls he was surrounded with. He had had to look after his team, make sure that they were safe- it had been a welcome distraction. He hadn't expected to be on his own when he arrived at the lab yet there he was, alone with his worst nightmares, all hiding in a single room. The science facility was probably where the worst of it had happened. Steve didn't know what was waiting for him on the other side of the metal door but he knew that he wasn't allowed to let it break him- he wasn't going to let his team down again! He wasn't going to let Bucky down again!
"For Bucky." He told himself, taking one last breath before opening the door. He held up his shield, covering his body as best as he could while he edged into the lab slowly. There was so much new information that Steve wanted to take in, so many things to see but he forced himself to slow down, telling himself to look for possible threats first. Once he was in, he closed the door behind him without turning his back on the room. While most of the room was an open book to him, the entire right side of the room was curtained off, leaving room for someone to hide behind. He stood still for a moment, listening. A machine in the far corner of the room was buzzing and Steve could hear a tap dripping somewhere behind the curtain. He let out another slow breath, getting his muscles to relax. If they were too tense, he wouldn't be able to spring into action quickly enough if the need be. He was no super soldier like Bucky.
The lab had the same cement walls as the corridors and white tiles with dirty grooves between each of them. Most of the lab consisted of graphs pinned to the corkboards hung on the walls and endless drawers probably filled with information on test subjects. There was a silver table in the middle of the room with a drain in the one end. It looked like the tables belonging to veterinary practices with the difference that this table had leather cuffs for wrists, neck and ankles. Steve scanned the room methodically one last time before allowing himself to move, edging towards the table. On closer inspection, it had a dent there where the head would be. He walked around to the left side of the table, spotting a second cuff, made of metal, folded back, out of sight underneath the table until it was needed. He bent down, checking on the right side also but the metal cuff was only on the left side. "For Bucky's metal arm." Steve breathed out shakily. He was fighting with a constant increase of nausea that was going to make him throw up if this got any worse. His mind was supplying vivid, horrifying images of Bucky strapped to the table, slamming his head into the table so hard that it left the dent that was there like an echo of a horror story. He readjusted his shield on his arm, lifting it up to cover his torso before walking over to the white curtain. He pulled at it until there was a gap small enough for him to peek through. His eyes swept the new space vaguely, looking for movement. When there was none, he pulled the curtain out of the way completely to get a full view of the room behind it. There were drains all over the floor and a shower head was attached to a hook on the wall in the far right corner of the room. Droplets of water were dripping from the showerhead but the floor was mostly dry. In the corner, opposite to the showerhead, Steve found a bed that looked exactly like a hospital bed. It was covered in a plastic sheet, surrounded by numerous machines one would find in the ICU or in the room of… Steve's chest tightened… in the room of coma patients. This was where they had kept Bucky in his comas. Right here, in this room that looked more like a storage room in a butchery. It was cold, smelt mouldy and rancid. No wonder there was a thick plastic curtain to separate this side of the room from the rest of the lab.
Again, his mind brought forth those images and he cringed, eyes beginning to burn with the need to cry. This was where they had done all the operations on him, where he had been put into comas, hosed down afterwards. This was where they had changed him into the Winter Soldier. Steve looked around the tiled room for the chair Bucky had told him about but he found none. The machine used for the wiping must be in a different room. He walked over to the bed numbly, brushing his hand across the thin pillow. He was tempted to bend down to see if it smelt like Bucky but he knew that it would break him if it did. He wondered how many countless hours Bucky had spent lying on that very bed in a coma, waiting to be woken up into another nightmare again. The entire room sent shivers down his spine and he wrapped his arms around his body protectively, backing away from the bed slowly.
He wondered, for a gruelling moment, what these walls would tell him if they could speak. He had heard stories of people who had visited the sights of old death and concentration camps from the Nazi era. They had said that one could sense it, sense the death, the torture and the agony. It weighed down the air like a foul stench, the walls, the buildings looking haunted and old like gravestones in a cemetery.
Steve could sense it.
Steve could sense the anguish, the agony, the pain and the hopelessness sticking to the bed, the operating table, the walls. He breathed it in like a poison that weighed down on his body, made him feel lethargic. Only cruel, sick people could bare to stay in a place like this for a long time. Whoever this lab belonged to, he obviously revelled in the agony he had caused, seeing it as an achievement more than an unspeakable crime.
Steve shut his eyes as tightly as he could, forcing away his tears, his thoughts. He was here on a job, he was here to make sure that Bucky would never have to come back to this again.
Anger welled up in Steve like adrenaline, coursing through his veins, giving his tired body new strength. The anger was accompanied by a sense of being absolutely at a loss as to how people could become this twisted. He knew he had to stop whoever this lab belonged to. Someone like this, someone so fundamentally deranged, had to be stopped. He tore his eyes away from the operating table, away from the shower and the bed on which Bucky had undoubtedly lain countless times, looking over at the many set of drawers instead. They lined the entire wall to the left of the door. He didn't quite want to know about the horrific things that could be found in those files. He had to look through them though. He had to find the ones on Bucky and the Winter Soldier. There was a desk to the right of the drawers, opposite to the door. Steve saw a few drawers underneath the desk as well, wondering if they could hold anything valuable also. He ran his right hand along the smooth edge of the shield, contemplating for a moment before coming to the conclusion to look through the larger drawers first. In the back of his mind, he was wondering how Dum Dum was doing. He couldn't hear any of the gunshots anymore; the metal door was probably a lot thicker than Steve had initially thought.
He came to a stop in front of the drawer closest to the desk and farthest away from the door. Hesitantly, he pulled the shield off of his arm, putting it down on top of the drawer face-up. The drawer squeaked a little when he opened it and he caught himself looking around one last time. He felt like he was being watched but he chose to blame that feeling on paranoia. Hundreds of case files were sorted alphabetically, neatly labelled in cursive handwriting. Each file had a different topic or name on it and as his fingers danced across the top of the files, flipping the tags, he couldn't help but wonder who the people behind the names were. Apparently Hydra had been attempting to create the Winter Soldier since the second World War. Steve didn't even want to begin to imagine how many people had died in the process before they found Bucky. The blood in his veins felt like it dropped in temperature when his eyes found the tag with the name Barnes written on it. He held his breath for a moment, his trembling fingers closing around the edge of the file. He was just about to pull out the file when a cold, round object was pushed against the back of his head. His body went still and numb, his heart jumped in his chest and his eyes widened in shock.
No…
"You know. It's rude to look through someone else's things." The voice carried a heavy accent, unmistakably German. Steve clenched his jaw, swallowing his panic before it could a grip on him. "Close the drawer."
"Got something in here you don't want someone to see?" Steve asked the man quietly, scowling when he heard the man snicker.
"You have a gun pointing at your head. Do you really think you are in any position to spite me?" The man was asked, pushing the barrel against Steve's head a little harder as a reminder. Steve took a deep breath, letting it out through pursed lips. His hands moved slowly, releasing the file with Bucky's name on it and closing the drawer.
"Before you try anything brave, I hope you are aware of the fact that I am going to shoot you if you try anything." Steve's mouth opened but he closed it again, biting down on his bottom lip to stop himself from saying anything that could get him shot. Instead, he lifted his arms slowly in surrender, relaxing a little when the pressure of the barrel against his head lessened slightly. "Turn around." The man instructed Steve and he did as he was told, turning around slowly to face the man, until his back was pressed against the drawer he had been searching through. The man he found standing in front of him was ugly and short with glasses. His head was strangely shaped and looked too large for his small body. He was wearing black pants with a white lab coat pulled up to his elbows. While Steve had been turning around, the man had taken a few steps back, smart enough to stay out of Steve's reach. Steve was acutely aware of his shield that was now lying directly behind him. He clenched his jaw.
Where had the man come from? His eyes darted around the lab, looking at every bit of space, every corner, ever table, until his eyes came to rest on the cupboard to the right of the desk. It was too small for a normal man but this tiny scientist could probably fit into that small wooden cupboard if he tried hard enough. He must have heard Steve coming and must have hidden there. Steve wanted to kick himself. It was the oldest bloody trick in the book! How could he have forgotten to check the cupboard? Maybe because only a child could have fit into that cupboard? Because he'd rather miss a child being there than finding it and having to put it out of commission? Was that it? Or had he been too distracted by the fact that this had been Bucky's hell for almost five years? Steve had to put that question on hold when the man spoke up in his annoying voice.
"Now." The man pursed his ugly, purple lips, "What are you doing in my lab?"
"Well take a wild guess. What did it look like I was doing?" Steve retorted unthinkingly and the man smirked at him, seemingly amused by Steve's audacious behaviour.
"If we don't find our Asset again, I am quite certain that you would make a fine specimen. I'll be sure to recommend you for the Winter Soldier Project." The man smiled sadistically, "It would help if you gave me a name. That way we don't have to kill your loved ones to find you."
"Fuck you." Steve snapped, itching to close the distance between him and the man, itching to make him stop talking.
"What a pity." The man sighed, "It would have made things a lot easier if you had cooperated. This way I'm going to have to kill you. You see, I can't let you go back to your friends at Shield and tell them all about what you've seen here." The man paused, arching an eyebrow, "You do work for Shield, don't you?"
"Who's asking?" Steve asked him shortly, wishing he could punch the smug look right off of the man's face.
"Well, seeing as I am about to kill you anyway, I might as well introduce myself. It is only fair to tell you the name of the man that is about to kill you."
"Don't talk to me about fair." Steve growled, getting little to no reaction out of the scientist who continued to smirk.
"My name is Doctor Armin Zola."
Steve's blood went cold in his veins and his eyes widened involuntarily.
"The first thing I remember is waking up in a surgery room surrounded by men wearing lab coats. One of them, I think his name was Zola, he told me something… I don't remember what though. Something about the procedure having started already."
"I see you must have heard of me already?" Zola seemed pleased. Of course Steve had heard of him before. This was the man who… he was the one who… Bucky…
Tears of fury stung at Steve's eyes and he began shaking with rage, wishing he could move, wishing he could kill this man so that he would never get his filthy hands on another human being again especially not Bucky Barnes!
"I'm going to stop you." Steve's voice shook, coming out even deeper than it usually was. Zola tilted his head to the side curiously, arching his eyebrow spitefully. "And why is that?"
"You hurt him." Steve growled, "You hurt Bucky and I swear to God I'm going to make you regret that!"
"Ah." Zola's eyes lit up with realization, "Are you Steve by any chance?" Zola's smile twisted into a sadistic grin when Steve's eyes widened even more and his mouth fell open. Steve's throat was bone dry now, his heart hammering in his chest, his lungs trembling with every breath.
"How do you know my name?" Steve asked him hoarsely, feeling like someone had wrapped their hand around his throat.
"Even during his last wipe before the mission during which we lost him, he still screamed your name." Zola started cruelly, a dark look clouding his features, when he saw pain flash across Steve's face, "It was like all he could think about was you. At first his screams sounded like protests. The way he screamed your name was like he was trying to tell us that he still knew you, still remembered."
"Stop." Steve growled through gritted teeth, balling his hands into angry fists.
"But then we'd put his brain back in the blender and simply wipe him again and again until it changed. Then he screamed your name like a plea, like an echo. It was how we knew he was losing himself. It was quite fascinating actually- regardless of how many times we wiped him and regardless of how many people he assassinated, he still remembered your name. We even tried to make him kill people in the most gruesome ways imaginable to kill off that part of him. He did everything we told him to, right up to the tiniest little detail of each assassination. Still… he kept screaming your name or whispering it during operations. I suppose telling him you were dead might have done the trick. Or we could have found you and ordered him to kill you." Steve's face contorted and he bowed his head, gritting his teeth together so hard that it hurt."He would have done it, you know?" Zola sang, "He would have killed you."
"No." Steve shook his head fervently, "Bucky wouldn't have killed me. He'd never do that."
"Would Bucky strangle a mother?! Would Bucky hurt and kill children?" Zola was grinning again, maniacally, his head tilting back in amusement when he saw how nauseous Steve felt. Steve's legs were shaking and his knees were moments away from giving out. He locked his knees, tilting off to one side to lock his hip also. He refused to kneel in front of this man. He was going to stay standing even if it killed him to do, even if Zola shot him in the bloody legs! "He did all of it! We told him to and he did it without hesitation! He didn't even flinch!"
Bile rose up in Steve's throat and he swallowed it again, concentrating on the way his stomach acid burnt his throat. He wasn't allowed to show this man how much this was affecting him. Zola was probably hoping that this would ruin Steve's image of Bucky, convince him that Bucky was the monster that Zola tried to turn him into. It wasn't working though. Not with Steve. He knew who Bucky was and nothing on this Earth could change that. Even now, even after Bucky had been hurt so badly, Steve still knew him. All Zola's words did, was make Steve angrier and angrier and more determined to finish his mission.
"You don't know him." Steve decided, shaking off his mortification as best as he could and stood up straighter again, looking Zola in the eye, smirking lightly just to be spiteful.
"Oh! And you do? After the last four years? You still think you know him?!" Zola retorted, annoyed that his psychological torture wasn't having the desired effect.
"You didn't manage to erase him, you know." Steve said, "He was still in there the entire time."
"If he hadn't escaped, the Sergeant would have eventually dwindled away. The Soldier would have taken over! The Winter Soldier Project was a full success with Sergeant Barnes."
"Then where is your precious Asset now?" Steve spat back, "Why isn't he here to protect you? Why didn't he come running back first chance he got? Isn't that what you conditioned him to do?!" Zola gritted his teeth, taking a step towards Steve, shaking his gun a little as a reminder to Steve that he was still being held at gunpoint. "You see that's why I say that you don't know him." Steve pressed on, smothering his fear almost desperately, "Because no matter what you do, no matter how many times you wipe him; no matter how much pain you inflict on him- you're never going to break him. Bucky is far too strong for that! You don't know Bucky. I know that because you underestimated him."Zola shrunk back a little, his eyes widening and his mouth falling open helplessly, "Your Soldier?" Steve paused, "He's gone! He's never going to receive another order from you or any of your Hydra buddies again! Do you know why? Because your experiment failed and because I'm going to destroy this entire lab if I have to in order to stop you!" Zola's face contorted into a scowl now and he took another step closer to Steve angrily.
"Who do you think you are?!" Zola screamed at him.
"No-one." Steve smirked, "Just a kid from Brooklyn."
As soon as Steve had said those words, a frustrated, strangled scream broke out of Armin Zola and he lifted the gun a little to point it directly at Steve's head again. Steve ducked down, forcing Zola to re-aim, giving Steve a moment to reach behind him. He had to get his shield. He had to protect himself. He had to get back to Bucky.
He promised. He promised. He promised!
His hand was on his shield. He pulled it towards him.
"Sergeant Barnes will vanish once I show him your corpse!"
He pulled the trigger…
The silver shield fell, the vibranium whistling eerily as it collided with the floor.
There you go! I hope you liked it! Not a lot of talking happening in this chapter in between so I hope the layout was okay.
Let me know what you guys think!
