A/N: It's finally back! I'm really sorry for the late update. I just got a job, so with that on top of school I've barely had any time to do this. But I will try to be more frequent with posts from now on! Code word: try

Monika stands in front of me. Why is her skirt always blowing up? There's no draft in this room. And why is her hair always blowing up? And it's like she hasn't 3D printed the rest of her arms yet. I hear scanning noises as her arm grows. There are a lot of questions I have about this girl.

"Don't worry," I say to her, "This might be a little strange for me, but I at least keep my word." Well, I'm back at the Literature Club. I was the last to come in, so everyone else is already hanging out.

"Thanks for keeping your promise, FriendArin," Yuri says. "I hope this isn't too overwhelming of a commitment for you. Making you dive headfirst into literature when you're not accustomed to it… Geez, what were we thinking? Why didn't we just push you off a cliff? We really forced you into this situation, huh?" Yuri seems genuinely distressed.

Natsuki rolls her eyes. "Oh, come on! Like he deserves any slack. Sayori told me you didn't even want to join any clubs this year. And last year too. You're such a clubless bitch! I don't know if you plan to just come here and hang out, or what… But if you don't take us seriously, then you won't see the end of it." What does that mean?

"Natsuki, you certainly have a big mouth for someone who keeps her manga collection in the clubroom," Monika says.

"M-M-M…!" Natsuki finds herself stuck between saying "Monika" and "Manga." "And those are mangoes."

"Processing… Indeed, I have made an error. Ironic, that I make an error in the Literature Club about a word."

"Manga is literature!" Natsuki defends her literary tastes. Swiftly defeated, Natsuki plops back into her seat. I think she popped.

"Don't worry guys," Sayori reassures, "FriendArin always gives it his best as long as he's having fun."

"I'm not having fun," I tell her. She ignores me.

"He helps me with busywork without me even asking."

"So you'll leave faster."

"Let's help reinflate Natsuki." Sayori works on blowing Natsuki back up while continuing her train of thought, "Like cooking, cleaning my room…"

"How dependable," Yuri says.

"Sayori, that's because your room is so messy it's distracting, you stupid, fucking idiot. I can't jerk off with all that mess. And you almost set your house on fire once."

"Is that so… Ehehe…" Sayori giggles sheepishly. "I'm a pyromaniac."

Yuri says, "You two are really good friends, aren't you?"

"What gave you that idea?" I ask, confused.

Yuri continues, "I might be a little jealous… I want to set my house on fire."

Sayori says, "How come? You and FriendArin can become good friends too!"

"Y-Yeah! We can become good friends!" I respond, maybe a little too enthusiastically. "S-Sayori-"

"Hmm?"

"Dot dot dot!" I tell her in our secret code language. But she's forgotten it. As usual, Sayori seems oblivious to the weird situation she just put me into.

"We can share a cock! What?" Although I'm not opposed to the idea, Sayori doesn't seem to understand that not everyone thinks about sex in the same way she does. "Oh, oh! Yuri even brought you something today, you know~"'

"W-Wait! Sayori…" Yuri's face starts to sweat.

"Eh? Me?" I ask.

"Um… Not really…"

"Don't be shy~" Sayori urges.

"It's really nothing…"

"What is it?"

This goes on for some time.

"N-Never mind!"

"What is it?"

"Show him!"

"I don't wanna show you…"

"What'd you get me?"

"Why don't you show him?"

"I don't wanna… Sayori made it sound like it's a big deal when it's really not," Yuri fidgets, "Uuuuh, what do I do…"

Sayori finally realizes what she's done. "Eh? I'm sorry Yuri, I wasn't thinking…"

"No you weren't! Get out of here! This isn't the first time you've done this!" Sayori dejectedly slinks away.

I guess that means it's up to me to rescue this situation…

"Hey don't worry about it! I'm sure people get crappy gifts all the time!" That didn't seem to work, so I try something new. "First of all, I wasn't expecting anything in the first place. So any nice gesture from you is a pleasant surprise."

Yuri keeps looking down. "I'm so embarrassed my red embarrassed lines are going over my bangs. My eyes have completely vanished… I can't see I'm so embarrassed."

"It'll make me happy no matter what," I finish.

"Is that so…?"

"Yeah. I won't make it a big deal if you don't want it to be. Unless it's gonorrhea…"

"Maybe I'll stick my boobs out and my butt out." I don't oppose that. "Well here." Yuri reaches into her bag and pulls out a book. "I didn't want you to feel left out. So I picked out a book that I thought you might enjoy. It's Clifford the Big Red Dog Episode 4: Clifford in Space also known as Clifford X. It's a short read, so it should keep your attention because you're stupid, even if you don't usually read, you're stupid. And we could you know… discuss it… if you wanted… We could tear out the pages and spread it on your bed and fuck on it. Uh, gah, I'm going to call you Clifford. Is that cool? Do you like Huey Lewis and the News?"

How is this girl accidentally being so cute? She even picked out a book she thinks I'll like, despite me not reading much.

"Huey Lewis had a lot of really good albums. I prefer Sports. I think that's his best. His most accomplished album."

Yuri's gone on a tangent, so I bring her back. "Yuri, thank you! I'll definitely read this!" I enthusiastically take the book. "Give me the book!" I yank it out of her hand.

"Whew, that was close… For a minute there, I thought you were going to leave. And you're my Huey. Without you, I'd just be… the News. You can read it whenever. I look forward to hearing what you think."

Now that everyone's settled in, I expected Monika to kick off some scheduled activities for the club, but instead, she's malfunctioning in the corner. Her head's spinning all fast, lasers shooting out of every tip of her fingers.

Having stopped malfunctioning, Monika is now having a cheery conversation with Sayori in the corner. Yuri's face is already buried in a book. I can't help but notice her intense expression, like she was waiting for this chance. Meanwhile, Natsuki's rummaging around in the closet.

"Rummage, rummage, rummage," she mutters out loud while making small monster noises. I hear her mutter an exasperated sigh from within the closet. She seems to be annoyed by something. I approach her, in case she needs a hand. "I lost my hand!" she exclaims.

"You looking for something in there?" I ask.

"Freaking Monika… She never puts my stuff back in the right spot! What's the point of keeping your collection organized if someone else is just going to mess it up?" Natsuki slides a bunch of stacked books and boxes across the shelf.

"Manga…" I don't know why I just said "manga."

"You read manga right?"

"Ah-sometimes…" Manga is one of those things you can't admit you're really into until you figure out where the other person stands. "How did you know, anyway?"

"Because you fucking said it the other day like a bunch of times. Besides, it's kind of written on your face."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It says Inuyashiki on your forehead. Go look in the mirror, idiot."

"I see…" There's a lone volume of manga… mangoes… amidst a stack of various books on the side of one of the shelves. They look juicy and delicious. Curious, I pull it out of the stack.

"There it is!" Natsuki snatches it out of my hand. "Don't touch my shit!" she tells me. She then turns into a box of manga. "Help! AHHHHH! I'm reducing!" Oh so that's where she goes every time she sinks. Another part of her has become a manga. Slowly, she turns back into a human. It must be hard for her to fight this phenomenon. She turns to a box of manga and slips the volume right into the middle of the rest. "Ah, much better! Seeing a box set with one box missing is probably the most irritating sight in the world! Damn this green snaggletooth!"

"I know that feel…" I say, "I watched my grandmother die in front of me."

"Hahahaha wait what? I guess that would be worse than seeing a manga out of place…"

I get a closer look at the box set she's admiring. "Parfait Girls?" It's a series I've never heard of in my life. That probably means it's way out of my demographic or it's simply terrible.

"If you're gonna judge, you can go do it through the glass on that door." She points to the classroom door. It's not made of glass.

"Do you want to do it?" I ask. "On the glass on the door? P-Put 'em on the glass?" She doesn't respond, so I move on. "H-Hey, I wasn't judging or anything…! I didn't even say anything."

"It was the tone of your voice."

"I didn't say anything…" I repeat.

"It was the tone of your silence. But I'll tell you one thing, FriendArin. Consider this a lesson straight from the Literature Club: Don't judge a book by its cover! Like, at first I thought you were an asshole, but now I just think you're an idiot! Which informs your assholeness. In fact," Natsuki pulls the first volume of Parfait Girls from the box. "I'm going to show you exactly why!" She shoves the book right into my hands.

"Ah… What the fuck is this thing?" I stare at the cover. It says Parfait Girls. "This computer's broken. Why aren't the words changing? It's made of paper! I can't scroll!" It features four girls in colorful attire striking animated feminine poses. It's… exceedingly "moe".

"Don't just stand there."

"Uwa-" Natsuki grabs my arm and pulls me out of the closet. I didn't even realize we were in there. She then takes a seat against the wall, beneath the windowsills. She pats on the ground next to her, signaling me to sit there.

"Wouldn't chairs be more comfortable…? I mean, there's tons of empty ones." I take my seat.

"Chairs wouldn't work."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"We can't read at the same time like that."

"Yes we can! Pull the chairs together!"

Natsuki only gazes up at me expectantly, so I concede. "I guess it's easier to be close together like this…"

An intense blush suddenly reddens Natsuki's cheeks. "Line!" she yells, "D-Don't just say that! You'll make me feel weird about it!" Natsuki crosses her arms and scooches an inch away from me.

"Sorry…" I didn't exactly expect to be sitting this close to her, either… Not that I can say it's a particularly bad thing. Across the room, Sayori lets out a burp and excuses herself. I open the book. It's only a few seconds before Natsuki once again inches closer, reclaiming the additional space while she hopes I won't notice. I can feel her peering over my shoulder, much more eager to begin reading than I am. She takes a bite of my neck. I bleed profusely. But only from the one spot where her green tooth enters my jugular. It turns out her mouth is like a komodo dragon, filled with harmful bacteria. That's why the tooth is green and there's only one.

"Wow, how long has it been since I read the beginning?" Natsuki wonders after retracting her fang from my neck. Everything's blurry. Here I am at the hospital. Just imagine!

Fully recovered, I return to the classroom, where Natsuki still sits under the windowsill, my blood drying on her chin.

"Hm? You don't go back and flip through the older volumes every now and then?" I decide to put her assault behind me. I can't help it if she's just hungry.

"Not really. Maybe sometimes after I've already finished the series I guess. Hey, are you paying attention?"

"Uh… I am, but nothing's really happened yet, so I can talk at the same time. It looks like it's about a bunch of friends in high school. Typical slice-of-life affair. Guy joins a Literature Club… Meets four girls… I kind of grew out of these, since it's rare for the writing to be entertaining enough to make up for the lack of plot. So, I hate your book." Although something about what I described seems vaguely familiar. "So… what should I expect from this? Is there going to be plot?"

"Well, obviously!" Natsuki defends. "You think I would enjoy something that didn't have a plot? I mean… Well, I guess I know what you're saying… A lot of the beginning is about simple things… And the book doesn't really have a plot or anything… Like there's a really funny chapter where they're obsessed with a guy at the ice cream shop… But that just helps you get to know the characters! And besides, it's still entertaining. But later on, there's all kinds of drama… Like when they get into all their backstories, and when some of the romance starts to happen… That's really what makes it so good. There are so many touching parts." That piques my interest.

"Uh, please show me those?"

"Like here, there's a touch here, and a touch there…"

"Ah, is that so?"