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Chapter 6

Arizona POV

I am so happy to be off that flight. The turbulence was the absolute worse. I am happy to be back home but sad to leave my parents. I know it's time we all try to get back to our lives. The time with them once everyone cleared out was bittersweet. I got to spend the last two weeks with them just giving us a chance to reconnect. Things are still hard for my mom, but I know that she is gonna be ok. She has my dad and he's been great. I spot Sara waving me over.

"hey baby"

"Hey, how was your flight?" Sara asks.

"a little rocky but I am so happy to be home. I missed you" I kiss her lightly

"I missed you too, so what do you want to do tonight? I'm thinking we go out to a nice restaurant and maybe do a little dancing" Sara says as we make our way through the airport.

"I don't know Sara, I kinda wanted us to have a nice night to ourselves. Besides I should stop pass the hospital and make sure my department is still there." We make our way to the car.

"please… you know I am only here two more days before I have to fly out to Miami," she says whining.

"you never told me why you were going to Miami, you just said it's for work" I eyed her skeptically. I know there is a piece of the story I'm missing.

"I told ya, babe, it's this story for work. I must go and meet a source make sure that they are credible. Don't worry I will be gone two days tops at the most it shouldn't take too long." She smiles at me sweetly.

"yea ok, but you better not be getting into any trouble" she gives me an innocent look "I mean it, Sara"

"sure, thing babe, come on I'm starving."

As she drives I start checking all my text and emails. I haven't been in contact with the hospital and I have barely responded to people who weren't family. There are only so many times you can hear people say they are sorry and if they can do anything. I see that the hospital has been busy if these number of emails say anything. I hated to leave the guys shorthanded but what could I do. I scroll through my text and I frown a little seeing that Callie never responded to my text.

I wouldn't normally be worried about her not responding, I would just chalk it up to her being busy, but I can't help but feel she's been a little distant the past couple of weeks. At first, she said it was because she wanted me to have time with my family and I get that I do, but she's been a little weird since that morning we woke up together. If I'm being honest it was kinda weird for me to wake up with her as well.

FLASHBACK

I can feel something pulling me out of my subconscious, I'm so comfy and don't want to get up right now. I snuggle more closely and breathe in. My eyes pop open as I take in the scent of my best friend. I can feel my heart start to race. I close my eyes quickly and my brain is starting to catch up with me. I was holding her, she was crying, and I guess we just got too comfortable. I can't believe we fell asleep. I can't believe I stayed asleep.

I start to calm myself down. I don't know how we got so cuddled up, it must have happened while we were sleeping. I can't help but notice how we just fit together. She moves slightly and pulls me in closer to her, her hand grazes my spine and I suddenly can't catch my breath. I know that this is so wrong, that I have a girlfriend, but I can't help but enjoy this moment. It feels like my body is on fire right now. I'm brought out of my thoughts as I hear my mom knock on the door and enter. I don't even want to deal with her right now, so I just pretend to be asleep. I feel Callie stir and she must be looking at my mom. I agree with my mother's assessment that Sara is gonna flip a shit if she knows I spent the night with Calliope. It's only a few seconds later that I hear my mom exit.

I don't know why I'm still pretending to be asleep, but then I feel it. Callie is slowly brushing hair out of my face. I must be bright red right now. It is the slightest touch, but it is setting my whole face on fire. I can tell that she is staring at me. I wonder what she's thinking.

"I can feel you staring at me," I say as I open one eye and then another, and wow I must say that early morning Calliope might be my favorite.

"sorry," she says, I can see her start to blush. I think she is a little embarrassed, but she doesn't need to be. She gets up out of the bed. She is so beautiful. I just can't help but get lost in her eyes. I think she's talking to me.

"so, your mom just came in and she's right you need to get out of here before Sara comes in and freaks out" Yes Sara, my girlfriend Sara. Who I love. I keep staring at my best friend. Over the past few months, we've become very close. There's always been this thing in the back of my mind that maybe I've been trying to ignore, but it might be getting harder to do that. I remember that she's waiting for a reply. All I can do is nod my head afraid of what I might say. I go to walk out of the room and turn back to give her a smile. As soon as I close the door, I am greeted by my mother.

"Zona," she says giving me the look, the look she always gives when she wants an explanation. "what was that, if Sara would have found you how would you have explained that to her?"

"I think…" focusing on my words, "I think I have to break up with Sara"

END FLASHBACK

Since then we have had one phone conversation and the rest have been text messages. I've been trying to figure out how it's going with the security detail. I know that they had to be pissed at the stunt she pulled. I hope I didn't freak her out or anything. I just miss her, and the hospital. I can't wait until my first surgery.

"Are you even listening to what I'm saying Arizona?"

"I'm sorry what did you say?"

"You have been distracted since you got in the car, what's on your mind?

"I'm sorry, I just really can't wait to go back to work. I need to cut someone" we both laugh a little. She has seen me before when I have had to take time off from my surgical rotation.

"Yea, I was wondering when you would start to go all crazy with no surgeries."

"I just love what I do."

"Yes, I know Dr. Robbins. It is why you are the best at what you do" she gives me a little smile.

"So, let me stop pas the hospital and then I promise we can do whatever you want tonight. O.K.?" I smile and pop my dimples I know she won't say no.

"fine but you better be quick Arizona, I mean it. I haven't seen you in weeks and I'm leaving soon"

"I will be home before you know it, so don't worry" I kiss her on the cheek

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I slowly make my way into the hospital via the back entrance. I really don't want anyone seeing me until I am ready and back to work tomorrow. As I get closer I see one of my favorite nurses and I put a finger to my lips and shake my head no and she doesn't bother me. It is a miracle that I actually make it to my office without anyone else spotting me.

looking over at my desk and the massive stacks of paperwork on it. "great for everyone to pick up my patients. It sucks that no one picked up on my paperwork" I say to myself. The pile is massive. I will be in my office for three straight days trying to get it done. I look through the papers until I find the phone that is hidden somewhere on my once neatly looking desk. I pick up the phone and wait for my friend to come in. It can be awhile, I'm not sure if she is in surgery or not.

Sitting at my desk I start to put things into different piles based on urgency. I have a few cases that I can't wait to check on tomorrow. "knock…knock" I look up and see Teddy walking through the door.

"when I got paged here, I completely thought someone was trying to prank me" coming over to give me a hug "how have you been.? We all have missed you here."

"good, I'm ok Teddy. I promise. I mean it was is still hard, but I know I'm going to be ok" we both take a seat "so fill me in on what I've missed"

"like you don't know. I just assumed that Callie was keeping you updated on Everything"

"we haven't spoken that much actually since she left my parents. I think she's avoiding me"

"Are you making things up again? Why would she be avoiding you, you guys are almost as close as we are,"

"I don't know Teddy, ever since that morning and we got out of bed it's" Teddy's eyes get big and she cuts me off.

"what do you mean you got out of bed…like the same bed together?"

"yea when we woke up"

"OMG did you sleep with Callie at your parent's house? Arizona, I can't believe you, where was Sara" I go to speak but she just keeps going "I mean yea Arizona I would avoid you too, with your track record and seriously Arizona. Why would you do that"

I just watch her as she is up hands on her hips waiting for an answer. I stand up and grab her by the shoulders. "we did not have sex, we literally fell asleep." She sakes her head and sits back down "I was a mess it was the night before the funeral, and she became emotional and after all the tears we just fell asleep"

"ok I get that, how did Sara take you sleeping with Callie, you know she hates her right?"

"hate is such a strong word, but yes I know that she is not a fan of Callie, and that's why she doesn't know. Nothing happened, and I didn't have time for her craziness"

"if nothing happened ZO, why do you think Callie is avoiding you?"

"It's just different. Do you think…do you think I have feelings for Callie?"

"As your best friend, I sure hope that you don't. Come on Zo, you have just been through this really rough time. Your emotions are all over the place and you had an emotional moment with a friend. So, what I don't think you should really put that much thought into it."

Shaking my head, some of the stuff she is saying is right. I have been on an emotional roller coaster. I look up at her "if I'm honest Teddy, it is something that might have been nagging at me. When she touched me while we were in bed my body was on fire"

"Zo, you love sex and you were in bed with a hot woman, of course, you would feel like that. I can't believe we are really even having this conversation. What if you did have feelings for her, are you willing to just let go of Sara? I know things haven't been perfect for you guys, but you have been with her longer than anyone Arizona. You owe it to both you and her to not just throw that away from what is possibly a fleeting feeling for your friend."

"yea…thanks Teddy, your probably right it will pass once I am back to my old self." I give her a tight smile.

"Arizona relax, it's not uncommon for women to get crushes on their friends. It happens sometimes, and it means nothing. Your putting way more into this than what it is. Just go home and focus on your girlfriend"

Standing up and approaching the other woman. "your right Teds, so I'm gonna sneak back out of the place the same way I snuck in. Are you working tomorrow? I ask as I look to make sure I've got everything.

"Yup, get out of here and I will see you tomorrow"

Callie's POV

"Charge to 300" I look over at Karev who is assisting me on this case.

Charging, "CLEAR" looking up at the monitor "dammit he's still in V-fib"

"Give me that shot of Eppi" My O.R is like a madhouse at the moment. I have been trying everything I can to save this kids life.

"still flatline. He's been down for over 20 minutes Torres. I'm not sure that there is anything else we can do for him"

Sighing in frustration I know that he's right "Time of death 1:52" I pull off my bloody scrubs and exit the room. "Jacobs can you just give me some breathing space?" I look at the older guy and he gives me an annoyed look and shakes his head no. Ever since I lost him and the rest of his friends he has been a real pain. I can barely pee by myself. I shake my head and walk a little further down the hall.

I slide down the wall and have a seat on the floor, my head in my hands. It has been a long 48 hours. There was a bad apartment fire, and everyone didn't make it out safely. Several of the floors collapsed. The boy I was just working on, this was his third surgery today and I just knew that he was gonna pull through.

"Hey Cal, what are you doing down there"

"trying to wrap my brain around the last few hours, what are you doing here Sloan"

"here" he hands me a cup of coffee "seeing how I haven't seen you in the past ten hours or so I knew you could use some liquid fuel."

"Thanks, Mark"

"How's your patient" I shake my head no and he can tell by my face that it didn't go well.

"how do we do it, Mark, I love my job don't get me wrong but on days like today. I just don't know how we survive. The life and death of it all, especially when they are kids. No child deserves to go through what I just witnessed."

Sitting down next to me. "this is the worst part of our job kid, and sometimes we just can't separate how we feel and it gets to us. But you can't allow it to hold you down. You must move on to the next patient and the next. will save those you can and the ones you can't you pray for their families.

I know he's right and I've had days like this in the past and I know as a doctor I will do my best to save the next person. Sighing "I really need some sleep, every time I lay down I get paged. It is so crazy in here today"

"yea we all need a little break, it wouldn't be so bad if we weren't short a few hands. Have you heard from Robbins?"

"yea I think she's back tomorrow or it could be today. I'm not even sure what day it is now." My pager goes off "there's my cue" I run off and make my way towards the pit with Jacobs right on my heels.

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I have now been here for 63 hours. I've taken a few cat naps and am thankful for the shower I was able to take this morning. I live for days like these as a surgeon, but it makes me sad for the people that we couldn't save. I look over and see Special Agent Benson eyeing me from his chair. It's his turn to babysit me. I think about the conversation that I had with Chief Clark before I boarded my flight back to Seattle. He really let me have it and I don't blame him, I get it I do, but I'm not the same girl he met years ago. I can hold my own if I must.

I can't help but think about what my parents are up too. I know they would never just let me live out my life especially since they feel that I went against the family. I just wish they make a move already. I know that they will at some point. My parents don't do anything without thinking everything through. Which means I need to stay ahead of them. I know that they will come after me, and when they do I need to be ready. It sucks because I really love my life here. I love being able to be me. Even with my chaperone's no, one is looking at me any differently, well besides some of the nurses. I really hope I don't have to give up everything I'm working so hard on.

When I was in witness protection it was hard. Yes, I was able to do somethings that I truly love like medicine, but I was always so caged in. Never able to get close to anyone. I spent most of my teenage years with a pretend mother and father. We were all in witness protection and just like that one day we were all supposed to just be a family. We barely even talked to each other. Constantly surrounded by undercover officers.

Scared of everyone including your own shadow. When I was younger I always thought that I would get away from my parents fall in love and have a family of my own. I don't know how that's gonna happen. I've never even had a serious boyfriend. How could you form any type of relationship, when all you do is tell lies? I have been out of witness protection for a little under two years now and yea I guess I could date if I wanted too but I just can't trust anyone. I always think that they are somehow working with my father. I wonder if that will change, I wonder if it already has.

I sit up trying to shake myself out of these depressing thoughts. I look over at Benson again. "tell me how you do it? don't you want a normal life at some point?"

"Ms. Torres, my life is normal I have a wife, three kids and I love my family dearly. I put my life on the line for others because everyone deserves to have a chance to have what I have."

"wow, that so was not the answer I was expecting."

Laughing a little "I know you think we are all just adrenaline junkies, but my father was in the service and it was an honor to follow in his footsteps."

"you are a very lucky man Benson," I stand up, putting on lab coat "well I guess I should get back to work" I go to the door and am immediately greeted by a presence. A presence that I have missed over the past couple of weeks.

"Calliope Hi" she smiles at me dimples popping.

"Hey Arizona" I smile right back at her.

Let me know your thoughts. Why do you guys think Sara is going to Miami?