Hey guys!
First of all: Thank you all for your reviews- they absolutely made my day!
In other news: I got accepted at an acting school today so I'm gonna start my three-year training in March! (Sorry I'm so excited I just need to share this with EVERYONE!) I hope you guys have an absolutely amazing day!
Also, I hope you enjoy this chapter and let me know what you what you think!


Chapter 31

Steve's eyes flew open and his initial rush of excitement was immediately replaced by doubt and caution. His mind instantly took him back to the same day a year before. He remembered how the sun had shone much in the same way it was doing now. He remembered the congratulatory messages, the Facebook posts… But what he remembered most, was the painfully blank look on Bucky's face. He remembered spending the entire day dropping subtle hints while waiting, hopefully, for a spark of realization that never came.
Not even in the evening when the fireworks started, did anything seem to click with Bucky. It had been quite the opposite actually- Bucky had panicked, unsure as to what was going on. He had rushed to the windows with wide, almost feral eyes, trying to figure out where the bombs were and how to get away from them. Seconds turned into minutes and Bucky had paced the apartment like a caged animal- restless and equally as dangerous.
It was only once Steve had gently explained to him that the fourth of July was Independence Day, that the fireworks weren't going to hurt him, that Bucky had gradually started to relax and yet, every new explosion had made the former soldier jump. He'd sat in the corner in his bedroom with the curtains drawn whilst rocking back and forth, repeating his army serial number, his name and rank over and over again like a prayer. Steve had almost been able to see the war-heavy memories- nightmares- playing off behind Bucky's glassy eyes that night.

Steve zoned back in when his hand landed on the empty space where Bucky had lain the night before. The grey bedsheet was no-longer warm, leading Steve to assume that Bucky had been awake for a while already. His stomach twisted itself into a merciless knot and he bit his lip, blinking at the sunlight pouring through the bedroom window.

Conflicting emotions warred within him, made him want to bury his head underneath his pillow and let the day pass him by.

He could clearly remember what his birthdays had been like before Bucky had shipped out. He could remember cake at Peggy's and merciless teasing from Bucky. He could remember cheap, self-made presents from his best pal and apple pie from Winifred, Bucky's mother, because she knew that Steve loved her apple pies- they reminded him of the ones his mother, Sarah, used to make when he was younger and so, so frail. He remembered sitting on the roof of Peggy's garden shed with Bucky, watching the fireworks explode into millions of colourful sparks above their head.

He could remember the excitement that had radiated off of Bucky like a contagious disease, his lips mirroring the exhilarated grin on his best friend's face while the sparks from the fireworks reflected in their eyes like fireflies floating above a lake.

Everything was different now.

With a heavy sigh, Steve dragged his large body out of the warm bed. He made his bed half-heartedly, forgetting to smooth out the blanket the way his mother had taught him to.

He pulled over a pair of grey jogging pants and an obscenely tight blue Underarmour shirt that he usually only wore to go jogging. He paused at the door, taking a moment to scrutinize his reflection in the mirror.

He didn't look as tired as he had on his birthday the year before. The dark rings under his eyes were gone and he dare say his eyes seemed to shimmer a little. He ran a hand through his hair to smooth it down, grumbling moodily when it stood back up in a stubborn cow-lick.


A quick trip to the bathroom later, and Steve was standing in the hallway between the bathroom and his bedroom stiffly, breathing in and out slowly to compose himself. If Bucky still didn't remember Steve's birthday, he had to make sure that he played it off convincingly. The last thing Steve wanted was for Bucky to feel guilty- he already had enough guilt to deal with without beating himself up over forgetting his boyfriend's birthday.

Taking one more deep breath, Steve forced a smile onto his face before marching into the living area with as much confidence as he could muster up.

The smell of freshly fried eggs registered immediately, and his stomach announced itself with an obnoxious growl, demanding to be fed. Resting a hand against the flat of his stomach, he passed the couches, where Flake was fast asleep, and walked into the kitchen.

It was a wonderfully familiar sight- Bucky pottering around in the kitchen, preparing breakfast while he hummed a quiet tune to himself. It made Steve's chest swell up and his smile became effortless. He was tempted to stay hidden for a little longer and enjoy the domesticity of it all, but he was afraid that he would give Bucky a fright unwittingly by lurking around soundlessly near the kitchen.

"Morning Buck." Steve took a deep, appreciative breath, "What'cha making?"

"Breakfast." Bucky replied flatly, shooting Steve a sarcastic smirk, "What's it look like, punk?"

"You know what I meant ya big jerk." Steve shot back, cocking an eyebrow at Bucky when the latter chuckled.

"Well, Mr. Rogers, today I have prepared some fried eggs and bacon with some baked beans and sausage for us both." He waved the spatula in the air comically, grinning when Steve started laughing.

"Any special occasion or why are we eating like kings today?" Steve enquired, trying to sound as casual and off-handed as possible despite the way his heart was fluttering in his chest nervously.

"Do I need a special occasion to treat my best man right?" Bucky asked, wide innocent eyes reflecting the genuineness of the question.

"No." Steve replied, feeling a pang of disappointment settle down in the pit of his stomach like a tummy ache. He could feel his facial features derailing and he bowed his head, masking the gesture with a faux yawn. "You're right." He added helplessly, "Thanks Buck. Let's eat!"


"You okay, Stevie?"

Steve was brought back to reality abruptly and he blinked, nodding before even completely registering Bucky's question. A calloused hand was placed over Steve's and the blond looked up from his plate, smiling at a concerned-looking Bucky.

"Are you sure you're okay, pal? You've been really quiet all morning."

"I had a bit of a rough night." Steve lied, damning himself to hell for lying to his best friend and now boyfriend. He just didn't know of any other way to cover up his disappointment. He told himself that he was lying to Bucky to protect him, to make sure that he didn't have yet another thing to feel guilty about.

"Well, we can get an early night tonight!" Bucky offered cheerfully but his smile faltered when Steve huffed a sarcastic laugh, shaking his head, "Or not?"

"It's pretty much impossible to get an early night on the fourth of July, Buck."

The puzzled expression on Bucky's face rammed figurative dagger into Steve's chest. Reminiscent of the way his lungs used to spasm during an asthma attack, Steve's chest tightened uncomfortably, making him squirm. He averted his eyes, pretending to check whether there was still any food left on the table in order to escape Bucky's curious eyes.

"Anything special happening tonight that I don't know about?" Bucky enquired when Steve had failed to answer his unspoken question.

"Fireworks, Buck." Steve replied blankly. He cringed when he saw Bucky stiffen slightly and he sighed, offering Bucky a remorseful smile. "I'm just tired." He explained himself, "Sorry for getting impatient."

"No, it's okay." Bucky waved off Steve's apology, brushing his fingers over the top of Steve's hand to calm him down. He was watching Steve searchingly, his eyes narrowing questioningly. The moments ticked by until Steve had to avert his eyes, the weight of Bucky's gaze becoming too heavy for him to bear.

"So… what are the fireworks about?" Bucky finally asked with a soft voice laced with hesitance.

"The fourth of July is Independence Day. People celebrate it by letting loose a whole bunch of fireworks."

"Nice." Bucky seemed to take Steve's explanation in stride and with that, the topic seemed to have been concluded for the brunet. He got up, stacking plates to take them to the dishwasher while Steve bit his tongue to stop himself from either screaming or pouring his heart out to his best guy.

"So last week I promised Peggy I would help her scatter some fertilizer on her lawn." Bucky spoke as he worked in the kitchen, his back turned on Steve who was still sitting at the table, staring into space, "I was gonna go by there today and do it for her."

"That's real nice of you Buck." Steve tried his best to sound more upbeat than he felt. It seemed to work because Bucky continued throwing the dirty dished into the sink after only a short pause.

"Yeah well, I figured I might as well get it over with and seeing as we ain't doing anything special today, I thought I might as well head over there."

Steve gritted his teeth, focusing on supressing the tears that were stinging in his eyes. He took a deep breath before letting it out soundlessly while his eyes ventured, trying to find something he could use as a distraction, something that could anchor his mind. It was then that he realized that he was letting Bucky clean the dishes after he had spent all morning making breakfast.

"Get out of the kitchen Buck." Steve spoke up with a new-found determination, getting up and stepping around the table to stand behind Bucky at the sink.

Bucky simply chuckled dismissingly, submerging his metal hand while he fished for something to clean in the milky water.

"I'm being serious Buck!" Steve exclaimed, shoving at Bucky's shoulder gently to get his attention, "You made breakfast so the least I can do is clean the dishes. Besides, I know how much you hate getting food rests stuck in your metal arm."

"It does suck to get them back out of the plates…" Bucky pondered quietly, "Surprised you remember me mentioning that once." He abandoned the dishes to turn around, leaning his lower back against the edge of the countertop, giving Steve a lazy smile.
Steve felt his lips mirror the smile Bucky was wearing. He moved his hands until they were straddling Bucky's waist gently. He quite liked how that felt- he could feel Bucky's tight abdominal muscles despite the shirt.

"O'course I remembered, Buck."

Bucky leant forward to give Steve a kiss, humming against Steve's lips appreciatively. He enjoyed the way Steve tasted of the hot chocolate he had had for breakfast.

"Well, if my sap of a boyfriend insists on doing the dishes, then I guess I'd better let 'em." Bucky muttered.

"Well yeah." Steve smirked, "I mean, otherwise I'd have to wrestle you for it and I'd hate to have you lose."

"God, you cocky little punk." Bucky shook his head incredulously, giving Steve another endeared kiss.

"I've always been this way." Steve pointed out, snaking his way around Bucky until he was standing between Bucky and the sink. With a triumphant smile, Steve turned his back on Bucky to get to work, submerging both of his big hands in the dishwater.

Bucky let out a resigned sigh, leaning his chin on Steve's shoulder, watching Steve's deft fingers wash the dishes in practiced movements.

"I'm gonna call Sam." Bucky mumbled distractedly, nuzzling into the crook of Steve's neck, enjoying the way Steve smelt of aftershave.

"What for?"

"Well I gotta get to Peggy somehow, right? Don't think m'ready to take the subway by myself yet."

"I'll take you." Steve offered willingly, stopping his dish-washing to look at Bucky over his shoulder, "I texted Sam about whether he wanted to come over tonight, but he said he had work so I assume he'll be busy all day today."

"What'd you invite him over for?" Bucky asked curiously, leaning his entire upper body against Steve's back, smiling when he noticed how Steve wanted to give out under the weight.

"Uh… we always watch the fireworks together… it's a… fourth of July thing…"

"Oh okay." Bucky took his chin off of Steve's shoulder, "Thanks for taking me then Stevie, that's real swell of you."

"Anytime Buck."


The train ride to Peggy's house was quiet.

Normally, Bucky and Steve would talk the entire way, but Steve couldn't quite get himself to talk. Bucky stopped questioning it after checking with Steve on three different occasions whether he was fine. It almost disappointed Steve that Bucky stopped asking and yet, it made him feel relieved, knowing that the chances of slipping up were greatly reduced without Bucky's incessant questions.

To avoid feeling awkward, Bucky busied himself with Flake for most of the ride, fussing over her Service Dog vest until it sat just right. Steve watched him, allowing his mind to wander while he studied Bucky's face and the way his lips pursed in frustration when the vest didn't bend to his will straight away.

Steve noticed that the worry lines on Bucky's face had lessened and that the shorter hair made him look a lot younger than he had looked with long hair. Despite the slight differences, he looked almost exactly like he had the day before he shipped out. It made Steve feel reminiscent, the slight sparkle in Bucky's eyes keeping Steve's melancholy at bay.

"Hey Buck?"

Bucky looked up, startled by Steve's deep voice. His eyebrows travelled towards his hairline in a question, his mouth falling open.

"I love you." Steve muttered, reaching out his hand to take Bucky's.

"I love you too Stevie." Bucky replied immediately. The megawatt grin that followed Bucky's words made Steve feel even more guilty for keeping his birthday a secret from Bucky.

Steve averted his eyes.

The walk from the train station was pleasant and familiar and was made even more enjoyable by the warm sunlight streaming down on them. Bucky and Steve quickly fell into a rhythm and Flake matched their pace obediently, her head tilting to the side every now and then to check up on her owner. With fingers entwined and hands swaying back and forth, the two arrived at Peggy's house shortly after two o'clock in the afternoon, accompanied by a gentle breeze that whipped around them, roughing up their hair.


Steve frowned, pulling Bucky to a stop on the sidewalk in front of the house.

Peggy's front lawn was occupied by four cars that he was completely unfamiliar with. He knew the makes- Mercedes, Ford and Toyota- but he couldn't remember having seen any of them at Peggy's house before. All the number plates were from New York, but he still didn't recognize any of them.

"Was today not a good day?" Bucky asked unsurely, edging further away from the house, "Maybe I should have called first?"

"She doesn't usually have this many visitors." Steve frowned confusedly, "Maybe we should just pop in to see whether she needs any help around the house with so many guests."

"Good idea!" Bucky agreed wholeheartedly, taking the lead and dragging his boyfriend and his dog up to the porch and pushing down on the doorbell without a moment's hesitation.

"I'm on my way, just give me a short moment, please."

Steve and Bucky smiled at each other fondly, relishing the sound of Peggy's grandmotherly voice and her strong British accent. Despite the many years she had spent in America, her accent had never softened, becoming something that reminded Bucky and Steve of the feeling of home, happiness and well-spent summers.

Steve straightened when the door opened, and he gave Bucky's hand a quick squeeze- a silent promise not to let go.

Peggy's hair was done up in intricate braids, pinned into place by red flower pins that glistened in the light. Her matching red dress was probably tighter than most women her age preferred and yet it suited Peggy as it would have were she twenty years younger. Her lips, as always, were red, bringing out the dazzling white of her teeth.

"Wow." Steve gestured to Peggy with a hand, "You look absolutely amazing Peggy!"

"Oh stop it." She waved a hand at him playfully, giggling like a young girl when both Bucky and Steve shook their heads vehemently.

"Steve's right there, Pegs- I'd take you out to dance if I wasn't already taken." Bucky smirked charmingly earning a playful finger-waggle from Peggy.

"There he is- James Barnes as we know and love him." Peggy grinned, pulling the boys into her arms so that she could pepper their faces with kisses after which both men had to wipe lipstick off their cheeks and foreheads.

"So… what's the occasion?" Steve asked weakly, feeling suddenly fragile and as though everyone had better things to do on his birthday than celebrate with him.

"Oh!" Peggy lit up, her chocolate eyes shining like the fireworks would in a couple of hours, "I'm having some old friends over!" She announced in a sing-song voice, "I'd love for the two of you to meet them! Come on, come on!" She beckoned the men inside with wide hand-gestures that had both Steve and Bucky chuckling.

Even before leaving the entrance area, Steve could smell the unmistakable fragrance of tea and coffee mixed with the smell of freshly baked cookies. He licked his lips, smiling at Bucky who was watching Steve with a strange look on his face.

"Now, behave you two." Peggy warned them before leading the two into the living room.


I really hope you guys liked it! Let me know what you think~

See you soon!