Obligatory disclaimer: The Mouse owns all, save my own original characters.
"James, you are hurt."
Both Julia and James stood, panting heavily, over the prostate form of Cobb. The silence following the clashing of steel against steel was deafening. After the passage of several long moments, James broke his gaze away from his former First Mate and blinked at Julia, as if coming out of a fog. With a shake of his head that caused him to wince, James smiled wryly and finally acknowledged Julia's words by brushing the back of his hand across his bottom lip. When James did indeed come away with blood, he replied, "'Tis nothing."
Julia shook her head in a cross between frustration and concern. "No. I mean, yes, your lip is split. But your arm. He cut you and it bleeds freely still. It needs to be tended to." Taking a few hesitant steps towards James, Julia wanted to touch the area around the wound to see how bad it was but instead settled on pointing to the injury.
James looked down and acknowledged the gash with a nod of his head. Damn if it did not hurt now that he took a look at it. "No matter."
The careless manner in which James replied stilled Julia's footsteps. Her hands closed into fists lest she grab the man before her and shake some sense into him. Much longer and the loss of blood would cause James to feel woozy and possibly pass out. "What? Of course it is! Let me put a dressing on it." Julia lifted the hem of her shirt and grabbed the edge of her petticoat, about to tear the garment before James stayed her hands.
James kneeled before Julia, nearly breathless with how close he was to her person… how near her face was to his…. how near he was to… "No! Please do not ruin your clothing on account of me. My shirt is already damaged; are you not able to use the fabric from the sleeve as a bandage?" Stunned by the proximity of his person to Julia's, James removed his hands from Julia's and rocked back on his heels.
Julia looked down at James, squatting before her, and was shocked by her desire to have him run his hands up her legs. Unsure of what to do, Julia swallowed hard and wet her lips as she formulated a plan. "Take your shirt off. Let me look at the injury and then we shall see if the shirt needs to be sacrificed. If not, it still might be salvaged." Julia felt the blood drain from her face at the prospect of James disrobing and having to remain unaffected. She closed her eyes and quietly sighed.
James raised a brow and smirked. "I think that the shirt is beyond hope. But let me check on Cobb first. I must admit that I am quite impressed with how you smash a rock. Remind me not to end up on your bad side. Oh, wait. I already am." James then rose to his feet, bracing his hands on his knees as he did so.
"James, that is not fair…" Julia complained to his turned back.
Fair, let me tell you about fair. I was once… Bugger, what does it matter? Nothing is fair, is it? But James was silent as he crouched next to the prone figure of Cobb. He placed his hand on the man's chest and was able to feel a steady heartbeat.
Julia crept closer, peering at Cobb over the shoulder of James. "Is he… dead?" Julia squeezed her eyes shut in disappointment that her voice came out in a whisper. She knew better than to sigh in frustration for James was irritated enough with her as it was.
James shook his had in the negative, feeling the heat of Julia's presence a few mere inches behind him. He wanted to be angry with Julia for sending him back to the party – for getting herself into trouble – but all he wanted to do was take her in his arms and kiss her until they were both dizzy. Short of that, he would have to deal with the situation at hand. "Nay, he is only out cold. Cobb shall have a nasty headache when he comes to, but you have managed to knock him unconscious. Although I cannot say for how long, so I should let you do your doctoring and use the remainder of the shirt to tie him up. What say you?"
Not liking how the moments after her rescue were going, Julia decided to be pragmatic for the time being and don a more business-like persona. "Stand. Let me have a look."
James rose to his feet. Silently, he unbuttoned the garment and with a careless shrug, shed his shirt and watched as Julia closed the distance between them. He then had to look away for fear that he would remove more than just his shirt. Worrying his bottom lip between his teeth, Julia's touch was feather light as she explored the wound, her breath warm against his bare skin.
Do not look at his chest. Do not look at his chest. Do not look at his chest.
"James, the wound is much deeper than I thought. It shall require stitches in order not to scar." Julia kept her eyes low and was unaware that James pressed his lips so tightly together that a white line formed. She did notice how his arm muscles flexed and contracted in response to the news.
His words were harsh, but his tone was soft. "Then scar it shall, for after you bandage my arm I shall carry Cobb back to the house and then be on my way." James handed Julia the remains of his shirt without comment.
Julia felt her entire world collapsing on top of her and she was unsure of how to stop the domino effect of her earlier words. She accepted the shirt, then looked up to see James staring back at her. The storm raging in his emerald eyes nearly brought Julia to her knees.
Her words burst forth like water through a broken dam. "James, I am sorry. I meant not to hurt you. I was not angry before. I am not angry now. I was… overwhelmed. I just needed a moment or two –."
"Which almost got you raped – or worse," James interrupted. The look in his eyes was ferocious. But his words were like silk against her skin. There was no accusation, only sadness, in his tone. His brow furrowed and he wet his lips, a barrage of unasked questions held on the tip of his tongue.
Julia had the grace to look contrite. But James was impressed that she did not look away as she replied, "I was wrong. Please, let me put a dressing on this and then… may we talk?"
James broke eye contact first and looked up at the canopy of trees stretched above their heads. When he was little, the sound of the wind swaying tree branches made James think that angels were trying to whisper their secrets to him. While knowing that it was nothing of the sort, James took strength in the fact that no matter what, he would end up on his feet. Someone, something, some how always made sure of that. "Julia, I think I have done enough talking."
Julia would not be swayed once her mind was set. "Then you listen. Let me talk. I have a few things to say myself."
James lowered his gaze and with a slight bob of his head, acquiesced to Julia's request.
Julia wanted to scream in frustration, for this was nothing like she planned their reunion to be. Oh yes, a half-dressed James before her was a good start, but this ocean of bitterness stretching out between them was enough to make her beg James' forgiveness. But it was he was the one who felt the need to confess his past sins. Did he really expect to do that without consequence? Julia ripped the fabric of the shirt into several strips, the sounds of the tears reverberating in the night air.
"You are an insufferable man if you think that I would accept your confessions without protest. As I said, I was not angry earlier, but I was – and am – certainly confused." To emphasize her words, Julia wrapped the bandage tightly, ignoring the involuntary flinching of her patient. James let a slight hiss escape past his lips as Julia tied the bandage tight to keep it from slipping.
When James did not reply to her comment, Julia continued, "James, you know others would never have told women of their past. Or, they would wait until the marriage ceremony was completed before reveling something so monumental. Now, I ask, why did you tell me?"
With a shirt, the evening breeze was comfortable, but James felt his skin cooling in the night air. He shuddered, much to his dismay. Without comment, Julia handed over the coat she had borrowed earlier, then followed James to the bench. Watching her companion shrug on the coat, Julia had to remind herself to stick to her convictions and not melt into a puddle.
Once seated, James leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees, hands clasped before him. "I told you so that there would be no secrets between us. I told you so that you would know whom you were inviting into your life."
Julia assumed the same posture as James. "Did you intend to propose tonight?"
His shoulders rose and fell as a sigh escaped past his lips and he shook his head in disbelief. After all the months of writing her, why did Julia's candor surprise him? "And you said earlier that I did not mince words…" He sighed again. "If not tonight, then soon."
Julia leaned back against the back on the bench and pinched the bridge of her nose, not caring if it was improper or unladylike. A headache was started to form behind her eyes, but Julia realized that there was no turning back from the coarse the conversation was taking. "And if I did not accept?"
James launched himself off the bench and began to pace. "I was not willing to entertain that option."
Julia was silent, absorbing his last statement. Was she really entertaining the notion of spending the rest of her life with this man? But there was so much that he wanted – so much that he expected – from a wife. And was she going to be able to live up to his expectations?
Pausing mid-stride, James held out his right hand and commanded. "Give me the shirt remains. I shall bind Cobb's hands and feet."
Handing the torn fabric without comment, Julia had to look away from James and his bare torso. Closing her eyes, she was immediately back to the last night they spent together, reliving the passion they shared. My God, I am dying from want out here. My parents were right; I was born with an overabundance of original sin.
"You are safe from Cobb."
Her eyes popped open and she looked over to see the man trussed up, completely incapacitated. Julia felt a smile tug at her lips. "Thank you."
Nodding his head in acknowledgement, James resumed his pacing. Watching him walk back and forth before her made Julia nervous, so she hugged her arms to herself, shrinking inward as much as possible. "But what about children? Surely you must want children." Julia was disappointed that her tone came out with a whisper of desperation. She tilted her head back and watched the stars wink in and out of sight as the breeze swayed the branches above her.
James stopped in front of Julia and squatted before her, forcing Julia to look him in the eyes. His hand cupped her chin, his thumb tracing circles along her jawline. "If we do not have children ourselves, there are plenty in the poorhouses of England who are in need of a good home." His emerald eyes reflected unlimited empathy.
Julia felt her owns eyes widen in disbelief. My God, that is what I used to tell my husband all the time.
Trying to recover, Julia pressed on. Unconsciously, she leaned forward, the distance between them just mere inches. "You said that you were exploring alternate employment…"
James smiled, but the humor did not reach his eyes. Julia looked so young and earnest, like someone whose hopes had been raised and dashed too many times, but still held out one last bit of optimism. He pivoted and slid back onto the seat next to her, his hand slipping from her chin to her knee. "Aye, that I did. And that I do – have some offers, that is."
The desperation in her voice caused his heart to break. "James, you would really give up the sea for me?"
His hand on her knee squeezed gently, taking some of the sting out of his words. "Nay, I give up the sea for no one, save myself."
"So if I did not accept the proposal–."
"Which has not been asked," James interrupted.
Julia raised a brow, but nodded her head. "But if the proposal was asked and I did not accept then you would still give up the ocean?"
"Yes."
The single word hung in the darkness, suspended amongst the branches above their heads. Julia wanted to believe him, had to believe him. Even if he would not give up the waters on his own, James was still willing to take to land for her. For her. Everything in her life had been dictated by the actions of others – even if people thought otherwise. But here was a man who was willing to change his life to better hers, rather than asking for her to give up all that she held near and dear. However, James had yet to say what it was he would be doing instead. Does is really matter as long as I can be with him?
Julia broke the silence first. "James, if the situation was reversed, I would have asked first and confessed second. That said, whatever offer you are willing to make, I am willing to accept."
His brow furrowing in perplexity, James cocked his head to the side and wet his lips. "Julia, I am going to blame my confusion on the loss of blood, but what on earth are you taking about?"
"You said earlier that I know you better than I knew my husband before I married him. Truth be known, I know you better in the few months we have been corresponding… the week aboard the ship even… than I knew my husband all of my marriage to him. I… I miss being a wife. I would like to be one again. Will you… will you have me?"
