Chapter 6: Close
Jesse Flores stumbled in the hallway, gripping the railing as the muscles in her body contracted. She cursed under her breath as she let her head head down, feeling her curly black hair fall off her shoulders and hang in the open air. She closed her eyes and let her stomach fill with air before letting it out slowly. Jesse waited for a few minutes before she lifted her head and started walking to the soldier's quarters. She turned left and walked down a purposefully dark hallway and turned right to see Resistance soldiers waiting for a call to action.
The Romeo squad was huddled around their captain's bunk playing with a deck of cards. They were the rowdiest group of soldiers at the moment, roaring with laughter as their fellow soldiers lost what few privileges they had one by one. A small smile grew on Jesse's face as she passed by remembering all the times her former squad had tried to play poker with nothing to gamble. She was glad money wasn't around any longer because when she had gone back to the past she had started to develop a problem. But Derek had arrived shortly after and pulled her out of it. And she had been there for him when he had started drinking beer. But no matter how hard she tried, she wasn't able to get him to quit until a couple months before the war came back.
Jesse looked over her companions seeing entirely new faces. They weren't the same people she had worked with before and it only reminded of the fact that everything was constantly changing. She grit her teeth as another contraction tore through her body but kept her head up. Three members of the Hotel squad were napping against the concrete wall with their plasma rifles in their arms, ready to get up when they needed. The rest of the Hotel squad was paired with the Sierra squad as they sat around a makeshift table eating cans of beans and dried apple slices with plastic silverware and making toasts with their water-filled canteens. Despite the fact that they had lost everything, they still found ways to be optimistic.
Hope was something the machines could never take out of the Resistance. They could tear apart their strongholds and kill the ones they loved but they would find another place to go. And they would never stop loving the ones they lost. Jesse's smile fell at the hopeful thought and felt a wave of sadness force her to stop moving. She placed her hand on the wall and closed her eyes, fighting back the tears and willed herself to move further. She turned right at their quarters and saw her husband sitting on a stool by his cot with his hands over his mouth.
Jesse drew in a slow breath as she shuffled forward, grabbing a stool and dragging it close to her husband. He lifted his head and his hard green eyes met her's, instantly softening. Jesse gave him a weak smile as she sat down and he scooted forward to hold her hand. She licked her dry lips as she squeezed his warm, dirty fingers gently.
"Are you okay?"
He nodded slowly.
"Holding up. What about you?"
Jesse brushed her dark hair behind her shoulders as she let out a small sigh.
"Holding up."
Derek opened his mouth to speak but stopped once he noticed Jesse wince placing a hand on her stomach. He got off the stool and knelt in front of her, keeping her upright as her body tensed up. She let out a cry and stamped her foot on the ground, almost jutting into Derek's chin. She squeezed her eyes shut and it felt like an eternity before she opened her eyes and relaxed. Jesse let out a weak laugh as she moved to hold his wrists.
"I'm getting closer."
He nodded slowly.
"How close?"
"Soon. It gets worse every minute."
Derek nodded slowly and Jesse sighed and sat up a little straighter, trying to calm her heart rate. Her mind began to race with all the thoughts and fears that had been consuming her ever since she had learned she was pregnant again. Her eyes were trained on the floor ahead of her, quickly slipping out of time and into her head. She rubbed her stomach softly, staring off into the distance. Then she felt Derek's hand slide up her back and onto her shoulder.
"Jesse?"
She blinked with surprise, meeting his eyes.
"Sorry, I…"
"What's wrong?"
Jesse's eyebrows furrowed and she quickly smiled.
"I… I just…"
"I asked you a question and you didn't respond. You just stared ahead, mindlessly. What's bothering you?"
Jesse placed a hand on his knee and looked straight into his eyes, feeling her own begin to well up with tears.
"I'm scared. I… I don't want to do it again. We already lost two and… I'm afraid."
"Jesse, it wasn't your fault. You didn't know that you were pregnant when we went on that charge. There was no way to tell."
She drew in a sharp breath, shaking her head quickly.
"But that was just the first one. Last time… last time I did all this and… and… he was dead. I… I gave birth to a dead child!"
Derek placed his hands on her shoulders, looking straight into her eyes.
"I know, Jesse. I was there."
"Doesn't it haunt you everyday? I… I just close my eyes and I see him. And I think of how I… how I…"
"Of course I think about it. But Jesse, maybe it wasn't right. Maybe he wouldn't have been strong enough to live in this world. Maybe we weren't ready for it."
Tears rolled down Jesse's cheek and she quickly covered her face with her free hand as she sniffled softly.
"You know, I had a partner once who was convinced that everything happened for a reason. All the good and all the bad… everything. I don't know if that means that there's fate or some god out there but he gave me a pretty good reason to believe it."
Derek gently pulled Jesse's hand away from her face.
"How else would we have found each other, Jesse? How long do you think you and I would last with different partners? We're meant to be together."
Jesse smiled weakly and Derek placed a hand on her stomach, speaking softly.
"Besides… none of that is going to happen this time. I can feel it."
Jesse nodded before she closed her eyes again, squeezing Derek's fingers as hard as she could as another contraction came. She leaned backward and Derek quickly moved to make sure she wouldn't fall off. Jesse grit her teeth and Derek held her while another tear fell down her cheek. She shook her head quickly, flicking her hair in his face every couple seconds. She gasped and held the air in for a few seconds before it finally passed. She let out a sigh and fell back into Derek's arms, breathing heavily.
"I… I think I'm… ready."
"Really?"
"Yeah… yeah."
Derek nodded and helped her sit upright, giving her a moment to rest before he helped her to her feet. Derek leaned toward his cot and grabbed the pistol he always carried with him and shoved it into the back of his pants. They walked slowly through the hallway toward the medical bay, staying close to the walls. Her breaths were heavy and Derek consoled her every step of the way. One of the standby nurses watched them around the corner and rushed over, taking Jesse's other side.
"How are you feeling, Jesse?"
"Well… I'm… close."
"Okay, let's check you out."
As they turned left into one of the makeshift operating rooms, Derek felt the ground begin to rumble. He helped get his wife onto the table/bed and stepped away, looking out the door for any movement. Jesse's eyebrows furrowed as she watched Derek move for the door and tense up.
"What's wrong?"
Jesse's heart beat elevated as she watched him tense up at the doorway. She grit her teeth as the pain began to come back, trying to hear what was happening. A long minute of silence passed before a deafening bang echoed throughout the entire base. Jesse ducked her head on instinct and instantly felt hotter. She gasped with surprise and pain and she looked up to find that Derek was already gone. Jesse drew in a deep breath and tried to push off to go see what was happening but the nurse placed her hand on her shoulders.
"Hold on, Jesse. You've got to stay!"
Jesse could hear shouts of confusion, panic, and quick, heavy footsteps outside and longed to be among them. Her heart pounded faster with every second that passed and she shouted as the pain began once again.
"What happened!? I… I need to…"
Jesse gasped and dropped her head onto the table as she let out a scream, gripping the nurse's right wrist. She could barely hear the nurse cry for assistance over her heavy breaths. Suddenly everything caught up. The pain refused to leave as her mind raced with fearful thoughts. Something bad had happened and she was stuck but she knew this was it. It was happening. After nine months of stress and worry, she was going to have the baby.
