Don't do PCP guys. It's not good for you.
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As the campers dispersed, Max, Neil, and Nikki gathered over by the Science Camp¹. "All right, guys," Max took a deep breath. "As much as it pains me to say this, I think I preferred David to this new can of fresh hell. We have to get rid of her."
¹(Science and more Camp!)
Kyaaah, Weiss, not there!
"Wait a minute," interjected Neil. "You? You hate David! Why would you of all people want to trade back for him?"
Weiss, wait, you're gonna tear my clothes off! WaaHaaeoGAAaaooo! Ahhh...sensitive there...MMMMMMMMMMHHH!
"Because," Max explained, "this crazy bitch is, for all intents and purposes, David! It's like he never fucking left! All the cheerful, sickening, irrational, unreasonable, naive optimism in the face of an uncaring world with no regard toward how normal people deal with how shitty life is! It's like both David and this Ruby are on a holy crusade to force their worldview down our throats!"
Weiss, *sniff* stop spreading my leeegggGGSSSS EEYYYYAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!
"Only now, instead of the most dangerous thing we have to deal with being the fucking almanac on tape," Neil and Nikki groaned in stereo at their counselor's poor taste in listening material, "we get literal fucking firefights. For fucking breakfast!"
WEISS! WEISS! COMING! COMING THROUGH THE HOLE! WEISS! WEISS! WEISS! WEISS! WEISS! WEEEIIIIIIISSSSSSSSS!
A loud crash was heard over at the Mess Hall. "Jesus Christ, what the hell are they doing?" Neil fidgeted nervously, while Nikki listened with a pointed interest and fascination.
"No idea, but it just proves my point," Max said disinterestedly. "If Ring-Around-The-Rosy runs our summer, we not only have to deal with fucking David levels of saccharine bullshit, but also have to fear for our lives. Our first priority needs to be sticking together for survival whilst sabotaging and driving out our new counselors."
Weiss, it ripped and now I'm bleeding where it ripped!
Oh, be quiet. We'll clean you up. Next time, if you are more careful, it won't rip again and you won't bleed again. Now let's get some clothes on you.
A look of resolution and determination crossed Neil's countenance. "You know what? You're right. I almost was concussed this morning from the negligence and recklessness of that nutcase. I could have suffered severe damage to my brain: the only fucking thing I have going for me to carry me through life in the long term. I'm in! How about you, Nikki?"
"Hm? Ahm, yeaahhh, sorry. Gonna have to say no on this one guys," Nikki shifted awkwardly.
Max and Neil paused, dumbfounded, before Max shouted "WHAT?"
"Yeah, I'm actually confused as to why you thought I would want Ruby gone in the first place," elaborated Nikki. "I mean, you guys know I am impressionable due to a lack of parental involvement, and that I have a tendency to attach myself to cool older girls and blindly follow them. Plus, I told you guys from the beginning; I'm an agent of chaos. And from where I'm standing, this Ruby chick looks pretty chaotic, if I can just find a way to separate Weiss from her and take her place..." Nikki trailed off with a morally dubious expression on her face.
"Goddammit Nikki!" Max exclaimed scornfully. "Is there ever going to be a time when your fucking abandonment issues don't dictate every waking minute of your life? Honestly, it feels like the only person I can count on is-"
"Campe Diem, Neil!" Weiss' naturally crisp and professional voice brought the three campers' attention behind them. In the crook of Weiss' left arm, she held a plethora of test tubes, beakers, burners, pipettes, purifiers, and other lab equipment. Her right arm was raised in the Camp Campbell salute, while Ruby sheepishly hung back behind her.
Ruby wore a spare pair of David's khaki camp shorts, leather camp belt, green camp shirt, and brown camp vest. In lieu of David's yellow camp shirt he wore as a neckerchief, her red cape ornamented her neck. Her androgynous clothes combined with her underdeveloped body made her look even more boyish than usual, and the fact that David's overlarge shirt understated her already modest breasts wasn't helping.
"Ah-ah-uhm...C-Campe Diem, Ms. Weiss!" stuttered out Neil as he gazed with desire at the long, round instruments of fluid transfer that Weiss held pressed against her chest.
"For the next activity," Weiss proceeded as Ruby shifted awkwardly behind her. "Ruby decided to have me take point due to my expertise and qualifications in the area." Weiss might not have meant to look self-satisfied while saying this, but she did. Max wore his typical skeptical expression. Neil appeared oddly...aroused? However, his attentions were not fixed on the counselors, but still on the test equipment. Nikki looked bemused as she evaluated Ruby's new appearance.
After several seconds went by, it became obvious that Weiss expected some sort of response, or a question as to what the activity was.
After several more seconds passed, it became obvious that on inquisition of any sort was forthcoming. Weiss cleared her throat.
"We will be learning about how to refine, process, and use energy propellant in a myriad of practices." Weiss declared with gravitas.
Neil raised an eyebrow at this. "What, rocket fuel? Or are we talking something more interesting?"
Weiss' expression waxed smug. Very smug. "Oh, believe me, it is very interesting. We will be studying and using dust." Smug was radiating from Weiss like alpha particles from an atomic nucleus.
"Dust." Neil's expression was now as skeptical as Max's had been (Max had gotten bored and started to look around restlessly).
"Indeed! As heiress to the Schnee Dust Company, I am well versed in the properties of dust. That said, today, we are going to be studying the special refining process of Camp Campbell in producing 'Angel Dust!'"
And suddenly, Max was paying very, very close attention. Neil's face wore a mask of abject terror, while Nikki looked mildly interested.
"Ooh ooh! That's one of the things my dad says he wishes he could do when my mom wasn't around! Which was often...all the time...although come to think about it, I think mom kept a baggie labeled Angel Dust taped to the back of her dresser..." The green haired child with abandonment issues jumped up and down in excitement before adopting a more pensive line of affectation.
"We're glad you're excited," Ruby said while rubbing Nikki's hair, causing the miniature maniac to merrily beam. "Weiss thought-I mean we wanted to keep this group activity...smaller this time to keep it from getting out of hand, but if you want to get involved, you're welcome to."
Nikki sidled up against Ruby's normal knees. "I definitely want to get involved...whatever that means."
"Okay! Ruby and I made a preliminary batch before we came out, so together, we can run experiments on this to see what effects this type of dust has." Weiss produced a bag of powder.
"Ptt-WE CAN'T DO THAT!" Neil shouted out.
Weiss raised an eyebrow. "Why not?" she asked.
"We're just kids! That stuff is too fucking dangerous for people our age!" Neil's noodle arms started flailing around wildly. "When I said 'rocket fuel,' I meant literal rocket fuel, not PCP!"
Ruby and Weiss felt confused. "So, you're telling me," Ruby said, "that none of you guys ever use any kind of dust?"
"No! God, are you fucking crazy?" Max rolled his eyes.
Ruby frowned. "They how do you guys have any fun without dust! I mean, I started using it when I was, I don't know, four? Everybody in my family uses it. Even my mother used it to chase dragons when she was pregnant with me! That is how awesome she was!"
Then, Max came to a realization. "Oh shit, they are crazy. They have shown no signs of being anything but crazy. Or being part...of a giant corporation...that sells PCP. To pregnant women and families." Fear began to fill Max. Then, a strange odor. One that reeked of a combination of crystal meth, rat poison, rust, inbreeding, banjos, and contractual damnation.
The odor silenced the conversation, and then stalked around the five assembled, trailing menacingly as the source of the scent approached from the distance. It was odd how a scent can move independently from the source, but the hook handed goblin managed to pull such physical impossibilities off.
"Oh thank God, it's the quartermaster, we're...saved." Max trailed off unenthusiastically.
"That's the quartermaster?" Weiss asked. Neil nodded.
"That's not an inhuman monster?" Ruby asked. Nikki shrugged.
Snnngtk "Nnmngwhatcha got there." The singular eye of the questionably human creature fixed on the bag of Angel Dust.
"Oh...we were just having a lesson about science-" Weiss' explanation was cut off.
"Gimme that." The quartermaster snatched the bag of PCP and poured it all into a drink which he then proceeded to chug and summarily discard.
"ngnnnndon't be making no crackheads stealing my shit fucking tweakers." The quartermaster trailed off as he disappeared into the forest.
There was silence.
Weiss started shaking. An enrage flush started to color her face. Gritting her teeth, she started muttering. "...every time, every time, every single time a Schnee deigns to advance the world through technological innovation, somebody has to impede our progress though theft, intimidation, and otherwise-"
Ruby shook Weiss by the shoulders. "Hey! Hey! Say my name," ordered the team leader while Neil and Max stole away, leaving behind hand-knitted decoys in their place.
Then there was more silence as Ruby held Weiss close.
"You're Rubin Blume*."
"You're Goddamn Weiss. Now, let's do some science." Ruby looked straight into her partner's eyes while Nikki watched the exchange with curiosity.
Then something clicked in Nikki's awakening mind. "Oohhhhhh. This was about drugs!"
*German for Ruby Flower
Omake: Ren and Nora, fin
Nikki slowly got up, clutching the side of her head, looking around at an unfamiliar place. It looked like a kitchen, or a kitchen in a classroom? Then, a wafting smell brushed past her nose, lifting her to her tip-toes, then down on all fours as she crawled around the counters, seeking out the source of the scent.
Over by the stove, the black haired...boy, yeah definitely a boy, was slicing an apple into a pan while wear wearing a pink apron emblazoned with "Please do nothing to the cook." Once he was done slicing, he threw away the core and put in some water while heating the pan.
"Hello." The boy's ponytail swung against his back as he turned to Nikki. "I don't think I caught your name earlier."
"I'm Nikki." The diminutive dryad peered suspiciously around her. "Where is-"
"Tied up in the cupboard." Pressing the apples with a wooden spoon, the boy took them off to the side to cool. "My name is Lie Ren."
"The cupboard?" Nikki raised her eyebrow, then jumped as the door next to her rattled, along with muffled cries. "I didn't take you for the type..."
"Hm? Oh! Oh no. Nora did that herself. This level of consciousness is just a manifestation of our desires for pacification."
Nikki raised an eyebrow, cocking her head to the side. "What?"
Ren sighed, pouring maple syrup and cinnamon on the simmering apple porridge in front of him. "Would you rather relax with a bear or relax with the porridge?"
By now, the kitchen was a myriad of scents, bubbling sounds, and colors. The steam rose, reflecting beams of light, shining with iridescent surreal hues, almost as a visual representation of the flavor permeating the kitchen.
"I guess-I guess I want porridge..." Nikki admitted as the soporific atmosphere enveloped her.
"And I want to cook, while Nora..." More rattling noises ensued from the cupboard. "Apparently Nora can only relax by repressing her desires so that nobody can know them. I wonder what she is so insecure about that she feels the need to hide it from me?"
"Gosh, how strange," pondered Nikki. Her thoughts were interrupted with a bowl and a spoon, and flavorful fragrance from figs, apples, cinnamon, syrup, and other lovely-
*gulp*
Nikki's eyes began to tear up up on her first bite. "It tastes like... like I still have loving parents!" she sniffed.
"I knowwwww!" wailed Nora as Ren spoon-fed her in the cupboard.
"I'm sorry I sicced wild animals on you! I just wanted this feeling of fulfillment and was trying to replace that with creatures that are slaves to their basic instincts!"
"I'm sorry too! I just didn't want to be in a different class than Ren next year!" Ren just nodded as the two girls wailed in stereo, allowing culinary catharsis to carry it's course.
"Now, are you too ready to wake up?" Nikki and Nora sniffed and nodded. Stars covered their eyes, and everything faded into reality.
As Ren and Nora snuck back to their dorm, Nora exclaimed "Wait! How am I supposed to get a good grade with Professor Port now!"
Ren sighed. "Nora, just right 'Blah blah blah blah blah blah,' on your next essay, and then you'll get an A." Nora eyed him skeptically. "Really Nora. Just try it. It will work."
Nikki got up, yawning in her tent. "What a strange dream." Suddenly, Max burst in shouting "NIKKI! We gotta go! Neil fixed up a biplane that Cameron Campbell hid and we're gonna steal it! Can you fly it?"
Nikki jumped up. "Can I?!"
Max cocked his head to the side. "I don't know, can you? That's why I asked-wOAH! Hey, wait for me!"
The Rick and Morty kinda got away from me for the omake. I'm not sure I was completely happy with how this chapter turned out, but I think stories like this one need balance. Ruby fucking up repeatedly makes a good start, but for there to be any sort of character arc, she needs to give the reins to Weiss for a bit. Things will gradually spiral out of control for Weiss (naturally), but Ruby will have to be there to catch her when she falls.
I think the thing I was most frustrated with about this chapter was the lack of subtext. I just couldn't stuff any more in. I even had to use the sloppy seconds of my previous chapter while sobbing at my own inadequacy.
LOL
