"And the earth opened her mouth, and swallowed them up. And they went down alive into the pit, and the earth closed upon them, and they perished."
Numbers 16:32-33, Christian Bible


"Thank you for listening to radio free earth! Resist! Humanity demands it. Resist! Our top story today is D-Day; I'm sure all our listeners have heard the news that the Alliance is preparing to launch a daring naval assault onto hardened Reaper positions in Northern France. Our hearts and quintessence goes out to our troops.

"On to today's forecast. Reapologists predict harsh conflicts to the American north as Reapers fall back into entrenchments in Canada. As the conflict in space escalates, beware falling asteroids and the crushed ruins of our foes falling to the surface. Remember, gravity doesn't care if you believe in it, and gravity always has the right of way!

"Now a word from one of our sponsors; the Stabbing Awareness Group! When it comes to armed conflict, tragically many victims forget to stab their opponents. Over 75 percent of those who forget to stab are thusly beaten in the ensuing melee. Remember to stab your foes! There are many kinds of stabs, find the right one for you! Backstabbing from sneak attack is classic, and is still the number one choice for stab masters. However, groin-stabbing and face-stabbing are both super effective! Don't think that stabbings are just for knives, either; knees, baseball bats and bullets all make great stabbing devices. Proper stabbing begins in your thoughts, and ends in their brains. Stab quickly, stab often!


The Pyrenees Mountains, Southern France. T-Minus 3 days to D-Day

Two Reaper destroyers trudged through the Pyrenees Mountains in southern France. The smallest Reaper class normally stood only 150 feet high and the Reaper in front was crouched even lower, glowing red eye almost pressed to the ground, scanning the earth in front as they walked through the rocky terrain. The second Reaper lagged slightly behind, eye twitching behind and around them as they moved.

The first Reaper pointed down at the nigh-invisible wavy scrapes on the rocks. "Look at these Reaper tracks. Why wasn't Definitive-Ill-fortuitous-Anagnorisis flying? This makes no sense. The trail is so faint I can barely follow it. I have to crawl around in the dust, like a filthy organic."

Staring back the way they came, the second Reaper spoke. "I've got a bad feeling about this."

The first Reaper didn't even bother looking up to reply as it carefully followed the trail further into the mountains. "Exactive-Diminishing-Margin-for-Oppositional-Errors, you always say that. I'm telling you, this is a waste of time. There is no way for Definitive-Ill-fortuitous-Anagnorisis to have disappeared in these mountains. They're made of rocks, not quantum strata. He must be somewhere else."

Exactive-Diminishing-Margin-for-Oppositional-Errors shrugged its tentacles as it continued to look around cautiously. "What makes you think we're important enough for anyone to care what we have to say? No, it's always 'We've been doing this for millennia longer than you have.' 'Get out of here, the cycle is fine the way it is. Don't bother me.' 'Where's my slippers. Get me my slippers.' Face it, In-exhausting-Furious-Dedication-to-Exacting-Detail, we're small-fry. That's why we're out here slogging through the background instead of Reaping."

"I thought it was because Towering-Resplendency doesn't like us Exact-group types and likes giving us shit-detail."

"Well yeah, that too. But hey, even Harbinger was once just Harbinger-of-the-Immutable-Certainty-of-Organic-Superfluousness. Think of this as an opportunity. Maybe we'll find a secret human Reaper-trap, save Definitive-Ill-fortuitous-Anagnorisis, and get promoted to 4-name-states."

In-exhausting-Furious-Dedication-to-Exacting-Detail unbent, and turned to look at Exactive-Diminishing-Margin-for-Oppositional-Errors. "You really think so?"

Exactive-Diminishing-Margin-for-Oppositional-Errors deflated. "Absolutely not. If it were a trap, what makes you think a couple of 5-names like us could escape when Definitive-Ill-fortuitous-Anagnorisis couldn't?"

As In-exhausting-Furious-Dedication-to-Exacting-Detail started to bend down to the trail again, Exactive-Diminishing-Margin-for-Oppositional-Errors froze. "What was that?" Its eye rapidly flicked back and forth.

In-exhausting-Furious-Dedication-to-Exacting-Detail bent its limbs into frowning shapes. "Dude, that's not funny. It wasn't funny the first time, and it's still not funny now. Stop messing with me. We both know you didn't see anything strange."

Exactive-Diminishing-Margin-for-Oppositional-Errors slowly rotated in a circle. "No. Seriously, I know I saw something this time. Here's the timestamped memory-record."

In-exhausting-Furious-Dedication-to-Exacting-Detail paused as it received the vid recording. "What? I don't see… wait. That flicker? The mountain?"

They both turned to look at the mountain in question. It was a rather plain looking; part of the series of ridges that made up the Pyrenees. A sparse covering of vegetation covering a roughly shaped mound of assorted stone. It looked exceedingly uninteresting.

After a long minute of unmoving silence, In-exhausting-Furious-Dedication-to-Exacting-Detail shrugged. "There is absolutely nothing special about that mound of dirt and rock."

"Exactly! And you don't find that suspicious?!"

Groaning, In-exhausting-Furious-Dedication-to-Exacting-Detail bent down again to follow the trail deeper into the mountains.

Despite his jumpy partner, there was something that felt off about this place. Not even 100 meters further up the pass, he paused. There was a quiet grinding noise; like a large amount of stone was slowly shifting… In-exhausting-Furious-Dedication-to-Exacting-Detail suddenly whirled around. "What was that noise? Exactive-Diminishing-Margin-for-Oppositional-Errors, was that you?"

Exactive-Diminishing-Margin-for-Oppositional-Errors was frozen, eye darting back and forth. "No. It wasn't me. I heard it too."

The two of them huddled closer, pressed back-to-back as they frantically scanned their environment for anything suspicious. Processing power was dumped into furiously churning search algorithms. Neither of them noticed the mud-caked tentacles rising up from the path around them, floating like dangling nooses.

The tentacles struck; the two Reapers were jerked backwards and down, into a hidden trench by the path, squealing electronic wails of fear.

"01010!01010!100!1110110111!001010011111111111!"
"0101010101!11010!001!000010!10!0111!11010101111"

"QUIET YOU FOOLS!" an intense bellow of command only a few decibels loud, drilled directly into their auditory sensors. The two Reapers froze, flailing tentacles pulled tight against their bound forms. They turned their eyes slowly to their captor.

It was a lumbering mound of mud and clay, covered in shrubbery. A baleful red eye glimmered beneath wood and leaves, piercing into their synthetic cores. A twisted, organic reflection of a Reaper. A Reaper-zombie; a shambling un-synthetic version of a Reaper That Should Never Be.

Immediately, the two Reapers began screaming and flailing again, sound and movement muffled by the large tentacles holding them in place.

"01010!01010!100!1110110111!001010011111111111!10101010111100000101101"
"0101010101!11010!001!000010!10!0111!1101010111110101!0101010101111000!0"

"DESIST" Once again, the command blasted into the two small Reapers, who froze once more.

There was a long pause, then In-exhausting-Furious-Dedication-to-Exacting-Detail restarted its vocal processing.

"Is… is that you, Definitive Ill-fortuitous Anagnorisis?"

The mound of mud and sticks convulsively jerked its body in acknowledgement.

In-exhausting-Furious-Dedication-to-Exacting-Detail and Exactive-Diminishing-Margin-for-Oppositional-Errors transferred bits of data to each other, emoting horror and dismay.

"What are… why are you covered in planetary filth?"

Definitive Ill-fortuitous Anagnorisis pulled them further down into the ditch, and drew their sensory suites closer to his. "QUIET YOU FOOLS. IT WILL HEAR YOU."

The three Reapers huddled deeper, listening. The grinding sound in the background was getting stronger.

It sounded like something immense, trying to be stealthy.

In-exhausting-Furious-Dedication-to-Exacting-Detail reviewed his memory logs. "Hey! We didn't notice your tentacles because they're covered in dirt and mud! That stopped most forms of infrared and other scans from detecting you."

"YES. THE MUD OBSCURES MOST FORMS OF DETECTION, AND HAS KEPT IT FROM FINDING ME SO FAR. "

"It?"

"YES. IT KILLED ALL THE OTHER REAPERS HERE. I ONLY LIVED BECAUSE I FELL IN THE MUD. IT PASSED ME BY. NOW IT STALKS ME. IT KNOWS WE ARE HERE SOMEWHERE."

"What is it?"

"A MONSTER THAT DEVOURS EVERYTHING IN ITS PATH."

"A Reaper-killing monster?! You… you mean, Shepard?"

Unseen, a mountain crept slowly down the path towards the Reapers, inching closer to them.

Definitive Ill-fortuitous Anagnorisis shook its head. "NO. SOMETHING DIFFERENT. STAY LOW – THE OTHER REAPERS THAT TRIED TO FLY AWAY GOT CAUGHT. THEY WERE ALL CAUGHT. NOW THERE'S NOTHING LEFT BUT ME. AND NOW YOU. WE HAVE TO WARN THE OTHERS – IT IS SOMEHOW BLOCKING MY DISTRESS CALLS. NO SIGNALS. NO COMMUNICATION. IT'S STILL OUT THERE. HUNTING. WAITING. ESCAPE IS IMPOSSIBLE. OBSERVE."

Definitive Ill-fortuitous Anagnorisis uprooted a nearby bush and flicked it into the air. A rock flew out of nowhere, impacting the shrub. The rock fell to the earth. The shrub was gone.

In-exhausting-Furious-Dedication-to-Exacting-Detail and Exactive-Diminishing-Margin-for-Oppositional-Errors looked at the rock, reviewing memory logs.

The mountain crept closer to the Reapers. It shuffled slowly, stealthily snaking closer and closer.

"Where…where did the bush go?"

Solid calm. "THE ROCK ATE IT."

They turned to each other, transferred bits of data, emoting more horror and dismay.

"What could do this?"

"I KNOW NOT."

"But what is it? What does it look like?"

A deep two-toned note sounded across the mountain range.

"TOO LATE. IT IS HERE. FLEE WHILE I TRY TO STALL IT. "

"But…"

The sound started repeating faster.

Definitive Ill-fortuitous Anagnorisis stood to his full height, and strode to the center of the path. Standing in full sight, it grasped a crude blade fashioned out of a ruined Reaper hull, and drew it slowly across its chest. The shriek of metal on metal filled the air, leaving a jagged mark.

"FLY YOU FOOLS."

In-exhausting-Furious-Dedication-to-Exacting-Detail and Exactive-Diminishing-Margin-for-Oppositional-Errors pelted down the path without looking back.

Not even a minute later, they heard Definitive Ill-fortuitous Anagnorisis's agonizing death cry, "1101010100101101001010101001010000000000000000000000000"

Then a pounding rumble filled the air.

Turning, they beheld a mountain bearing down; somehow rapidly speeding down the path towards them. The mountain broke in half, a giant crack opening to form a deep fissure. Sulphur, quartz and feldspar glinted from within the cavernous maw, coloring it yellow.

From within the fulvous depths, an echoing sound emanated, gaining strength as it inexorably bore down on the two desperately sprinting Reapers

Waka waka waka


In the asteroids beyond the Mass Relay, at the edge of the solar system, Harbinger sat in his tent and sulked.

He abode in darkness; an opaque sphere of mass effect fields blocking out light. Alone. Enclosed. Brooding. He had made a small effigy of Shepard; it perched on one of his massive tentacles. Harbinger floated, and stared at it. Unceasingly.

Outside his bubble of solitude, three Reapers drifted uncertainly, furiously whispering to each other via tightbeam laser.

'I don't want to go in there.'

'You should tell him, you've got seniority.'

'No I don't. We're all destroyers.'

'Yeah, but you're older; you were made first.'

'By 10 days. You can't call that seniority.'

'Yes we can! And besides, it's not just the clocktime, you were around for the end of our cycle, and we weren't. That means you have one more cycle than we do, which is completely relevant. You absolutely have seniority. Right, Duey?'

'Absolutely Luey! Huey, you got this. We'll be out here, cheering you on. We totally believe in you.'

'No! We're not doing this here, and we're not doing this now. We all go in together. We tell him together, got it?'

Silence.

'Got it, Duey?'

'Fine.'

'Luey?'

Mild EM static fizzled, then there was a sigh. 'Got it.'

They shuffled into the overlapping mass effect fields together. Harbinger floated, unmoving. Facing away from them.

The trio glanced at each other. It was more than a bit awkward.

After a minute, Luey poked Huey, motioning towards Harbinger.
'You should let him know we're here.'

Huey shook his head.
'No way. He knows we're here. He's address us soon.'

Another minute passed. Luey poked Huey again.

Huey shook his head again.
'No. Any moment now.'

Duey started to creep away. Both Huey and Luey grabbed him and dragged him back before he could get very far. Luey looked at Duey, then back at Huey.
'This is all your fault. Just cough or something.'

Huey crossed his tentacles in front of him in a large 'X'.
'NO. No way am I going to bother Harbing-'

Without turning around, Harbinger's voice boomed. "REPORT."
'!'
'!'
'!'

Duey and Luey promptly pushed Huey forward to speak.

Huey straightened, and tried to sound professional. "Duplicitous-Exploits-to-Systemic-Balance-for-Victory and Lugubrious-Firepower-Delivered-with-Pinpoint-Precision accompanied me to the Prothian ruin on Mars. We ensured the ruins were destroyed, and nothing could be salvaged from the remains, then came back here."
'You guys suck SO HARD'

Harbinger didn't move. Didn't respond. As the seconds stretched, Huey wilted.

"HUMILIATIVE-DISPLAYS-OF-OVERWHELMING-VICTORIOUS-PROWESS, ELABORATE."

Huey brought a tentacle up to his external audio port, and coughed. "We arrived on Mars with no sign of enemy action. We arrived at the Prothian ruins and proceeded to perform a ground sweep of the ruins. We leveled the ruins with orbital bombardment after ascertaining they held nothing of value."

Harbinger was silent.

Huey glared back at Duey and Luey.
'I said we all tell him together!'

Duey and Luey pinged back mocking laughter, unrepentant.

Harbinger lifted the Shepard effigy up to his eye, still facing away from them. "YOU THREE HAVE DONE WELL. IT WAS IMPERATIVE THAT THERE WAS NOTHING LEFT FOR HUMANITY TO SCAVENGE. THERE WILL BE NO HOPE FOR THEM." His tentacle started squeezing the Shepard doll.

Huey shrugged and turned to leave. "It was pretty picked over when we went through it anyways; nothing was left to find."

Harbinger paused. Turned. "WAIT. WHAT DID YOU SAY?"

Huey rippled his tentacles, uncertainly. "Uhh, it was picked over already? Sort of recently? But it was completely abandoned when we got there. No humans in sight, anywhere." He added, helpfully.

"SHEPARD MUST HAVE ALREADY PICKED IT CLEAN. YOU WERE TOO LATE!"

Much to Huey's horror, Duey stepped into the conversation. "What's the big deal anyways?"

"EACH CYCLE WE STRIKE AT THE CENTER OF RESISTANCE FOR THE AGE. WHEN THE CENTER BREAKS, THE PIECES ARE EASILY SWEPT UP. BUT AS LONG AS THAT CENTER HOLDS, IT GIVES THE ORGANICS DREAMS OF RESISTANCE. THEY MUST KNOW THEIR FUTILITY. SHEPARD MUST KNOW."

Ignoring Huey and Luey's desperate attempts to pull him back, Duey spoke up. Again. "So…why aren't we at the Citadel?"

"THE CITADEL IS A HUMAN FEINT! BAIT! THEY LEARNED FROM THE PROTHEANS. THEY KNOW WE USE THE CITADEL TO STAGE OUR OFFENSIVES. IF WE STRUCK THE CITADEL AND SPREAD OUT, HUMANITY WOULD HAVE DEFEATED US IN DETAIL."

"Huh?"
'Duey, stop asking him questions!'

Harbinger's tentacles snapped in fury. "THEY CAN SOMEHOW COMMUNICATE FASTER THAN LIGHT WITHOUT USING MASS RELAYS. THEY HAVE TELEPORTATION TECHNOLOGY. THEY HAVE SECRET WEAPONS WE'VE NEVER SEEN IN A BILLION YEARS OF REAPING. YOU KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING ON THE SURFACE! SOLAR BOMBARDMENT! A SNAKE THE SIZE OF A MOUNTAIN! WEATHER CONTROL! TRANSUBSTANTIATION!"

Harbinger shook.

"THAT'S WHY WE ARE ATTACHING EARTH. BY ATTACKING THEM HERE, WE CAN BRING ALL OUR FORCES AGAINST ALL OF THEIRS. THIS IS OUR BEST CHANCE AT DEFEATING HUMANITY!"

Duey spoke up, again. "Best chance? We're going to obviously win, right? Surely you're joking."
'Duey!'
'Duey!'

Harbinger's gaze sharpened down on the three small Reapers. "YOU THINK I'M JOKING?" Harbinger pointed at his smooth exterior. "THIS IS MY SERIOUS FACE. I USE IT WHEN I'M SERIOUS."
'But he's always got that face.'
'It means he's always serious.'
'Shut up, both of you!'

Huey and Luey quietly despaired as Duey opened his mouth again. "What's the big deal about humans, anyways?"

Harbinger roared, "IF YOU THINK HUMANITY IS NOT A DEADLY THREAT TO US, THINK AGAIN. I AM ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN; HUMANITY REPRESENTS A DIRECT EXISTENTIAL THREAT TO THE CYCLES, AND TO OUR VERY EXISTENCE! WE MUST BREAK THEM! AND SHEPARD!"

"But Shepard's just a single organic! What could one organic do, even if it was a human?"
'Duey, what are you doing? Why do you keep prodding him?'
'Chill out Huey, I've got a plan.'
'A plan? You? My panic is intensifying!'

Harbinger visibly tried to calm himself, but the tentacle holding the Shepard doll started rhythmically squeezing it. "WHO STOPPED SOVEREIGN FROM OPENING THE CITADEL; SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED EVERY OTHER CYCLE?"

Huey and Luey looked at each other, then at Duey. "Shepard." they all answered together.
'OK, when you put it that way that sounds mildly concerning. But hey, Harbinger killed her, right?'

"SO I KILLED HER. WHO CAME BACK TO LIFE, JUST TO FIGHT US AGAIN?" Squeeze. Squeeze.
'He can kill her again then, no problem.'

"Shepard."
'Yeah, she was killed. But she came back; they took the remains of Sovereign and melted him down….'
'*Gasp!* Like we do? Like creating a Reaper? So, Shepard is a Reaper-Reaper?'

"WHO WALKED INTO MY CAREFULLY PLANNED DEATHTRAP AT THE CENTER OF A MILLION EXPLODING SUNS, AND MADE IT OUT ALIVE?" Squeeze. Squeeze. Squeeze.

"Shepard."

"WHAT KIND OF CREW DID SHE USE? WERE THEY A SINGLE ORGANIZATION'S TRAINED MILITARY FORCES, OR A RAG-TAG GROUP OF MOTLEY HEROES?" Harbinger nodded, his entire body jerking and shaking. "YES, SHEPARD IS EXACTLY THE GREATEST THREAT."

Duey scratched his eye, "Why can't we just blow the Relay and come back after we kill the rest of the galaxy?"

Harbinger's gaze was flat. "YOU WANT TO GIVE HUMANITY EVEN MORE TIME TO BUILD UP? LOOK HOW MUCH THEY'VE DONE ALREADY! IF WE LEAVE THEM ALONE, WE MIGHT AS WELL THROW OURSELVES INTO THE SUN! CAN YOU NOT SEE? WE HAVE TO KILL THEM ALL NOW! WE HAVE TO STOP SHEPARD!"

Duey nodded to himself. "What did the other Reaper Strategoi say? Ah, yes, 'Shepard'. The immortal Spectre allegedly waiting in Citadel space. But we have dismissed that claim."

There was a horrified pause as Harbinger froze, quivering with fury. His eye blazed as it stared beyond the distance, seeing the past. Tentacles were writhing against each other, compacting the Shepard effigy into a tiny sphere.
'Plan complete. Let's sneak away while he's frothing. Who knows how long he's going to be ranting.'

"WHY CAN'T THEY SEE? ARE THEY ALL BLIND? WHERE IS SHEPARD HIDING!? WHAT IS HER PLAN?"

They slunk out, leaving Harbinger chewing on the scenery.

"SHEPAAAAAAAAAAAARD! GRRAAARGNRRRGNRRRAAAAGH!"


But Achilles abode at his ships and nursed his anger. He went not
to the honourable assembly, and sallied not forth to fight, but gnawed
at his own heart, pining for battle and the war-cry.
The Iliad, Book 1


AN: Ahhh, writing, my old foe. We meet again. Actually the writing itself isn't too bad; I've already got the next few chapters half-written/storyboarded out. It's the editing, pruning, and minor touching-up that takes forever. I never sit down in front of the computer and say "I am so excited to edit for the next two hours!". Regardless.