PART IX

My eyes flicker behind my eyelids as I contemplate. Like James, my time too, is nearing its end. Not as soon as his, but… soon. I serve, because long before my time, a contract was made with the first of my kind… one bound to those who seek immortality.

Immortality.

The thing about spending forever with the one you love, is forever only lasts until you're dead. A predetermined time upon which your death is inevitable; it is only the means of how, that can be changed.

I still struggle accepting that my choices weren't really my own, and I oft wonder how else I could've become a vampire, if not by my original course. Or how else I would've died, if not at the hands of the Volturi.

I sigh and needlessly rub my eyes. Whoever 'they' are, sure have a sick sense of humour. As if witnessing billions of deaths and thousands of years of history as only a spectator wasn't punishment enough.

"Oh Bella!" Agnus' childish voice echoes through the halls of the hospital. "Have you come to visit, or are you here to work?" Her dimpled-smile grows.

"Both, Agnus. I can stay for a while, but I do have work to do soon."

"Yay!" She bounces on her heels and claps her hands. "So I've seen the human you… and I see what you mean, she's a real Sally-Sob-Story, isn't she?"

I grin at her, but don't answer verbally. "You said you would be here more often, Bella, but you haven't been here in months." She points an accusing finger at me while her other hand is clamped on her hip.

"You look like you've been spending far too much time around the teenage girls of today," I chuckle. "And I'm sorry, you know I don't get to choose where I go."

Her face scrunches up and her pointed finger somehow points at me with more accusation than before. "Don't give me that missy, I know you have free time."

I throw my hands up in surrender, "I'm sorry Agnus, really. It's just… hard being here."

Her face softens and her hands drop, "okay… I'll forgive you. Now, come!" She grabs my hand and yanks me through the walls at an incredibly fast pace, considering how small her legs are.

"To where?" I chuckle.

"Dr. Cullen has been asking endless questions about you and wants you to visit him."

I stop dead, stopping Agnus with me. "That's probably not a good idea, Agnus. With human me around… well, I'd hate to cause some kind of panic or something. Or worse, what if Edward reads his mind! I can't even think about the repercussions of that!"

She sighs heavily and rolls her eyes, "if it were against the rules, you wouldn't even be allowed, or even be allowed to be seen by them."

"While that's true, Agnus, there are still rules about causing turmoil."

She tsk's at me and shakes her head. "Bella, Bella, Bella. There is nothing you could possibly do to change any of these peoples courses."

I raise my eyebrow at her.

She smirks and half-shrugs, "Edward told me. Not Edward, but Edward."

"And… has Edward… spoken to anyone or done anything?"

She rolls her eyes, "it's Edward. Of course not! He came in, I pestered him for a while, he did his job and couldn't get out of here quick enough."

I purse my lips, and before I can react, she tugs me through the final wall where Dr. Cullen appears to be waiting for us.

"Er… I hope you didn't hear any of that."

He offers a small smile, "and how are you ladies today?"

"Great Doc," Agnus replies enthusiastically. "But I just remembered I left the stove on, so I've got to go. Bye, love you Bella," she pauses for a second with a smirk, "I mean Maree." And she disappears through the wall behind me.

Dr. Cullen barks a laugh, and moves to pull out a seat for me. I don't debate, Agnus' logic is sound, I do however wish for Dr. Cullen to keep my existence from earthly Edward.

"I know it's hard, Dr. Cullen, but to avoid unnecessary repercussions on my part, could I ask you to keep my existence a secret and out of your thoughts."

"Of course Bella, there was no question." I don't correct him with Maree, the situation is beyond that now. Rather than sitting in his office chair behind his desk, Dr. Cullen seats himself beside me in the second patient's chair.

"So… given the recent events around Forks, I am sure you have plenty of questions, so shoot."

I would never put myself in the firing line for this type of questioning, but Carlisle had earned my respect early on in our acquaintance. Any information I hold, will undoubtedly be wasted breath on anyone, but he alone.

"What are you, exactly?"

"Uh… right to it then. This is one of those things you can never un-hear and while you are literally the most calm, rational and understanding person I know, I'm not sure if you are ready for that one."

"Grave it must be, indeed then. I can only surmise, and reassure you I am ready for anything you may say, but I in no way wish to coax anything from you." He leans in a little and rests his elbows on his knees. I personally know vampires can stay in the one position for inordinate amounts of time, so it's either a calculated move or he has an internal timer set to which he moves to, to seem more human. "Is the human Bella, here, you?"

"I'm ashamed to say, yes."

"Ashamed?" His eyebrows shoot up.

I scoff, "you obviously don't know her well enough yet, then."

"Agnus really likes you, you know, she never stops talking about you."

Off the questioning then, I smile. "Yeah, I like Agnus too, she's one quirky kid."

"Creepy," Dr. Cullen adds, "don't forget creepy."

I chuckle, "How is Esme and the others? Doing well?"

He nods, "yeah… they're all doing well… still adjusting to the recent changes."

I nod, "Rosalie… yeah, she's a tough cookie to crack."

"She just… struggles with the life I chose for her." A solemn look crosses his face, the pain and turmoil apparent.

I sigh, and place my hand on his shoulder, allowing my touch to be felt. "You didn't ask the question, but I'm going to give you the information myself. Our courses may change, but the destination is always the same. If you didn't turn her, someone else would've."

He offers me a small smile, "thanks," though whether or not he believes me remains a mystery.

I recall my last conversation with Edward. "You know Dr. Cullen—"

"Please call me Carlisle."

I nod. "Carlisle, back when I was human, and I had not long found out what you were… Edward told me how he turned."

"He—"

I gesture for him to wait. "He said, he was dying of the Spanish Influenza, and his mother asked you to help him, and you did. He hates what you did to him, and so when we… when we were this…" I motion to myself with my free hand, "he tried to stop you. Successfully, I might add, so now tell me Carlisle, was it you who bit Edward to turn him."

His brow furrows, "I hear the truth in your voice, but no… I did not turn him." He places his hand on mine, the one that still rests on his shoulder. "It didn't work though… did it? He still hates me."

"Edward… Edward loves you and hates you, just as Rosalie does."

"So, no matter what we do, we still end up at the same place?"

I nod, "yes."

"How old are you, Bella?"

I laugh softly, "a lot older than you now."

"And… you are to turn?"

"Yes."

"Bella… is what you are because of vampirism?"

I nod, "it is a clause in the original contract made by the first vampire."

"And… are you stuck like this for eternity?"

"No, once my human-self dies, my time is done."

"And, do you go to heaven? Hell? Start over?"

"I… I start over."

His hand squeezes mine, "Oh, Bella." His eyes penetrate mine, conveying enough seriousness to match his tone. "You could be stuck in an infinite loop."

My eyes widen… how had I not thought of that?