A/N: I'm really sorry for the delayed. I've no excuse. My laptop was broken and my data's gone. I lost my interest to write for a while but still I know I have to finish what I start. So there you go, the second chapter. There will be 4 chapter total, but seeing my holiday were over and I will be busy I don't know how often I could write, we shall see.

As usual, sorry for any misspelling, grammar mistake, and character OOC, seeing I don't own gintama and English is not my mother language.

Disclaimer: the masterpiece called gintama belong to the great gorilla.

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Chapter 2: they said party is a best place to find romance, but that's bullshit anyway

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Theoretically, the party tonight was supposed to be the best party ever for a gorilla such as Isao Kondo.

Good food and sake, beautiful women specifically for you alone, friends liven up the part…

But, yah… what do you really expected from combination of yorozuya and shinsengumi anyway?

The food really is good, and plenty, but what can it do if it can't survive just for 5 minute (did we really have to ask why? Or maybe, who?). And not just that, but the lack of food makes the majority (all of it actually) of the shinsengumi officers to went to the kitchen to help cook. The remaining guest is actually quite liven up the party, if you count the nearly destroyed rooms (but really, what can you expected from yorozuya anyway?)

But afraid not. It won't hinder the party spirit of the gorilla. On the contrary, he actually quite enjoyed the party.

No matter what, the party were made just for him. Even if the majority (all) of the shinsengumi officers went to the kitchen, but still the remaining one in the room are his close friends and companions in arm. Yorozuya, Toshi, all came just for him, he nearly cried. The ruckus in the room actually help him forget the pain in his heart because of the rejection of his beloved Otae for how many times, even if it just a little.

Otae-san… still remained in his tiny brain of how her smile bloom in her face. How her kick in his ass still remained until now. How her stare like he is the lowest of the lowest in the entire universe make his heart beats abnormally. Everything still fresh in his memory like it just happened earlier this morning (or maybe because it did happened earlier this morning).

It seems there's no other women as perfect as Otae-san for his entire life in this universe. Otae-san in his eyes is just like the true Yamato Nadeshiko. Beautiful, graceful, you can't blame him for falling in love with such a perfect woman. But the most important thing, her compassion which help him for his adversity because of the hairs in his ass, make him learn to appreciate himself more, make him want to be a better man just for her.

'Ah…Otae-san…When will you ever accept my love for you…'

"Kondo-san. Here, let me poured you another sake."

Kondo could only looked at the beautiful woman beside him. Her face bowed down showing her beautiful skin on her nape, her face concentrated pouring him another sake looked really elegant. Zurako was indeed a beautiful woman, he give her that. Graceful, elegant, no wonder she is the number one cabaret girl in her workplace (at least that's what yorozuya said). Still…she's not Otae-san…

Zurako looked at her (his) client's face. "Ara, Kondo-san, Are you thinking about that woman who broke your heart?" Seeing his nervous face, Zurako could only chuckle. One hand hold Kondo's face gently while making him looked at the the eyes of this lovely young lady in front of him, with a gentle voice (and did he heard a hint of seductive voice?) he heard, "it's rude to think for another woman in the presence of a woman. At least, right now, just forget her and focus to me." Zurako smiled, making whoever watching their interaction blushed.

'Katsura-san! You're too deep in your acting!' But really, the only one who can hear the mind of this precious 18 years old virgin tsukomi are just God, author, and reader.

While the lady (man) keep getting closer to the blushing virgin gorilla, pressing his flat body and linked their hand.

"Ah! Not fair, Zurako! Why do you keep getting closer to the gorilla?!" said the only woman in the room. With such speed worthy of a Yato, she grab the other arm of the gorilla forcefully and mimicked her rival's actions, accidentally pressing her obviously not flat body to the gorilla. "Ne…Gorilla. Eat this fish! It's really good!"

Kondo could only sweat drop looking at the china girl beside him. Her excessive make up were just making her looked like clown, making everyone speechless, it's just that disgusting really. Plus, her service with her customer were rude and forceful. Still, her obviously bodacious body covered that flaw.

The gorilla could only blushed receiving that much attentions for such beautiful ladies (even if one is not looked that gorgeous right now. Speaking of which, he never knew that china girl have a feeling for him. Not that he mind, really (who are he kidding. Of course he mind! Their age gap! Kami-sama, he swear he's not a lolicon!)), but the most important thing is that there's women who want to consoled him right now in their own way, even if one is a flat chested and one looked like clown. Really, this is the best gift a virgin could ever receive, making him moved with the kindness of everyone in the room.

Dark aura suddenly infiltrate the atmosphere around the gorilla. Carefully he turned to the source of such an aura. A young man with sandy brown hair glared at him, making cold sweat poured from him. He's not a fool. He knew how his subordinate's feeling for the china girl of yorozuya. When they first met 2 years ago until now, they looked really happy playing around (fighting). Clearly this young man whom he considered his own son liked the china girl, love even. While it usually make him happy, seeing his own son has grown up, being an object of such jealousy from other man are still scary, especially from this man whose famous for being a sadistic prince.

A glare from the prince of planet sadist was enough, really. He really didn't need another glare from another man, especially if the said man is Hijikata Toshiro. He could see how his vice chief looked at him like he's enemy number one in his entire life, a look he never received from said man his entire life. Really he didn't expect he could see this kind of reaction from Toshi, Sougo yes, but clearly not Toshi. Yes. He knew what this glare mean, the graceful black haired beauty beside him. Again, he's not stupid. He could see the look in the vice chief's face when he first saw the woman, like she's his new prey, ready to strike, now if he could.

He proud of Toshi, really, he did, this stoic man could looked like that with other woman, especially since Mitsuba gone. He also proud of Sougo, this young man whom he considered his own son has grown up this fast. But come on….tonight is his night! Can't they give him this night just for once?

Gintoki who had been just eating, making him didn't realize the atmosphere of the party, said for the first time since he came to the party room. "Oi, gorilla! Congratulation for your 13.642 times of rejections!"

"It's not a thing to be congratulate about! Beside the number is wrong!" Megane said. "The correct number are supposed to be 2.967 times!"

"Err…Shinpachi-kun… it supposed to be 1.683 times." Mumble the Jimmy of shinsengumi.

"and you, Yamazaki-san. You supposed to be louder in this kind of situation. And you shouldn't said it with such hesitation, you would looked like you're inferior to them. No, it supposed to be like this…" Shinpachi take a deep breath…"IT SUPPOSED TO BE-"

"Gosh, you guys are loud. Your tsukomi are not important, just like your presence in this anime. Just looked at your popularity rank, really." Gintoki continue drinking his God know how many sake already. "Hee… at least the gorilla seems happy surrounded by such beautiful ladies. Great job, Kagura! Oi, oi, did you see my girl?" he said while nudge the vice chief beside him whose mood were already bad to begin with. "Ah.. too bad that gorilla woman are not here right now…"

"Gin-san, I don't know if you realized but IF THERE'S NO TSUKOMI LIKE US GINTAMA WON'T BE LIKE NOW! AND WHY DO YOU WANT THE PRESENCE OF THE ONE WHOM THIS PARTY ARE MADE BECAUSE? AND YOU PROUD FOR YOUR DAUGHTER SELLING HERSELF LIKE THAT?!"

"Don't mind it, Shinpachi-kun. You yourself see how drunk Danna is right now." Yamazaki said while biting his anpan. "That being said, why don't we played badminton outside. I don't know why but the atmosphere seems unpleasant right now."

Megane sighed. "We can't, Yamazaki-san. If we didn't stay who will became the tsukomi? It is our job to looked at them and reacted to the way it goes."

"Actually, Oogushi-kun here could became the tsukomi if you're gone, but clearly he busy ogling my daughter." Shiroyasha smirked, making the v bang shaped snorted. "Why in the hell name would I looked at a child clown like that? I haven't stoop that low, like someone beside me who could sell his own supposed daughter like that. If this is not a special day, I would have arrest you already for child prostitution."

Gintoki stood while knocked the table. "Did you just said my daughter is clown?! And child prostitution? No, no. You clearly are blind, Oogushi-kun, or maybe you took the sake too much. Looked at her, such a good girl sit beside the gorilla with such elegance." The perm haired guy continued drinking the sake. "Look how sweet she is today. I didn't realized she has already grown up like this, I'm so proud of her."

"Whatever." The vice chief poured himself another mayonnaise. There's many thing which is more important than a gushing drunk idiot, like…"Oi, woman. What's your name again… Zurako? Poured me another sake if you would?"

After looked at her (his) main client and with a nod of approval, Zurako moved to the new client and served him. "Don't forget to add the mayonnaise."

"Ah, Zurako-san. Please add this too in his sake." Said a deadpanned voice while bring out a bottle with skull on the table.

"Don't mind him." Said the v bang while grab Zurako's arm. "In fact, don't mind everyone else. Right now just focus on me."

Zurako blinked. "If you insist, sir…" She (he) then served this new client with such a manner like how a top cabaret lady supposed to do, you can't see even a tiny of a terrorist in him.

Toshi looked at this graceful young lady beside him. "You looked like you've used to do this."

Zurako smiled. "Of course. It's my job after all."

"Please tell me again, where do you usually work?"

"Ah.. I worked at the Oka-"

"She worked at my sister's place! Hahaha." Megane sweat drop. "She's the number one cabaret girl whose available only with request from high ranking man, if you wondering how you haven't see her around. Clearly she worked at such a good cabaret place, and clearly she didn't worked at Okama bar. After all, we give you such a genuine lady. Hahaha…" said the tsukomi nervously,

"Hmm.." the demon vice chief suddenly grab the lady's chin, looked at every corner of her (his) face, forced to meet his eyes from such a close gap. "You clearly are a beautiful lady. I'm sure you're popular among your client. Fact that Kondo-san happy with you are indicator enough that you good at your job."

"You flattered me, kind sir."

"I want to know you more." The gap were closer. "Why do you do this kind of job? Is it money? What about your family?"

"Ano..."

"Your dream? What about your friends? Do you have other job? How about –"

Gintoki smacked the back of the vice chief's head. "Oi, you clearly make her nervous. That's not how you're supposed to treat a lady."

"Hah? What do you know about woman? As far as I know you're also a virgin!"

"Stop! Gin-chan!" said the only woman in the room. Kagura suddenly grab Toshi's other hand. "I know you worried about me, Gin-chan. But Mayora here is my client. I need to entertain him because it's my job, even if he stink and reek of mayonnaise. That's why, just stop fighting, Gin-chan." Kagura winked seductively which failed epically, making everyone want to vomit. "Or if you want, I could entertain you later, Gin-chan. But wait for your turn." Kagura pressed her curvaceous body to her client broad chest. "don't you worry, Mayora. I will serve you well, better then that Zurako even. If you don't trust me just ask gorilla."

"O…oi! China musume!" the demon vice chief blushed looking at this girl with half his age pressing herself complete with her failed seductive gesture. 'What the hell's wrong with this girl?' "You…your chest…"

*brak* then silence, everyone looked at the captain of division one shinsengumi stood up while knocked the table, goose bump speechless when the captain walked crossing the room with such a dark aura surrounded him. Bang hide his eyes, he forcefully grab Kagura. "I want to talk to you outside."

"Hah? What do you want, sadist? Can't you see I'm busy right now? O..oi! don't pull me you chihuahua!"

Everyone just looked at the scene quietly at the duo sadist exited the room. Kondo-san shedding tears full of his proud looking at the boy… no… a man. 'Toshi…did you see…our son has already grown up...' ("Yes. Of course I see it, we're in the same room after all! And who the hell do you called our son?" said Toshi.) "Ah. Come on, everyone. Don't be shy. Let's just continue the party."

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"Oi you punk. Where do you think you take me anyway? Oi! Are you deaf or perhaps mute? Answer me!"

Okita just kept drag her until they arrived at the pond. Without any hesitation at all he toss the Yato into the pond.

"OI! ARE YOU PICKING A FIGHT?"

"Clear your make up. Did you looked at the mirror before you go? Ugly pig, even if it put on a make up as thick as it could, the fact still remained that it's an ugly pig. Get it?" said the sandy brown haired deadpanned.

A vein popped at her temple. With a speed worthy of a Yato, she drag the sadistic prince down to the pond. "Then you smoother your wrinkled face, you punk chihuahua! Even in the party you put on a face like that, making the atmosphere uncomfortable. Get it?" She then went out of the pond and headed back to the party.

A griped hand make the Yato stop, immediately she snap. "What the hell do you want now, you sadist? I've put that make up hours before you ruined it, how the hell do I continue entertained them without it?!"

"Well you just have to stop entertained them, don't you?" The sadist snap. "Just tell me the truth, China. What makes you act like this? This is not you, you know it."

"Haah?" Kagura glared. "I don't understand what you're talking about."

"I know have a brain of a shrimp, China, but please, try to evolve that brain of yours to the size of a proper mammal." Okita sighed. "You looked pathetic doing all that, you know? Entertained old men in the party. Don't you ever do that again, you hear me? It's disgusting."

Kagura kept glaring, making Okita continued, "why do you even do it in the first place anyway?"

"I've told you, I want to try to have a job like Tsuky and Anego."

"You would've give up the moment Danna forbade you." Okita kept his infamous deadpanned stare at the girl. "I'm not stupid, China. I know there's something happened."

Kagura kept the intensity of her glaring. "It's not your business. Beside, you don't care anyway." Kagura shrugged the grip in her arm and then walked away.

Okita immediately continue griped her hand. "I care."

Realizing what did he just said, Okita widening his eyes and put down his hand, while the Yato also widened her eyes hearing what she just heard. He immediately try to find a word to evade his confession, because really, now is just not the time yet. "No matter what, you're my rival. I won't be satisfied if I beat you when you're down like this. Anyway, you could even make it an excuse."

For a moment there's hesitation in the Yato's eyes. In front of her is the sadist, her annoying rival who kept looking for an opportunity to beat her. There's no way he shown his weakness to her, and vice versa (beside, maybe the sadist did lie to her to make an opening out of her).

Okita sighed. "Is it because of danna?"

Looking at the girl's blush, Okita knew immediately that he was right. Besides, the girl in front of him is an easy-to-read type of people. His knuckle turned white. 'Danna, danna. Always danna.'

Feeling useless to hide it anymore, Kagura started to talk. "I... I just want to make Gin-chan see me as an adult woman. I've already 16, my chest are also big enough." She graped her boobs while pouting, making the sadistic prince blushed.

"So, it's really true, then. You like danna?" It felt like someone squeezed his heart. It hurt just thinking about it, because he knew he can't win against danna.

"Of course I like him." Kagura smiled widely, stab his heart with her innocent word, even if he could barely masked the hurt. "Also Shinpachi, anego, and everyone." Oke, he didn't really expected this kind of answer, but yeah… maybe he did expected China to answer like this. "I just want to be seen as an adult already. I want to show them that I can make my own money, helping the yorozuya further. So when you gave us that request, I really want to do it. I know I can do it, seeing I'm a woman and sometimes I looked at how anego and Tsuky worked." Kagura pouted. "But Gin-chan forbade me. He still saw me as a 14 years old brat with no skill other than her abnormal strength and appetite."

Okita sighed. "Your brain really is a size of a shrimp." Without paying attention to the red faced China girl, he continued. "Of course danna see that 14 years old brat in you, he always will." Looking at the dejected face of Kagura, he added, "because no matter what, he saw you as his own daughter."

Kagura widened her eyes. "A father, in the depth of his heart, no matter how many times has passed, he would still see his own kid as a brat." Okita sighed. "Of course danna forbade you. No father want to make his own daughter work like that. Try to put your shoes in his place for once, will you?"

Okita looked at his rival, she seems to understood already judging for her expression. 'Yah, I guess she understood already'. Feeling that his job were done, he headed back to the party room.

"Sadist!"

Looked at her rival eyes, Kagura takes a deep breath and said, "Thank you."

The sadist just nod

"And besides, I've tried it, you know. Gin-chan's shoes. His were bigger than mine, obviously." She said while smirking.

With a wave of his hand the sadist headed back to the party. "You should learned to take more care of your body, China."

Kagura could only stare at her rival's broad shoulder.

"Because someday that body will be mine."

Kagura widened her eyes. What was that? Did she hear right? Sadist really said that?

That punk, how dare he! Did he really said that he will make her his slave?!

"SADIST TEME! STOP!"

And in the middle of the night, a clash of sword and umbrella could be heard at the shinsengumi yard.

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In the party room, Isao Kondo, the star tonight, was lonely. His cabaret lady serves other man, his guests were talking with each other forgetting him. A drop of tear fall from his eyes. 'I… I just want to became the main character for once. Popular, loved by the ladies, is it wrong?'

"Do you know how the jimmies like us became more popular, Shinpachi-kun?"

His drunken subordinate interested the gorilla. "We just have to be involved with our friend's love stories. Usually, love rival were highlighted and if we help the couple we at least get some spotlight."

Kondo was surprised. Love rival… no way. His love was for Otae-san and Otae-san alone. 'But maybe I could help someone's love journey. Besides, it would help my image from being a gorilla to became… yah, at least a caring gorilla?'

Looking around, the only couple he could see are is his vice chief and the cabaret lady. He immediately execute his plan. 'Hmm… how to get them became closer… ' Gorilla stand up. "Zurako-san. Do you have a boyfriend?"

Everyone stop their activities, looking a gorilla in the middle of the room going nuts. Maybe he was drunk? Who know what goes in gorilla head anyway…

"Ano… or maybe you have someone on your mind? Maybe someone with… well… a guy with v bang, black haired, and good job?"

Zurako goes quiet. Someone on his mind? A widow and ramen pop up in his head.

"What do you think about our Toshi? He's a great guy. Respectable guy, and…"

"O… oi!"

"I have someone I always think about actually." Everyone goes quiet. Only a clash of umbrella and sword were heard outside. "She is the most amazing person I've ever met."

"She?"

"She -"

"She is Gin-san!" the megane quickly pushed the shiroyasha until he collide with the cabaret lady. Gintoki paled looking around the room. He's not an idiot (he is actually). He knew why patsuan did it. After all, if they let Zurako kept talking, not only Zurako was exposed, but Ikumatsu could also be involved. Yes, he understand… what he doesn't understand is that WHY SHOULD IT BE HIM?

Looking at everyone eyes laid upon him, Gintoki could only laugh nervously while looking for an excuse. "Ah… she called me a she earlier because… ah… she sees me as a woman?" he nervously look at everyone's do-you-really-think-we-would-believed-that-kind-of-excuse eyes. He looked at patsuan searching for help, but the tsukomi could only stare him back nervously. 'DAMN THAT USELESS GLASSES!' "She sees me as a woman because… ano… because… yes! I know! She sees me as a woman because that's how she sees me for the first time!"

"Explain, yorozuya!"

Cold sweat poured from his body looking at the infamous glare of the demon vice chief of shinsengumi. "Ano… remember the incident when we switched gender? That's when we met for the first time. She still kept calling me like that. Geez, you know, some kind of new foreplay? Hahaha… "

"Gintoki? What are you talking about? You forgot? We –"

'SHUT UP YOU ZURA!' "Ah… if you still didn't believe me… I… WE ACTUALLY ARE GOING TO BE MARIED SOON!"

*prang* a glass broke out from falling. For a moment Gintoki looked at patsuan, his face paled like he nearly fainted. Everyone in the room looked with such shocked face, nobody dare giving his comment, that is, until one voice rang through the silenced room.

"Danna, you shouldn't told us such good news in the middle of a gloomed theme party like this one."

"That's right, yorozuya. Think about my feeling –"

"THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT!" Ah. After a long damn time the vice chief giving his tsukomi. For a moment he glared at the ahemhappyahem couple while said "proved it."

"Wh..what, Oogushi-kun? I don't think I've heard you the first time. Hahaha."

"Proved it that she's your girlfriend, fiancée even." Hijikata glared at the shiroyasha. "Kiss her."

Everyone goes quiet. "Wha… kiss?! You want me to kiss her?!"

"Why? You can't do it?" the vice chief smirked. "You guys are engage, even implied that you guys sometimes do it, and you haven't even kissed yet?"

"We… we kissed!" Gintoki paled. "We kissed every day! Watch this!" he forcefully grab Zurako's cheek. His face getting closer… Gintoki's complexion really pale… Shinpachi was really near fainted, Yamazaki had to hold him. 'Shinpachi-kun… are you this virgin you can't even looked at kisses from a couple?'

Their breath mingle with each other. Cold sweat poured down from Gintoki's face. The gap were getting closer… 'Good bye, my pride.' Their lip nearly touched while a force separated them. Gintoki could only widened his eyes confuse of what the hell's happening.

"Wh… what…"

"He hadn't being engage with anyone, especially with this slut. No, I won't believe it."

Gintoki popped his eyes when he felt someone hug him. He looked at the body. That voice… that hair… oh no.

Why the hell does the situation became complicated like this?

"Because actually… I'M THE ONE WHO'S GETTING MARRIED WITH GIN-SAN!"

"SA-CHAN?!"