Authors Notes: Hey! This one I made a bit more serious (a lot more) since I'm in a more serious mood. I want to say thank you to Sai-ryo Aura Feana because she is awesome and left me the only review for my other fanfic "Twilight Paths" that all you readers should go read/has no shame for selfless advertisement/
Disclaimer: Characters property of Square Enix and Disney
His room seemed uncomfortable and extremely cold. He tossed and turned on his bed, he couldn't stop thinking about him. Riku still had issues with his new found sexuality, but when ever he was with Sora his insecurities went away. He sat up, his blanket over his shoulder looking around noticing the clock on his night stand. In big red numbers said '11:00 AM' , Riku plopped back down on his bed, he was still tired, felt like crap, and just wanted to be depressed all day.
"Hey Riku!" a voice came from outside, he heard tiny rocks hit his window.
"Riku, get up, you promised!" the voice continued
"Get your cute ass up!" Riku looked outside; Sora was standing under his window with a great big grin on his face and a hand full of tiny rocks.
"What the hell are you doing? You're going to break my window!" He frowned, looking down at the brunet haired boy.
"Aw come on, you said you would take me to the park!" Sora whined looking up at him with his big puppy dog eyes.
Riku sighed shaking his head; he looked back at his bed and back at Sora. The thought of sulking in his room seem like a good idea, but then again disappointing Sora would make him depressed even more. He sighed loudly, "Fine, just come in and wait on the couch" he closed his window and rummaged through his clothes thrown all over the room.
Sora walked in looking around in amazement. His house was huge, he walked up to the couch and sat down staring at his family pictures, "Let me take a real quick shower, just sit tight" Riku yell from his room, running into the shower.
Sora crept up the stair case listening to the muscular, silver haired teen get in the shower. He walked past the bathroom and spotted Riku's door wide open and slowly walked inside.
"What a mess!" he whispered quietly looking at clothes scattered all over the room, books and papers cluttering his desk, and his bed not even made! He looked up at the posters on the wall and a picture of him and Riku on the nightstand. He smiled as his heart seemed to float out of his chest. Sora has always thought of Riku as a brother growing up, but from their time apart traveling worlds he realized he had a new feeling for him.
Sora picked up a green covered book and opened. He saw a cute drawing of him and Riku on the cover with the words "R + S" under it, smiling at the fact that he remembered their first kiss. Sora flipped the page and noticed a little poem and what looked like a journal entry under it. He sat back and began to read it:
My heart is dark and my light has gone,
But he makes me feel complete. This feeling
Of sadness haunts my sleep and dreams but
With him it all goes away. For he is the only one
I love, my only forbidden love.
I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel a complete sadness over me lately; I know it has to do with my sexuality. I look at Sora and it all seems to go away, I feel right with him, I feel like I can be myself and don't have to hide behind doors. Why? Why does it have to be like this, why do I love my best friend? It's not natural, it's not accepted, but why does it feel so right? I lay on my bed at night crying. I don't want to feel sadness and rejection, I want to be accepted for who I am but I'm not. I wish I never came out like this, loving my best friend, another boy. Sometimes it's hard to put on a tough exterior, I'm not always like that but I need to stay strong for Sora, I need to be there for him. I just wish I could sleep, just sleep for ever and never wake up, but I know if I did I would never be able to love Sora the way I do. I just want to feel happy again, but I won't……
Sora stopped reading and sat their, his eyes watery, getting tear drops on the book. Riku walked in with a towel wrapped around his waist and stood at the door way looking at him. Sora just sat their dazed, not even realizing his silver haired friends was at the door.
Sora's mind raced threw what he just read; he never knew Riku's true feelings until now. He has always thought Riku was stronger than him, he never knew Riku was depressed or sad. His heart ached with every word he read, all he wanted was Riku to be happy and to accept who he was. He knew it was hard, he couldn't deny that, after his first kiss his own world seemed to turn upside down, but not like this. Sora sat their, his face in his hand as tears streamed out threw his fingers.
"A hem…"
"Riku…! Oh um…"
Sora franticly jumped up dropping the book on the floor. Riku walked to the bed and sat down, patting the space next to him telling Sora to sit. Sora sat next to him uneasy about what Riku would do next. Riku let out a long sigh and looked at Sora.
"You're not mad...?
"No, not really"
"I'm so sorry Riku I didn't mean…" Riku stopped Sora talking and looked at him; his green eyes seem sad and empty, telling Sora to just comfort him.
"How much of it did you read…?"
"Riku…"
"How much…?" Riku firmly said; Sora looked down at hands "Enough…"
Riku softly chuckled trying to hide his emotions behind a fake smile. He looked at him with his empty eyes and fake smile softly saying, "Looks like we're going to miss the park if we don't leave soon."
"But Riku…"
Sora leaned over and put a hand on his shoulders, Riku was slumped over resting his head on his hands, trying to force the tears back.
"I'm sorry Sora" Riku cried out rubbing his eyes
"Sorry for what…?"
"That I can't be as strong as I once was…" tears slowly came down, his damped hair covering his face.
"I'm so confused…"
Sora moved in closer beside him and put his arms around Riku resting his head on his shoulders. Riku looked at the boy; he wiped his tears off and embraced him, laying his head on his lap.
"Riku, you don't need to feel sorry for anything" He said tenderly stroking the silver hair on his lap. He smiled as his heart seemed to flutter, this boy loved him and that's all that mattered to him. He didn't care that Riku couldn't be "strong" for him, all he cared was that the one he loved was happy. "I love you so much…"
Riku looked up his eyes all swelled up from his tears, "You make me feel like I'm loved, like I'm somebody" he buried his face back on his lap
"I love you Sora, please don't ever leave me, not today" Sora nodded and lay back on the bed with Riku in his arms, together they embraced one another from what seemed like forever. Their love seemed to grow more intimate and their relationship grew stronger.
Sora looked at Riku and started to softly laugh, gradually getting louder.
"Riku, you do realize you only have a towel on" he looked down and pointed at the towel still wrapped around the muscular teen's waist. Riku chuckled a bit and looked at Sora with pure passion in his eyes
"Just lie here with me, for a little longer"
The two lied back on the bed, Riku's head on Sora's chest with his arms around the boy. Both of them couldn't ask for anything better in the world. They were in paradise.
"I love you Sora…"
"I know…"
Authors Note: I hope it wasn't OOC too much, I just tried to show a more sensitive side that Riku hardly ever shows. And reader don't forget to check out "Twilight Paths" and give me some ideas for another chapter! I also notice Riku and Sora say i love you alot, it that a bit redundent?
