Hello! Thank you for sticking with me through this long break. I've been suffering through a bad bout of writers block/melancholy. I hope you enjoy the update leave,
A big thanks to my bestie beta CLLOW82 for sticking with me and editing this for me.
Friday is the start of Sheldon's vacation. Normally he detests taking breaks from his work. When he was young he used to try and sneak back into the school during summer break. Unwilling to let his education be over for three whole months. Even when he entered college he hated spring and summer break. In fact he rarely took a summer one, opting to stay for summer sessions and further his education. Besides he hated going home, he found the solitude of the emptied campus preferable to a summer of sitting idle amongst idiots. This would be the first break he had taken in a long time.
Sheldon needs it because at twenty-three he already feels like he is at a crossroads. He has reached the all his goals. Gotten all the degrees he sought to get. Doing exactly what he thought he wanted to be doing. Only he hates it. It is said that teaching is a career of passion. While he is passionate about physics. He abhors his students. He can tell that they feel the same way about him.
He knows for certain that he will not be here next year. It is figuring out where he wants to go next that he can't decide on. Rice University has just offered him a research position. It's a tempting offer. One that would put him back exactly where he started. In a place he never felt like he belonged. They want him to make a decision quickly. He feels like he has no one to discuss it with. If he tells his mother she will be on her knees begging him to accept the position, he knows how much she worries about him being so far from home.
The job he really wants is the one at Caltech. A job that will take him across country. His mother won't like that one bit. He can already hear her begging him not to go. Berating him with all the evils of the heathen state that is California. That alone might be enough to make him reconsider Caltech. The bigger reason is, he has yet to hear back from them. Refusing Rice now hoping to hear from Caltech later. Would be what his Meemaw called "counting his chickens before they hatched."
Sheldon can't help but feel that Caltech is where he belonged. If he believed in such things he would say it was his destiny. He didn't believe in destiny however. Instead he chose to believe that all of his very specific requirements would be met there. He had researched the school extensively. It had the perfect climate, not too hot, or too cold. Their research methodologies were top notch. It just seemed like where he should be. Where he might finally be happy.
Sheldon wants to talk it over with someone. He wished he had someone he could talk to. His mother was so proud of him for working at Harvard. His Meemaw wanted him to stay at least on the same coast as her. His brother and sister wouldn't care. Sheldon felt like he had no one else to talk to about it.
For a second he considers calling Miss Fowler. She would be the kind of person who could offer sound advice. The only thing stopping Sheldon is that he has vowed to himself, that he would not think about Amy all weekend. He showed poor enough judgement by inviting her to join him for a beverage. As a Professor he should not be fraternizing with the students. He thinks back to his interview for the position.
"I am thoroughly impressed with your academics Dr. Cooper. I think you would be an excellent addition to our institution however your age has me second guessing myself." The President said to him looking at him over his glasses.
"I have more of an education than most people twice my age. If its experience you're worried about I have been working as a TA at Rice since I received my first PhD at sixteen." Sheldon told him. "I have the reference right here."
"No, I saw that. Dr. Cooper… Here at Harvard we hold ourselves to a higher standard. We won't tolerate any shall we say impropriety between our staff and the students. Seeing as though you're the same age as many of our grad students. The concern is that you will not be able to make that separation." Sheldon was shocked. He supposed some in his position might use it as an excuse to flex their power over young impressionable minds. Sheldon had no desire to try and woo students.
"I assure you. I have no desire to mingle with the co-eds. I had no desire to mingle with the co-eds when I was in college. My focus will be entirely on my work and nothing else. You can expect no impropriety from me." Sheldon assured him and the President looked sufficiently mollified.
"I'll take you at your word Dr. Cooper. Welcome to our faculty."
Now here he was nearly a year after that initial interview and he found himself going back on his words. He was actively seeking the company of one of the schools students. Miss Fowler not being his own student is how he is justifying the possible dinner they might share. That and the fact he did not directly invite her to a dinner. He simply told her where he would be. If she happened to show up, well who was he to tell a student where she could and couldn't dine.
For the first time, in a long time, maybe in his entire life. Sheldon doesn't want to think. There is so much looming over his head. That he just wants to run away from it all. So he goes to the store and stocks up on food and supplies. All his favorite things he usually only has in moderation. Red vines, oreos, kool-aid, all the foods of his short childhood. Then when he gets home he starts up his game. There is a quest that he has been wanting to start, but he hasn't had the time. Now is the perfect time to start.
"Sheldor the Conqueror is online." he announces into his headset.
"Wolowizard is online." one of his teammates announces. Sheldon has played with Wolowizard on his team several times. He is glad to see that he is on his team again.
"Are you ready to begin the quest." he asks into the microphone.
"I was born ready." Wolowizard announces and he hears him cracking his knuckles into the microphone. Sheldon winces at the sound but doesn't say anything.
"You can't be born ready. I doubt you were born with a laptop in your hand. If you were I feel sorry for your mother. Or proud of her because if you were you were also a time traveller."
"It's been so long since I played with you. I forgot what an asshole you could be." Wolowizard groans in exasperation.
"Language!" Sheldon yells at him annoyed. "We're playing barbarians, we don't have to act like them."
"We're barbarians! Woo!" he yells and Sheldon sighs.
"Woo, indeed!" he agrees as he lets his brain let go and immerse itself into the fantasy world on his screen. It feels like it's been ages since he's just let loose and done something fun just for himself. They defeat the first quest easily.
"Shall we go to yon tavern and celebrate our victory with a flagon of mead?" Wolowizard asks him.
"Why not." Sheldon sighs.
"There's a hot sorceress chick I've been wanting to meet up with. Maybe she'll be there?" Wolowizard says hopefully as they trek into the town square.
"Is that all you ever think about?" Sheldon gripes. This wasn't the first time he had interrupted their gaming to try and meet up with virtual women. "Besides you don't even know if they're an actual woman. It could be some guy playing as a woman." he reminds him.
"It's still the closest I'll get to a woman tonight." Wolowizard sighs and he sounds depressed. "How about you? Do you have any girls in your life?" he asks Sheldon and it catches him off guard. It's the only time he has ever asked him anything personal. Their friendship wasn't like that. They were friends for the sake of the game. They knew nothing of each other's lives outside of it. Still when he asks the image of the alluring Miss Fowler pops into his mind.
"Of course not." he says instead walking into the virtual bar. "I'm a academic I have no time for romance. Now let's get back to the task at hand."
Sheldon ends up staying up all night playing the game. They finish the quest in the early morning hours. Just as the sun is peeking up over the horizon. After he signs off he looks at the mess around him. He really should clean up. Instead he sinks onto his small couch and covers himself up with a blanket and sleeps. It's a deep pleasant sleep filled with dreams about a girl with dark brown hair and flashing green eyes. He sleeps so long that by the time he wakes up the sun is getting ready to set again.
"I lost an entire day." he murmurs to himself as he sits up.
He cleans up the mess around him. Then he goes to the bathroom and takes a shower and brushes his teeth. When he's out he goes back to the living room and picks up his laptop. He checks his emails and finds that he is disappointed that Amy hasn't sent him anything all weekend. He toys with the idea of sending her an email, but what would he say? Stayed up all night playing a video game so I wouldn't think about you. It worked but then, I dreamt about you all day long? That hardly seemed appropriate. Besides he would see her again tomorrow. He could wait that long.
Amy
All weekend long Amy contemplates Professor Cooper's meaning. In inviting her to a clandestine dinner. She alternates between thinking that he did not mean to invite her at all. He was just informing her to his eating habits. To being very excited about the dinner. Amy wonders if it can be considered a date, Never being on a date before she has no idea what to expect. Or what she should wear. She spends a lot of time dressing up in front of her mirror. Repeatedly frustrated with the result. The business suit she bought for presenting in class was much too formal. The swingy purple dress she found at a local thrift shop and wore once to a student mixer, was too showy. In the end she decides on her normal attire. A khaki skirt paired with a green blouse and brown sweater vest.
The restaurant is within walking distance from the campus. The entire trek over her stomach is churning. She doubts that she'll be able to eat a bite of food. What if she shows up and he's not there? What if he acts like she is crazy for showing up. What if he has another girl with him and she has misread the entire situation? By the time she reaches the place she has convinced herself to turn back. Then she looks into the window and sees Dr. Cooper sitting alone in a booth. He checks his watch and looks at the door almost expectantly. It is enough of a boost to encourage her to walk through the door. He sees her walk through and she is rewarded with his lopsided grin.
The restaurant small, filled with black lacquer tables covered with red tablecloths. Sheldon is sitting at one of the few booths. It's seat yourself and she slides into the opposite side of the booth to face him. He greets her with a smug expression, like he knew she was going to show up any minute.
"Good evening Professor Cooper." she greets him.
"Schools not in session, no need for formalities. Please call me Sheldon." he tells her. "Currently I am taking a break from being a professor."
"Okay. So how are you this evening Sheldon?" she says stifling a giggle it feels funny saying his name. She remembers her study group friends making fun of his uncommon moniker. 'It just sounds like a name a stuffy professor would have. How would his parents know that's what he would be?' Amanda had asked. Amy thought his name was wonderful.
"Very well, how was your weekend?" he asks politely.
"Productive." Amy tells him and he nods.
"Mine as well. I beat a rather challenging quest on Age of Conan." he says proudly.
"Age of what?" she asks him confused.
"Conan, it's a strategic game played online." he clarifies.
"I see..."Amy is slightly taken aback that wasn't the kind of productivity she expected from a professor at an institute of higher learning. Though she supposes that he is still a young man. A young man without many responsibilities for a week.
"With just a few weeks until I present my thesis. I mostly spent the weekend perfecting it. Although I don't ever think it will be perfect to me. I feel like there is going to always be something left to learn, to add. I tend to be highly critical of myself." Then her cheeks color, she has revealed too much. Not being around people that often Amy always found herself over sharing when she was in conversations. Amy picks up her menu to hide her blush.
"We can't have full knowledge all at once. We must start by believing; then afterwards we may be led on to master the evidence for ourselves." he quotes and looks at her in a challenging way, as if daring her to place it.
"Thomas Aquinas." she says quickly and he looks mollified. It was as if he was giving her a pop quiz and she just passed it. "On break from being a professor indeed", she thinks before changing the subject. "It's nice to be eating out. Usually it's a reheated meal for one at my apartment." she tells him.
"You can eat out alone. I do it every night! You're the first person to join me in a meal since I moved here." he says and Amy wants to expand on that. But the waiter chooses that moment to walk over. The man gives them a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes. He looks almost weary at the sight of Sheldon like he expects him to be difficult.
"Back again! I've seen you every Monday for the last four months. Never a friend. Now you bring a friend! That's good to see!" the waiter comments with a hint of sarcasm. "The usual for you." he says and Sheldon nods and hands him his menu."And for the lady?" he asks taking out a pad.
"Pad thai, please." Amy says, sticking with the classics.
"And an order of potstickers." Sheldon adds and the waiter looks at him shocked. " I can finally order them now that I have a guest and they can be split evenly." he says and the waiter nods.
"No special instructions? No questions about the quality of our cooking oil? No, lecturing me on my own culture?" The waiter asks raising an eyebrow.
"No." Sheldon says shortly.
"Very good, it will be right out." then as he turns to leave he pats Amy on the shoulder and bends down to whisper in her ear. "Eat with him every Monday from now on, okay?" he says before walking briskly away. Amy looks after him mystified before turning her attention back to Sheldon.
"You really eat here every Monday?" Amy asks amused.
"Yes, Thai every Monday here, then Tangerine Chicken at Panda East on Tuesdays, a hamburger at The Cheesecake Factory on Wednesday, Pizza on Thursdays…" he rambles before she interrupts.
"How do you stay so thin eating all that junk?" Amy laughs and he looks at her curiously.
"I've just always been thin. Also I don't eat junk every night. I make myself a sandwich on the weekends. Most people comment on me eating the same thing every week." Sheldon mutters.
"That, I understand. On Sundays I cook my meals for the week and I make the same thing for each day every week." she shares.
"You only cook on Sundays?" he asks.
"Well with school taking up so much of my time. Sundays are my only day to myself. So I spent it preparing for the week. In case I get caught up in something." Amy shrugs.
"That's being very prepared." he notes, sounding pleased.
"I like being prepared." she smiles.
"As do I, I detest surprises." he tells her and she nods her head. Just as the waiter returns with their food and leaves as quickly as he came.
They seem to have much in common. Amy wants to bombard him with questions. To know everything about him. Only she doesn't know where to start. What might be deemed too personal? They had conversed so easily in the bookstore. There had been less pressure there. Now it felt like every word would have meaning. Like she was interviewing for a position she wanted. The position of what she didn't know. Friend? Intellectual peer? If she was being honest with herself she wanted much more than that.
"You shouldn't be worried about your thesis by the way. It's brilliant, and that's not a compliment I use often or lightly. I'm not normally a fan of the human sciences, and I found myself fascinated." Sheldon says breaking the silence.
"Thank you, it's mostly the presenting of it that has me worked up. I know my research is solid. That my paper is eloquent. It's just that, sometimes I freeze up in front of people." Amy sighs.
"Another thing we share. I find it very hard to teach my classes if I stare out into the masses too much. I spend most of the time teaching to the blackboard. However I can offer my assistance. If you think presenting to me first will help." he offers before taking his share of potstickers.
"I think it will, you've presented to the board before so I could use any advice you could offer." she replies gratefully.
"I'd be happy to help. Perhaps after the our meal you can come to my classroom. Give a mock presentation and I can give you a few pointers." he suggests.
"Tonight?" Amy gulps.
"Why not?" he shrugs.
"I didn't bring any of my materials with me." Amy tells him.
"So we can stop by your place and gather them. Do you live on campus?" he asks and she shakes her head.
"I have an apartment this year. It's not far from here." she says shakily.
"Let's go then." he says grabbing the check and standing up. He surprises her by footing the bill, If he's paying for her meal than it's definitely a date she thinks nervously.
When they exit the restaurant Amy points them in the direction of her apartment. The night is pleasantly warm but she is still shivering. They walk close together, their arms almost touching. Amy keeps her eyes straight ahead but she can tell he keeps sneaking glances at her and it's starting to make her nervous. Like maybe she has food in her hair. She brushes her hands through it just to make sure. His steady blue gaze is starting to unnerve her. He licks his lips and her eyes follow his tongue with interest.
"I was fascinated by your take on the way we store and process our memories." he tells her. "Having an eidetic memory the subject has always interested me." he blurts out.
"I'm fascinated by your eidetic memory. Do you really remember everything?" she asks and he nods.
"Yes, since I was a young child."
"What's your earliest memory? If you don't mind me asking." she asks him and he looks thoughtful as they walk.
"Not at all. In my earliest memory, I'm in my crib, I'm looking up at my mobile, Winnie The Pooh, and I want it to move but It won't. I reach out my hand to make it move. I can't reach. So I cry out and wake my twin sister who starts crying in earnest. My mother rushes in and picks up my sister and restarts my mobile. Only now I'm upset I wasn't picked up as well. So I start crying. My mother picks me up and rocks us both in a big rocking chair." he looks wistful.
"I don't know what part of that is the most adorable." Amy teases him and he smiles at her. "It's interesting, that is one of the earliest memories I've ever heard of. Although there are some recorded instances of people remembering their own births."
"I am glad I can't remember back that far." he says shuddering and making a face that causes Amy to giggle. "What's your earliest memory?" he asks and Amy thinks.
"I'm three, and I want my preschool teacher Miss Applebaum to put on Clair de Lune. It's played on the harp and I just love it. She only plays it for naptime, and it's not naptime. There is some dreadful children's music playing and I hate it, it hurts my ears. The teacher is busy though and doesn't hear me ask. So I take it upon myself to change the record. She catches me and is very upset. I get put in timeout. It was he first and last time I ever got in trouble with a teacher." They both laugh at that.
"So you have a bit of a rebellious streak?" he asks and Amy laughs.
"I think that was the most rebellious thing I have ever done." she jokes as they approach her building. "This is it. You can stay here if you like. I won't take long."
"I can come up. I'm unfamiliar with the neighborhood. I'd rather not linger on the streets alone." he says looking around nervously.
"Yeah, sure come on up." Amy says feeling nervous as she opens the door to the building's lobby. He follows her to the elevator. When the doors close Amy is acutely aware of how close they are, their shoulders almost touching. Amy feels like she can barely breath.
Too quickly the ride comes to an end. Stopping on the third floor. Amy gets out and Sheldon follows her down the carpeted hall. The door on the left opens and Mrs. Hamilton her neighbor emerges. She quite likes Mrs. Hamilton, an ebullient octogenarian who often invites her over for tea and conversation. Amy has long suspected that Mrs. Hamilton feels bad for her and her lack of a social life. She's always telling Amy about all the gentleman callers she had at her age. How a pretty girl like her should be out dancing every night instead of sipping tea and talking books with an eighty year old woman. Amy has also long suspected that Mrs. Hamilton needed her bifocals adjusted.
"Why hello Amy! I was just going out to play bingo. I stopped by to see if you wanted to come with me earlier."
"Thank you Mrs. Hamilton but I've got company tonight." Amy tells her politely. "This is my friend Dr. Cooper." she says introducing Sheldon. Then she turns crimson. Was he a friend? Was that too personal a moniker for him at this stage of their budding relationship?
"Pleased to meet you." Sheldon says to Mrs. Hamilton shaking her plump hand politely.
"Well I must be going. You two have fun." she says and then as Sheldon turns away she swats Amy and mouths "He's cute!" and gives her the thumbs up before walking away. Leaving Amy bright red and hoping Sheldon didn't notice.
"It's this one." Amy tells him walking to the end of the hall and unlocking the door to her small apartment. Dr. Cooper is the first man she has ever had in her apartment. His sheer maleness seems to overwhelm the small space. He looks all around like he is committing the place to memory. "Make yourself comfortable." Sheldon sits down on her small couch. His long legs knocking against the scuffed coffee table. "Would you like a beverage?" she asks politely.
"What have you got?" he asks picking up a book on her table and thumbing through it.
"Tea, milk, yoohoo?" she says looking into the refrigerator.
"Yoohoo please." he says and Amy takes out a bottle and hands it to him. He sips it thoughtfully as she walks around her apartment gathering her things. "How long have you been here? In this apartment."
"Just this semester. It's just a year lease for a furnished apartment. All I need since I'm almost done and going home." she replies as she stuffs a laptop and folders into her bag.
"Are you happy you're going home?" he asks thinking about his current predicament.
"I'm ambivalent at best." Amy sighs. Truth be told she is not particularly looking forward to going back to California and being under her mother's thumb again. However she also wasn't sure about putting down roots in Boston. Also her grandmother was ailing and she wanted to be close to her for as long as she had left.
"Then why not stay here?" he asks and she shrugs.
"I've been here four years and it still doesn't feel like home." she says truthfully surprised at her own candor. She's admitting things to him she hadn't even admitted to herself.
"I know the feeling." he says. "Of course I spent 21 years in Texas and that never felt like home either." he says and there is a melancholy to her voice that tugs at her heart. She wants to sit next to him on the couch. To wrap her arm around him and tell him that they could be each other's home. That when she is with him she feels more comfortable and at ease than she's ever felt with anyone. Instead. Overwhelmed with emotions she doesn't fully understand she walks to her door.
"I've got my stuff, shall we go?" she asks.
Sheldon
He unlocks the door to his classroom and she follows him inside. It's dark inside and he flips on the lights. He's never been in his classroom at night and feels there is something naughty about it. He's breaking the rules, and it's oddly titillating. She stays at the top of the steps and watches as he walks down to his desk. She looks like she is frozen at the top of the stairs. Maybe she feels like she is being naughty too, he wonders.
"Come on." he says looking at her standing at the top of the stairs.
He bends down at his desk setting up the projector he uses during his lectures. On the way over she told him that her presentation is loaded on powerpoint. She can project it on the the wall, once he sets it up for her. Sheldon watches as she walks down the stairs. He likes the way she moves. Amy is all soft femininity, wide hips and rounded buttocks. He almost wishes he had lingered at the top so he could watch her walk down. Then he chides himself for such out of place and salacious thoughts. He is merely acting as a student advisor for Miss Fowler. No matter than he had never shown this much interest, or one and one attention to anyone he had ever acted as advisor to before. In fact on the few occasion he had acted as a student advisor he had been given low marks for not being helpful enough, or giving enough one on one advice. Whereas Miss Fowler had him bending over backwards to meet her needs.
Sheldon moves to sit down at one of the desks in the front. He crosses his long legs and temples his fingers and rest his chin upon his long fingers. Watching her with interest as she sets up her laptop and arranges her papers. The screen behind her turns purple as she pulls up the presentation. She nervously shuffles her notecards and clears her throat.
"Esteemed members of the board." Amy starts and then clears her throat again. "I'm Amy Farrah Fowler doctoral candidate. I'm here to present my thesis on the Theory of Cognitive Storage." she says and coughs again. She's looking straight ahead not meeting his eyes.
Sheldon notes her posture, her ramrod straight back, giving her a regal bearing. He likes her voice it is husky and it calms him to listen to it. Once she hits her stride she presents her paper without skipping a beat. There is something almost mesmerizing about her. He finds himself fascinated by a subject matter that would normally bore him.
"Thank you, for your consideration." Amy finishes finally looking him directly in the eye. It feels like an electric jolt to his gut. Her wide green eyes looking directly into his. He claps and smiles at her.
"Well done, shall I say Dr. Fowler?" he says and she beams at him. Her smiles does even more to him. Like he would do anything she asks just to make it appear on her face again. He gets up and walks over to her as if drawn by a magnet.
"You think it was good enough to get my doctorate?" she asks him her eyes downcast. He lifts her face up so that she is looking him the eyes. To let her see how serious he is.
"I'm certain of it." he says his eyes burning into hers she looks into his eyes and smiles again, this time more shyly. Then something overtakes him, he is a man possessed as he presses his lips against hers. Softly at first his lips barely whispering against hers. She looks at him blinking and wide eyed as he pulls away. "I'm sorry Miss Fowler, I don't know what came over me." he says and then she is the one possessed as she buries her hands into his hair and pulls him back to her mouth.
This time he grows bolder pressing his lips harder against hers. Her lips part in a sigh and he sweeps his tongue inside her mouth. Amy responds in kind and their tongues dance against each other. He has her pressed against the desk, and lifts her up. So that she is sitting on the desk her legs part allowing him to settle himself between them. The continue to kiss like two teenagers in heat. He pulls off her sweater and begins to unbutton her blouse. His hands exploring her heated skin. Amy puts her hands up his shirts and he helps by pulling them off.
Sheldon takes a moment to marvel at her beauty. At the beauty of their skin when it was pressed together. How they seemed to glow like ethereal creatures in the soft light of the projector. She's looking at him with an expression of lust, that floods him with heat. He's never seen anyone look at him like that. Come to think of it he's never seen a woman topless besides his sister when he accidentally walked into the bathroom after she had showered.
Suddenly he starts to feel overwhelmed. This was too much too soon. They barely knew each other, his mother would be appalled at how he was behaving. Rutting on this poor girl like a horny steer. The words of the dean suddenly echo in his head. Harvard held itself to a higher standard. He was certainly setting a poor example right now. He could get fired over this. Then he would be in his record that he bedded his students. His whole career could be ruined over a pair of flashing green eyes. Was a girl worth losing his career over?
"I can't do this." he says pulling away from her. "I'm sorry, please put your clothes on and go." the looks she gives him almost breaks his heart. He was never good at reading faces, or emotions but he thinks he may have broken her heart too.
Amy doesn't say a word but she tugs back on her blouse and buttons it hastily leaving some mismatched. She grabs her things and fairly runs out of the auditorium, leaving him staring after her feeling lower than he ever had before. He notices that she has left her sweater on the desk. He picks it up and presses it to his face. It smells like her, fresh and soapy. It strikes him that she is like Cinderella only with wool instead of glass. Only he is no Prince Charming.
"Farewell, Dr. Fowler until we meet again." he says softly.
