Truth is I had the hardest just coming up with the title but it's here so everyone enjoy.

Announcer: If wishes were fishes then the whole world would be an ocean and if someone passes you a bag of my coke then you should sleep with one eye open hoping I don't find you. Hello again everyone I'm Don Poier and welcome back to Big Talk Radio for the next segment 'Mishima-Kazama Roundtable' with radio's happiest couple Kazuya Mishima and Jun Kazama.

Kazuya: I am Mishima. You know life is only funny until someone gets killed, then it's hilarious. But it can only be truly funny if you see it happen for yourself.

Jun: And I am Kazama. It's said that the truth shall set you but yet we are still lied to by everyone. But even with all chaos and anarchy that goes on in the world I can still find myself at peace knowing I have the most important thing to me back by my side.

Kazuya: I couldn't agree more. Now let's take some calls.

Jin: Mother, Father.

Kazuya: Well if it isn't my offspring.

Jun: Hi sweetie, how are you today?

Jin: Very good. I just got a job at the Cutthroat Casino.

Kazuya: Excellent son I'm proud of you. You're finally understanding how make the big bucks. And what better way is there than taking stupid peoples money?

Jin: I know and I never knew how easy it was until I got started then everything just fell into place. On my last shift I rigged a slot machine and suckered some lady, a succubus and a cat lady out of 50 million yen.

Jun: Jin how could you! I'm appalled! Are you trying to get fired?!

Kazuya: Oh come on honey, live a little. Jin this is outstanding and I couldn't be happier. I always dreamed that one day you'd find loop holes in wherever you worked at to con mindless suckers out of millions.

Jun: Son I have a hard enough time keeping this one under control you don't need to follow his example!

Jin: Mother there's no need to worry this is all legal. If it wasn't then I'd do a ponzi scheme fraud but then I'd be a billionaire.

Jun: Son that's not the point those people work hard for their money and if they are going to lose it then it should be done fairly.

Kazuya: You worry to much woman. But just to be safe be sure to cover your tracks then make up enough evidence to have your co workers go down before you do. Then send your funds to multiple locations in case things get crazy and the pigs come looking for you.

Jin: Thanks for the tip Father. Goodbye Mother.

Jun: Bye son!

Jin hangs up*

Kazuya: Don't give me that look, the boy is finally learning.

Jun: Honestly Kaz, have I taught you two nothing?! Gods give me strength, everything I say to them goes in one ear and out the other.

Kazuya: A dream come true isn't it? *Kazuya laughs*

Jun: Very funny. Next caller!

Honoka: Hi! I work odd jobs but even with my line of work I can't resist pleasuring myself.

Jun: Goodness!

Kazuya: Sounds hot.

Jun: Kazuya! How could you?

Kazuya: I was kidding! Anyways continue caller.

Honoka: Thanks! So I use to do it almost every chance I got but then some police officers got a hold of me said I couldn't do it in public anymore.

Jun: Oh dear, listen it's good you feel so confident about your body but you can't do things like that in public. It's indecent.

Kazuya: Nonsense! If you get the urge then just do it. There's no point in trying to fight it because then it will just get stronger. Who cares if people see and if they do just be charitable and offer them to join you.

Jun: My word! Have you no shame Kazuya?!

Kazuya: Not at all and if I did you most likely would've been bored with me. Now this is getting good, miss please continue.

Honoka: Ok, I also am a nymphomaniac but I feel dicriminated against because for some reason my movies I make with my friends keeep getting labeled as 'pornographic' I don't get it.

Kazuya: That right? Perhaps I should take a closer look at your movies. You know for research purposes.

Jun: I have a tazer with your name on it sweetie. Don't test me.

Kazuya: I love when you talk to me like that. Speak slower.

Jun: Calm yourself for once.

Kazuya: You're no fun! Say caller, have you ever been raped?

Jun: For the love of all things holy! Kazuya please!

Honoka: Well now that you mention it there was this time I was on a train and these guys surrounded me. I wanted to say something but one of them groped me and it was so blissful after that.

Kazuya: Very interesting. Now get off the line you filthy slut!

Kazuya ends her call*

Jun: That was rude.

Kazuya: Have you ever seen me be polite?

Jun: You were when we first met!

Kazuya: Ha! Well what can I say times have changed. Next caller!

Naruto: Hey there!

Jun: Do you have a question for us?

Naruto: Sort of see I got this Xbox a while ago and have been trying to mod it for months with no success...

Kazuya: Ah modding a gamers secret to making things more fun than it already is. A gateway to a world far beyond game makers creations and imaginations.

Jun: Very poetic. I'm intrigued.

Kazuya: Well hey I'm a poet but I just don't know it but I like to show it.

Jun: Amazing, but doesn't modding get you in trouble with the companies that make the games?

Naruto: Really depends what kind of mods you do but anyways I got a tip from a friend that I could mod it easily by throwing off of a tall building.

Jun: Please tell me you didn't do it.

Kazuya: 20 yen says he did.

Naruto: Of course I did! I needed mods bad!

Kazuya: I knew it! Where's my money?!

Kazuya is laughing hysterically in the background*

Jun: Why, oh why are people so gullible?

Kazuya: Ha ha! That's the kind of stuff I live for! So tell me kid, did you get any mods?

Kazuya tries to suppress his laughter while Jun has her head in her hands shaking her head*

Naruto: No, instead now it won't turn on. Can you give me suggestions on what I should do next?

Jun: Well you cou--

Kazuya: You should find yourself a private island, live there for the rest of your and never invite anyone. Now get this fucking imbecile off the line I can feel my I.Q. dropping!

Kazuya hangs him up*

Jun: Before we continue let's have a word from our sponsors.

--Commercial Start

I am The Man They Call The Truth and I am advertising EA Sports.

Today I have been asked to give a short tutorial of the pronunciation, inflection, intonation, and delivery of the line E. A. Sports.

Now I know you have a lot to cover today so I will keep this short. First and most important is volume.

EA Sports is not something to be delivered lightly. It is firm, it's aggressive, it is your guts hurtling through the air as you growl like a hungry dog on a t-bone.

As an exercise please turn to the person closest to you and scream 'I WANT YOUR JOB!' three times just as loud as you can.

The second most important thing is Inflection. It is E. A. Sports. Not, e A Sports

Not E a Sports, and sure as hell not Eee A Sports.

No my friends there is only one true inflection, capital E, capital A, capital SPORTS.

After all it's not u S A, it's USA and it's E. A. SPORTS.

Thirdly pronunciation, a seemingly simple thing really after all it eight measly letters E. A. Sports. What's so hard about that?

Yet alas you'd be surprised at what we've come across in our travels here's some examples.

The English version 'Yeah right then? EA Sports Right?'.

The middle eastern version 'Oh my god it's EA Sports'

The Canadian version 'E. A. Sports. A.'

The dyslexic version 'A. E. Sports.'

The Punk version 'E. A. Oh screw it!'

And the mime version '...'

Lastly and by no means do I mean least important attitude.

Electronic Arts is a company that kicks ass. It takes no prisoners, it offers no apologies. There is a swagger, and it's attitude that makes this line sing. For in the dog eat dog world that play in we are the snarling, slobbering, eyes rolling back in our heads pit bull. Chowing down on our competitors like some many crispy little doggy snacks.

So everytime you rip to the heavens the line E. A. Sports, it's in the game, you say it with attitude and you say it like it's the last happiest breath you are ever going to take. Now turn to the person closest to you, and give it up man! One time with as much feeling as you can muster. E! A! SPORTS! IT'S IN THE GAME!

I am The Man They Call The Truth and that concludes todays tutorial. Thank you and now back to your regularly scheduled program.

--Commercial Ends--

Jun: Seriously, where did I go wrong with you?

Kazuya: You didn't, you just gotta get use to how I am and this is funny considering we've been married for years and you still aren't use to this yet.

Jun: But would it kill you to be polite to someone other than me?

Kazuya: Hmmm...nope! Caller you're on the horn!

Baraka: Hey people say I'm funny but just being funny isn't cutting it these days. I don't think it's fair I mean I'm a tarkatan and my kind is highly respected. However when I use my material I get such negative criticism. It's really frustrating!

Kazuya: Are you related to my wife by any chance? Ha ha ha!

Jun: (sarcastically) Humorous Kazuya you're such a riot.

Kazuya: Actually I start riots.

Baraka: If she isn't a tarkatan then no.

Jun: Well last I checked my teeth aren't as badly disfigured as yours are so I don't think we are.

Kazuya: I don't know your teeth look pretty sharp, very messed up. Ha ha! Wooo!

Jun: I'm going to ring your neck!

Kazuya: Geez touchy! Take a joke will ya?

Jun: Ugh...caller do you have a question for us?

Baraka: Sure I know a lot of things you know I use to be on the radio a long time ago. How about I do your job? I get tired of cleaning up this club I work at. The people keep leaving semen everywhere.

Jun: Semen? You work at a sperm bank?

Baraka: No a strip club and sex goes on every night I swear those people screw like rabbits in heat! Hell I even seen the manager getting drilled by the DJ!

Kazuya: Now that's really something. How's pay?

Baraka: $25 an hour.

Kazuya: Making that kind of money I'd be laughing to the bank to much to complain.

Baraka: That's not the point I can't keep doing this! So about having your job?

Kazuya: Come on man even my wife can't do her job. Now kick rocks pathetic excuse of life! Let's have one last caller!

Juri: Hey there! I listen to your show every chance I get and I must say it really made me open my eyes about the world around me. I recently moved to the states and lived in a crummy apartment for a while before making a private Penthouse for myself. Now I have it guarded with the best security ever made. The place is surrounded by electric wire and even before then I got a Spaz 12 to shoot and kill any stranger I see.

Jun: Well that's...wonderful um is there anything you'd like to ask us?

Juri: As a matter of fact I do. Here's the thing I have a bunch of corpes rotting in my back yard which were murdered by yours truly. So I wondering am I able to get a tax rate for all of this unpaid manual labor?

Kazuya: Now that's a good question let's hope you can. In the meantime, do you have an accountant?

Juri: Just hired one last month.

Kazuya: Well done now I recommend you see if you can list them as dependants. If the accountant askes for names then used made up ones to avoid suspicion.

Juri: Sounds good, anything else?

Kazuya: Absolutely, next hide a majority of your net worth in an underground money laundering system designed to support and further push the heroin trade.

Juri: Hmm...that might be very profitable. Thanks a lot!

Kazuya: Hold on there's more! The benefit of all this is when it works you no longer need to pay anymore taxes for the rest of your life. And while you're at it go ahead and complain about how corrupted you think the country has gotten meanwhile ironically you're doing nothing to help.

Juri: Thanks for everything you guys are the best!

Juri hangs up*

Jun: Never in my life would ever think I would marry someone like you.

Kazuya: I'll take that as a compliment.

Jun: Seriously Kaz, do you even have a soul? That woman was talking about corpses in her yard and you give her advice on money laundering?!

Kazuya: What? I was giving one in a million advice right there. Not to mention it's an ideal way to have a monetary value state of mind.

Jun: Gods...I married man obsessed with money.

Kazuya: It's what makes the world go round and you gotta get it any way you possibly can and if it's done illegally then you cover your tracks every way you can.

Jun: How about instead of making dirty money off of corpes you think about some productive and environment friendly like recycling?

Kazuya: And how the hell would she be able to recycle those bodies?

Jun: Easy. She could donate all of thier organs to the needy.

Kazuya: Or better yet she could sell the organs to science and make an honest buck! Ha ha ha!

Jun: For the love of-- is money all you care about?!

Kazuya: I care about you and Jin.

Jun: I know that but there's more to life than money Kaz!

Kazuya: You might be right. You know you seem pretty stressed. How about I take you out for a night on the town?

Jun: That had to be the best idea you've had all day. Let's go! Everyone thank you for listening and we'll see again at The Roundtable.

The show goes off air*

Announcer: That was the Mishima-Kazama Roundtable. This has been Big Talk Radio and I'm Don Poier. We'll see you later folks!