ACT FOUR

July, 1776

INT. ANYANKA'S LAIR

HALFRAEK
You what.

ANYANKA
I… signed a contract for another life.

HALFRAEK
With that abomination of an organization? They're planning for an apocalypse. Right away that should tell you to run in the other direction. Nobody plans for an apocalypse, they just… bring it about. What on earth inspired you to even consider signing up for another life? You're immortal, hello.

ANYANKA
I know, but D'Hoffryn's been getting on my case lately. Says I used to be his star pupil, and that if I don't step it up, he'll make me mortal again. So I just figured… in the event of my sudden death, regardless of whether it's by explosion or by natural causes, I could stand being immortal again.

HALFRAEK
Anyanka, have you completely lost your mind? D'Hoffryn would never do that to you unless you deserved it! He's just trying to inspire you.

ANYANKA
…Well, all the same…

HALFRAEK
You're not getting it, Anyanka. Wolfram and Hart don't just give out extra lives at will. I had this friend once. Did the exact same thing as you; was offered an immortality contract in return for running a few errands. Her boss found out what she'd done—not D'Hoffryn, thank the Gods—and eviscerated her on the spot. Of course, she went on to her second life… but she was doomed to work for Wolfram and Hart forever. A servant. A lackie. And now that's your fate, too, should you ever die.

ANYANKA
Surely they would have informed me of such a clause if it applied to me…

HALFRAEK
Did you even read the contract?

ANYANKA
…I scanned it.

HALFRAEK
Anyanka, Anyanka. Always read the fine print. If I were you, I would march right over to the nearest Wolfram and Hart branch and threaten to eviscerate each and every last one of them if they didn't make it void.

ANYANKA
You don't know that's how it is, Hallie. And what is it with you and evisceration, anyway?

HALFRAEK
I do know that's how it is, but if you're so comfortable with the notion of backup immortality, who am I to stand in the way?

ANYANKA
Exactly.

HALFRAEK
Just because I've never been wrong before, doesn't mean you should trust me.

Anyanka glares at Halfraek, who sits and drinks her tea with a smirk on her face. Close in on Anyanka's face as her expression changes from annoyance to dread as she thinks about what an immortal lifetime at Wolfram and Hart could mean. Cut to the

Present

INT. WOLFRAM AND HART CELLAR

Wesley stares into a cage containing Angel, hands in his pockets, face expressionless. Angel, in turn, is sitting in a corner of the cage. He's raged, he's cried, he's tried to find a splinter to off himself with… pretty much anything a father who just broke his son's neck should do. Now he just sits, face in his knees. He hasn't moved in a while. Wesley simply stares. Gunn walks slowly up behind him.

GUNN
He's gonna live.

Angel looks up, his face caught somewhere between vampire and human. Wesley again notices his struggle between joy and misery.

WESLEY
Is he paralyzed?

GUNN
Hard to say, but the chances are in favour of him being fine.
(a beat)
They say it's a miracle he's alive at all because the break was so clean.
(a beat)
They're saying no one human could have possibly survived that, let alone have a sixty per cent chance of being able to walk around in a week or two.
(a beat)
Do you… you know, know him? Because I heard you call him "Connor", and that's what Angel called him right before he snapped his neck, so I can't help but feel like there's something you're not telling me.

WESLEY
(sighing)
There was a spell cast as a condition of our contract with Wolfram and Hart. Connor was… becoming a danger to himself, and others, so Angel made a deal to alter reality. Connor wouldn't remember any of us, and none of us would remember Connor except Angel.

GUNN
So what makes you immune?

WESLEY
I found out that Angel altered reality after Fred died. I thought perhaps the deal was to sacrifice Fred in exchange for… something. I didn't know. I asked Illyria to help me uncover what he'd done. Connor, Illyria and I were all in the vicinity at the time… we got our memories back. No one else did because they weren't in the room.

GUNN
Uh-huh. And when was this exactly, Wes?

WESLEY
You were in the holding dimension, getting your heart torn out daily.

GUNN
Oh. Right.

Gunn brings a hand to his chest unconsciously. Then he crosses his arms and stands beside Wesley, joining him in staring at the slightly psychotic vampire.

GUNN (cont'd)
So, uh… how long have we known Angel was… you know.

WESLEY
I don't think he's Angelus. Angelus would have taken much more care with killing Angel's son.

GUNN
Angel's… son? So Angel and Connor weren't…

WESLEY
Weren't…?

GUNN
Nevermind.
(a beat)
That conversation they had actually makes a lot more sense now.

Gunn suppresses a spiel of giggles. Wesley covers his mouth with one hand and chuckles into it. Their fun is interrupted, however, when the door to the basement/dungeon opens and an "oof" is heard as someone falls down a few of the stairs.

ALEXA
Guys, guys. We just caught word. A hospital downtown was blown up. A surviving patient described a chuckle or something seemingly coming from nowhere. I mean, he was a mental patient, but…

WESLEY
It's something. Do you have the address?

ALEXA
Yes. Anya has a vehicle waiting out front.

WESLEY
Good. Let's go.

He and Gunn jog up the stairs past Alexa. Gunn walks through the door, but Wesley stops and looks back.

WESLEY (cont'd)
Are you coming?

ALEXA
Can I?

WESLEY
Of course.

A grin spreads across Alexa's face as she scurries up the stairs after Wesley. Cut to

EXT. HOSPITAL - NIGHT

A fireman heads back to a fire truck. Wesley approaches him and silently tries out his American accent.

WESLEY
Excuse me, what happened here?

FIREMAN
(skeptically)
Who wants to know?

WESLEY
(pulling a false badge)
Agent Pryce of the FBI. I was just a few blocks away, dining—er, eating dinner when I heard the explosion. I'm just inquirrrwondering what's going on here.

FIREMAN
We were called out here fifteen minutes ago. The entire building had already collapsed by the time we got here… there wasn't much work left for us to do.

WESLEY
Any word on what caused the explosion?

FIREMAN
A bomb in the basement, I'm told, but don't quote me on that.

WESLEY
Are there any suspects? Witnesses?

FIREMAN
Not really. There was one mental patient who was certain he saw the window open and heard laughing as he was wandering around outside, but how reliable can that be, right?

WESLEY
Any lead is a good lead. Could you point out the gentleman in question for me?

The fireman points to a man with a walker already in avid conversation with Alexa. Wesley thanks the fireman for his help and walks back toward Anya. Gunn meets him along the way.

GUNN
Nothin' new. You?

WESLEY
As usual, the public is meticulously uninformed.

GUNN
You know you could have just said "no," right?

Wesley doesn't respond. He's looking off into the distance, undoubtably at Alexa. Surprise, surprise. As they stand by Anya, Gunn notices a disgusted expression on her face.

ANYA
Look at them all. Just… loitering about with their various mobility apparatuses, their skin melting off their faces and arms. It's one thing with demons. They're supposed to look like that. But old people don't have any excuse. They just want to be as gross as possible to make everyone else dread being old. I mean, not me. I don't have to get old anymore. I get to have my properly fitting skin forever. But—

WESLEY
Alexa, what have you found?

ALEXA
It's our guys, all right. Big with the evil cackles and the sneaking in and out of windows.

GUNN
Are you sure we can trust him, though? I mean, he is crazy.

ALEXA
He's not crazy. He's just misled in a lot of matters. I straightened him out. He's a normal member of society now.
(a beat of stunned silence)
I'll explain later. In the meantime, I think it'd be best if we split up, but Wesley's the b—

All of a sudden, her eyes widen and she starts flailing as she floats thickly backwards. Wesley frowns and opens his mouth to ask her what the matter is, but his lips meet instead with a gag. An unintelligible whisper in his ear distracts him as a hypodermic needle is inserted into Wesley's neck. He feels himself being dragged into some nearby bushes as the world fades to black.

FADE IN – INT. DARK CELLAR

Wesley is vaguely aware of motion on either side of him. He jerks his head up and hits it against a metal post behind him. He groans.

ANYA
Well, it's about time. You and Gunn just don't wake up without a fight, do you?

WESLEY
I apologize if my unconsciousness was inconvenient.

ANYA
Well, it was. I've been calling you for ages. You just kept on being unconscious, like I wasn't even here.

WESLEY
Where is here?

ANYA
I don't know. Some basement somewhere. It's dark and damp and smells like alcohol.

WESLEY
A wine cellar perhaps?

ALEXA
Not that kind of alcohol. It's sharper, more like rubbing alcohol. And it's coming from upstairs.

WESLEY
So we are in a basement.

ALEXA
Yeah, the stairs are about twelve feet in front of me.

WESLEY
You can see twelve feet in front of you? I can't see twelve inches in front of me.

ALEXA
I can see in the dark.

Gunn has been slowly coming to at the sound of conversation. He lifts his head up and tries to glance at Alexa.

GUNN
Too many carrots as a kid, or what?

ALEXA
Nevermind.

WESLEY
Gunn, are you behind me?

GUNN
We're all tied to this metal post.

WESLEY
(tugging at his hands)
Oh.
(giggles)

ANYA
(annoyed)
What are you laughing for? This isn't funny.

WESLEY
It is, a little bit.

ANYA
How is this possibly funny? We're stuck in this smelly room where we can't see anything and can't move. Clearly we've been kidnapped.

Gunn giggles, too. Wesley giggles back. Alexa sighs.

ALEXA
They're still loopy from the anesthetic. Give them a while.

ANYA
Oh. Why didn't we get anesthetic? I want to see the light of this situation.

ALEXA
We did get anesthetic. It's just that we're both… um… different than them, so it didn't do much.

ANYA
What, was it like anesthetic for males only?

ALEXA
…Yeah. Sure. Let's go with that.

Their conversation is interrupted by an open door. Blinding light pours in. The door closes, seemingly of its own accord. Wesley attempts to compose himself.

WESLEY
Who's there?

VOICE
I ask the questions. I do. That's my job. I'm not the one who's kidnapped, that's for sure. That means I ask the questions.

WESLEY
Righto then. Carry on.

VOICE
Which one of you is Angel?

WESLEY
Oh, he's not here.

VOICE
Lies!

WESLEY
No, no. No lies. He's locked up at the moment.

VOICE
That statement is true to you, too.

GUNN
(giggles)
True to you too. True to you too. Heee.

VOICE
Shut up!

GUNN
Sor-ry, grumpy pants.

Wesley bursts into laughter.

ALEXA
(rolling her eyes)
Look. Angel's not here. We were on a job for him when you snatched us up.

VOICE
Hmmm. Where is he, then?

ALEXA
Why? What difference would it make?

VOICE
We're on a job ourselves.

ALEXA
Oh really? Doing… what, exactly?

VOICE
None of your business. Angel was supposed to be here.

ALEXA
Well, he's not.

VOICE
…Fine.

Footsteps are audible up the stairs. The door opens and closes again of its own accord.

ALEXA
Well, that was successful. No thanks to you two.

WESLEY
Sorry. As we woke up, the loopiness got a little more intense. I'm a bit better now. How about you, Gunn?

GUNN
Yeah. Everything's starting to look pretty damn depressing, so I guess it must be wearing off.

WESLEY
But, you know, you've got to make light of a bad situation.

GUNN
Yeah.

WESLEY
I mean really. It wouldn't be terribly fun to just sit here and brood.

GUNN
Yeah. Like Angel does. He just sits and broods.

WESLEY
And it just doesn't look fun.

ALEXA
Guys! Shut up. We've really got ourselves into a mess here. How much do you want to bet they're sitting up there deciding to kill us now that they don't have Angel?

WESLEY
Oh dear.

ALEXA
Yeah, oh dear. We've gotta think fast. I can't read her m…face. Because I can't see her face. Because she's invisible. So I don't really know what we're dealing with. None of us do.

ANYA
I don't think they'll kill us. I think they'll be too busy causing mass destruction and looking for Angel that we'll starve to death.

ALEXA
Well, we'll die, and it'll be their faults.

WESLEY
What did we say? Now we're brooding. And it's just…

GUNN
No fun.

WESLEY
Yeah. No fun.

ANYA
I thought they said they were getting better.

ALEXA
It must not have been normal anesthetic. They're getting worse instead of better. Probably a mystical whosit.

ANYA
…I've heard that phrase before.

The door opens and closes again. This time a cell phone floats down the stairs.

VOICE
Who's Angel most likely to listen to?

WESLEY
Ooh, me.

ALEXA
Oh, no you don't. Not in this state.

GUNN
Aw, c'mon, let him.

ALEXA
It's not like Angel's going to be picking up a phone anytime soon, anyway. He's all wiggy in the dungeon, remember?

ANYA
You're just chock full of impersonations today, aren't you?

VOICE
One of you is going to get on the phone right now and tell Angel that if he doesn't get here by sunrise, you'll all be tortured and killed right here in this basement.

A beat as everyone lets this sink in.

GUNN
Nobody's any fun today!

WESLEY
Yeah. Lighten up, invisible lady. Tell a joke or something. …Fine, if no one else will… knock knock?

TO BE CONTINUED...

END OF EPISODE