A/N: Hey! Sorry I posted this chapter late. I had already begun work on it before the previous chapter was uploaded, but I sort of struck a blank at one point, and it was difficult to give this part of the story the justice it deserves. As a result, I decided that I wouldn't rush it. I was writing little by little for the past two weeks, and I finally came up with something I'm willing to post. Quick note: This chapter touches on very sensitive topics. Anyway, I hope you enjoy!
Chapter 3: Breaking the Barrier
Yuri stood with her back to the door, desperately trying to catch the breath which was suddenly sucked out of her lungs.
'What have I done?'
Natsuki stood silently, staring at the plank of wood in front of her for what seemed like an eternity.
'What have I done?'
She was too shaken to notice the hitched breathing from the other side of the door. Natsuki tried calling the tall girl's name, but her voice failed her. She tried again.
"Yuri..."
Even then, it came out only slightly louder than a whisper. She cleared her throat, ignoring the lump which restricted her own breathing.
"Yuri!"
Yuri tried responding, but her voice failed her. She tried again.
"No..."
Even then, it came out only slightly louder than a whisper. She cleared her throat, ignoring her blaring headache from lack of oxygen.
"No!"
"What's wrong with you?" cried Natsuki.
"What do you think is wrong with me? What are you even doing here? How could you ever forgive me for what I've done?"
Even though her words stabbed at Natsuki's heart, the pink-haired girl would not be dissuaded.
"You're right, how could I forgive someone who slams the door in my face while claiming to be my friend? Not only that, I show up at your house to give you your stupid bag despite the fact that you fucking slapped me. Let me tell you something: if you don't open this door right now, you can kiss this friendship goodbye."
Tears threatened to fall from the small girl's eyes once again. She didn't mean to be so harsh. She didn't mean for things to be like this. She didn't mean to put their entire friendship on the line because of her stupid emotions. But she couldn't let Yuri drown in that self-pity. She felt the pit in her stomach expand once more. Was it really her fault that she dealt with this situation in the only way she's known her whole life?
Yuri, who was slumped to the floor for the second time that day, also had to fight a losing battle to keep her tears from escaping her eyes. She usually tried to be rational. She needed time to think about things and come up with a solution. But she didn't have time. The longer she took, the more damage she would do. Each passing second tore at the strings of her already scarred heart. Thinking about this situation would help nothing. Using her arms as a lifeline, she tried standing up. Her legs nearly buckled under the immense strain, screaming at her mind to just make it stop. But her heart was far stronger than her mind in that moment. Natsuki was one of the few friends she had; she simply couldn't let things end like this.
She almost screamed along the long journey from the floor to her feet, but she made it. Despite her victory, her mind began to take over once more. She suddenly felt nauseous. She mustered each and every ounce of her strength and tossed out whatever remnants of pride remained in her heart – self-pity along with it – and opened the door. She didn't have any strength left to lift her eyes from the floor.
Natsuki looked at her forlorn expression and noticed her shallow breathing. The guilt began to take over once again. She took Yuri's averted gaze as an opportunity to close her eyes and take in a deep breath in an effort to find some strength to do what she needed to do. Not even the overwhelming guilt was enough for her to swallow her pride for once in her life, so all she could do was hold out the package containing Yuri's cupcake.
Yuri could barely see the brown bag in her peripheral vision. Ever so slightly, her eyebrows were raised as she wondered what it could possibly be. She reached out and took it from her friend with a trembling hand.
"What's this?"
While it should have been expected, the question caught the shorter girl off guard.
"It's...a little something I got for you..."
"Why?"
Yuri's tone was concern mixed with confusion. Natsuki sighed. She couldn't avoid it forever.
"To say sorry."
Yuri audibly gasped.
"I don't understand..."
"What's there not to-"
The hot-headed girl caught herself in her irritation.
"Yuri, I think it's time you realise that you're not the only one who's at fault."
Their eyes met.
"But...what I did to you..."
"Let's just be honest here, I kinda deserved it."
"No! Nobody deserved to be treated the way you get treated."
Yuri herself was startled at her strong tone. Natsuki, however, was less than fazed.
"Believe what you want, but that gives me no excuse to lash out at people the way I do. I even brought up your...self-harm, in some petty argument. There's no denying that I took it too far."
The short-haired girl looked down in shame. The taller girl did not even try to think of a response; she knew she couldn't argue with that. The only movement in the air was the gentle breeze that almost went unnoticed. The silence was deafening, yet comforting at the same time. As pink and purple locks slowly swayed back and forth, Yuri was unexpectedly the one who broke the silence.
"Would you...would you like to come in?"
Natsuki looked up at her with reflective cheeks. Her stunned expression was only fleeting, however, and she promptly nodded her head. Trying her hardest to ignore the pain in her legs, the long-haired girl stepped aside to allow her friend to enter her home. The pink-haired girl left her bag by the front door next to Yuri's bag. She wasn't planning on staying long in any case. She didn't know what she was expecting when she walked in, but Natsuki found that everything in this house screamed Yuri.
From the violet and lilac furnishings, to the rather subdued palette used to paint the walls, to the subtle elegant modesty and cleanliness of everything inside, all contributed to the idea that anyone who knew Yuri would unmistakably assume that this could only be her residence.
"Is something wrong?"
Natsuki was slightly startled by the gentle girl's voice. Was she really staring for that long?
"Uh, no, everything's fine."
"Are you sure? You looked like you were quite deep in thought."
"Well, I was just thinking that this house is so...you."
Yuri's eyebrows furrowed for a moment before she smiled softly.
"Oh, I thought it was because you...A-actually, never mind I said that. I think it would be best for us to sit in the lounge."
Though her eyes were downcast, her smile somehow remained. Natsuki stared at her friend's back as they walked through the house and noticed that, while Yuri was clearly uncertain about what to do, she seemed somewhat comfortable. She wondered what the purple-haired girl wanted to say at first, but chose to hold that thought. Soon, Natsuki made herself at home on the lavender coloured couch in the lounge. The taller girl stayed standing, taking a moment to gather her thoughts. Her eyes wandered to her hands by her waist, with her right hand neatly folded over her left hand which held Natsuki's apology cupcake.
"Would you-"
Her words were barely audible, so she cleared her throat.
"Would you like something to drink? Perhaps we could have some tea or coffee to go with your cupcake."
"Oh, uhm, can I have some coffee? No sugar, please."
Natsuki wasn't expecting that she'd want to share the cupcake. She wanted to punch herself for being caught off guard so many times and acting so uncharacteristically awkward. Then again, maybe this was how Yuri felt all the time. The girl in question gave a slight nod before retreating to the kitchen. The fresh cut on her left arm had started to sting, and the tearing in her legs wasn't easing any of her pain. Still, Natsuki didn't have to know about it, so Yuri used all of her willpower to contain her anguish until she was out of sight.
The pink-haired girl peered over to the kitchen and watched as her friend elegantly took out mugs from the cupboard and audibly placed them on the counter just outside of the view from the doorway. Yuri's foot bumped into something on the floor. She glanced down and saw that her school shoes and her phone were still lying there from that afternoon. Disappointment welled up in her gut and rose to further enlarge the lump in her throat. She frowned in regret, remembering what had happened earlier in the day as she picked up her phone placed it on the counter. She glanced through the doorway and noticed Natsuki idly staring in her direction.
The girls made eye contact for a brief moment. Yuri retreated back out of sight while Natsuki resolved to stare ahead of her instead. Embarrassment manifested itself as heat in their faces. Was their situation not awkward enough as it was? Natsuki placed a hand over her face, trying her hardest to return to the neutral state was in. Her phone buzzed in her pocket.
Monika: Hey Natsuki! Can you please give me an indication of when you're coming over? My parents can even come pick you up if you want, since it's dangerous to walk late at night.
'Huh, can't believe I forgot about that.'
Hey, you don't have to go through so much trouble for me.
She glanced over to the kitchen once more, listening to Yuri pour the freshly boiled water.
I'll probably be there in about half an hour.
She took one more look at her message and sighed.
And thanks for opening up your place for me, Monika. I appreciate it.
Natsuki sent the message, placing her phone on the table as Yuri walked back to the lounge carrying two mugs. Both girls simultaneously wondered what they'd talk about. The topic of the literature club was best left alone; they'd only remind themselves of what had happened earlier in the day. Yuri thought about the cupcake that she had sliced in the kitchen. Ah yes, she could ask Natsuki how she knew her favourite flavour was chocolate. Natsuki, on the other hand, studied the mugs. Why would Yuri have a full tea set at school, but choose to use regular mugs in her house? Neither of the two questions really left room for a full conversation, but they were better than nothing.
The tall girl laid out Natsuki's coffee on the side of the table closest to her. When she put her own mug down, her sleeve moved in such a way as to irritate the cut on her arm, and it jerked back as she inhaled sharply. This did not go unnoticed by Natsuki, whose eyebrows furrowed in concern.
"Are you alright?"
"Oh, y-yes I am,"
Yuri's reply sounded oddly dismissive. Under other circumstances, Natsuki would've let it slide, but considering the fact that she knew about her friend's bad habit, and with the event that had taken place earlier in the day she simply could not take her word for it.
"Yuri..."
"Don't worry about me, I burned my hand on the cup, that's all,"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure,"
Yuri immediately regretted lacing her response with aggression. Natsuki placed her coffee back on the table and looked at her friend in the eye. Yuri was clearly hiding something, and Natsuki hoped that it wasn't what she thought it was.
"Yuri, did you..."
It was extremely difficult for her to say it out loud, so her tone shifted to a near whisper.
"Did you...c-cut yourself...this afternoon?"
'Please say no. Please say no. Please say no. Please say no.'
Yuri paused for a little bit too long. A thought crossed both girls' minds.
'Oh no...'
"No, of course n-not,"
Natsuki made it obvious in her worried facial expression that she didn't buy her blatant lie.
"Don't lie to me, Yuri,"
"I'm not lying!"
If anything cast away the doubt that Yuri was lying, it was her over-defensiveness.
"Please don't tell me it's my fault that you...that you..."
Yuri watched as her friend tried to contain her tears. There wasn't time to think.
'What do I say, what do I say...?'
"You have nothing to worry about."
'Please just drop it now...'
"Oh, really?"
"Yes..."
"Then I'm sure you won't mind rolling up your sleeve?"
Yuri's eyes widened. She should've expected that question.
"I...No, I can't."
"Why not?"
"It's...it's too personal."
"Yuri, please,"
"I'm sorry, Natsuki, but I can't,"
The pink-haired girl considered playing the friendship card again, but her demeanour was already overly aggressive, and she didn't want to scare her. This suddenly turned to a very tender situation, and as such, she would have to think carefully about what to do from here. She stopped for a moment. Then, she made a decision and let out a sigh. She closed her eyes and slowly lifted her shirt. Yuri's face flushed with embarrassment.
"Natsuki, what are you-"
She gasped at what she saw. Ugly purple blotches on Natsuki's fair skin, on the right side of her abdomen. Yuri's best guess was that she was likely kicked there.
Hard.
Multiple times.
It was Yuri's turn to keep her tears in check. The pink-haired girl opened her eyes and stared at the floor as she pulled her shirt back down.
"That's what he did to me last night. That's why I was extra bitchy today. Not that it justifies anything."
"I'm so sorry, Natsuki," whispered Yuri from behind her hand.
"There's nothing you should apologise for. You didn't do anything."
"But I-"
"What you did is nothing in comparison to this!"
The pink-haired girl lowered her voice and closed her eyes once more.
"He slapped me with his left hand this morning. When you slapped me, it just reminded me of what happened and I couldn't take it anymore. That fucker hasn't given me food for three whole days. I've been living off slices of bread, coffee and muffins this whole time. I almost resorted to digging in the trash can when no one was looking, just to get some scraps of leftover lunch. Luckily, there were some coins under the vending machine, so I could buy a few snacks."
She looked up at her friend.
"But I also need to realise that it's not all about me, other people have problems too! I had no right to say those things to you, Yuri, and I'm sorry."
The tears were flowing freely at this point, and it was becoming difficult for her to speak.
"I'm sorry I made fun of your self-harm...and I'm sorry if it was ever my fault that you decided to cut yourself...I don't know if you'll ever forgive me for being such a terrible person! I really don't mean to take my emotions out on other people, but sometimes it's just too much for me to handle...and I say really mean things...things that I always regret saying because I don't mean to say them, I really don't!"
She looked down at the floor once more, watching her tears drop to the floor while she openly sobbed. Yuri could only look on at her friend in astonishment. This was a side of Natsuki that she was likely the first to see, a side of her that no one would expect to even exist. Then again, as someone who constantly studies the deeper meaning behind words on a page, Yuri should know that people are more complex than anyone could ever imagine.
She watched as her friend broke down in front of her, and as a result, she started feeling broken as well. Yuri made her way over to Natsuki, sat beside her on the couch, and held her broken friend tenderly in her arms. The pink-haired haired girl turned and clutched on to her friend's shoulder, letting out every single ounce of her pent up emotions. Neither of them knew how long it took, but eventually Natsuki let go and stared down at the floor once more. Yuri stayed as she was, only breaking her embrace when the shorter girl leaned forward to grab her coffee. It was still relatively hot, though not as hot as she preferred it. Nevertheless, she still savoured the bitter taste and readily allowed the liquid to dissolve the lump in her throat. She looked up at the girl whose sweater she had drenched with her tears.
"Thank you," uttered Natsuki, "I really appreciate it, Yuri."
Yuri offered her a faint smile in acknowledgment. The shorter girl stared back down at the floor.
"You don't have to show me anything. It was insensitive of me to demand that you roll up your sleeve."
Yuri ran her index finger over her newest cut. It was kind of ironic how her three week streak was technically broken by accident. Though, she would've likely made a fresh cut willingly if Natsuki didn't show up when she did.
"Three weeks,"
Natsuki glanced up at this utterance.
"I managed to contain the urge for three weeks..."
The purple-haired girl looked at her friend.
"When my parents left the house on Sunday, I thought that if I could make it through this week without...cutting myself...I would be able to kick the habit."
It was Yuri's turn to stare at the floor.
"This morning, I held the dull edge of my favourite knife to my arm. The temptation was there, inviting me in. All I had to do was turn the blade around and apply a small amount of pressure, and all my unprocessed emotions would seep through the opening in my skin; I would feel the pain I deserved."
Natsuki felt the urge to interrupt her, to tell her that no one deserved to feel that sort of pain. She decided against it, as it would likely discourage the quiet girl from speaking further.
"Instead, I put it back in my drawer, thinking that I should just go one more day without it, to see where it would lead me. But then this afternoon..."
Tears fell from purple eyes.
"I can't believe I did that."
Her voice cracked. She cleared her throat.
"I let my anger get the best of me, anger that I didn't even know I felt."
She looked at Natsuki once more.
"When I ran into you in the bathroom after I hit you, I realised that I caused you pain that you didn't deserve, so I decided that I needed to feel that pain. I sprinted all the way home, despite my lack of breath, despite the pain in my legs. I deserved to suffer like that because I hurt you."
She paused. The lump in her throat was making it overly difficult to speak, so she leaned over and grabbed her tea, taking a sip before putting it back on the table.
"Before you came, I was sitting on my bed, holding the dull edge of the knife against my arm, aching to reopen my wounds."
Yuri used her right arm to wipe away her tears.
"I had just turned the knife over. The sound of your knocking scared me and I drove the blade deeper than I wanted to."
It was excruciating for Natsuki to listen to her friend speak like that. She had to sip more of her coffee with her trembling hands in order to calm herself. She wanted to cry for the millionth time that day. Suddenly, Yuri raised her left arm. She slowly rolled up the sleeve. Natsuki could only stare, mortified.
'Oh fuck...'
Underneath was a crudely placed sheet of toilet paper with a streak of blood running down the centre. The other uncovered parts of her arm revealed an almost immeasurable amount of cutting scars, ranging from shallow lines to deep gashes. The pink-haired girl looked up to find a forlorn expression on her friend's face. It was Yuri's turn to tremble, and her next words came out as a whisper.
"Some days I would just cut once. Other days, I just couldn't stop."
The tears were streaming down her face at this point.
"I'm so weak..."
"No you're not..."
"Don't lie to me."
"Have I ever lied to you?"
Yuri stood up in sudden rage despite the tearing in her legs.
"Oh come on, Natsuki! You can't tell me that someone who can't even handle their own emotions isn't pathetic!"
Natsuki stood as well.
"Yuri-"
"No! You don't understand! I just come into people's lives and ruin everything! I should just-"
"Yuri, shut the fuck up!"
Natsuki's voice echoed throughout the house before a deafening silence fell upon the two girls. They stood for a moment, and the shorter girl was, unsurprisingly, the one to break the silence.
"You're right, I don't understand what you're going through. As a matter of fact, I don't have an idea why someone would choose to hurt themselves the way you do. When you told us about your...habit, I didn't really think much of it because I never realised just how bad it really is. But now...now that I've seen it for myself..."
Words escaped her. Natsuki threw her arms around the taller girl. Yuri stood rigid in astonishment. She slowly raised her right arm to half return the embrace, but an utterance stopped her.
"Idiot..."
Yuri frowned.
"Don't ever call yourself weak again. We weren't ever really close, yet you still went ahead and showed me your scars. You still told opened up to someone you don't know you can really trust. Tell me, how is that weak?"
There was a momentary silence.
"I...I couldn't control myself...I let my anger out in the worst way possible...I went back to my old habit, my addiction..."
Natsuki sighed.
"Yuri, I said some very terrible things to you today...it was my fault-"
"No...it wasn't. I was the one who lost control. I think I would've wanted to self-harm regardless of what happened today..."
Fresh tears began to fall from Yuri's face, and she finally returned her friend's embrace with her right arm.
"You have pain inflicted on you by someone else, Natsuki, yet here I am inflicting pain on myself because I'm too pathetic to deal with my own problems."
"Don't say that-"
"It's true!"
Yuri wept silently as Natsuki thought long and hard about what she was going to say.
'I have no idea what to do in this situation...'
Eventually, she made a decision and gently broke her embrace with her friend. Both girls opted to stare at the floor.
"Yuri, I don't think anyone knows how to deal with their problems. We're all still growing, and we're faced with new problems every day, so how are we supposed to know? I think everyone finds some sort of coping mechanism. I tend to put on an act and take out my emotions on everyone around me, I think Monika sees something in leading other people, Sayori chooses to make other people happy, even if she herself isn't happy, and in your case, you...cut. It's the only way you know of in order to cope with whatever is thrown your way. That doesn't make you weak. If you found relief in doing something else in your time of need, you would've likely been doing that instead."
She reached for Yuri's left arm and softly took her friend's hand into her own, idly tracing over the exposed scars near her wrist.
"So...don't feel bad about what you do. It's not your fault. You called this an addiction a few moments ago, but you survived a whole three weeks without it. This doesn't define who you are, much like how my father's actions don't define who I am."
The pink-haired girl realised something, so she squeezed her friend's hand. Yuri looked up to see Natsuki offering a cheeky grin. She couldn't help but offer a faint smile in return.
"I just thought that, since we're both so fucked up, why don't we go get some help together? We have no idea what we're doing, so why don't we go talk to someone who does?"
Yuri's hesitation was tangible.
"I always thought that I needed help," Natsuki stared off to the side, "I just think it'll be easier to not have to go alone, you know?"
Yuri paused for a moment.
'Where will we get the money for therapy?'
She thought about how Sayori's mother was willing to pay for anything to help her daughter.
'My parents are very understanding, but I'm not sure if I want to tell them about my urges...'
She glanced at her friend, noticing the vulnerability and the pain in her eyes.
"Okay," she said.
Their eyes met again.
"Let's go get help."
Natsuki pulled Yuri in for a tight hug, unintentionally grazing her friend's cut as well as hurting her own bruises.
"Ow," they said, before letting out some of their tension as they laughed in unison.
"First things first, let's get some bandages so we can fix you up. Afterwards, we gotta work on our apologies to our fellow club members for tomorrow. I hope you have baking ingredients."
The purple-haired girl looked bewildered.
"What? Aren't cupcakes the best way to say sorry?"
They laughed once more, their beverages standing lukewarm and forgotten on the coffee table. When Yuri left to get the first aid kit, both girls felt a sense of discomfort; a feeling that was almost regretful. They felt as though opening up was a mistake. Nevertheless, there was no way to turn back time, so they simply had to deal with it. Her train of thought was derailed when the light suddenly turned on in the lounge. As expected, her friend walked in carrying a small red bag. At first, Yuri felt uncomfortable to let someone else tend to her rather sensitive arm, but she allowed Natsuki to clean her wound and bandage her scarred arm after some convincing. When she was done, Natsuki made her way to the bathroom, threw the few used antiseptic wipes in the bin and washed her hands.
Yuri carefully rolled her sleeve back down, tenderly tracing her index finger over the most recent cut while her arm rested on her lap. Whatever hazy thoughts she attempted to process were interrupted by Natsuki's phone vibrating on the coffee table. She leaned forward to glance at the notification.
Monika: Hey, I hope I'm not being annoying but you're taking quite long to get here. Are you sure my parents shouldn't pick you up?
She frowned.
"Who said you could check my phone?"
Yuri's heart skipped a beat.
"I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"
Natsuki couldn't help but giggle at her flustered friend.
"Don't worry, I'm only kidding."
"Oh," she replied with a rather forced giggle of her own.
"Who was it anyway?"
"Monika."
"Oh crap, I can't believe I forgot to message her again."
She reached for her phone.
"She must be worried sick..."
"You can stay here for the night. That is, if you want to o-of course."
Natsuki stopped to look at her friend
"Are you sure you want me here?"
Yuri faintly smiled and nodded in response.
"Thanks Yuri, it really means a lot to me."
"I suppose you can see it as saying thanks for listening to me."
Her gaze shifted to the floor.
"Again, I'm sorry for...what I did."
"You're too apologetic!" replied Natsuki playfully. "I thought I already established that you're not the only one at fault."
She glanced over to her friend, who didn't seem entirely convinced.
"But if it makes you feel better, I forgive you."
Yuri's guilt subsided a little bit. Natsuki took her phone and responded to Monika's text.
Hey Monika, Yuri offered for me to stay at her place for the night so I won't be coming over anymore. Thanks again for opening your house to me!
Her thoughts then shifted to the other two members of the literature club.
"Well, Yuri. Let's bake!"
The purple-haired girl happily nodded in response. They carried their nearly full cups to the kitchen. Yuri poured her lukewarm tea down the drain while Natsuki opted to heat her coffee up in the microwave.
"You don't have to do that, I can make more for you, if you'd like."
"It's fine. Even though it doesn't really taste the same, I'd rather not waste anything."
"I really don't mind. Besides, you were cleaning my cut right next to the cups."
Natsuki looked slightly disgusted.
"In that case, be my guest," she said, handing over her mug.
They got to work after sharing a laugh, with Natsuki gleefully talking about each step in the baking process while Yuri intently listened to each one of her friend's words. Natsuki didn't bother asking why Yuri's shoes were in the kitchen, opting instead to focus on the task at hand. Soon, the two slices of Yuri's chocolate cupcake as well as their freshly made beverages were finished, and the cupcakes were ready to be taken out of the oven. Once they were set aside to cool, Yuri heated up leftovers for the two of them in order to subdue the hunger they hadn't even realised they were feeling. They sat on the couch and watched a rather uninteresting movie while they ate their food. When they were done, the two of them carried their plates back to the kitchen, placing them by the sink before icing the now cooled cupcakes.
Yuri was fascinated by Natsuki's artistic approach to baking, so she watched eagerly as her friend meticulously decorated each cupcake to look like different animals. Everything about Natsuki in those moments, particularly her intense focus and body language, was enough to let anyone know that this was therapeutic for her. Yuri hadn't even realised that she'd been staring at how her friend stuck her tongue out when she had to handle the more intricate details of the icing, so she was more than embarrassed when the pink-haired girl suddenly snapped her out of her thoughts.
"This one's for you."
The taller girl blinked and lightly shook her head to return to reality. She was relieved to see that Natsuki wasn't looking at her, which means she couldn't have noticed anything suspicious. Yuri instinctively adjusted her sleeve when she saw that a raccoon was the product of her friend's work. It was so finely crafted; each detail, from the eyes, to the stripes, to the nose, and even little whiskers, clearly showcased that Natsuki had more than experience in this craft.
"Uhm, aren't you gonna say anything?"
Yuri absent-mindedly gazed at her friend's trademark frown as she stood with her hands on her hips, waiting for some response.
"Hmm?"
She stopped tracing meaningless lines on her palm and let go of her left wrist.
"Oh, it's lovely!"
Natsuki didn't exactly look convinced.
"I-I'm sorry, I was just mesmerised by how much work you put into it...it really is exquisite!"
She looked off to side and opted to interweave her purple locks between her fingers out of habit. The pink-haired girl giggled, and their eyes met again.
"What's so funny?"
"I was just thinking...the way you play with your hair like that is kinda cute."
Natsuki gave a cheeky grin, almost as though she had just won something. Yuri's face flushed and she gave a faint smile before looking off to the side once more.
"Oh...well, thank you."
Natsuki's face fell.
"Really? You were supposed to realise how annoying it is to be called cute!"
Yuri looked bewildered. It was Natsuki's turn to be flustered.
"N-never mind."
She lifted her hand to cover her mouth as she felt a sudden yawn coming on. Yuri had to stifle a yawn of her own.
"I'm getting tired," said Natsuki. "What time is it?"
"Let's see," Yuri reached for her phone on the counter, "8:26 PM"
"So early," she replied, yawning yet again.
Natsuki rubbed her tired eyes.
"I wish we didn't get homework today," she said to no one in particular. Yuri nodded in agreement. Even though the atmosphere shifted in a far more positive direction than earlier in the day, both girls were physically and emotionally drained. They were unaware that the other person in the room had both slept and woken up in the early hours of the morning.
"I think if we work together, it might go more smoothly," suggested Yuri.
And so, after taking their bags from the front door, the two of them moved to her room. Natsuki opted to sit and work on the single bed while the taller girl sat to work at her desk. Despite Yuri's suggestion, they worked by themselves. However, they found comfort in each other's presence; in the fact that they were not alone in that moment and as a result, an hour of work was perceived to pass in a matter of minutes. Yuri finished reading over a couple of pages in her physics textbook before neatly packing her books in her bag for the next day. She glanced over to her bed to find Natsuki peacefully asleep, her hand resting on a page with an unfinished math equation. She smiled a serene smile in response to the rather unusual sight, a smile which was broken by a sharp inhalation when she tried to stand up.
She realised that she had completely forgotten about the tearing in her legs, though the pain had more or less subsided at that point. She stood up, this time using her arms to support her. Yuri moved over to Natsuki and gently slid her book from beneath her arms, much like how her own mother did for her when she was younger. She closed it softly before gathering the strewn about items of stationery, carefully putting them in the open pencil bag as to avoid disturbing her friend. She then placed all of her friend's belongings next to her school bag; it would have been difficult to put them in the bag since it was already overfilled.
Yuri left the room to fetch a blanket for Natsuki and, once she returned, tenderly placed it over her friend. Her gaze unconsciously shifted to her bedside table when she turned off the light. Her legs then proceeded to carry her to where she'd chosen to sleep – her parents' room. Like the past few nights, she was delighted to be able to sleep in her tank top thanks to the absence of her parents. As she got below the covers, a sense of discomfort welled up in the pit of her stomach. She regretted opening up to Natsuki in the way that she did, because she felt like she was burdening her friend with her problems. Her right hand idly traced along her bandaged arm. Earlier, the atmosphere was more than comfortable between them despite what had transpired, but she could not help but believe that opening up was a mistake. Still, the damage had already been done.
A sigh escaped her lips. In the silent darkness of the night, the wound in her arm began to sting once more. She realised then, that she had forgotten all about her pain in the presence of her friend, albeit only temporarily. She smiled faintly.
'Maybe this won't be so bad after all...'
That night, for the first time in three weeks, Yuri fell into a peaceful slumber.
A/N: And there you have it! Like I mentioned earlier, it was quite difficult to write this chapter. I don't have any personal experience with these sensitive issues, so I can only hope I did it justice. I'd love to hear your opinions! I kind of regret writing this in the form of a short story because I had to cram a lot into one chapter. Anyway, as for the epilogue, I can't guarantee that I'll get it out by next week. I haven't had much time since I started school again last week. I guess what I can say is thanks for your patience. I hope the wait was worth it. As usual, constructive criticism is welcome.
