"I don't know if I'm ready for this." I mumble as the young woman behind me ties the last lace in my corset and then checks my hair for any loose strands.
Sofiya steps up to face me and gently takes my hands, her cerulean eyes twinkling with reassurance. "You'll be fine, Kaya."
Her smile is contagious and I soon find myself shyly grinning back, despite being in an unfamiliar country, with only one friend in the whole world.
I had no illusions about why my normally cold, calculating father brought me along on this trip. I was obviously just another bargaining chip that he sought to use to expand his territory, despite how large the kingdom of Palladon already was. Fortunately (or unfortunately), my father always seemed to know when he was outmatched, which was why we had come, so he could avoid a fight that he might have relished, but would've ultimately lost in the end.
The doors to the throne room opened and I looked upon the person I knew to be my future.
The boy, my future betrothed, no doubt, was average, in every way. Height, weight, looks. Even if he'd been handsome, I doubt I'd find him attractive.
My father proceeded to talk as if I wasn't right beside him, which was nothing new, but I kept getting a nagging feeling in the back of my mind that just wouldn't go away, no matter how hard I tried to push it out of my head. It was like having an itch that you just couldn't reach. It was almost lucky that my father was doing all the talking; I wouldn't have been able to concentrate on an intelligent conversation if I tried.
Even after the meeting was over, the feeling in my head had spread to my stomach. It made me queasy and I felt dread clawing at my insides. Was my life to be nothing more than this?
I had known and had acknowledged the reality of my situation long ago. Still, somehow I found myself slipping away into the night after writing a quick note to Sofiya, telling her not to worry. I would have taken her with me, but all I wanted was to have some time to myself.
Time passed slowly, and the days seemed to drag by. I just kept on walking, and hitched rides on various horse-towed wagons going to gods-knew-where. I wandered aimlessly in a vague, northern direction; all I knew was that I didn't want to go back yet.
Somehow, I ended up in one of the largest cities in Lemuria. Vesuvia, which had Lemuria's border to the north and the sea to the west, was notorious for its proximity to a monstrous volcano to the northeast. I felt a strange sense of belonging as I entered the city that was located at the foot of the volcano.
I wandered through the market, the air tasting clean, despite the fact that the streets were intensely populated with bustling people intent on finishing their shopping. I used what little money I had on getting supplies that would see me through a voyage to an island somewhere off the coast of Lemuria. It was rumored that there was another mysterious land to the far west. If luck was on my side, maybe one of the islands had a place I could work to save money to purchase a boat to get there.
No one paid me much attention in Vesuvia, which suited me just fine, as I'd never had any problem being just another face in the crowd. Sofiya loved to tease my shy nature, laughingly saying, 'You're so cute, you're like a baby deer!'. I hadn't particularly liked to be related to such a timid creature, but I supposed if the shoe fit. Sofiya would usually follow up a compliment like that with a girlish squeal and a giggle as she patted me on the head, finding it adorable the way I would flush under the praise and attention.
I had no idea that our time together would be so limited.
Kaya shot awake, images of burning buildings and dark alleyways searing with blinding clarity through her mind. Those were moments she did not want to re-live under any circumstances.
Slowly and painfully making her way into a sitting position, Kaya rubbed her forehead, trying to will away the throbbing that still lingered after what she guessed was a long sleep. A low moan drew her attention to the right.
Elsa had her knees pulled up to her chest and was resting her forehead on her crossed arms. The position didn't look very comfortable, but Kaya guessed that the queen's slumber had been exhaustion-induced. Her breathing was slow and even, her eyelashes fluttering as she slept.
Kaya pulled herself up to sit against the wall to her back, still trying to fight the images that still plagued her mind.
After going to the market that day, she had looked for a safe place to sleep. She didn't want to waste what little money she had left on a room when she just needed to make it through the night, then she would be long gone by noon the next day.
That night, though, shouts and the smell of burning wood interrupted her fitful sleep, and she'd awoken to find people yelling and running past her hiding place in the rafters of an old barn. She shouldered her small satchel and followed the noises, knowing there was a fire nearby and maybe she would be able to help.
The fire had spread to all the floors of the enormous building. Kaya had thought that the structure had to have been several stories tall.
As she'd stared, hypnotized by the inferno, her vision had shifted. The fire suddenly lost its bright orange color, becoming a faded grey. There were two huddled spots of color to the upper left that had caught her attention.
Kaya hadn't realized at the time that she was actually seeing through the flames into the interior, but as soon as she blinked a few times, not believing what she was seeing, the scene around her suddenly barreled back to reality. She instinctively had known what the small assortment of colors that she'd seen had been.
Sighing, Kaya's eyebrows furrowed as she remembered what happened next. She'd run into the building with no regard for her own safety and had come back out, to the absolute shock of the spectators, with two young children holding onto her for dear life. They all stared in shock at the prospect of anyone coming out of the inferno alive, much less unscathed, with not a scratch on her.
One of the women present snapped out of their daze and stumbled forward to take the children from her arms. I looked on at the soot-stained faces of the bystanders and wondered what was making them so speechless. It had been a surprise to me as well that the heat of the blaze hadn't hurt me, but I was probably just so focused on getting to the kids that had been trapped, I hadn't noticed.
The woman looked over the children that were barely conscious, but for the most part, unharmed. She looked amazed as she looked at them and opened her mouth as she looked up, but as soon as she met my eyes, she gasped and scrambled back in fear.
Seeing the woman start, the men and a few of the other women stepped forward to protectively shield the woman with the children.
"What are you?" I didn't understand what had them so frightened. Hadn't I just saved two innocents?
I asked them what was wrong, and a few of them turned and ran, to I knew not where.
In the back of my mind, I knew that it wouldn't be wise to stay where I wasn't wanted, so I slowly backed away, planning on returning to the barn to hide until the sun rose and I could escape to the docks. The fire had finally been contained, so there was no need for me to stay.
On my way back to the barn, I heard a commotion behind me. I hadn't seen any reason for urgency, and I'd assumed no one would care where I went, but I was mistaken.
I saw three men round the corner, another four close behind. When I saw the gold, red, and silver of a soldier's uniform, I ran.
A million questions rang in my mind as they spotted me and I heard the pounding of footsteps, quick in their staccato. What did they want? Why was I being chased, and more importantly, by Vesuvian soldiers?
I turned multiple corners until I finally hit a dead end. This wasn't my city; I had no idea where to go. I couldn't go back to the barn; people had seen me emerge from there after I'd woken. It would probably be surrounded by now.
"We got her!" They jeered. My eyes widened in fear as I realized that the soldiers, and not a few of the men, had their weapons drawn and at the ready. I didn't need the nasty images that flashed through my mind to tell me what they planned to do with me.
"Please," I had no shame in begging for my life. Even if my future was unclear, I didn't want to be executed in an alley, especially when I didn't know what I'd done to deserve it. "What did I do?"
I tried to make my body language as nonthreatening as possible, but it made no difference as the men converged upon me, with whispers of 'demon' and 'volcano' permeating the air around her.
"Your eyes are that of a demon!" One man cried. "A cruel and powerful fiend lived on that volcano centuries ago, but tales are still whispered of Orinda, the-"
Another man shoved the speaker's arm. "Don't say her name!" He hissed, as if the name itself would cause the demon to emerge and wreak havoc down upon the city.
Something within me jumped at Orinda's name.
The first speaker shook his head. "We have to protect this city from the amber-eyed beast that almost destroyed Vesuvia not three-hundred years ago." His eyes were cold and the soldiers stepped forward.
So they were just going to kill me? For what? Then I remembered the woman who had stepped forward to take the children from me and the way her demeanor had instantly changed the moment she had met my gaze. Her reaction made no sense. That is, until I factored in that apparently the manic demon that had caused such destruction to the city had yellow eyes. Sofiya had once told me that she thought her mind was playing tricks on her, that my eyes had changed to a light honey color if I was in the heat for a long time or I stared at a campfire for too long.
Two soldiers grabbed me by my arms and forced my head down. I opened my mouth to tell them to let me go,
"If you don't want history to repeat itself, you'll release me right this second." A feminine, dangerously calm voice that was not my own spilled from my mouth and I started at my words. What history?
'My' comment seemed to spark a hasty reaction from the men as one raised his sword. I squeezed my eyes shut and waited for the blow.
'What a bunch of idiots...'
Before I could question the source from which the strange voice originated, a scorching wave of heat suddenly enveloped my body and I felt the ground tremble beneath my feet. The heat then disappeared as quickly as it had come and I felt the energy drain from my body as I collapsed to the ground.
For the second time in as many disturbed slumbers, I awoke to the sound of screams. Or scream, singular. My eyes shot open and darted to the source of the sound, widening in horror at what I saw.
Their faces were still intact, but there was pink and red matter everywhere, splattering the walls and staining the front of my travelling clothes with a morbid crimson design that looked to be more common in a butcher's shop than on the body of a wandering girl no older than sixteen. The insides of their skulls were exposed to the air, with blue veins standing out against the coral color of the surrounding skin. The brains that had once occupied the hollow of the mens' skulls was now nothing short of unrecognizable, with blood smeared across the ground around the obliterated remains of the mens' heads where they had fallen.
My stomach roiled as I realized that I was the one responsible for the grotesque carnage. The woman standing above the bodies seemed even more disgusted as she gazed in terror at the mens' forms. It took not more than five more seconds for her to pull herself together enough to look up, her eyes falling on my barely-conscious form. It didn't take her long to put the pieces together and, seeming to know that she wouldn't be able to restrain me all by herself, backed away in fear, turned her back and sprinted as fast as she could, probably to get more soldiers.
I tried to force my body to move, but my limbs felt so heavy; I wasn't sure I'd make it very far before they caught me.
'Maybe you should just stay put.' A bored voice rang in my head. 'Running from predators only makes them more excited for the chase.' The voice suddenly took on an elated quality. 'Then again, my volcano is just a hop and a skip away, and besides, staying here would mean you'd be imprisoned...and I know I certainly don't want that.'
"Shut up!" My hands pressed against my head, wanting to tear my hair out in frustration and fear. I didn't know where the voice was coming from, if it even existed in the first place. I'd just killed seven men and-
'No no no no no no...'The voice rambled psychotically, sending images of a caged animal flashing through my mind. 'I killed those men, I won't have you taking credit for my kills, understand?'
"There she is!"
I ran. If I had been afraid last night, it was nothing compared to the emotions I felt ripping at my heart. My legs quickly started to ache as I breathed harshly through my mouth. I pushed people uncaringly out of the way as I tried to dodge the pursuit of the guards. . Eventually I came to the north wall, stumbling over my own two feet in my haste to run past the guards. But as soon as they caught sight of their comrades giving chase to me, I was quickly made the target of yet more guards.
'Good grief, they certainly don't know when to give up, do they?' The condescending female voice in my head clucked her tongue and I could almost feel a smile in her voice as she spoke again. 'Not that I don't enjoy dishing out a good thrashing.'
I felt something sear through my palms and I looked down to find that my hands were generating sparks as the guards came closer, surrounding me in a circle, with my back to the volcano.
"Please, just stay away from me." I was getting tired of being chased. My body was weary and I felt a swirling within my torso, as if a hurricane was raging inside and was just waiting for a chance to get out.
I knew, in that moment, that I would do whatever was necessary to survive.
'Atta girl.' She whispered seductively, as if she were a tangible person speaking directly into my ear. 'Don't hesitate; kill them all.'
That certainly wasn't my first instinct. Flashes of the mangled corpses of my pursuers in the alleyway made me want to retch, but I knew I couldn't focus on the gruesome events just yet. The only instinct shoving its way into the forefront of my mind was to get the hell away from the city.
The guards started to advance on me, unsheathing their swords and demanding that I give myself up. I knew what they had planned, and I wouldn't stand for it. I would not be made a victim again.
I threw my hands up and tried to will the sparks to life. My wish was granted and gunpowder barrels sitting in a cart a few yards away spontaneously exploded, scattering debris on the onlookers and blowing away a few of the guards.
My gaze shifted back and forth rapidly like a caged animal, trapped with nowhere to go. Alarms were sounding, and I knew it was only a matter of time until every soldier in the city was here, forcing me into chains, then to the execution block.
'Enough!' She snarled, then she seemed to take a breath, only to huff in exasperation. 'This game is no fun at all if I can't enjoy it myself.'
The earth started to shake beneath my feet and a loud rumbling came from behind me. Somehow, I didn't have to turn and look to know that it was the Vesuvia's previously dormant volcano had awoken.
The soldiers, very suddenly, lost interest in my capture and started to run in the other direction. I could feel a feral grin tugging at the corners of my lips, relishing in the fear that seemed to instantly permeate the city in the a span of a few seconds. I didn't know whether to be reassured or horrified as I realized that the feeling of pleasure at the terror that was rampant in the atmosphere was not mine, but seemed to be coming from a dark corner in the far recesses of my mind.
The same place where the darkly sensual voice was radiating from.
Almost literally scared out of my mind, I scrambled towards the wall gates, where the guards were looking on in awe at the erupting volcano that was shooting masses of hot ash straight up into the darkening sky. I pushed past them, relieved when they paid me no mind, instead running in the direction of the central square. Tears burned their way into my eyes. Probably to help their families prepare for the coming catastrophe.
I ran farther, not noticing how the glowing cinders fluttering from the sky seemed to embrace me, shielding me from the raging environment, but not from the pangs of guilt that were tearing at my heart.
I could hear the maniacal laughter in my mind that was not a result of my own sense of humor. The voice seemed to think that my situation, the city's situation, was hysterical. I could feel her amusement at the fates of the unfortunate Vesuvians. I didn't know whether the volcano's eruption would be the end of the great city, but I was too frightened to care at the moment. It was glaringly obvious that the voice did not care about their fates either, but for very different reasons.
Finally, at a fourth of the way up the mountain, I couldn't run anymore, and I collapsed to my knees, my hands immediately going up to cradle my head in an attempt to block out the still-giggling specter that invaded my thoughts. I tried to tune it out; I just wanted it to stop.
All of a sudden, it did. The eerie laughter ceased, but I soon realized that I had traded one problem for a whole set of new ones.
My vision blurred, and I groaned at the stab of pain that seared through my mind at the drastic, sudden change. I saw nothing anymore but varying shades of orange, making the imposing volcano above me look like the mythological tree Yggdrasil of Norwegian legend, pulsating with vibrant flares of red and orange.
It was beautiful, and the thought startled me. How could something with such destructive potential be so enchanting?
'That could be you, you know.' The voice was back. 'Beautiful, powerful, hypnotic...And best of all, you'd never be hunted like a dog.'
I had to admit the idea sounded tempting, not having to run anymore. I didn't know what would've happened if I'd went back to Palladon after this, but somehow I doubted that my homeland would have that much of a different reaction than the Vesuvians had.
Something in my chest hardened as I stood, narrowing my eyes.
'So be it, then.' I thought. If being run out of the city was to be my reward for saving those children, then so be it.
'I won't be hunted anymore.'
Kaya calmly opened her eyes and took stock of her surroundings. Elsa was still asleep against the right side of the cave, her breathing inaudible over the howling of the wind outside.
The older woman looked away from Elsa as flashes of the time following her escape from Vesuvia returned to her. For months after she'd run, she'd had little to no contact with people, and she couldn't have been happier. She had finally been free to explore her powers to see what she could do with them. Although to be fair, she hadn't had to hide her entire life, unlike Elsa. Now that she thought about it, she didn't know a lot about what Elsa's situation had been. As far as she could tell, the late king and queen of Arendelle had been responsible for trying to tame and constrict Elsa's power, but Elsa didn't like to talk about it, and Kaya didn't ask. Kaya glanced at the sleeping woman.
She stayed with me. That was certainly a rare occurrence, from anyone, not just Elsa. Her gaze softened as she looked at the slumbering queen. Perhaps I shouldn't be quite so distant...It was that trait that got us in this mess to begin with, after all.
After fleeing Vesuvia and climbing the volcano to its peak, Orinda had started talking to her more and more inside her head. She was mostly ignored, but Kaya couldn't deny who, between the two of them, had more expertise in harnessing and controlling fire magic. As Kaya grew into her power, the more she understood Orinda's nature, and her methods. Not condone, perhaps, but understand.
Kaya tore her gaze from Elsa and looked out the entrance to the cave to the blizzard beyond. Neither of them would be bothered by the cold, but trying to travel in this weather would be foolish on any account.
Elsa stirred, making Kaya glance back over, even briefly considering closing her eyes again and pretending to still be unconscious. Discarding the thought almost as soon as it formed, she waited for Elsa to fully come to.
Even the usually stone-faced captain had to admit that the sleep-glazed look in the snow queen's eyes was adorable in and of itself. Elsa's rubbed her eyelids for a moment and then looked up to find Kaya's eyes on her.
"How're you feeling?" Kaya asked.
Elsa sat up from reclining position against the wall. "I should ask you that."
"It's nothing for you to worry about."
The queen looked as if she wanted to protest, but instead seemed to decide to keep silent.
A slightly awkward pause followed, and Kaya inwardly sighed. This whole thing was her own fault, after all. She might as well come out and apologize for it now, sooner rather than later.
"Queen Elsa, I-"
"I apologize."
The fire-user's eyebrows raised in bewilderment; she hadn't expected the queen to apologize first, if at all...After all, what had the queen to apologize for?
"I shouldn't have pushed you so hard." Elsa swallowed. "I had a feeling you weren't in the best condition, but I still-"
A warmer-than-normal hand covering both of hers stopped the Snow Queen's words in their tracks.
"Elsa, you have nothing to apologize for." Kaya softly stroked the back of the queen's hands with her thumb in reassurance. "I'm the one that should be sorry, I didn't-"
"What did you say?"
Kaya blinked. "What?"
"You...said my name."
The former commander of the Palladonian army blinked in astonishment, not knowing what to say.
"Well, I-..." She cleared her throat, trying to come up with something to say.
It's not like you to be at a loss for words, dear. Orinda giggled softly at her host's discomfort.
"Forgive me, Queen Elsa," Kaya bowed her head. "I was out of line, and I apologize."
"For shouting at me, or for calling me by my first name?" Elsa looked both pleased and amused at the thought of her stoic captain becoming so flustered.
"Both."
"You shouldn't be for either action, but I'll accept the apology if it'll make you feel better."
Kaya looked as if she was about to protest, but Elsa cut her off by holding up her hand.
"Captain, even when we first met, I'd felt a connection with you that I haven't felt for anyone before." Elsa blushed, realizing how her statement sounded, but carried on anyway. "And now I know why. That said, even though up until now our relationship has been strictly professional, I was hoping we could..."
Kaya wanted to bring the night that Elsa had woken up screaming from a nightmare into question, but the point seemed moot somehow.
"We can be friends?"
The fire user wasn't sure she'd had anyone ever actually ask to be her friend, let alone have any intention of following through with it. But Elsa had asked, and Kaya had no doubt that the queen wanted just that; friendship...from her.
What a concept. Orinda snidely remarked. Kaya had to reluctantly agree; she'd never really had any friends, save for Sofiya...and that had ended rather violently.
Elsa seemed to be taking Kaya's stunned silence the wrong way because she started to babble about how it was alright if they stayed colleagues instead.
Kaya held up a hand to stop the queen's rant. "Queen Elsa, I don't see any reason why we couldn't be...friends...if that's what you want."
"I just don't want the distance that you've always maintained between us to be there anymore...that's all." Elsa's shoulders slumped thinking about said distance.
Kaya thought for a moment. Even in Paladon, she'd never had any use for friends. Orinda, twisted as she was, was her constant companion, someone to talk to if she really needed to, which was rare. Catherine was the only one in her homeland that had actually cared for her emotional well-being. She'd always been convinced, innocent and naive as she was, that Kaya had more of a heart than she would ever let anyone know about.
"I think..." Kaya started, taking a deep breath. "That I could manage that."
The elated look on Elsa's face was worth the internal debate of possibly letting someone closer, just a little closer, to her heart.
