Eyes that are gray
Can't see behind the stains
Of blurring stars
And bleeding sun

I wish I could stay
Or silence the rain
The solid bars
Of all that's left undone

The White Birch, Breathe

They spent past two days in the Sky Haven Temple, having brought dragon bones and scales that Esbern requested. It was the first time Runa returned to the Akaviri fortress since she helped the Blades discover Alduin's Wall. She enjoyed the emptiness and calm of the Temple and liked talking to Esbern, but knew she wouldn't be able to stay long because of the other Blade.

Delphine. Runa admitted to herself that she tried to stay out of the woman's way during her stay in the fortress. Despite her earlier heated oaths to protect the first dragonborn to have appeared for centuries, the woman was making her feel uneasy – on one hand she seemed devoted to her, on the other - she kept scolding Runa for her lack of haste in following the lead that uncovering Alduin's Wall offered. It was late at night when Delphine cornered her again in one of the secluded chambers of the Temple.

"Dragonborn."

Runa winced. She didn't like being called that way and the woman's tone spoke volumes. She would be pressured again to make haste when she wanted to go her own pace.

"What is it, Delphine?" she asked, not looking at the woman and continuing to sharpen her sword.

"Have you already decided when will you consult the Greybeards on the information we discovered?"

Runa sighed.

"No, Delphine. My answer has not changed much since we spoke last… yesterday."

She heard the Blade's footsteps as she was coming closer and saw her boots on the floor next to her chair, but still she did not look up.

"You should not delay, dragonborn. It is most unwise with the threat we are facing." Delphine's voice was calm, but Runa could sense the traits of impatience.

"I am not ready" she replied, trying to keep calm "Would you have me charge headlong in a battle I'm not prepared for?"

"I would have you do anything in this regard, but I can see my words keep falling on deaf ears. I hope you realize what your reluctance might costs us. Innocent lives are at stake." Delphine chided her and Runa's fingers tightened around the whetstone until she thought her nails might break.

"There is also another matter I wanted to discuss with you." added the Blade, oblivious of her discomfort.

"And what would that be?"

"Your… choice of company."

Hearing these words, Runa finally looked at the other woman's face, her eyes narrowing.

"What do you mean exactly? Out with it!" she demanded.

Delphine looked back at her with a steel gaze, seemingly not concerned with her sudden anger.

"Very well. The dunmer that follows you like a shadow – I don't trust him and I think neither should you."

"I don't care if you trust him, Delphine" Runa answered "The only thing that matters is that I do, and I am not asking your opinion." That sounded harsh, but she didn't regret it, she wanted this conversation over. Delphine, however, did not seem to take the hint.

"I have my sources" she continued "I know of his past. And what I learned is enough for me to say that it would be… prudent to send him away. He cannot be trusted."

Runa got up quickly, her hand on the hilt of her sword.

"You…" she said through clenched teeth "You will stop telling me what to do. I am not a child that you can order around and mold as you will so that I fit your idea of a dragonborn better."

Delphine tried to interrupt, but Runa shushed her with a quick movement of her hand.

"I am not finished. I am grateful for your assistance and yes, I am fully aware of the situation, contrary to what you may think. But I will not allow you to tell me when should I act or who to trust. I am leaving at first light. I will return eventually, I know I have no other choice, but it will not be at your bidding."

She started walking towards the door but stopped before she crossed the threshold.

"As for Erandur, I trust him far more than I trust you." she added before leaving.

Delphine stood motionless, her mouth slightly agape, listening to the fading sound of the dragonborn's footsteps in the hallway. She was angry, yes, but her anger was mixed with a hint of newfound respect for the young woman. She initially thought the girl was too weak and unfit for the task that awaited her and was wondering more than once what cruel sense of humor drove the Gods to bestow the dragon soul gift on one so young and inexperienced. Today, however, she felt a tiny spark of hope that given extreme luck, they might succeed.

All of a sudden, she heard the sound of rustling clothes and her head immediately turned in the direction of the far dark corner of the chamber. She noticed a glimmer of red eyes before she saw the priest of Mara step into the dim light cast by the fireplace and realized he must have been here the whole time and witnessed her conversation with the dragonborn, without any of them knowing.

"You…" she said in disbelief, surprised that one as well trained as herself could not sense his presence.

The dunmer regarded her calmly, his hands crossed on his chest.

"It is commendable that you wish to assist the dragonborn anyway you can, but I'd strongly advise against pushing her this way." he said finally "Runa is not the type of person that responds well to such treatment."

Delphine's eyes narrowed dangerously.

"You speak as if you knew her well."

His lips crooked in a small smile.

"Apparently much better than you do." he went on "I would have you know that I understand your concerns. But I am no threat to her, of that I can assure you. I also want to assist her in any way I can."

Delphine's nostrils flared in anger. How dare he lecture her?

"I will not trust the word of a former daedric priest who killed Gods know how many innocents without hesitation and drew even more to madness." she spat.

His smile faded in split second.

"I see you know much about me. Very well" he said, his voice still maddeningly calm "let me then rephrase my initial request. I will not allow you to push Runa to her limits and order her around like a dog. I will not stand idly by and watch you pressure her and try to burden her with guilt so that she rushes to meet her fate before she is fully ready to do so. I am far older than you… and know the likes of you. Given opportunity, you would separate her from anybody else so that the Blades become the only ones she trusts. You would do anything to ensure your cause prevails, not thinking of how it might affect her, but you wouldn't care, as long as the means justify the desired end."

"Are you threatening me?" asked the Blade, barely controlling her own voice.

"No, I'm not, not presently, at least." said the priest, completely unaffected by her anger "But since you seem to know so much about me, I'd advise you use that knowledge. I may be a priest of Mara now, but I am sure you know that due to my past I have certain skills… ones that I might use if I notice the continuous pressure you put on Runa starts posing danger to her. I will not let any harm befall her, especially not from misguided allies."

The woman suddenly remembered to blink, and her brow furrowed. Despite her anger she sensed there was truth in his words.

"You seem very… protective of her, elf. I can't help but wonder why is that?" she asked.

"My reasons are my own, human" he replied "and you're the least likely person I'd discuss them with." with these words he left the chamber, leaving the confused Blade to her thoughts.

At dawn Runa gathered her belongings and made haste to leave the Sky Haven Temple as soon as possible. She hugged Esbern as she grew to like the old Blade with his peculiar ways. She was surprised to see that Delphine only nodded to her and left without a word, but was grateful to be spared another sermon and guilt tripping. Outside she took a deep breath and felt that her burden became at least a bit lighter.

"Where are we off to next?" she heard a familiar, heavily accented voice next to her.

"Hmmm" she wondered, smiling at her companion "Didn't you tell me once you were curious about the Dwemer? I thought we might head to Avatz… Avachnzel to see about returning the Lexicon we got from that Argonian back at Riften and see what we can learn."

Erandur smiled at her attempts to pronounce the Dwemer name correctly.

"Very well" he said "let's do that."

"That's it?" asked Runa.

"What did you expect?"

She sighed.

"I had another difficult conversation with Delphine last night, she scolded me again for being reluctant. I have to admit, I almost expected you to do the same… Sorry."

"I will do no such thing." he assured her.

"Why not?" she asked, eyeing him curiously.

"I don't think haste is recommended in such a grave matter" he explained "And I believe that by admitting you are not ready yet you are showing wisdom rare in one as young as you."

She laughed.

"One as young as me? I guess I'll treat this as a compliment. Am I making you feel old?"

It was his turn to smile. He found her smile contagious.

"No, but I'm still considerably older than you." he said.

'You make me feel younger than I have in years' he thought 'But I am still so much older than you… If we're lucky, I'll see your quest successful and witness you die a calm death of old age.'

This thought made him sad.

Avachnzel was a maze, its structure at least as complicated as trying to pronounce its name, at least according to Runa. It was the first time she has ever been inside a dwarven ruin and she had to admit that it was even more impressive than she expected. She kept looking around, amazed with Dwemer architecture and long forgotten technique that by far surpassed any accomplishments of the Empire in this field. But seeing the ghosts of former comrades of the Argonian who asked to return the Lexicon… that was creepy and took some time getting used to. It seemed that anytime she was getting more comfortable, the apparitions would pop out of nowhere to startle her with another display of their past endeavors.

They finally reached the Boilery and found the body of the last unfortunate adventurer. Just as she was nearing the pedestal where she assumed the Lexicon needed to be placed, she heard a puff of steam and watched the huge Dwemer centurion raise from the ground. It attacked with speed surprising for a construct of this size and it took a considerable effort to defeat it.

Runa looked back to check if Erandur was fine and saw him nod from the distance. She went to the pedestal and carefully placed the Lexicon in its niche. She waited anxiously, curious about what might happen, and was disappointed when nothing did. She started to turn around to voice her disappointment to her companion when a flash of light exploded beneath her eyelids, effectively blinding her. Her head hurt, and she fell to the ground digging nails in her own skin until she felt she drew blood.

And then it was only black. Black void and silence, and the pain was gone. Runa opened her eyes carefully, her breath still heavy from exertion. Her eyes widened in surprise as she watched her surroundings, untouched by the decay of countless centuries; it was almost as if she traveled back in time to witness Avanchnzel in its former glory. She looked around and found that she was alone in the huge chamber save for the motionless shape of the Dwemer Centurion she has defeated in what seemed only minutes ago. She shook her head and closed her eyes, but when she opened them nothing changed.

"There you are" she suddenly heard a strange voice, sounding deep like a hammer hitting the anvil, accompanied by scraping of nails on metal. She jumped, turning around to see where it was coming from and her eyes widened in disbelief as she watched the huge centurion move and walk towards her.

I killed it she thought, panicked.

Her first thought was quickly followed by another.

It speaks. By Gods, it speaks.

"Ah, it is quite allright, little human" she heard the metallic voice again "I am not going to hurt you."

Runa watched the huge machine for a while, her mouth agape.

"What… what are you?" she asked finally.

The construct stopped and looked down on her.

"I am the Lexicon… you might say." it replied. As if it explained anything.

"What do you mean?"

The centurion laughed. It was a strange sound, chaffing of metallic plates interrupted by the noise of steam exiting its form with every move.

"Where do you think the knowledge of the Lexicon comes from? Did you think it was artificial?"

"No, little human" it continued "it comes from memories. MY memories, to be exact, back from the time when I was still alive."

"You are… a Dwemer?" asked the girl, curiosity dulling her fear.

The huge machine nodded. It looked peculiar.

"Yes, I am… or rather I was… countless years ago." it replied "My spirit lingers long after my body has turned to ash."

Runa pondered its words for a while before asking "Where are we, exactly?"

"And… how am I supposed to call you?" she added, albeit hesitantly.

"Let me start with answering your second question. In life, I was called Radac. As for the first one… it is difficult to explain. Let's stick to… let's say we are on the border where minds and essences meet, mine and yours."

Runa furrowed her brow.

"I'm not sure I understand, Radac."

The machine released a big cloud of steam and Runa supposed it was meant to be a sigh.

"Part of me remained in the Lexicon after it has been taken away from Avachnzel." it said "By returning it to its true destination, you restored my spirit to its full shape and connected to me. That is also the reason why you can understand my words."

"This body" it gestured to itself "was the only one available here for me to use so that I might give my spirit visual form and talk to you. I admit am curious, little human… the others who connected with me went mad, they minds incapable of containing my knowledge. What is it that makes you different?"

"I guess that might be… because I am a dragonborn?" Runa said, not sure if the spirit would understand.

"Ah! A mortal born with a dragon soul! Yes, that might be the reason!" exclaimed the centurion, its metallic voice even louder than before "The legend was present even during my age. Forgive my excitement, but you're the first one I ever encountered… it's most exhilarating! But as you appeared… it means that your world must be in peril?"

Runa bit her lip.

"Yes" she admitted "Alduin, the World-Eater, has returned. Apparently, I'm expected to stop him."

The construct bowed its massive head down in her direction.

"You seem awfully insecure, little human." it mused.

"Does that surprise you? I am a human, and Alduin is a dragon, a dragon that is thousands of years old… how can hope to defeat him? I don't think it's even possible!" she was surprised at her own outburst, but then quickly understood this thought kept haunting her for months now and it was only now that she finally acknowledged it. That she doubted the whole quest from the start.

"Years of wisdom do not necessarily guarantee success, little human" said Radac "not if you see our example… after all, we have perished, and the other races we considered inferior have survived, have they not?"

Runa pondered the Dwemer's words for a while.

"What happened to your race?" she asked.

"Ah" replied Radac "finally the question that must be troubling those who survived when we have not… The lust for power, the driving need to transcend mortality and borders set by the beings superior even to us… Gods, as you call them… that has become our undoing. Let it not be yours, little human."

The young woman looked at the machine before her, deep in thought.

"Unlocking your full power is necessary, little human" it said "But with that much power always comes a danger… the question is whether you are strong enough to carry the burden of your own potential."

Runa sighed.

"I'm not so sure."

The centurion emitted another metallic laughter.

"Certainty often leads to your own doom. I cannot erase your doubts, but I will help you as I can – by granting you part of my knowledge and experience. It shall make your mortal shell stronger in dangers you will be facing. Use it well."

Runa wanted to ask the Dwemer more questions, but did not have the chance to do so, surprised by another sequence of blinding flash followed by pitch black void. When she came to, she saw Erandur's worried face above her and realized that he was seated on the stone floor and her head was placed on his lap.

"Mara be praised!" he exclaimed, his voice relieved "You are awake! Are you allright?" he asked, his hand touching her forehead gently. It was cold, and felt good.

"What happened?" he asked "One minute you were at the pedestal, and the next you were on the floor, unconscious. I could not wake you. I was… worried."

In truth, he was terrified. When he knelt next to her, she was cold and he could hardly feel her pulse. He didn't know how much time has passed when he was whispering prayers to Mara and trying to sustain the motionless dragonborn with all his knowledge of restoration magic, cursing himself that it was not enough.

"I'm not sure what happened" Runa replied, feeling that no words she might use were sufficient to explain what she experienced "but I feel… better now. Stronger."

"Can we leave this place?" she asked "I would love some fresh air."

Erandur nodded and said nothing, but she felt his arm supporting her back as he helped her up. Before they left the Boilery, Runa quickly turned around to see the huge metallic shape of Dwemer centurion on the ground.

"Whatever you did…" she whispered "thank you."


A/N: I'd welcome reviews and constructive criticism, as it helps any writer develop their skills, be it professional one or occasional one like myself. I do not appreciate flaming though...