A/N: I'm not sure if anybody is still interested in this story after so many years, but this is the case, here's the continuation. I recently re-read the story and it made me feel nostalgic, and hopefully I'll manage to finish it very soon.
In the temple of love: shine like thunder
In the temple of love: cry like rain
In the temple of love: hear the calling
And the temple of love is falling
Down
Sisters of Mercy, The Temple of Love
Erandur knew that they came to the temple of Mara for the first time only for his sake; that Runa did it because he mentioned once that he'd always wanted to make the pilgrimage to Riften, but never managed to do it. He was deeply moved that she remembered, but in the end he felt he failed to thank her properly.
"Thank you… you've made me quite… happy." he stammered, his heart beating loud enough that he could hear it.
Runa brushed her fingers lightly across his cheek. Erandur drank in her face framed in coppery locks, her pale, delicate skin, the laugh lines, her grey eyes, her full lips, now trembling ever so slightly in a bright smile. He was always amazed with her smile, how it seemed to bring forth the inner light in her, the light that was always there, yet dimmed by shadows too often.
"You know you don't need to thank me, not for such small a thing. I'm happy we came here."
Now they were back in Riften, and he knew it was still for him. He was sure that the incident at Whiterun had a lot to do with their visits to the Temple. Since his outburst at Jorrvaskr he was uneasy around Runa, feeling guilty no matter how many times she was telling him everything was fine. He kept himself in check, afraid to touch her; she noticed how he suddenly distanced himself from her and was seeking ways to reassure him. And so once again it was her trying to make him feel safe, not the other way round, he thought bitterly.
Not only did she allow him to complete his pilgrimage, but accepted the quest to spread Mara's gift following visions bestowed by the goddess on the head priestess, Dinya. Erandur followed Runa on the trail of the visions, witnessing the many faces of love, helping each of them gain completion, fulfillment. When asked, Runa simply stated that she felt good seeing some light during these dark times; that it gave her hope. He saw that it brought her joy, but knew that the underlying cause of her actions was to give him hope, to show him that he was making progress on his road to forgiveness. He was grateful for that, but his guilt remained. If not for the promise he made, an oath to support and guard her, Erandur thought he might have left. He felt as though he was a danger to Runa, fearing his dark instincts would emerge from the past once again, and if he ever hurt her again, he wasn't sure he could live with it. She was becoming too important to him, stirring up feelings he never knew existed, and desires that he thought buried along with his past self. Erandur's face hardened, his resolve renewed; he would protect her, even if it meant protecting her from himself.
His eyes now followed Runa speaking to the priestess, telling her of the final stage of their mission. She must have felt his gaze upon her, since she turned her head in his direction and flashed him a quick smile before going back to her conversation with Dinya.
"You are truly blessed by the Lady." said the priestess.
"I hope your journey showed you that one should never give up on Her gift." she added, taking Runa's hands in hers. Erandur noticed the dragonborn suddenly stopped smiling and bowed her head.
"Yes, it did… though I am yet to discover what to make out of this knowledge" Runa replied, barely above whisper "We'll take our leave now, Dinya. May the goddess watch over you."
"And may she watch over you, my friend."
When they were about to leave, Dinya spoke again.
"Dragonborn, allow me to talk to my Brother alone, if you will."
Runa nodded.
"Take your time. I'll wait for you at the inn, Erandur." she said and left the temple. Erandur watched her go, staring at the closed door for a while after she left.
"Brother." Dinya's voice brought him back to reality. He turned towards her.
"What did you want to talk to me about?" he asked.
The priestess smiled lightly.
"Just a word of advice, if you are willing to listen."
"Brother, you helped the dragonborn spread Mara's gift across this land, heeding the visions the Lady bestowed on me." she continued when he didn't react. "Let me tell you this: I don't need a vision to know that it is never wise to deny your heart what it truly desires."
He looked at her in silence, his brow furrowed in disbelief.
"What are you talking about?" he asked finally.
"I think you know, Brother. I see the way you look at her, when you think nobody is watching."
Erandur turned his head to look at Mara's statue, his gaze haunted.
"You know nothing of me." he whispered. "Nothing of what I did."
"I know the dragonborn trusts you with her life, it is obvious for everyone to see." she said, putting her hand on his shoulder. "And I believe this trust to be well placed."
He shook her hand off.
"Then you know I will not betray this trust. Not ever again." he said and turned to leave.
"Wait!" Dinya grabbed his arm, stopping him. "Brother… do you really think that tormenting yourself will please the Lady? That she is content to see you suffer, deny yourself what you truly want? She embodies love and mercy and she would see you at peace!"
He looked at her again, and the priestess was taken aback by the amount of sadness in his eyes.
"I don't deserve it." he said quietly and left.
Dinya remained motionless and shook her head.
"Have you asked yourself what the dragonborn deserves?" she said to herself, as he could no longer hear her.
In all her life, Runa never suspected she could be jealous of one of the Divines. After Erandur defended her at Jorrvaskr and then burned her, he remained distant and it pained her. She had taken him to Mara's temple in Riften, hoping he'd find strength to forgive himself for his past and for how he hurt her. She'd tried talking to him about it many times, struggling with words, trying to convey that she at least had nothing to forgive him for. She recalled how Erandur would hold her when she had a nightmare and longed to restore their previous closeness. Now that he was so distant, she truly understood the weight of Dinya's words – one should never give up on Her gift. Runa was wondering if she was so easy to read that the priestess guessed the true nature of the feelings she harbored for the man who as always stood by her, but now kept his distance at all times. After their first visit to the temple, she had asked Erandur about what his faith truly meant to him.
"Finding Mara was the greatest moment of my life." He had said with a smile. "I'll never forget the warmth that spread through my heart when we embraced."
Upon hearing his words, Runa couldn't help but feel a stab of jealousy, quickly followed by sadness, since now that he seemed so far away, she finally understood, but knew he was out of reach. It felt as though Erandur's devotion to Mara was the only kind of love he needed, and Runa was saddened at the thought that he'd likely never reciprocate her feelings. She cherished their friendship, but couldn't help wondering if she was strong enough to endure being only that, yet another burden she wasn't sure she was ready to bear. Still, she couldn't stand the idea of being parted from him. She shook her head, letting bitter thoughts overcome her. As a dragonborn, she didn't lack attention but didn't trust the ones expressing their interest, convinced they didn't want her, but the symbol, that they'd only use her to their ends. It was irrelevant; there was only one that captured her interest, only one who truly knew her, but he was also the only one she couldn't have.
At present, they were on the road again, having been summoned from Riften by the Companions after Vilkas and Aela retrieved all shards of Wuuthrad. They ventured into Ysgramor's tomb to return the legendary axe and cleanse Kodlak's soul of lycanthropy. Runa smiled, remembering Farkas reining in his fear of spiders and accompanying her to the chamber where they fought the wolf spirit of the former harbinger. She was moved when she saw Kodlak's spirit, but also amazed when he suggested her as the new harbinger of the companions. Runa declined, named the one she knew would be the best possible choice, despite his loud protests, and to her joy, the rest of the inner circle applauded her suggestion. She never wanted to be the harbinger; she had her own destiny she needed to face. Still, she thought with another smile, being the little sister of the harbinger could have its perks. Her gaze travelled ahead to where Farkas, still flabbergasted by his new role, walked together with Athis, who was teasing him mercilessly. She was convinced Athis' time would come too one day, though likely he would face opposition at first if he ever were to be named harbinger.
Runa remembered the rough treatment the dunmer experienced in Windhelm and how it appaled her; she had met jarl Ulfric and for the first time she didn't hesitate to use her station to argue for the better living conditions and respect for the dark elves. It didn't help; Ulfric and his followers treated the dunmer with barely hidden contempt that not even the dragonborn could change. It had taken place still before she met Erandur and she had not returned to Windhelm since, worried how her companion would take the situation of his brethren. A small smile graced Runa's face when she imagined the Stormcloaks' horrified expressions if they ever learned that the mighty dragonborn, the epitome of Nord honor and glory who they had been trying to sway to their side for months, only had eyes for one of the race they so despised. Her smile faded as quickly as it appeared; if only she could hope for Erandur to see her the way she yearned for, she'd gladly rub it in Ulfric's face, for she thought the jarl could never strive to be a man even half as good as the priest of Mara.
It wasn't that Runa didn't love her homeland; she loved it fiercely, and recognized part of Ulfric's efforts. Still, she couldn't understand how a cultured man like him couldn't understand what for her was obvious, though she was a commoner who grew up in a small settlement in the mountains. Runa had never known her mother, and her father, a grim, solitary man, was left to raise the girl on his own. He was a former legionnaire left with many injuries and his body finally gave up during a harsh winter. Runa was taken in by the family of the local mill owner and travelled a lot with him, delivering wood to many places in Skyrim. It was during her travels that she met many people who had a deep, true love for the harsh land, even though they were born elsewhere, or ones whose parents settled in the land of the Nords and they never knew any other homeland. Runa felt she lacked education, but she knew in her heart that all who loved Skyrim and were ready to defend her were equal regardless of their race and she wished Ulfric could see it. Then again, maybe he did, she mused, only he'd chosen to ignore it to appeal to the ones who followed the Stormcloak cause. Ever since she learned she was a dragonborn, she travelled even more and learned a lot, and shared the concerns of those who feared that if Skyrim gained independence and seceded from the Empire, it could fall prey to the growing threat of the Aldmeri Dominion.
"Are you allright?" Erandur's deep, raspy voice interrupted her musing. "You look concerned."
"You can always tell, can't you?" Runa smiled briefly; she didn't notice when he fell into step with her.
The priest shrugged, his serious expression unchanged.
"I just know you well. Is something bothering you?"
"It's nothing important." Replied Runa, shaking her head. Erandur only nodded, his eyes once again trained on the horizon, and she sighed quietly, feeling a painful clench in her hear as she watched the dark, stern profile she had come to love.
"You don't know me as good as you think, it seems." She whispered, knowing he couldn't hear her.
