Chapter 3

Disclaimer: He, Harry Potter, is not mine. Don't you get it?

I won't do this too often, (maybe every couple of chapters) but I just wanted to reply to some of these reviews I've gotten… (Anyone who reviewed gets a virtual hug though!)

RavieGrint – Glad you still like! I really have fun writing the Dorcas bits 'cause she so much like me…haha!

Stella CRUNK – Oh, you just wait…you'll see what happens…

full time freak – You'd better like my writing! Hehe, nah, course I realize you're busy with grade nine, but have you been getting more homework than me or something? Glad you still read my stories though. That's all that matters…

MahoganyEmbersIsAGobstopper – How did you come up with that name? Hehe, yes, Lily's stalker has her reasons…thanks to RavieGrint (winks)

"Why is Evans hiding under that desk?" asked James Potter curiously as he looked over to the opposite side of the library.

"She likes to chew the gum that's under there," remarked Remus Lupin dryly, as he tried to write his essay whilst fighting off Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew at the same time.

"Moony, be serious."

"Get away Padfoot! Write your own essay! Huh? Oh, she's hiding from that Annapelle Barson girl; see the one with blonde curls?"

"Why would she hide from her? She looks like a sweet kid," said James, watching Annapelle chat to Emmeline and Dorcas.

"Maybe, but she's stalking Lily," said Remus, slapping Peter's hand.

"How dare she! I am the only one who is allowed to stalk –!"

"Shut up, do you want us to get thrown out?" hissed Remus, with a glance at Madam Pince, who was watching them between the shelves.

"Sorry," James muttered. He looked back over at Annapelle. "What's that book she has? Do second years get a different textbook these days?"

"No," said Remus in a tone that suggested that James was stupid to think such a thing. "That's Annapelle's little black book."

Sirius' head shot up so quickly, he cricked his neck. Rubbing it, he asked in an amazed tone, "A second year has a little black book? Wow, she's a bit of a –"

Remus looked at Sirius and sighed. "Although it sounds like that, it's not. It's the book that she uses to write everything about Lily in. So that someone will like her."

James' expression turned eager. "Everything about Lily Evans?" he said, apparently ignoring the last remark.

"Everything about Lily Evans," repeated Remus. "Now will you let me get on with my essay?"

"Sure!" said James enthusiastically. He grabbed Sirius' arm. "Come on. We have a new mission."

"If it's a prank, I can't do one on an empty stomach," moaned Sirius.

"It's not a – Or is it? I dunno," James said. "I'm hungry too; let's go to the kitchens."

"Yay!" cried Sirius and he ran off in the direction of the kitchens, pushing a group of second-year Ravenclaws out of the way in the process. He reached up and tickled the green pear upon reaching the painting of a bowl of fruit, and he and James stepped in to be greeted by hundreds of house-elves.

"Just some snacks," said James.

"One hundred profiteroles!" yelled Sirius. The house-elves hurried off to make the orders and soon both Sirius and James had their bags full of profiteroles and snacks.

"Why did you want one hundred profiteroles?" asked James, as they headed to Gryffindor common room.

"I dunno," replied Sirius. "I just feel like profiteroles."

James raised his eyebrows but said no more.

They reached the portrait hole. "Sour muffins," said Sirius in a bored tone as he bit into a profiterole.

The Fat Lady smiled and the portrait swung open. As they scrambled through, Sirius said, "She must have gotten pretty bored to think of sour muffins as the password."

James nodded in agreement.

Sirius pushed a few third-years out of the way and slumped into an armchair by the fire. Emptying his bag onto the floor, Sirius picked up a pile of profiteroles and began stuffing his face with them.

James shook his head with disgust at Sirius' pig-like feeding, when the portrait hole swung open.

"Annapelle Barson!" cried James, standing up and rubbing his hands together.

Annapelle jumped in surprise and dropped her bag. Books and quills spread out over the floor. Blushing deeply, Annapelle flew down to the ground to pick her things up. James kindly helped her.

As he handed her the last quill, Annapelle went even redder and muttered, "Thank you."

Little did she know, James had picked up a small, black notebook and was slipping it into his pocket.

"Didn't mean to scare you, Annapelle," said James, although he had. "Just wanted to know if you take Herbology or not." Lame excuse, he thought in his head.

"Do I! I love Herbology, it is the best subject!" gushed Annapelle. She went on more quickly, "I'm much better at it than Potions, you would not believe what I do in Potions! Oh, dear, the amount of people in my class I've set on fire…Professor Slughorn thinks I must have set a Hogwarts record! It's amazing really, I've set Thomas Hew on fire, Antonio Pratie, Sally Grenty…"

As she listed more names, James began to tune out. He was nodding absentmindedly, when suddenly Annapelle wasn't saying anything. Snapping back to reality, James saw that Sirius had thrown a profiterole into her mouth to shut her up. Mouthing 'thank you' at Sirius, James put his arm around Annapelle.

Annapelle swallowed the whole profiterole with a loud gulp.

"It was so nice talking to you, Annapelle," said James, hoping she wouldn't hear the sarcasm in his voice. "Now, my friend and I must be off, so I shall be seeing you." James grabbed Sirius' arm and tried to lead up the boys' staircase, but Sirius pulled out his wand and summoned the profiteroles still on the ground. He captured them in his bag and raced up after James.

As soon as they had closed the door, James began running around the room, yelling, "YES! Padfoot my friend, we have it! Annapelle's stalking notebook with everything we need to know about my beautiful Lily! This is brilliant!"

"Uck it oer ere," said Sirius, with his mouth full of profiteroles.

"No," said James, claming down and sitting on his bed. "I will read it first."

Sirius clambered onto the bed behind him and chewed his profiteroles expectantly.

James wiggled his fingers and went to open the book. It wouldn't open.

"What the…?" said James, trying to pry open the book. It wouldn't budge. "GOD-DIDDLY-DAMN IT!" he yelled, throwing the book to the ground.

"Alm own Ongsie," said Sirius.

"No! I had the book right in my hands and I can't open it!" said James. He stared at the book maliciously. "I s'pose we'll have to burn it so no-one else finds out things about my Lily."

"O! Oo an't! Hen hu'll hever head it!" said Sirius.

"You're right," said James. He began to pace. "Then we'll just have to ask Annapelle discreetly how to open her book."

"Iseet is i iddle hame," said Sirius proudly. He was still chewing profiteroles.

"I'll leave it to then," said James. "We'll do it tomorrow, at breakfast, got it?"

"Hight," replied Sirius, nodding solemnly.

"I'll read this book if it's the last thing I do," said James, staring at it on the ground. "I will read it."

.x.x.x.

Um, if you wanna know, I say God-diddly-damn a lot myself. I got it from The Simpsons originally, you know, Flanders… So, you can keep on thinking that I'm weird, 'cause I am! And God-diddly-damn proud of it!