Chapter two:
The Name Game
Dot anxiously paced back and forth across the waiting room floor. She and her brothers had been waiting hours to find out who this baby belonged to. And still, no results.
What the heck was taking so long with that stupid test she wondered. This was a cartoon for crying out loud! Things should've been going faster than they did in real life! Instead they seemed to be going slower. And all this waiting was begining to drive her nuts.
She paused and took a deep breath, telling herself to relax. That all this would be over soon enough. And that she just had to stay focused till then.
They would find out who this baby belonged to and take her back to her family. Then they would be happy, and she would be happy. And they'ed all smile, The End.
It sounded like a happy enough ending anyway. And yet, she found herself wondering, was it really the ending she wanted?
She had felt this strange sort of connection between herself and this baby since the moment she first saw her. Maybe it was the symbol on the back of her hand. Maybe it was the fact that they looked so much alike. Or simply because she was a Warner. Maybe it was something altogether different. Whatever it was, it already felt as if something would be missing if she wasn't there.
But what was she even thinking about? It wasn't as if she could actually keep the baby. Even if she didn't have to go back to her family, there was no way she could handle raising her.
Babies needed to be fed, changed, and washed, all the time! Plus you have to keep an eye on them nearly constantly! Then there was the crying of course. Babies could cry for hours if they wanted. Just thinking about it made her ears hurt. There was no way she could deal with having a baby around Dot decided.
Her resolve proved to be weak however. When she looked at the tiny Warner baby in her brother's arms, Dot found herself reconsidering everything.
The young Warner did seem to be a fairly quiet baby. And come to think of it, she wouldn't have to take care of her all by herself. She had Yakko and Wakko! And they already had experience from taking care of her when she was little. With their help, she could surely handle it!
But with a baby around, would she still be able to do the things that made her who she was? After all, you couldn't go bouncing around the tower like a pinball or any of that other stuff with a baby around. And you couldn't just go outside to wreak havoc when you're too busy being worried about a baby she thought with a sigh.
Why was she even having this stupid debate with herself in the first place? After all was said and done, the baby would still have to go back to her family. Thinking about all this had just been a big waste of her time she thought as she finally stopped pacing and took a seat with a sour faced expression.
Seconds later, the waiting room door came open, and out stepped Hello Nurse. She wore a dark green skirt, a light green blouse, with a long white lab coat on top. She wore her hair up, just like Kim Novak did in Vertigo. And a pair of glasses completed the professional look. The Warners started to rise from their seats as she approached, but she quickly stopped them. "I wouldn't advise standing." She said.
"Is something wrong with the baby or something?" Dot asked in a concerned tone.
"No, nothing like that. It's just that, how do I put this... The labs computer system has found one matching genetic profile so far. And, well, it's...yours." Hello Nurse said.
"What?! Me?! But that's impossible! Some bird just brought her! There has to be some kind of mistake!" Dot said.
"I'm sorry Dot. But I've already checked the test results several times. And I came up with a one hundred percent match every time." Hello Nurse said.
"But how can that be? I'm too young and too cute to have a baby!" Dot wailed.
"Well, for what it's worth. I still believe your story. After all, I've seen you around the studio pretty much every day this year. And I know there's no way you could've been carrying a healthy normal sized baby, all that time, without gaining at least a little weight." Hello Nurse said.
"Thanks, I appreciate the vote of confidence." Dot said. "I guess I'll be going now." She said as she got up to leave.
"Wait a second Dot. I know this might not be the best time for me to bring this up. But since you're a minor, I'm legally required to inform you of your option to put the baby up for adoption." Hello Nurse said.
"Put her up for adoption? I can't do that to her! There's no telling how long she might stay in the system! Or where she'll end up at for that matter!" Dot said. "What if the people who adopt her turn out to be bad parents! What if they decide they don't want her anymore after a while and send her off to some smelly orphanage where they make all the kids eat unidentifiable mushy glop and force them to make gym shoes all day! What if everyone has a nineteenth century English accent like in Oliver Twist!" She exclaimed.
"Relax Dot, I'm just informing you of your options." Hello Nurse said. "Now if you wish to maintain custody of the baby, you'll just need to fill out some paperwork, and have your legal guardian sign it as well. However, seeing as how you don't have one, I can take care of that part myself if you like." She said as she stepped behind her desk and took out the necessary papers. She handed the papers to Dot and they both took a seat on opposite sides of the desk.
As Dot sat there holding the papers, uncertainty suddenly started to creep into her heart. She asked herself if she was really doing what was right for the baby, and wondered if bringing her home was really fair to Yakko and Wakko. After all, they would have to help take care of her.
She looked to her brothers as if to ask, 'is this ok with you?' They both nodded reassuringly, sensing that she was seeking their approval. Dot returned to the papers with a more certain expression on her face. It quickly faded however.
"Something wrong?" Yakko asked.
"I just realized she doesn't have a name yet." Dot said. "I can't finish this without one. I need a naming dictionary or something."
"Here, you can use mine." Hello Nurse said as she handed her a naming dictionary. Dot thanked her, then immediately opened the book.
"Now let's see, I could name her Debbie, or Rosemary. Maybe something a little shorter like Beth or Lisa. Or maybe something that stands out a bit more. Like Sasha, or Carolina." Dot said as she thumbed through the book.
"This is gonna take a while, isn't it?" Yakko said to his brother. Therer was no response however, and he quickly realized why. Wakko was already out cold. And oh how he envied his brother at that moment.
"Maybe I should just head back to the tower and wait for the next scene to start." Yakko said to himself. Then he sat the baby next to Wakko on the bench and started to slip away.
After taking no more than a singal step, Yakko immediately noticed that something was weighing down his leg, and looked to find that he had somehow been shackled to the bench he was sitting at. He sighed in defeat, then returned to his seat.
An hour passed. Then another. Then another. Then half an hour. Yakko was starting to get more than a bit restless. And he wasn't the only one.
"This is going nowhere." Dot sighed.
"Ya got that right." Yakko commented snidely.
"This is serious Yakko! Having a suitable name is very important to a child's psychological development!" Dot said. "At least that's what it says in this naming dictionary anyway. Can you think of any good ones?" She asked.
"Nope." Yakko replied.
"Oh come on Yakko, help me out here. Pleeeeeease." Dot pleaded, stretching out the word please in the cutest manner possible.
"Fine, fine, I'll help." Yakko said. "How about Paige? It's easy to say. Plus it's short, so she'll learn how to spell it faster." He suggested.
"Well, that is true. But I just don't think it goes with the last name Warner." Dot said.
"I do." Yakko said.
"Well I don't." Dot countered. Yakko merely sighed.
"Ok, what about Dorothy? That goes with Warner." Yakko said.
"It does. But it's just not cute enough, ya know." Dot said.
"Alright then, what about Casey? That's a cute name, and it goes with the last name Warner." Yakko said.
"Yeah, but I know someone named Casey. And she makes me sick." Dot said.
"I see." Yakko said with more than a hint of irritation in his tone. "Well, what do you think of the name Kimmie then?" He asked.
"It's just not what I'm looking for." Dot said.
"Well just what are you looking for?" Yakko asked in an exasperated tone.
"I was thinking maybe something that starts with an a." Dot replied.
"Okay, how do you feel about the name Amanda then?" Yakko asked, grasping at straws.
"She doesn't look much like an Amanda to me." Dot said.
"How about Alice?" Yakko asked.
"Nah."
"Amy?"
"Nope."
"Audrey?"
"Negative."
"Alexis."
"Nugatory."
"Antonina?"
"Nay captain." Dot said in a mock Scottish accent.
"Well maybe she can just borrow one of your names, miss Angelina Contessa Luisa!" Yakko snapped.
"Ha, ha, very funny Yakko!" Dot said sarcastically. "Although, that's not such a bad idea actually. In fact, I think I'll do just that! I'll name her Angelina after me, and give her a few back up names just in case!" She said as she rapidly wrote out the baby's name.
"Done! Your name is now officially, Angelina, Carolina, Debbie Rosemary Beth! But we'll just call you Annie for short." Dot said with a smile as she held up the birth certificate so Annie could see it. "Now all I have to do is figure out what day you were born." She added.
"Maybe this copy of the author's notes can help." Hello Nurse said as she took a large red book from behind her desk. She flipped through the pages till she found what she was looking for.
"Here it is. According to this, she was born on September tenth. The same day Animaniacs premiered in the area our author grew up in." She said with her finger on the page.
With that, Dot completed the document and handed it to Hello Nurse. Hello Nurse signed it and printed out a file copy. Then gave the original back to Dot.
"Your name is Natasha?" Dot asked when she saw Hello Nurse's signature.
"It is indeed. I had it legally changed just last month. I felt I would get more respect with a name like Natasha. I've been thinking about doing it for a few years now actually." Natasha said.
"So that's why you had a naming dictionary." Dot said.
"Exactly! But enough about me. You're going to be late for your next scene if you don't get moving soon." Natasha said.
"Ok. I guess we'll see you later then." Dot said. Then she got up and walked over to Wakko. "Hay Wakko, wake up. We're leaving." She said as she shook him a bit. He refused to budge at first, so she shook him again. That time he opened his eyes and drug himself to his feet. He stood there wobbling for a moment or so, then fell flat on his face. Dot and Yakko looked down at their fallen brother and found an empty syringe marked, 'Heavy Sedative' sticking in his rear end.
"Wow, that's never happened before, has it?" Yakko asked.
"Not to my knowledge." Dot replied.
"I thought as much." Yakko said. Then he threw Wakko over his shoulder and carried him outside. Dot followed closely behind carrying Annie, but stopped at the door to say a few parting words.
"By the way, I'd appreciate it if you'd keep this little visit of ours between the five of us for now. I'd like to avoid a scandal for as long as possible." Dot said before making her exit.
(A.N) Please excuse any inaccuracies regarding legal matters referenced in this chapter. I actually know very little about these sorts of laws, so I simply pieced something together based on things I've heard over the years.
On a separate note, I've got a little game for anyone who's interested. There are subtle rimes hidden here and there in certain chapters. See how many you can pick out as I post them.
