Author's Notes: Oh my gosh, I cannot begin to say how sorry I am for the terribly long delay for this chapter. I have no excuse, not really, other than to say that college football started a few weeks ago and in the fall, football is pretty much my life. I hope you enjoy this chapter-it's wordy (maybe too much so) as I tried to explore a bit more of the characters' inner thoughts and feelings.

Thank you again for the wonderful reviews, the follows and favorites. I really do appreciate it all! I'm working on the next chapter as we speak (err, type?) so hopefully the wait won't be anything like this past time!

On to the chapter...


Hours passed as Nathan and Haley sat at the bar, their drinks ignored as they continued to talk. The ice had melted long ago, turning their once potent drinks into a watery mix but neither noticed. Chase had stopped by once or twice, but quickly realized it was a futile gesture. Haley and Nathan were wrapped up in one another, and although Chase might have felt a slight pain at the ease with which Haley opened up to a complete stranger, he was mostly relieved she was talking to someone.

For the first time in months, Haley felt free from the weight of the pain that haunted her. She told Nathan about Chris—how she loved him and thought he loved her, how insecure she felt in the relationship as Chris always seemed to flirt with the girls who flocked to his shows at Tric and how he would tell her it was in her head, and how devastated she was when she walked in on Chris and one of the nameless girls from Tric. She opened herself up in ways she hadn't in months, and Nathan listened as she revealed more and more about her failed relationship, the ever present ache in her heart easing slightly as she laid bare her vulnerabilities.

In as long as he could remember, Nathan was enjoying talking to a woman with no ulterior motive in mind. No scheming to get her in bed, no plotting how to leave in the morning with no further commitment or obligation on his end. It was a very different experience for a guy used to getting whatever woman he wanted whenever he wanted. In the past, he never cared to listen to the women. Hell, half of the time he was lucky if he remembered their names. He was only interested in getting them into bed, and he wasn't afraid to use whatever persona necessary to achieve that. Arrogant, self-assured basketball star? Sensitive, shy man just looking for the right woman? Not interested asshole just out for a good time? He didn't care, not about the women and not about himself. As long as he got what he wanted in the end, everything else was collateral damage.

But Haley was making him rethink everything. He didn't want to play her, he didn't want to use her and then leave the next morning. For maybe the first time in his life, Nathan was content to just sit and talk with a woman. He couldn't deny that he wanted more with Haley, the thought of kissing those full lips had him shifting uncomfortably in his seat, but it wasn't his end goal. He wanted to learn everything about her. Her favorite colors, her favorite movies, what made her laugh, what her childhood dreams were. He didn't think there was anything about Haley he didn't want to know.

It was an odd feeling, one that Nathan had never experienced before. Even with his last relationship, there were never any true feelings on either end. Nathan liked having a gorgeous model as a girlfriend, Rachel enjoyed the perks of dating a popular NBA star. Nathan Scott didn't do emotions, he was generally a selfish asshole only concerned with himself, but one conversation with Haley was turning his worldview upside down.

"Hales, you know it's not your fault, right?"

Nathan felt as if that had been his constant refrain for the last couple of hours. The more Haley told him about Chris, the more he hated a man he had never met. Before him was this warm, funny, bright woman who also happened to be the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. He couldn't understand what the hell this jackass was thinking when he cheated on Haley. The feelings of jealousy and anger that swept through him as Haley detailed her relationship with her ex-boyfriend were something Nathan had never really experienced before, but he didn't care. It had been a strange afternoon ever since he sat down at the bar, but Nathan wouldn't trade it for anything.

"I guess," Haley said as her finger traced designs on the wooden countertop of the bar. "Brooke tries to tell me that all the time. Sometimes I believe her, but sometimes I don't. It's hard when…."

Haley trailed off as she realized that the voice was silent and had been for hours. Having grown accustomed to the voice in her head that constantly taunted her with reminders of how she had screwed up so much over the last six months, it shocked her when she realized that she hadn't heard the voice since shortly after she and Nathan started talking. Even more shocking was the fact that Haley had sobered up quite awhile ago. The voice was always at its worst when she was sober and defenseless against its cruel taunts. It surprised her so much she couldn't prevent the snort of disbelief, blushing slightly when Nathan laughed.

"Was that a snort?" he managed to ask between laughs.

God, she is adorable, he thought to himself. He didn't even bother to question his atypical behavior. He didn't do "adorable" or "cute" or "quirky," all words that could describe Haley. All his previous dealings with women were one-sided with little to no feelings involved. The woman beside him was different, made him want to be someone worthy of her. The once-strange feelings he had experienced from the moment he met Haley now felt natural, as if he had known her all his life. Once they started talking, Nathan decided to stop questioning his unusual reaction to Haley and just go with it.

Whatever was happening between them felt right and he wanted it to last for as long as he could.

"No!" Haley exclaimed. "It was more of a … of a… oh, shut up," she said as Nathan continued to laugh. "Fine! It was a snort. Happy now?"

Nathan smirked as Haley's blush deepened. "You know it, Hales. What caused that oh so charming and ladylike snort? I hope you weren't thinking of me because that wouldn't speak well of my extreme manliness, now would it?" he said as he flexed his biceps.

Shaking her head at his gentle teasing, Haley marveled at the familiarity that had developed between them in such a short period of time. Having grown up with six older siblings, all of whom were fairly gregarious in his or her way, Haley had been relatively quiet as a child, oftentimes lost amongst the sea of older James children. It usually took her awhile to open up to new people, much less cute guys, so the fact that she was so easily talking—even flirting!—with Nathan was just another addition to the weirdness of the afternoon.

Except it didn't feel weird at all, not really. It seemed natural to talk and flirt with Nathan as if she had been doing it all her life. If she wasn't stone-cold sober, and had been for quite awhile, Haley would swear it was all the doing of the alcohol.

"So what was it?" Nathan's prompting broke Haley from her thoughts.

Haley shrugged, unsure about revealing the reason. Although she had shared more with Nathan in the few hours she had known him than she had with her best friend over the last six months, she was still cautious about divulging too much. Intellectually, she knew that the voice inside her head was merely a reflection of the guilt and insecurity she felt and that once she dealt with everything, it would more than likely fade away for good. Explaining that, however, was a different story. Explaining the voice meant telling Nathan about her mom and Haley just wasn't ready for that.

Shoving aside any thought of her mom, Haley focused on Nathan and whatever was developing between them. She didn't know what it was; all she knew was that she wanted it to continue for as long as it could.

"It was nothing," Haley said. At the look of disbelief on Nathan's face, she shrugged and mockingly sighed. "Okay, fine. If you really want to know, I was thinking of the rumors about guys and shoe size and, you know, a certain part of the anatomy and just how disappointed your past girlfriends must have been."

She had to bite back her grin at the look of indignation on Nathan's face. It was refreshing to be so carefree and lighthearted with someone. For so long, she had been mired in her own pain and misery, unable to move beyond the events of six months ago. She hadn't flirted with anyone in months. She had never been a big flirt, or all that popular with guys outside of platonic friendships, so this was all new territory for Haley.

"I'll have you know I've had no complaints in that area. But if you'd like to check for yourself…," Nathan jokingly leered as he waggled his eyebrows at her.

"Maybe I'll have to take you up on that offer. In the name of science, of course," Haley flirted.

Nathan nodded, attempting but failing to hide his smile. "Oh, of course. Purely for scientific research."

No longer able to hold back her laughter, Haley giggled and then blushed at the thought of testing that theory. Even sitting, she could tell that he was in great shape. His shirt clung to his chest and her mouth nearly watered at the sight of the sleeves of his shirt hugging his biceps tightly. He was, without a doubt, the most gorgeous man she had ever laid eyes on. Her nerves tingled as a wave of lust coursed through her as images of doing more than just 'scientific research' flashed before her eyes. She had only met Nathan a few hours earlier and already she was picturing him naked and doing all sorts of wicked, naughty things to him. Even with those lustful thoughts, she had never felt more comfortable with anyone. It was a strange dichotomy, to say the least.

Haley couldn't know it, but Nathan was having almost the exact same thoughts. Sitting next to him was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen, and while the thought of doing more with Haley than just talking had him practically shaking with lust, the larger part of him was content to merely sit and talk with her. It was a very different, very new feeling for the (former?) playboy.

A loud noise startled the duo from their conversation. Chase was helping one of the bartenders bring in additional cases of beer, setting up for the evening rush. Glancing at her watch, Haley was surprised to see she and Nathan had been talking for several hours and it was now close to seven o'clock. Nathan pulled out his phone to check the time and noticed he had a couple of missed calls, mostly from Lucas.

"Wow, I didn't realize how late it was," Haley said as she reached for her purse.

"Neither did I. I guess time flies when you're in good company," Nathan said as he watched Haley move off the stool, not liking the pang of disappointment that hit him at the thought of Haley leaving.

Nodding, Haley stood by the now vacant stool awkwardly, wondering what to do next. She hated the thought of not seeing Nathan again, but she was too shy to ask for his number. Maybe she could mention she was hungry and he'd take the hint? But what if he didn't or worse, had no desire to? For the last several hours she had been happier, or as close to it as possible, than she had been in the last six months, and she was reluctant to walk away from that. Outside of Tric's doors, she knew the real world waited along with all the pain and heartache and misery that came with it. She and Nathan had created their own little bubble from the outside world and she was loath to destroy that sense of peace, at least for a while longer.

"Nathan, wo-would you—"

"I was thin—"

They both laughed at the interruption of each other. Haley smiled and said, "You were saying?"

"It's almost seven and I don't know about you, but I'm starving. Would you like to get a bite with me?"

Cheering on the inside, Haley simply nodded. At the "yes" Nathan gave her an ear-to-ear grin.


"I don't know how much longer I can do this, Lucas," Brooke said as Lucas opened his front door and she breezed past him.

"Well hello to you, too," he chuckled as he shut the door and followed his ranting girlfriend into the kitchen.

Turning and flashing a quick apologetic smile, Brooke leaned toward him to press a kiss to his cheek. "Sorry, babe. I had another fight with Haley and I just don't know what to do anymore."

She reached for a glass and turned to the faucet, filling the glass before facing Lucas and leaning against the counter. Some of her hair had escaped the ponytail and Lucas grinned as she tried to blow the long strands out of her face.

"What?" she asked before taking a sip from the glass. "What are you grinning at?"

"You, pretty girl. Is that okay with you?"

"More than," she beamed as she sat her glass on the counter and stepped closer, throwing her arms around his neck before pressing her lips to his.

The two kissed for long moments before Lucas pulled back. Ignoring Brooke's slight pout, he asked, "So what was your fight with Haley about?"

Brooke and Lucas hadn't been dating that long, but in that relatively short amount of time, she had confided in him about her best friend's depression and how it affected not only Haley, but Brooke and the two girls' friendship. Having grown up an only child with emotionally absentee parents, Brooke had no sense of being part of a true family until she met Haley their sophomore year of college. Becoming best friends with Haley James meant becoming a part of the James family, and Brooke was always warmly embraced at holidays or any other family gatherings. Lydia had often referred to Brooke as her "daughter from another mother" and Brooke referred to Haley's parents as "Mama James" and "Papa James." For the first time in her life, Brooke knew what it was like to be part of a warm, loving family.

Which made the last six months all the more difficult? Not only did Brooke feel like she lost her best friend, but she lost the only family she had ever really known. Haley had pulled away from her family and refused any contact with them. The James family was busy dealing with their own issues to reach out to Brooke, who was too involved with helping Haley deal with her grief so her own was left unresolved. Her best friend needed her, even if Haley couldn't or wouldn't recognize it, so Brooke tried to shove her pain aside as best she could so that she could focus on Haley.

Six months ago Haley lost her mom, and Brooke lost the only true mother figure she had ever known.

After Lydia's death, Haley was consumed by her own grief and guilt and was so determined to punish herself for her mom's death that any attempt to talk with her was met with anger or worse, silence. Brooke persevered, determined not to let her best friend fall into the abyss. It wasn't easy, however, with Haley refusing to discuss anything related to her mom or her failed relationship with Chris, and it seemed like the more Brooke pushed, the more Haley drifted further away from who she had been. Brooke no longer saw the Haley in front of her. Gone was the sweet, sarcastic, intelligent, kindhearted girl who always viewed the world through rose-colored glassed. In her place was a bitter, angry drunk who had given up on life and was content to let anything good in her life crumble into ash.

Watching Haley destroy any semblance of the life she once had broke Brooke's heart. Desperately wanting to help her friend, Brooke read books upon books dealing with the stages of mourning or advice on how to help a loved one cope with a loss. She couldn't pretend to completely understand the pain Haley was feeling at the loss of Lydia, but she wasn't completely clueless, either. Lydia may not have been her birth mother, but she was a mom to Brooke in every way that mattered. Although her first priority was helping Haley deal with her mom's death, there were times when Brooke had wished that she had someone who would let her cry and mourn the loss of the only mom she ever knew. With Haley hell-bent on ruining her own life, Brooke had never felt more alone.

Then she met Lucas and suddenly, she wasn't alone anymore.

They met one afternoon by quite literally running into each other at the grocery store. Usually not one for the buying groceries, Brooke was in a rush to pick up a few items when she rounded a corner and her cart was slammed by another, nearly causing her to fall backwards. She barely managed to bite back a curse at the impact, but all thoughts of berating a total stranger flew from her mind when she glanced up at the offender. He was a total fox. Tossing her hair behind her shoulder, Brooke offered a dazzling smile and her name. The fellow shopper introduced himself as Lucas Scott and, as a means of apology for his clumsiness, offered to buy Brooke's groceries. That offer led to Brooke inviting him to grab a cup of coffee as a way to thanking Lucas for his generosity. A cup of coffee turned into four hours of talking. As they were leaving the coffee shop, Lucas asked her to dinner and here they were, several weeks later.

Like her, Lucas was dealing with someone in a downward spiral. His brother Nathan injured his knee and could no longer play basketball, the game that had been his life since he was a toddler. Like her, Lucas felt helpless as Nathan insisted on burning what remained of his life to the ground. Like her, Lucas could only watch as his brother drank the pain away.

For the first time since Lydia's death, Brooke felt as if she had someone who would listen and allow her to mourn. Having Lucas by her side eased some of the pain in her heart, and as she began to heal, she couldn't help but grow angry at Haley's refusal to even try to talk about what happened. Brooke didn't pretend that one talk would fix Haley, but she couldn't understand why her friend refused to open up at all. Instead, Haley turned to the bottle and tried to find solace in alcohol. As Haley began to sink further into her depression, Brooke confronted her friend more and more, but the end result was always the same: an argument followed by harsh words, ending with one or both storming away. Rinse and repeat. It was quickly becoming old but Brooke was powerless to stop it. She only wanted to help Haley, in the only way she knew how.

The fight earlier in the afternoon was the last straw, however, and after she left Haley's apartment, Brooke rushed over to Lucas's house.

Brooke sighed as she wrapped her arms around Lucas's waist and leaned into his chest. "The same thing as always. I tried to get her to talk to me, she refused, I bitched at her, she bitched back. Another ugly scene."

"I'm sorry, babe."

"I just don't know what to do anymore, Luke. Haley seems determined to throw her life away but I can't sit back and watch that happen. She's my best friend; I can't watch her destroy her life."

"Pretty Girl, I wish I knew what to tell you," Lucas tried to comfort his girlfriend.

Raising her head, Brooke smiled and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. "Just listening to me is enough. Thank you, Lucas."

"C'mon, let's go sit on the couch and you can tell me more about it."

The couple moved to the living room and settled on the couch, Brooke curling into Lucas's side. She reached for his hand and began playing with his fingers as she wondered how to start. Sensing her hesitation and giving her a momentary out, Lucas said, "Did I tell you that I fought with Nathan this morning?"

Brooke shook her head and settled in to listen. She knew Lucas was having just as difficult time with Nathan as she was with Haley, if not more so simply for the fact that they were brothers.

"What happened?"

"Nathan was an ass, I was an ass. You know, the usual. He refuses to do anything—he won't follow the doctors' advice, he just sits in his house alone every day drinking. He's acting like the doctors told him he could never play basketball again. He need surgery and rehab and if he actually got off his ass and did something about it, the doctors said there is no reason to believe he wouldn't be able to play again," Lucas said as he vented his frustration. "But no, he has to act like a complete child and feel sorry for himself. His self-pitying act has gotten old."

"I know, babe," Brooke soothed. "And I'm not trying to make excuses for him, but maybe he's feeling guilty about the accident. After all, if he hadn't been drinking…"

"I know. He's told me he feels it's his fault he's injured, and he's right. What he did was incredibly idiotic, getting drunk with his buddies and then deciding to wrap his car around a tree, but he needs to move on some point, you know? I am so incredibly angry with him for wasting his life this way and destroying the potential he has, but at the same time, I'm worried he's falling into this depression that I can't get him out of."

Squeezing his hand, Brooke tried to reassure her boyfriend. "I feel the same way with Haley, I'm worried she's getting to a place where I'll lose her for good. I don't know what to do anymore. The more I try to help her, it's like the further away she runs from me." She sighed and laid her head back against the sofa. A few tears slid down her cheeks. "I'm losing my best friend, Lucas."

Freeing his hand from her grasp, Lucas wrapped his arms around Brooke, hugging her tightly. "You may not want to hear this, but maybe we just have to let them be. Nathan and Haley are adults capable of making their own decisions, even though we may not agree. Maybe we're doing more harm than good by forcing them to act the way we think they should."

"Maybe," she said doubtfully. "I've watched Haley make her own decisions these last few months and it's slowly killing her, Luke. I know Haley; I know she blames herself for Lydia's death and for everything with Chris. She's using that guilt as an excuse to drink. The drinking only makes the guilt worse and the vicious cycle starts all over again. I've lost Lydia already, I can't lose Haley too. I can't," Brooke cried, her voice cracking.

"You won't, Pretty Girl," Lucas reassured her. "But I think we need to back off the both of them for awhile. We're not going to be able to make them change, they're going to have to want it for themselves."

Brooke nodded her agreement, though she was still uncertain it was the best course of action. Although, everything else she tried had failed, so maybe Lucas was right.

"Do you think they will, Lucas?"

"I don't know, but we have to hope that maybe one day soon they'll find their reason to change."


"That did not happen!"

"I swear to God, I walked into my apartment one night and some stalker fan had convinced the building manager she was my girlfriend and had lost her key. She was laying on my bed stark naked," Nathan grinned as he relayed the story.

Haley's eyes were wide as she listened. "What did you do?"

"Slept with her, of course," was his nonchalant reply.

Eyes nearly bugging out of her head, Haley slapped her hand over her mouth in astonishment. He couldn't be serious? That was disgusting! What kind of man—

"Haley, I'm kidding," he said with a laugh. "I called the police."

"Really?"

"Really."

Unable to hide her sigh of relief (and ignoring why she was so relieved Nathan hadn't slept with that woman), Haley let out a nervous chuckle. Over the last two hours at dinner, they had shared more about themselves, but by mutual unspoken agreement, the conversation never delved into deeper territory. Feeling a bit raw and exposed after telling Nathan about Chris, Haley was determined not to make that same mistake twice. Nathan was stirring emotions in her that she hadn't felt in the longest time, if ever, and although only a few hours ago she was reveling in that, the distrustful, wary Haley of the past six months was rearing its ugly head again; warning her that Nathan was getting too close, that he would only hurt her in the end because what guy would want to be with a screw-up like herself.

Forcing herself to ignore the connection that burned between them, she told him about meeting Brooke, her job teaching (though she neglected to mention she had been fired several weeks ago due to unprofessional behavior), what she did for fun (well, what she did for fun before her days and nights were a haze of alcohol and pain and regret). She told him about growing up with six brothers and sisters (being careful not to mention anything about her mom or the currently strained relationship with her family). She told him a lot of superficial things about herself, but shared nothing of true consequence.

Nathan had noticed a shift in their conversation, as well as Haley's openness, over dinner. At Tric she had told him about her previous relationship, and Nathan instinctively knew she was confessing things she hadn't told anyone else. Their conversations since Tric, however, had been light, superficial even. At Tric, he felt a connection with Haley, an instantaneous one he had never felt with anyone before. He thought she felt it too, but now she was pulling away. And he was desperate to stop it. Haley was making him feel things he had never experienced before, and the thought of losing that bond with her was not something he wanted to contemplate.

So, for the time being, he took his cues from Haley, keeping the conversation easy. He told her about his time in New York, how much he enjoyed living in the city and the perks that came with playing in the NBA. He glossed over the painful memories of his time in New York—the way his life slipped out of control, the never-ending pressure he felt from the expectations of an entire city, the way he used women for his own pleasure, and especially of his accident and resulting injury. It was his past, nothing could be done to change it, and talking about it certainly wouldn't fix anything. Shit happened and that's all there was to it. He had already told Haley about his issues with his mother and how neglected he felt growing up. That was enough confessing for one night. Besides, there was no way Haley would ever want to be with him if she really knew what a colossal fuck-up he was.

"So were naked ladies throwing themselves at you just part of the job? Did watching you shooting your touchdowns get them all hot and bothered?" Haley exaggeratedly wagged her eyebrows.

Nathan couldn't stop a bark of laughter at Haley's mistake. "Touchdowns? I play basketball, not football. And it's free throws."

Shrugging, Haley grinned. "I don't know sports. I'm not what you would call 'athletic.' Used to drive my dad crazy. My brothers all played sports and my sisters are football fans. I was the lone non-sports person."

"What about your mom?"

Haley's heart raced at the innocent question. What if he asked more questions about her mom? Or about her relationship with her family? She couldn't tell Nathan about her mom. It was too painful, and how would he react if he found out her mom's death was Haley's fault?

She couldn't allow Nathan to get too close. Even as her heart was screaming that she could trust Nathan, her mind was telling her that once he knew about her mom, he would be running for the hills. She couldn't take that chance.

Not now.

Not after meeting Nathan.

Shaking her head, Haley replied in a quiet voice. "I need to go. Thank you for dinner." She looked around for their waiter. When he made his way over to their table she asked for the check over Nathan's protests.

"What? Haley, no. What's wrong? You don't have to go. Please, I'm sorry for whatever I said. Please, just stay," he begged her as he reached across the table to grab her hand. "Haley, please. Just stay with me."

Staring into his crystal blue eyes, Haley felt herself falling under a spell. She was so tempted to stay with him, to tell him everything that was in her heart. She opened her mouth to speak but closed it quickly as the voice came roaring back.

He'll never want you, Haley. Not once he knows you killed your mom. That's why Chris cheated on you, you know. He couldn't stand to be around someone who had such blood on her hands. Why do think your family won't talk to you? Soon Brooke is going to leave too.

It was better for Nathan if she left now before she got any more involved with him. He didn't need such a trainwreck in his life.

"I-I have to go, Nathan. It's better this way," she said as she prayed for the waiter to hurry up with the bill.

"Better? Are you kidding me? Haley, I know we just met, but we both know there is something between us. You felt it, I know you did," Nathan insisted. "When I look at you… we have a connection, damnit!"

"No, Nathan," Haley lied. "I think it was simply the alcohol. We're just two drunks who met in a bar and swapped sob stories for a bit." The lie was bitter in her mouth, tasting of unspoken regret and unrealized hope.

"That is such a lie and you know it, Hales."

What was she doing? Why was she lying? Nathan didn't understand. They had gone from light, flirty banter to Haley turning tail and running. What had he said to upset her so much? He went back over the conversation in his mind but came up blank.

Seeing the waiter approach with the bill in hand, Haley reached for her purse. She grabbed her wallet and hastily pulled some money to cover their tab. "Nathan, please. Don't make this into anymore than what it was."

"I'm not, Haley! There is something between us, whether you want to admit it or not!"

Haley dropped the money on the table before standing. She looked at Nathan, the fire and passion burning brightly in his eyes, and it took every ounce of strength inside her to walk away.

"I can't risk it, Nathan," she said to herself as she walked away.

Nathan sat at the table, stunned. What just happened?