Chapter --
Disclaimer: Hee hee, I got Harry Potter!!! (Is suddenly attacked by fans) Okay…now I don't…
Uh, I hate the number that I cannot speak of, so that's why this is Chapter --. I would skip it, but FanFiction is determined to make me have a Chapter --, so that's how it must be.
"Oh Chris!" called Dorcas in a sing-song voice as she, Tyson and Gilderoy wandered down some random corridor.
"Have you tried looking where he tends to hang out?" said Tyson.
"And where might that be, Mister I-know-all-about-Chris?" asked Dorcas sweetly.
"The kitchens, Miss Let's-look-everywhere-but-the-obvious-spot," replied Tyson, just as sweetly.
Dorcas gave him a look. "Fine. We'll go to the kitchens." She took a few steps. "Uh, you wouldn't happen to know where they are, would you?" she said, turning around and giving Tyson a sweet smile.
Tyson shrugged. "Depends on who wants to know."
Dorcas' face took on a furious expression. She grabbed the front of Tyson's robes and pulled him close to her face. "Tell me where the kitchens are right now, or I'll be forced to tell Lily where you are at this point in time, so that she can come and show your smart-ass head her fantastic baseball bat. Got it?"
"You've got pretty blue eyes," said Tyson.
Dorcas' face softened, and then it became a furious expression again. "Did you hear me?" she said.
"Oh yeah," said Tyson. "Something about my head, how it was so smart, it deserves its own baseball bat."
Dorcas sighed and let go of Tyson's robes. He stood up tall.
"You put a crease in them!" he cried, beginning to attempt to flatten them.
Gilderoy, who had been leaning against a wall cleaning his nails, immediately looked up. "Creases? I'll help!" He rushed over and helped Tyson get the creases out.
Dorcas groaned.
.x.x.x.
"We're off to kill Potter, the idiot Potter of Oz!" sang Lily as she and Emmeline walked down a corridor.
Emmeline groaned at her friend's lame remix of 'We're Off To See The Wizard'. She looked around at the walls in the corridor. "Lily, do you even know where the kitchens are?" she asked.
Lily stopped mid-verse. And she also stopped in her tracks. "Huh? Oh, uh…No."
Emmeline rolled her eyes to the ceiling. "Then where are we?"
"I dunno," said Lily. "I was following this ladybeetle."
Emmeline looked at her friend, an astonished expression on her face. "A ladybeetle? Are you kidding me?"
"No," said Lily. "It had seven spots, so I figured it would be good luck to follow it."
Emmeline sighed loudly. "Come on then. We'd better find someone who knows the way." She led Lily back down the corridor they had just come down until they found a seventh-year Hufflepuff. "Excuse me," said Emmeline, stopping the boy. "But do you happen to know where the kitchens are?"
"Sure," said the boy. "You just take that corridor off the left of the marble staircase and follow it til you come to the portrait of the bowl of fruit."
"Okay, thanks," said Emmeline, taking Lily's arm and pulling her in the right direction.
"Hey, wait!" called the boy. "You're Emmeline Vance, right?"
Emmeline looked at the boy, bewildered. "Um, yeah, I am."
"Will you go out with me?"
"I'm sorry," said Lily, jumping in to handle this awkward situation. "This is neither the time nor place to discuss this. And anyway, why should Emmeline go out with you when she's got Remus Lupin hanging off her?" Lily grabbed Emmeline's limp arm and pulled her away.
Emmeline's jaw had gone slack. "What did you…What just…"
"Like you'd go out with him anyway," said Lily. "Do you know he wears foundation? Yeah, he has all these disgusting red blotches on his face normally."
Emmeline was still disorientated. "And what did you mean about Lupin?"
Lily shrugged. "It's true."
Emmeline went to open her mouth, but Lily interrupted her.
"Look, it's the bowl of fruit!" she cried. Then she stopped and looked at Emmeline. "Now what?"
Emmeline looked back at Lily, the same look on her face. "Dunno."
Lily groaned. "Great. We should have asked that boy."
"Forget him, I think I know what to do," said Emmeline. "I think I heard the Marauders saying it once. Something about tickling someone…"
"Someone?" repeated Lily. "There's no-one around!"
Emmeline looked at Lily and an evil grin spread over her face.
Lily's eyes went wide. "Oh no…No, Emmeline don't!"
.x.x.x.
"So, what are you doing here?" asked James, taking a custard tart from a house-elf.
"Got hungry," replied Chris, stuffing his mouth full of apple pie.
"I get hungry," said James, taking a slice of cake from the plate in front of him.
"Mmm," agreed Chris, unable to say much else through the apple pie.
"But this time I'm on the run," said James.
"Mmm?" said Chris, raising his eyebrows.
"Yeah, Evans is looking for me. Something to do with smashing me with a baseball bat."
"Mmm," said Chris, nodding. "Mmm?"
"I think she thinks that I stole that little black book of Barson's," answered James.
"Mmm mmm," said Chris, jabbing finger at his chest.
"Huh? You did it?" said James. "Why?"
Chris swallowed loudly. "My little bro paid me. He's in love with Annapelle you know."
"Have you given it to him yet?" asked James quickly.
"Well, you see, he took it in the first place from Gilderoy, then he couldn't find a safe place to put it, so I offered to keep a hold of it," answered Chris. "With payment of course." He took some more apple pie. "I've got it here with me right now though," he said, patting his pocket.
"Really? You know, can I have it? I mean Lily has been looking for it and well, I know she loves me deep down, so it would really make her day if I gave it back to her," said James.
Chris shrugged. "Yeah, why not. This whole thing is confusing me, and my brother can get Annapelle by not stealing her book." He reached into his pocket and handed the book to James.
James smiled happily and put the book into an inside pocket of his robes.
.x.x.x.
"Now, just go into this corridor here," instructed Tyson, leading the way to the kitchens. "And we'll find…Tabitha!"
Dorcas immediately went into panic mode as she spotted her two best friends down the corridor.
Lily turned around to find Tyson Argent, Gilderoy Lockhart and Dorcas heading down the corridor.
"What are you doing here?" she and Dorcas said at the same time.
"Potter," said Emmeline.
"Dennis," said Gilderoy.
"Right," said Lily. "Do you lot know how to get in?"
Tyson stepped forward proudly. "Sure Tabitha. I'll help you get in."
Lily groaned, but let Tyson step in front of the portrait.
He reached up a hand and tickled the pear. It giggled and turned into a handle. Grinning at Lily, Tyson turned it.
.x.x.x.
James and Chris looked up from their food as the portrait into the kitchens slowly opened.
.x.x.x.
Lily, Emmeline, Dorcas, Tyson and Gilderoy stepped into the kitchen.
.x.x.x.
Ooh! This story is sadly coming to a close I fear…But I think I might like the ending! I'll try and make it funny and make it as detailed as possible…but I dunno if I'm a good action writer! I'm mainly humour or else fantasy…But I'll try my best for you, my readers!
Perhaps I'll write a sequel…One of the others can get stalked…How about James?
