Chapter 5 - Who cares about you in the end?
"What is he doing here?" Tess asked, making the rest of the girls stop what they were doing and look the same direction as her. "It's fine. I called him" Claire said and threw the shovel to the ground and started to walk towards the court.
It had been three days since the wedding and even though she wasn't entirely sure about talking with Peter, she had to do it - It was the only way to move on.
"I'm glad you called" Peter said as Claire reached him. His comment made her frown and she got a feeling that he thought she called him to mend things with him, but that wasn't the case. The only thing that needed to be mended was her and not the two of them.
"Let's talk in the kitchen" She said and walked past him, ready to get the whole talk over and done with. "Coffee?" she asked, trying to stall and keep busy with something. As much as she wanted to be done with this, it wasn't easy and it hurt so incredibly much to be standing in front of the man, who ripped her heart out.
"Claire" he said with a low voice and walked to her and placed a hand on her shoulder. She froze at his touch and tears started to fill her eyes. The touch send out a wave of mixed emotions. She felt both disgusted and at ease. She missed what they had already, she missed their plans and their dreams. She closed her eyes, trying to stop the tears from coming out and then she breathe in before turning around to face him. She hated that she felt the loss this great, knowing it wouldn't do her any good.
"I'm so sorry for the pain I caused - I never meant for this to happen. I will do anything in my power to make it right again" he said as turned to look at him. She looked down on the floor, finding the strength to go through with what she knew needed to be done.
"Peter…" she said with a low voice and looked back up. The tears was too demanding and she couldn't control the steady stream that started to run down her cheeks. "You can't make it right" she continued and felt him dry away her tears. "Claire, I love you. Give me a chance to make it up to you" his touch weakened the strength she had found but it couldn't, he couldn't do that to her.
"It's not that simple, Peter" Claire said and walked away from him. "It is, Claire. I love you and you love me" He said to her back. She started to feel a bit of anger awaken inside of her - He couldn't stand there and tell her how he loved her, not when he had done what he had. "Love isn't everything" She said, surprisingly calm. "But it's a good start" he answered and started to walk closer to her. "Claire … I can be what you need" he continued and moved her hair and planted a small kiss on her neck. She closed her eyes and let the tears fall once again - He couldn't do this to her. What he did was unforgivable and some sweet remarks here and there wouldn't fix anything. "That's where you are wrong" she said angrily and pushed him away with her shoulder. "You can't be what I need. You proved that!"
"But you love me, Claire .. " Peter said, thrown back by her sudden change of mood. "Yes, I do. As much as it pains me to admit right now, I do love you, Peter. I love you so much that I wanted to marry you!" she yelled with tears rushing down her cheeks - The tears was now a mix of sadness and anger.
"We can still get married - Nothing has to change" he said, still remaining calm, which only irritated Claire even more. "You just don't get it, do you?!" She said and shook her head sarcastically. "Everything has changed! You ruined me, Peter. You took away everything I felt for you!"
"So, you can't get a man a second chance when he screws up?" Peter now asked with a more firm and cold voice. Claire shook her head again and in that moment she realised just how pathetic Peter really was. How could she ever have wanted to marry someone like him?
"You had an entire year to tell me about her and you insisted on keeping it a secret - What am I supposed to think? That there isn't any more to it?"
"Okay .." Peter said and took a step back. "Okay, maybe we wasn't separate when we met but the moment I met you, I knew you was the one I had been waiting for!" Claire started to laugh as he tried to cover up the truth as something he did for her. As Peter realised his honesty didn't get him far, he got all wild in his eyes - Something Claire had never experienced before. "I gave up on everything for you, Claire!"
"No!" She quickly said and pointed at him. "Don't use me as a reason! You gave up on your family for yourself and not me" by now she was feeling even angrier and it felt like everything that came out of his mouth was one lie after the other.
"So what now?" he asked and flung his arm. "You just gonna give up on us?"
"No .. " Claire said calmly. "I'm ending us, there is a difference. I wouldn't think twice about fighting for someone like you" her last word made Peter see red. "Fine!" he yelled. "If you want to make it on your own, please do!" he continued and threw the nearest glass right by her head and into the wall where it splintered in hundred of pieces. She looked at the glass covered floor and then at him. "Out. Now!" she said with a voice angry enough to scare anyone. Peter shook his head and pushed to a chair as he made himself out the door.
She kept looking out in the room, feeling her blood pumping with rage. She had never been this mad before. Suddenly all her hurt and pain was replaced with what seemed like an endless circle of anger - but as soon as she heard the car door slam and Peter drive off, something snapped her out of it and slowly the hurt she had been feeling crawled back, leaving her both hurting and angry.
She stormed out of the kitchen and made her way to her bedroom. She almost bursted the door open, feeling more than ready to get rid of everything that reminded her of Peter. She quickly started to search the room, picking up every little thing from the drawers, shelves and closet. She gathered everything she found and threw it all in one big pile on the middle of the floor. Clothes, pictures, lotions - Everything needed to get out of her life. She looked around the room for anymore that reminded her of Peter and that was when she saw it. The wedding dress. It was hanging on one of the doors on the closet placed at the doorway. She walked towards it with small steps, tears in her eyes and a broken heart that shattered even more. The anger she felt before was gone and as she ran her hand over the dress she broke down. She allowed herself to cry for a couple of minutes, saying goodbye to what had been and then she gathered herself, took the wedding dress down and threw it in the pile with the rest.
"What are you doing?" Tess's voice sounded behind her. "Getting rid of him" Claire said and looked at her sister and then back at the pile. "Are you sure you want to throw away the dress, Claire?" Tess asked, now standing by her side. "No .. but I have to" was all Claire said before she picked up the pile and marched downstairs and out back. "Wait, where are you going with this?" her sister asked and came running behind her.
"I'm burning everything that still connects me to Peter" Claire said determined and kept walking. "Claire, you can't just burn it!" Tess said desperately and made Claire turn around. "Weren't you the one to tell me how you burned your ex's t-shirt a little while back?" Claire asked confused. This was the same thing.
"Yeah but that wasn't a wedding dress, Claire!" she looked at the white fabric mixed with the rest in her hand but surprisingly she didn't feel anything. "It's not like I'm going to need it" she said and turned around to walk again but Tess stopped. "I'm not letting you burn your wedding dress" Tess said and grabbed it from the pile. "Burn the rest if you want to, just not this!" Claire shook her head and with a fine she marched away again, ready to get rid of the things for good.
She kept looking into the barrel as the flames started to consume everything she had known for a year. She was saying goodbye to every dream, every hope and every last feeling towards the man she thought she knew.
As the last picture went up in smoke a single tear fell from her eye but she quickly dried it away, making a silent promise to herself - never to let anyone get this close to her again and always keep a distance. In the end, the only one who truly ever cares about you, is you and she got to learn that the hard way.
