Chapter 6 - Can I Think About It?
She was surprised to see Alex's ute parked out in the court when she came back from her walk. She felt strange as well, not having seen him since that day.
She walked around the ute and gave it a light clap on the hood as she past it and made her way through the laundry room and further into the kitchen - but there was no one there. She frowned and walked through the door to the hall, and into the dining room. Voices from outside reached her ear and she smiled as she heard Alex let out a small laugh before their talking continued.
Discreetly she walked towards the veranda door and waited to hear if they was talking about her - but it seemed like they just talked about big and small.
"Hi" Alex said with the biggest smile on his lips, as she stepped outside. She couldn't help but smile back but she frowned as soon as she saw how the whole area across his nose, looked like one big bruise. "Yeah I know" Alex said knowing what caused her to look at him like that. She pulled out a chair and placed herself beside him with an apologetic look, feeling a whole lot of guilt, knowing she was a part of those bruises. They kept staring at each other, almost as some of them was scared to ruin the moment. He just had to smile to make her feel better, he didn't even have to say anything - So she wanted as much comfort from the moment they shared right now, as she could.
"Can you two help me in the kitchen?" Meg asked Jodi and Tess, seeing how Alex and Claire looked at each other, she had a feeling some privacy was needed. "Oh yeah, sure" Tess said and got up from the chair and took the empty tray in her hands. "You need me to bring you anything, Claire?"
Tess's question brought her out of the moment she was sharing with Alex and she send him a shy smile, as she moved her focus from him to Tess. "No thanks, I'm good" Claire said and followed her sister with her eyes until she was out of side.
"How's the nose?" She asked and turned her focus to Alex again. "Oh, you know. It's alright" he said but Claire knew he was trying to act tough. The way it looked, she was surprised it wasn't broken. She smiled at him and shook her head at his obvious fear of taking any damage to his manhood.
"So …" Alex started but then he stopped. Tess had told him about the whole wedding dress incident, and he wanted to make sure she was okay, but it probably wasn't a good idea to bring it up and it wasn't his business anyway.
"So what?" Claire asked and moved around on the chair. Alex exhaled, quickly debating with himself if he should ask but something inside of him felt like he had to. "Tess told me you had a little fire going the other day?"
Claire sighed, rolled her eyes and leaned back in the chair. Did Tess have to make it everyone's business?
"Hey, I understand okay? I just want to make sure you are alright" he said, seeing the annoyment from Tess's telling on her face. She gave him a gentle smile as she thought about his question. Maybe she wasn't alright just yet, but everyday was a small victory for her and she was sure she would get back to normal sooner than later. Saying goodbye to Peter, for good, had done a lot for her - even though it hadn't been more than a couple of days. Her heart was still broken and it would take some time to get over the pain he had caused her, but she had faith that everything would turn out the way it should in the end.
"I will be" she finally answered and got up from her chair. "If you aren't too busy getting in touch with your feminine side, Marion, would you mind moving your butt and help me out for a minute or two?" Claire said corky, trying her very best to be herself again. Alex shook on his head with a laugh and got on his feet as well. "Oi, didn't I tell you not to talk about that"
"What? Marion?" Claire answered teasingly. "You are too much sometimes, you know that McLeod?" Alex said and followed her through the house. "Yeah, but you love me anyway" She said with a smile and a quick look at him, before she put up the pace to the ute.
He felt his heart skip a beat to her comment. If she only knew, he thought to himself. He did in fact love her very much but he didn't dare to speak off it and remained quiet.
"What do you need my help with?" he asked as they reached the the ute. "There's a hole in the east paddock" she answered, knowing too well she could fix that herself. Truth was, that she really didn't need any help from him, but everything was better at his side.
"Why do you need my help for that? You can fix a hole by yourself, you've done it since you was 10" he said confused, and he didn't have all that much time to stick around - but then he saw the look on her face. The pleading look, the begging look and he knew, somehow he knew, she didn't wanted to be alone right now. "Show the way" he said with a small smile and made way for Claire to get to the ute.
They parked the car on the other side of the paddock and made their way through the tall, dry grass leading up to the fence. "You still have Blaze out here?" he asked as he noticed Blaze amongst the other horses. "Yeah" Claire said and cut the damaged wire with a plier. "There's still 3 months to go" she continued and went to grab the new wire in the ute. "Yeah, but wouldn't it be safer to keep her closer to the house?" he asked concerned - It was after all Wildfire's foal she was caring and it wasn't only Claire who was excited for the new foal, he was as well.
"Relax. I'm moving her closer to the house when she's got a month left" Claire said with a frown on her face and a corky smile. "You know" she said and placed the wire on the ground. "If I didn't know you, I'd think you've started to care" she continued, still having that big smile on her face. "Give it a rest Claire - I just thought you would want to have her close" Alex said, trying to toughen his act.
Claire started to laugh but he wasn't all that amused. It was the second time today she'd made fun of his soft side - And he wasn't soft.
"You actually are!" Claire said as she realised he had a genuine interest in all of this. He grabbed for the wire on the ground, wanting to be over with this conversation. "She'll be fine out here Alex. I don't want to pull her away from the rest before I have to" Claire said and got on her knees to help him.
"Yeah I know, it's just .. It's Wildfire's foal too" he said and looked out in the paddock. She smiled at him as she understood where his sudden interest sparked from. "I guess that's true - does this mean …" she stopped and turned her focus to Blaze and then to Alex, who met her eyes. "That we are becoming grandparents?" Alex said and finished her sentence. She nodded and started to laugh. Alex snorted and shook his head and then he joined in on the laughing. "I don't know about you, McLeod - But I ain't that old yet!"
"We are totally becoming grandparents!" Claire said through her laugh. Alex shook his head again and pushed gently to her shoulder, as he continued to laugh as well.
After a while the laughing was wearing off and a little thought found its way to him. He had thought about it many times before but hadn't expressed it. With Peter being in her life, he didn't exactly feel like it was an option but now, with him gone, it could be.
"Are you still planning on starting the training dream with the foal?" he asked curious and helped her back on her feet. "Yeah, why?" she asked and threw the wire in the back of the ute. "I've just been thinking" he said and leaned himself against the side, studying her put the last things in the truck and walk to his side. "What have you been thinking?"
"You know … Wouldn't it be nice to have a partner for the training?" he asked. She made a hm sound and thought about his question. She was going to do it with Peter, but with him gone, she hadn't really thought about involving someone else in that business. Unless he was talking about himself.
"What are you suggesting Alex?" Claire asked and looked questioning at him. "Well .. Me" he said and shrug his shoulder. "I didn't know you wanted to train horses" Claire said and started to think about the opportunity Alex just presented to her. "You know I can train horses and I've been doing a lot of thinking - I want to start something myself, be free of Harry, you know?" he said and waited on her to say something. She snorted and nodded her head, Harry - She understood his desire to get out of there and start his own things.
"And, we'd make a damn good team the two of us" his comment made her look at him, almost surprised. They would make a good team, a really good team. Perhaps too good of a team?
"Come on, Claire. You know me, I know you. Let's do this?" he continued and seeked her eyes for an answer. She smiled and looked alternating at him and the paddock with Blaze. "It's really tempting Alex, believe me, it is - but can I think about it for a while? It's just, with everything that happened with Peter .. " she stopped and felt a bit of hate towards herself, for saying his name out loud. She hated that he made her feel this way.
"I mean .. I think I need some time, before I indulge myself in the whole training thing" she said and looked back at him. Her eyes was showing a bit of grief now, something that made his heart ache. He gave her a comforting smile and stroke her shoulder gently, feeling it was his fault she got reminded of what just had happened to her. "Of course" he said and kept his stare at her. She didn't move either. He sighed as he got reminded of how he never told her how he really felt for her, how he never took the chance and he hated himself for that, more than anything. He could have spared her a great deal of hurt, if he had been honest about his feelings. He shook his head discreetly, knowing he had to shake those thoughts out of his mind. "but I really want this" was the last thing he said before he looked away, leaving Claire doubting whether or not he was still talking about the training business. "Let's head back" he said and opened the door to the ute.
"You coming?" he asked and looked out the window at Claire, who was standing in the same spot still. She was still trying to make sense of his comment, knowing that he actually loved her, she wasn't sure if there was more to it than that. "Yeah" she quickly said and moved her focus to the ute. "I'm coming" she continued and shook her head, trying to forget what just happened - It wouldn't do her any good to keep trying and make any sense of it.
She closed the door with a smile, turned the ute around, and drove down the same road they came from.
