Chapter 7 - Who is right for me?
It had been a couple of months since he last had the talk with Claire about going into business together - Telling him, she had to think it through and needed some time to process everything that had happened. Which, he couldn't blame her and understood. So when Claire called the other day, asking if he wanted to swing by and help her move Blaze to a closer paddock, for her last month of pregnancy - Not that she couldn't herself, he jumped in right away, hoping they got to talk about his business proposal.
"Why am I here, Claire?" he asked as she stirred Blaze into the new paddock and took off her harness. "You was so worried last time, I thought you wanted to oversee the move" Claire teased with a smile. Alex shook her head and laughed at her. "You are something, alright" he said and jumped the fence, helping Claire shut the gate.
"No, I actually wanted to talk" she said and gave him a smile. "You know how you asked me to become business partners, a while back?" he nodded at her and continued to walk towards the house with her at his side. "I've done some thinking, at lot actually and .. I don't know" she stopped, both her talking and walking. Alex turned to look at her, desperately trying to make out what she was going to say next. "I don't know if I'm ready, if the time is right" she continued and with those words Alex felt the dream of becoming partners, disappear before it even started. He tried to hide his disappointment by looking at the ground, he really wanted this. "But then I thought: Is the time ever right?"
He looked back at her, confused about what she was actually saying. "I do know that I want to do it, but I'm not sure that I can - but with your help. I don't know. Maybe we could .." but it was all she got around to say before Alex cut her off. "Yes!" he said happily, making Claire smile. "You haven't even heard what I want to ask you" she said and laughed a little. "I don't need to. I already know it and the answer is yes!" Alex said and gave her a big grin.
"Well okay" She said and shook her head. He really wanted this, didn't he? She thought to herself and picked up the walking again. "Wait, just to be clear. You are asking me to be your partner, right?" Alex suddenly said and stopped her. "I thought it was obvious" Claire laughed and frowned at him. "I guess we are partners then" Alex said and gave her a weird smile. "I guess so" Claire answered and snorted with a laugh as they started to walk again. He kept looking at her in the same weird way as they kept walking towards the kitchen. "Stop being weird" Claire said and pushed him on his shoulder, making him laugh and push back at her. "Hey, wanna celebrate it?" he asked and stopped halfway through the door. Claire turned around and looked like she needed to think about it. She didn't really, she could use a beer or two, after everything that had happened the last couple of months. "Sure. Come by for dinner tonight, then we'll tell the others as well" she said and walked in the kitchen, leaving Alex in doorway. He couldn't get the smile off his face. Partners, with the one and only Claire McLeod.
Alex dropped by for dinner that night, just as Claire had told him too. They were all there, at least everyone that needed to know about their plans and by dessert, which Meg always insisted on when they had someone over for dinner, they told everyone they were going into business together. At first they was surprised, they all thought she had given up on her dream after Peter but then they congratulated them and started to talk about how excited they was for them, and how Blaze's foal would be a number one horse with them as trainers. They still had a lot to figure out, money, building material and when to start. But they still had a lot to celebrate right now. Perhaps the biggest step, agreeing on starting a business together.
"How are you holding up?" Alex asked and handed Claire a beer. She snorted and looked out to backyard through the double doors. They were still sitting in the dining room, talking about everything and nothing. She wasn't really sure how to answer that question. It was hit and miss. Some days were good, other days she felt like crawling into a hole and never come back up. But she would like to think she was better, looking at it from a wider perspective she was getting better. So that was what she told him.
"Claire, I'm really sorry about how you found out" he said and felt like that whole mess had been caused by him somehow. "I know you are" she said and gave him a gentle smile. "I just … couldn't let you marry him"
"Because of his lie or because of him?" Claire asked and took a sip of her beer. She knew it wasn't fair to ask him that, not with how he felt about her but something inside of her hoped for him to admit it to her. She needed to hear it somehow, but she wasn't really sure what to do with the information if he told her. Alex looked at her, surprised by her question. He got a feeling she wanted him to say there was more to it, and there was. But if it hadn't been for the lie, he wouldn't had stopped her from marrying him. He would never be in the way for her happiness. "Is this a trick question?" he asked wondering and looked at her with a half smile. She let out a small laugh and shook her head. "I just want to know. I know you never really liked him"
"Claire, he was a knob. And a big one - Everyone could see that. But I would never stop your marriage just because I didn't like the guy. I did it cause you deserved to know the truth before saying yes to spend your life with him" Alex said and looked at her with gentle eyes, telling her he hoped she understood why he did it. She smiled at him, feeling thankful for everything that he had ever done for her. They locked eyes and in that brief moment, she felt whole. She knew he truly loved her - Even though he had never said it to her face.
"And not to mention he wasn't good enough for you anyway" Alex said after a while and broke the silence. "Oh yeah, who is then?" Claire asked with a smile and got pulled back to reality by his corky comment.
"Well …" Alex said and got up from the chair. He leaned himself across the table, resting his hands on the wooden surface and moved his head closer, only a couple of inches away from her face. She could feel the warm from his breath on her skin and the broken heart of hers, skipped a beat. They kept glancing at each other for a couple more seconds, before he looked down at the table, fighting the urge to kiss her and then he looked back at her "Not him .." he said with a husky whispering and pulled himself away from the situation.
"I'm getting a new round. Want some?" he asked and walked out of the room, without letting Claire answer his question - He just had to get some space between them before he did something he shouldn't do. Claire was left alone in the dining room, not sure about what just happened, and it left her feeling a little weirded out. She draw a smile. No, Alex was just expressing his opinion on how much he didn't like Peter. That was it.
