"Where could Ness be!" Young Link exclaimed. "I've been waiting for ten minutes already and he hasn't showed up!" Toon Link sat next to him in the living room as they waited for the Psychic kid.
"I dunno, maybe he was busy?" Toon Link wondered, fixing his helmet. Young Link glared at him and stuck out his tongue. "He can't be busy, what else would he be doing?"
"Um... eating? It is breakfast after all." Out of the corner of his eye, Toon Link saw a red capped kid running towards him. "Wait, there he is!"
"Ness, ready to fight?" Young Link enraged him. But he didn't respond. Instead, 'Ness', who was really Diddy Kong, jumped onto Young Link's back and screeched.
"Ack!" Toon Link gasped. "Ness, what are you doing to Young?" Toon Link tried to grab Diddy Kong away, but a jolt of fire shot from his hands and straight at him. Startled, Diddy let go of Youn Link and ran towards the front door of the Smash Mansion.
"Whew, that was just weird." Young Link muttered. "You alright, Toony..? Oh, right."
"QUIT STANDING THERE!" Toon Link yelled. "My pants are on fire!" Young Link looked up to see a flame burning through the left side of his pants.
"Aw, come on! I have to take care of you again?" Young Link quickly grabbed a bucket out of nowhere and went to the bathroom.
"Captain Falcon, you do realize you'll have to get out of this room someday!" Samus grumbled. She watched as Ivysaur poked at the pilot's feet on his bed.
"Well, ever since I was set up on a date with Red I don't think I ever do wanna leave this room. And why was I set up with Red? Because of YOU, POKEMON TRAINER SAMUS ARAN!" Captain Falcon tried to smash his glass of water on the table, but Toon Link's weaker arms didn't help much.
"WELL GUESS WHAT, TOON FALCON? I NEVER LIKED YOU, AND I. NEVER. WILL!" Ignoring the fact Ivysaur was still in the room, she charged through the door and slammed it shut. Ivysaur hid under the bed while Captain Falcon stared in displeasure.
"Well that was just... convienient, wasn't it, Ivysaur?" Captain Falcon grumbled. Ivysaur let out a little mumble, but he stayed under the bed. Captain Falcon got up from the bed and picked up the cracked glass cup from the ground and threw it in the garbage. He was about to sit back down when he felt something hit his back.
"Ivy!" Ivysaur ran in between Captain Falcon's legs to grab what had just hit him. Curious, Captain Falcon took the object from the Pokemon.
"It's a... peanut?" Captain Falcon looked over the nut, then at the air vent beside his TV. Looking closer, he saw the figure of a monkey staring down at him. "D-Diddy Kong?" Captain Falcon asked.
"Ness, for Pete's sake, but I can see why you called me Diddy Kong." He looked back in the vent. "Anyway, did you hear what just happened right now?" Captain Falcon glared back at him.
"What do you mean, just happened?" Picking up Ivysaur and tucking him into his bed, Captain Falcon approached the vent. "Is it something serious? And hey! It's my job to climb through the air vents!"
"Well, it would be something serious to Samus for sure," Ness replied. Captain Falcon shuddered. "And exactly what is that?"
"Ivysaur?" The Pokemon agreed. Ness paused for a brief moment before talking.
"Look, you know that Snake came back today, right?" Ness watched as Captain Falcon nodded. "Well, I decided to take a stab at vent crawling, and when I got to Snake's room..."
"What? What happened when you got to Snake's room!" Captain Falcon grew more eagar.
"Well, there was Snake, on his bed, along with Zelda, and it seemed like they were...um, end of story." Ness felt sweat coming down his face as he watched Captain Falcon's expression change.
"Snake, you dirty bastard! Cheating on my future girlfriend for LINK'S possible girlfriend? What has the world COME to? How could Zelda fall for Snake?"
"Well," Ness started again. "Apparently Link and Zelda were mad at each other for the Ganondorf Kirby thing, so when Snake got back, she decided to make Link feel bad by expressing her fake love for Snake. Turns out she somehow fell in love with him for real?"
"But.. WHAT DOES SNAKE HAVE THAT I DON'T?" Captain Falcon had ripped the vent door off and was ready to climb in.
"Er, I don't think now is a good time to talk about it. Shouldn't we-I mean, you be thinking of things to take care of this situation-"
"HECK YEAH! LET'S VENT CLIMB INTO HIS ROOM!" Captain Falcon screamed so loudly people from all the way in the dining room could hear what he was saying.
"Well, now that you mention it, we could always try-aah!" Before Ness could say anything else, Captain Falcon had climbed in and grabbed him by the tail, leading the way.
"Bowser, who're you gonna swap with?" Ganondorf asked loudly. They were sitting in Master Hand's office.
"Well, certainly someone who isn't Kirby!" Bowser laughed as he searched the room for someone worthy of swapping. Ganondorf glared at him, his hammer in both hands.
"I mean, uh, Kirby isn't THAT bad. I guess." Suddenly, a thought hit him as Sonic was busy taunting Luigi.
"You're too slow! You're too slow!" Sonic yelled as he chased Luigi around the room. At that exact moment, Luigi had tripped right in front of the swap machine. Sonic approached and began laughing.
"Bowser, where are you going?" Ganondorf demanded as the Koopa walked away.
"Let's just say I have some plans." Running up to the two Smashers, Bowser grabbed a hold of Sonic's leg and opened the machine door. Looking at the scared hedgehog, Bowser laughed.
"Guess what Sonic? You're too slow!"
"Oh Snake, I've never felt this good in years," Zelda remarked as she hugged him tightly. Snake grinned. "Well, I've never met someone as pretty as you since the day I was born!" The two of them laughed as they snuggled up together.
"Yuck, Zelda and Snake doesn't make a very good pairing," Ness remarked as he quietly pulled the vent door off.
"Now is the time," Captain Falcon whispered. "To blow this Lemonade Stand!" Quietly, he pulled out a bomb and lit it up. "On the count of three... one... two... three!" He pulled himself out of the vent and threw the bomb at the couple. Zelda screamed and Snake groaned.
"I CAN SEE YOU, CAPTAIN FALCON!" He yelled as he fell off the bed, revealing the upper half of himself, while the bottom half was wrapped in a blanket.
"OH MY FREAKING GIYGAS!" Ness gasped as he saw Snake's chest. "I cannot grasp the true form of how HIDEOUS THAT IS!"
Captain Falcon tried to get away by jumping back into the vent, but Snake kept following, about to jump into the vent. Taking quick action, Ness did the last thing possible.
"Snake, honey! Banana peel!" Zelda was dressed and out the door of Snake's room as she said this. Before he could respond, Snake tripped over the banana and tripped sideways into his cabinet of video game consoles.
"That's what'cha get for hating Nintendo, freak!" Captain Falcon announced as he and Ness retreated through the vents. Snake looked around his room for a moment, then at the vents.
"I need to find someone short that I'd like to swap with," he muttered.
"So, you are-a saying Diddy Kong and Toon-a Link ganged up on you because you were-a making out with-a Zelda?" Mario grumpily asked Snake in Master Hand's office.
"For the last time, Mario, it was Ness and Captain Falcon!" Snake muttered under his breath. Mario only laughed. "Well, Zelda told-a me that Diddy Kong and Toon Link-a did it! Besides, what business would Ness and Captain Falcon have with each other?"
"Well, either way, I need Smash to cover the damages from the incident, like having those two punished-"
"Oh, Snake. We can't-a punish Smashers, but we can take care of-a damages!" Mario only giggled now.
"Great! I need you to cover a PS3, a Sega CD and a Sega Dreamcast!" Snake smiled, but he realized that Mario was bursting with laughter now.
"Silly Solid Snake, we can't-a pay coverages on Non-Nintendo Consoles! Now off with you!" Mario had shooed Snake out of the office, who was now smashing the walls.
"Shoot. I thought being 3rd Party would have some sort of advantages involving things that aren't Nintendo!" Young Link had heard what Snake and Mario were talking about and was now standing in front of him.
"So you're saying Ness swapped with Diddy Kong? Great! We spend three hours trying to chase him out of the forest trees for NOTHING?" Young Link moaned. "Toon Link, get a load of this!" The Link left the hallway and Snake was now all alone."
"Well, at least I'm not gonna get in trouble for this!" Snake blurted it out at the wrong moment. Samus and Link had approached him, both glaring angrily.
"I see you cheated with Zelda!" Samus noted. "Perhaps I was wrong about what I said to Captain Falcon earlier. He's certainly a better man than YOU!" She also left the area, leaving Link and Snake watching each other, face to face.
"Hey, Link!" Snake tried to sound reassuring. "No hard feelings after today, right?" Snake shivered. Link was busy studying his sword before looking back at Snake. With a laugh, Link held his sword high before beginning to chase Snake around the entire Smash Mansion.
"There's one thing about Link. He seems to be the unforgiving type!" Snake shrieked as Link attempted to slash him, causing the him to run faster. "And it's really bad when you're wearing all this gear!"
I have nothing else to mention in author's notes at the moment. But I WILL give you a cookie if you point out the references Ness mentioned in this Chapter. :P
