A/N: Long time, no see! Hope you're still interested in the journey! After a lengthy time going without writing, I slowly eased myself into it again with another fanfiction. Maybe you've seen, it's about Harry Potter.

I've been through some tough times, and thank you for all the support via PM and reviews. Nothing is going better with my country if you'd like to know. You've really set my mind at ease about my decision to take a break though, and hopefully I'm back again stronger and even more enthusiastic this time, with two stories going on at the same time. Even though this story is my priority, the other one is easier to write for the chapters are much shorter compared to this, and it's going with a much more lighter mood, again, compared to this one. Yet, it worked pretty well on helping me gain my inspiration back, and with school finally ending I plan on updating more frequently.

Michelle Lacie Kat, Borys68, Meliara422, biddle29 and Applejack456 thank you for your kind words on my Author's Note. It means grands.

a summary needed much more than ever: In the last one, Kili was driving Fai insane by making a brutal mistake saying how the two have slept together. She stormed off, and found Beorn's lost cat. (the one that ran away after Beorn shape-shifted) She got really sick from the cold rain pouring down. Fili messed with Kili's head about him being unbearably weird about Fai, and at the end of the chapter Fai bribed Dwalin with some cookies, Balin and her giggled like little girls right after.

So, welcome in again! Hope you like it.

Chapter 20.


"I don't care your plans about me Gandalf, but I swear, if you try to make me stay here, or another place, I'll eventually escape and run around in the flatlands screaming all the secrets of Arda with the top of my lungs. I'm going with them, I don't care what Thorin says."


"I know you are fond of her, Master Bofur, make sure she would stay out of harm's way."

"But Gandalf, I don't understand."


"It's very kind of Beorn to offer you his ponies, but make sure you you take good care of them on the road.. Also, it would be wise of you to set them free before entering the forest."

"What do you mean by you?"


"You've come quite far, I can tell you this much. But for the rest of your journey, you have to be more discreet. I'm sure you don't need to be told of the darkness in Mirkwood, but let me remind you.. The air, will change. The people around you, will change even more. I'm afraid that, you may recognize the changes within yourself as well. Be careful, my dear child, and keep quiet."


"Do you think he'll leave us?"


"If your mind has been made, Tharkûn, then I have no reasons left to keep carrying her around."


"Maybe we should tell him, Gandalf, otherwise he'll leave me behind."

"Nonsense."


"But Uncle, you can't leave her behind!"

"Do not tell me you dared to eavesdrop, Kili, grandson of Thrain!"


"So there will be no more second breakfasts?"

"Bombur?!"


...


Apparently, the day before their departure was racing to be the worst. The Company had been arguing in pairs, and most of them ended up not talking to each other. Fai's sickness had gotten worse over the time, and it was driving Thorin insane for he wished to be leaving as soon as possible. Beorn was by her side at all times, and the Dwarrows kept checking on her every few hours.

Gandalf was absent. So were Thorin, Balin and Dwalin. Bombur and Nori weren't talking to each other, and it was certain that Oin and Gloin will not be engaged in a conversation any time soon that night. Even though her mind was seesawing between consciousness and coma, Fai still could sense the tension in the air. Beorn had been great to her, and she could've sworn that the warm milk with honey he made was pure magic.

"I've packed your things as well," said Bilbo with a flickering smile tugged at his lips. "And Fili has sharpened your blades."

"Why bother," mumbled Fai, but wished she hadn't said anything. Words were like razorblades, cutting through her throat on every attempt of speaking. She hated a sore throat more than anything, so much that chopping her own head off was starting to seem like a reasonable solution. Poor girl grimaced in pain and let a final word out instead of a full sentence, which was more than enough to explain all.

"Thorin."

"I suppose that issue will be taken care of by the morning time. None of the Dwarrows are up for leaving you behind, especially the youngsters, I must say." said Bilbo with a calming tone, he didn't look like he was worried at all, and Fai sensed that he was playing. There was so much tension on the air that no way anyone could be that serene. He ought to be at least a bit of worried.

Shaking her head to sides, she furrowed and repeated in a more downbeat tone this time. "Thorin."

"You'll see." Bilbo reassured her, while leaning a little for more discretion. "I've seen them earlier this morning. Gandalf was all lengthened and dark again. Thorin has to agree at some point."

Fai didn't bother to answer this time, she definitely wasn't going to relax and underestimate Thorin's grumpiness. She wasn't looking like the girl who literally threatened Gandalf earlier that day. It was like she wasn't the one that yelled at the Wizards face that if she was to be left behind, then she'd be out with every secret she'd been keeping. Of course, a good part of her tirade was only idle threats, even thinking about wandering alone on Middle-Earth was giving her the creeps.


...


"Remind me again, brother, why are we wasting our final opportunity to get a good night's sleep? We'll be sleeping on Mahal knows what again, for a long long time."

It was Fili, who ended his words with a big yawn. Him and his brother were out in Beorn's yard, sitting under one of his apple trees. The older one looked nothing but tired, while his brother Kili was so many things at once. He was squirming constantly, and wearing one of his most intense looks. His hands were worrying the skirts of his royal blue robe and a muscle in his jaw was pulsing as he gritted his teeth.

The fair headed prince waited for a while to get an answer, but his brother seemed so busy fraying his robe. Fili didn't like to see him that way, but his efforts of getting Kili to tell what was up hadn't paid off all evening. Looking at the brown headed one sitting all worried and jittery, Fili sighed.

"Kili."

After a moment of silent, he finally couldn't hold it any longer. Without looking at his brother, he let out.

"Is she going to be alright?"

"It's just the flu, you idiot, she's seen worse." Fili chuckled in disbelief, raising his eyebrows. But thinking about it, Kili was equally worried in each situation. It was funny how he had freaked out over her being tortured by Goblins and catching the cold all the same. His mind had no filter.

"Still! And I'm not worried just about that, of course." he said in a defensive tone, and the crankiness in his voice reminded of a little child's.

Fili sighed again and tried to hold his brother's gaze, but his eyes only met the top of the other one's stubborn head. The one who was venting his spleen on the grass now, instead of his robe. He hadn't seen Fai since the incident, all he did was to nag Fili to get an update on her fever every twenty minutes.

"If you are so worried, then why don't you go and wait by her side?"

"I can't." Kili protested, plucking a fistful of grass, and earned himself another sigh from his older brother in return.

"But why?" Fili finally bursted out, spreading his arms to sides in despair. He was sick of his brother getting more and more ridiculous with each day passed.

"Because I can't look at her knowing that she may not be around tomorrow. I don't want to." He watched the strands of grass slowly fall from his palm, and lifted his head for the first time to met Fili's gaze. His eyes were filled with trouble, and Fili felt sorry for his brother.

"But how do you- how can you be certain of that?" he asked, with a sudden softness in his voice.

The answer was shocking.

"Because I kind of begged Thorin not to leave her behind."

"You what?"

"Well, I may have said that he can't do such thing and stuff.."

"And?"

"He told me off, of course."

This time they both sighed. Fili watched his brother for a while as he was minding his own very important business; tugging at the laces of his boots. He didn't know how to handle the situation, or what to tell to his younger brother. In the meantime, he had a dangerous journey to worry about, not to mention the dragon waiting ahead. After watching him for a couple minutes more, his eyes got filled with compassion and he spoke.

"She's fine, by the way. Beorn takes good care of her."

And once again, Fili got surprised by the effect of the words about Fai. The brown headed one instantly put the laces to rest, and darted his head up. It was the first time he didn't look gloomy that night.

"Really?" he asked with a distinct change in his voice.

"Yyep. Also, she can't talk with that sore throat, so suppose it's the best time to apologize to her, without getting yelled at."

"Nope." Kili said at once, with the most firm attitude.

"What are you now, thirty two again?"

"Nopity nope."

Fili had used up the final drops of his already beaten-up patience and cracked his knuckles. "That's all from me, brother. If you don't want to come, fine. But I'm not going to waste the few good hours left awake. See you in the morning."

As his brother waddled back towards Beorn's home, Kili huffed troubledly and plucked a fistful of grass.


...


"In the name of Eru Ilúvatar, it is certain that you all Dwarrows have taken an oath on driving me round the bend! I'm telling you one last time, Thorin Oakenshield, that the girl has to be kept safe."

With his hair scattered all around his face, the Wizard was looking older than he usually looks. His features had surrendered to despair and rage, Gandalf started pacing back and forth.

"I indeed took an oath, Tharkûn, and it waspromising her safety. That is, until you decide on a sudden leave. She is no longer mine, nor the Company's responsibility. We have enough to worry about already."

The King under the Mountain was right behind Gandalf, looking just as frustrated. After all the time they had spent in Beorn's place, it was the first time he was fully armed. His restiveness was no longer containable, and he was determined to leave with the first beams of the sun, come hell our high water. Finally getting sick of following the Wizard's pace, he settled on an overthrown tree truck. The duo was capable of keep threaping for days, it was impossible to guess which one would give up first.

"And what does my absence got to do with your Oath, may I ask? I thought the Dwarrows were loyalest of all." Gandalf then asked, after a deep drag from his wooden pipe, which was failing to calm him down at that point of the night.

"Don't you dare defaming my Kin Gandalf! The Dwarrows are the loyalest of all, and I carried out my part precisely. I had let her travel with us this far, even most of the time she was nothing more than a burden. And as for her safety, the last time I checked she was still in one peace. Down with the cold, which was her own idiocy I must add, yet safe."

"But-"

"I'm not done. Although I accepted and took care of the girl without her even knowing, she was primarily your responsibility Tharkûn. But everyone can see that even my nephews did a better job taking care of her. Bothersomely better, to be honest. Compared to the rest, first part of the journey was a bed of roses and from now on, I want everyone at their best. No room for mistakes, or distractions, do you hear? If you're leaving, you are taking her in tow."

Gandalf needed a couple more drags before giving an answer. His face was darkened, but his desperation was overriding the anger. He didn't know how to surpass the Dwarven King's stubbornness, and then there was the unbreakable obstinacy of the girl herself! It goes without saying that sending her off with the Company was the worst way imaginable to keep her safe, but it seemed like he had no other choice. For reasons not very clear to the Wizard, the girl was hell-bent on being a part of the journey.

"You can't try to bend your oath for your own benefit, the King under the Mountain!", tried Gandalf with another effort, "I trusted you. Dijnu hyadâkh ghivasha, urùthûkhikizu hyêmrûr ra hurumizu tada khajimuhîzd ana zu."*

"I've honored and trusted you in return, Tharkûn, I sure as my beard have! And look at you leaving, within a day's notice! You are not the one to speak to me of trust."

Gandalf sighed wearily and lowered himself on his knees to Thorin's level. Pairs of stubborn eyes skirmished, the tension between them was almost visible.

"What have I done, my friend, to break your trust?" he then asked, with his expression softened and face lighter than before. "Can't you see that my leaving is for the greater good? My true loyalty lies in protecting Arda, and there won't be a homeland for you to take back if I fail my own duty."

"You talk and talk, Tharkûn, without really saying anyting. You've been talking to me of the importance of this girl from day one, but it doesn't speak to me. I require some real words in this instance, otherwise, she's leaving."

"I am not, though."

The Wizard and Thorin turned to the owner of the voice in the same time. It came out of nowhere, and when their gazes met, Thorin was absolutely stunned. There Fai stood, with a pale face and scattered hair, hardly supporting her own weight. With every word leaving her mouth she grimaced, but despite all her sickness, she looked determined as a rock.

"And Gandalf can not tell you anything, for it is not her secret to share."

Gandalf attempted to go to her aid, only to be stopped by a severe hand gesture. Gathering all the strength was not easy for Fai, and she was decided to keep it that way till the last minute. With flames in her eyes, she nailed her eyes to Thorin's and gulped down before talking. It felt like she was swallowing a handful of nails.

"Thorin, the King under the Mountain." she began, trying to spare the pain from her voice and face. "Do you know what happens when someone saves someone's life, or do I have to tell you?"

Interested in her proem, Gandalf rose a brow and wore a shadowy expression. Thorin, on the other hand was completely taken by surprise against of the girl's bold attitude. Having foresaw this exactly, Fai kept with her solid words. Her time was limited till Thorin shakes of the confusion, so in spite of all the pain, she didn't give anything away.

"I saved you nephew's life once, remember? And he saved mine in return. I don't like to admit, but he did it more than once, even. I'm sure I don't have to remind, nor explain to you what the old belief says. Having saved once, we're responsible of each other's lives now."

Thorin was the most gruesome Fai had ever seen. Being one of the best writers in Fai's opinion, even Tolkien was inadequate to describe in the books. Trying to adjust to his face without freaking out, she tried to keep hers straight. Gandalf however, looking kind of amused by the seen. Needless to say that his face was out of the King's side.

"You didn't save his life." was all Thorin could say, still taken aback by the insolence he had faced.

"Didn't I? Without me, broken bones is all there would be of Kili. His flesh, of course, devoured by that beast of a Warg."

A thousand sharp knives slitting her throat more and more with every word, Fai finally couldn't help but let a little, hoarse moan out. If there was something in the world Thorin admired more than honor and loyalty, it was determination and strength. Also, there was twelve Dwarrows among his company, but she turned out to be the most stubborn of all. Yet, the girl wasn't more stubborn than the King himself, and even though he respected her audacity on some level, it wasn't enough.

"Don't you dare talking of him in such manner." he grouched, and took a step towards Fai. "He is a son of Durin's line. He is to be a Prince."

Ah, believe me, I don't want to Fai grumbled in her mind. Kili's death was at the bottom of the list of what she wanted to think about. Trying not to lose her patience and went too far, she desperately tried to clear her throat and rekindled her eyes ablaze. As his threatening gesture, she took a step forward as well and spoke up with every word leaving her lips distinctly.

"I know what he is to be, and I don't mean to obstruct by no means. You know like the back of your hand of the dangers to come; and I won't let a life I once saved go through without me. You might not, but this is what I believe. You can forget your promise; at the breath Gandalf leaves, I will be no responsibility of yours. Mind at peace, you can leave me behind if I ever got hurt, and I give you my word, I'll make every single soul among your company do the same."

It was ridiculous for Thorin to get into a quarrel with a child, but there she was, standing up to him to the point where she floutingly releases him from his own oath. The Oath had been given and Thorin wasn't a man to renege on a promise. The reason of his hampering was only to figure out the secret lying between the girl and the Wizard. There was a time indeed, where he honestly thought of leaving her behind but it didn't last. Loyalty made the most of him, and no matter how much of a burden she would be, she was a part of the company when Thorin gave his word to Gandalf. It was driving him insane not knowing the hidden truth about Fai, but the insanity wasn't enough to break a promise.

Now he was looking for a way to tell her that she could come with the company without making her feel like she won the argument. Also, his intention was to leave as soon as possible so it was only to his disadvantage to tire her even more than she already was. Wonderful timing for her to be sick really, right before leaving for Mirkwood.

"It's not your place to question my trustworthiness." he said, glaring at Fai. "And if you do it once more, I swear I'll banish you from the Company for good."

Fai was just about to object again when Thorin basically said that she was still a part of the company. Her lips parted, she looked at Thorin with her eyes thrice the size. She turned her gaze to Gandalf for a better explanation, but his eyes were fixed on the King himself. After getting what she wanted, all of her courage seemed to suddenly run dry. She'd been rising agains the King Under The Mountain for at least a good twenty minutes now, and the realization was dawning on her just then. Blinking a few times in bewilderedness, she obediently nodded and found her way back to Beorn's home leaving a just as confused Wizard behind.

Was it her own achievement, or was Thorin never intended to leave her behind? It was nonsense all the same. The idea had came to her lying in bed, thinking about a solution with all her might. She had read about the life saving thing in a book back on Earth, and she wasn't even sure if that would apply on Arda. It was all redundant anyways, having guaranteed her place in the journey, all she needed was a nice, warm milk with honey from Beorn.

Walking among the woods, Fai then saw Kili sitting under a tree in darkness. She was so excited that she didn't even remember how furious she was with him. Poking him on the shoulder, she proudly remarked.

"You don't want to sleep here you know. Within hours, we'll be on our way to some really uncomfortable places again." she said. her throat was already destroyed anyways, a couple more words couldn't make a difference anymore.

The look on Kili's face was really something to see. He clumsily stood up, couldn't even dare to leave her glance. Unsure about what he heard, he scratched his stubble and mumbled.

"We?"

"You'd like to get away with what you did so easily, wouldn't you?" Fai smirked, and crossed her arms over her chest. "I'm coming with you, and I'll make you pay for it."

She winced in pain with the final words leaving her mouth, and Kili worryingly frowned.

"Would you shut up already?" he said with a forced smile tugged at his lips, "Recover first, then I'll let you mock me as much as you want."

Out of instinct, Fai attempted to fix him with a wicked comeback but without even knowing, she was surrounded by his familiar smell that warmed her heart once again. Kili was holding her tightly with his arms wrapped around her waist.

His face buried to her neck, Fai shivered over feeling his nose touching her skin, his chin as well, more importantly- his lips. They stayed still on her on the side of her neck, but she could feel the warmth of his breaths, which were shorter and more frequent than usual. Fai didn't know if he was aware of what he was doing, or how tight and intense their embrace was but she definitely couldn't shake off the suddenness of it. Also, she was betrayed by her heart constantly skipping beats and it was sure this time that no fabric between them could hide the throbbing.

It absolutely wasn't the first time they hugged, yet, it was something else entirely.

Parting after what felt like a million years and a nanosecond in the same time, they both weren't capable of pulling off a proper eye contact. Walking side by side with an awkward safety gap in between, they went into Beorn's home and didn't say a word till it was finally the time to leave.


E/N:

*Gandalf's Dwarven words: Trust is a rare treasure, hand it out scarcely and honor those that give it to you

I decided to keep this one short for obvious reason. The next one's going to be big with Mirkwood and all. Having finished this one at 4:36 AM, I apologize beforehand for any mistakes.

Reviews are much appreciated, hope I didn't get too rusty in my absence.