A/N: I'm back with another chapter already because I didn't want to leave it on the previous note for a long time. That being said, the kids talk some things out in this chapter, but it ends on a lighter note than before. That won't always happen, but it felt like a shame to not do it just this once. Enjoy the chapter. (More notes at the end.)
Ladybug swung into Adrien's window at around two in the morning a few nights later, swearing loudly when she collided with the glass.
Adrien jumped at the noise, hurrying to let her in after pausing his game. "What are you doing here so late? You should be in bed."
"Firstly, you're one to talk because I can see that you're gaming—" she pointed to his computer to prove her point "—and secondly, you told Alya?"
He frowned. "Told Alya what?"
"About what I told you the other night. The, uh, suicide thing." She mumbled the last bit, suddenly afraid of someone overhearing.
"Honey, I had to. There's no way I could keep that to myself when you need help."
"Had it maybe occurred to you that I'll be fine eventually? What about asking me first or even telling me after the fact instead of finding out that she knew when she texted me with the suicide prevention hotline?"
Adrien sighed. "You're right. I should've told you that I'd spoken to her. I apologize for not telling you, but I'm not apologizing for telling her, Marin—Ladybug." He glanced over his shoulder at the door. "Can you de-transform? It'll be easier to explain civilian you than Ladybug you on the off chance someone walks in."
"Yeah. Cover your eyes." The light washed over her as she caught Tikki in her palms. "Please tell me you still have that cookie stash."
"Yes, of course I do. Same place. Help yourself, Tikki."
Tikki smiled at him and nuzzled his cheek before flying off to give them privacy.
"Anyway, as I was saying, I'm not apologizing for telling her. Alya loves you and cares about you, and she wants to be able to help you." Adrien gestured to his bed, offering her the opportunity to get comfortable first.
Marinette sat on the end for a moment before laying on her back and staring at the ceiling, asking her question when Adrien copied her. "Who else knows?"
"Nino knows. The three of us talked about it and decided that that would be best coming from Alya since you're closest to her—minus the Ladybug thing."
"Okay, but what if I don't want help? I'm capable of getting over this on my own, Adrien."
"Exactly how long have you been suicidal?"
She sucked in a breath, trying to do the math and resorting to counting on her fingers. "About five months?" She looked over at him, afraid of his reaction.
Adrien looked back at her, making her feel vulnerable when she met his gaze. "Not just this time."
Marinette's eyes widened. "How did you…?"
"Because I know you, and Alya and I started comparing notes. We do pay attention to you, you know. Like how we noticed that Nino sprained his ankle and wasn't doing anything about it. Oh, or like when you figured out that Alya was getting severely sleep-deprived because she was spending too much time trying to perfect the Ladyblog."
She stared back at the ceiling, taking slow breaths to gather her thoughts. "The first time was probably six years ago or so. I was laying in bed and realized that I could just pull a blanket or pillow over my face and suffocate myself if I really wanted to. Like, I know that's morbid for a young teenager to think about, but that's the first time. The next serious time was two years ago, I think. It was right after my uncle died, and I felt guilty about not talking to him more, especially after he was akumatized." She reached over and grabbed Adrien's hand tightly. "It's...it's been on the back burner ever since, honestly. Just came to the forefront when I started getting more stressed with school and saving the world and shit."
Adrien held onto her fingers. "Would you be less stressed if we had someone else to help us fight Hawkmoth?"
"I mean, maybe. I understand that I still have to do all the cleansing or whatever, but that might help some."
"Okay. Let's talk to Master Fu about it, then. He's seen it all; he'll know what to do about it."
She pretended to observe something on the other side of the room while she murmured, "He probably hasn't seen a suicidal Ladybug."
"Marinette, that's not fair. Maybe he hasn't, but he's definitely been around long enough to have known someone else who was. I'm sure that he would be more than happy to help in whatever way he can."
A sigh. "I guess you're right."
"And if you feel like doing anything stupid, you have three numbers that you can call."
"But Alya only gave me two—oh. Oh, thank you."
Adrien lifted her hand to his lips, kissing it softly.
"Adrien?"
"Yeah?"
"If I think I'm going to do anything, you'll know about it beforehand. Like, it won't be my parents calling you or anything. I'll call you or text you or something, okay?"
"I...don't like hearing that, but okay. Thank you. I'm holding you to that."
"I know you are. That's why I said it."
They looked over at each other, soaking in the uncertainty and understanding before speaking over each other.
"I love you."
"I love you—wait." Marinette started laughing, covering her face with her free arm.
Adrien laughed with her, shaking his head at the two of them. "We're a mess."
"Yeah, we are. Mostly me, though." She felt that familiar weight settle back on her chest as the smile faded from her lips. "I'm sorry I'm such a mess."
He shrugged. "It's what I like about you. You don't have to apologize." Adrien yawned and stretched, smiling when her yawn echoed his. "I have a feeling that you need to get to bed. You're welcome to stay here until five or you can go home now. Whatever you like."
"Hmm, sleep next to the world's cuddliest human heater or spend the next few hours alone in my cold bed. What a difficult decision."
"Your jam-jams are in the same drawer as usual. I call the bathroom first."
"Ugh, fine. Make sure you set an alarm. We don't want a repeat of last time."
The two teased each other as they got ready for bed and ended up next to each other again, falling into a comfortable slumber as soon as they were under the covers.
A/N: Please let me know what you think down below.
If you're struggling with suicidal thoughts, please don't go through with it. Call someone first. There are suicide prevention hotlines in lots of countries, so please look that up if you're dealing with that. Getting help is possible; please don't take the drastic way out.
much love, -wwot
