When I was a kid, most road trips were based around wherever my father was transferred and endless hours in the backseat of my parents' station wagon sandwiched between Melissa and Bill while Charlie got to sit in the front with my parents. I would try to read and Bill constantly took off his shoes just to disgust us with the smell. Once we settled in Maryland, I didn't really travel given I was so focused on my studies. While friends were backpacking in Europe, I was writing my thesis. All I cared about was being a doctor. All I cared about was saving other peoples lives, not about creating one of my own. Aside from some college flings I would come to forget, my life was pretty boring and I thought it always would be. If I had never agreed to come join the FBI, where would life had taken me?
"You've been quiet for over twenty minutes." Mulder shook me out of my memory lane daze.
"Just thinking." I replied sighing and wondering how long the last bottle of water would hold. The record was thirty minutes and we were nearing that.
"Well, can you think out loud? Indiana is pretty damn boring and there's nothing on any of the radio stations I can listen to without my ears bleeding."
We had already been driving for five hours and we had gotten to the point in our relationship where we didn't have to constantly speak. When you've known someone for over twenty-five years you've basically covered all topics. "Why don't you hook up your phone to the Bluetooth."
"That doesn't work anymore. Seriously, what we were you thinking about?"
"Life. My life."
"I may know a bit about the subject."
"Do you ever think about what life would be like if we never met?
He shook his head, "Nope. Every scenario you're there." I sighed and placed my left hand on his thigh, which he then took with his own hand and slightly squeezed, "I guess you can't say the same."
"More like wondering what my life would be life if I hadn't met you, not that it's anything I would have wanted to happen…I just wonder. When you're fifty-four and six months pregnant and timing how long your bladder will withstand, your mind tends to drift off."
"I get that." He sighed, loudly, "So where do you think you would be if you never walked into my office?
"I said I wonder…I never said that my mind actually focuses on any one scenario."
"But you're ok with your life?"
I pushed into his thigh with the hand he was still holding, "Of course I am, but for now I hate to say I'm not going to make the thirty-minute record."
He smiled and nodded, "There's a gas station a mile ahead."
After a good ten hours on the road we stopped in Springfield, Missouri at a Hilton where we didn't have reservations, but were able to get a room for the night anyway. I had forgotten that some people will go out of their way for a pregnant woman in need. The bed was soft and the air conditioner cool and my stomach grumbled for anything full of fat.
"Pizza ordered." Mulder replied before falling backwards onto the king-sized bed next to me. "No meat though."
I nodded and turned my head to look at him, "Three more months. Then I'll enjoy all the kale with you."
Smiling he leaned over and kissed me on the lips. It had been so long I didn't expect it. We had refrained because of what it generally led to and in that two second kiss it felt like fire ants had taken over my body – which seemed to forget there was a child already growing in it. I bit my lower lip, hard, and just stared at him. It was safe….the doctors said it was perfectly natural and I was now at twenty-four weeks so if anything did happen she would be completely viable. But did I really want to risk it just because I was highly…charged?
"Sorry…I hadn't done it in so long...I just…" Mulder replied like a kid who had spilled paint on the new rug.
I had to laugh at his reaction which took me completely out of the insanely turned on situation I had been in, "It's ok." I replied still in mid giggle bracing myself on my arms to get into a sitting position, "We'll survive."
"It's almost funny." He replied sitting up as well, "It you think about it. We had been apart for years, and in one night of sadness, boredom, fear of the future…this happens. Maybe it was for a reason."
"I believe so." I placed my hands on my abdomen hoping for a kick and receiving none. "I guess she's sleeping."
"Good. It's past her bedtime."
We had eight hundred and fifty miles to go. Estimating fourteen hours of driving. Even though the movers wouldn't be there for two days, Mulder was determined to make it in one day. I told him he was stupid, he replied 'I know'. I told him we had two days and he said he wanted to be home. There was that time he drove nearly twenty-four hours straight and I told him he was stupid then as well. But he did it. That was also sixteen years ago.
We left before dawn. He picked up coffee and Red Bull at the 7-11. I decided to lay off so much water and got a box of raisins and some granola to keep me full. By nine am we were on US-400W for the next three hundred miles which was basically the entire length of Kansas.
We brought up old cases. Ones that didn't leave bad tastes in our mouths. Wondering what happened to those we had interacted with in the last twenty-five years. Amy Jacobs, the little girl kidnapped from her room by a serial killer. She'd be in her thirties now. Kevin Kryder, the young boy who was believed to be Christ's child. The last we had heard his father had been released from the mental hospital and regained custody of his son. I kept tabs on him for as long as I could, until they moved to Canada in 2000 and I lost track. There were others we wondered about out loud, and those we didn't need to ever remember. At least now I was at a point where I could look at my career with the FBI and not be completely disgusted with everything. Sure, we were used and manipulated and looked at as a joke, but in the end, we did a lot of good for a lot of people and I was ok with that being my legacy with the bureau. Even if they still called me Mrs. Spooky.
By noon we had gone almost two hundred more miles and needed gas and I needed something more than raisins and granola. The gas station pickings were slim and I didn't trust the tuna fish sandwich they were selling in the not very cool cooler. While perusing the questionable fruit I received a firm kick that made me step back a bit. William never kicked like this. Sadly, I don't recall him moving much until the last month, but this little one wanted me to know she was awake and was done with raisins.
Rushing out to the car without purchasing anything I caught Mulder locking the gas cap and grabbed his left free hand placing it right where she had just made her presence known. His right hand still on the cap he kept his palm firm against my belly as I placed my hands over his…waiting. There was another car waiting for the pump and the young male driver honked the horn, but I didn't care. I needed him to feel this.
"Come on, lady!" The jackass in the KIA screamed out his window.
"We'll leave when we're damn ready to!" I screamed back at him and not a second later she did it causing the cap to fall out of Mulder's hand.
"Wow…" was all he could say as I beamed a smile so big I thought my face would crack in half. He had felt little kicks before, but this girl was sending me a message today. "Surprised she's still in there." He said grabbing the cap and quickly locking it up before walking me to the passenger side.
"I know you want to get going, but I could really use a burger." I basically whined. I had every right to.
Mulder nodded, "There's a Wendy's down the road. After that, she deserves a reward."
With an extra value meal fully devoured we were back on the road to our new home. Both of us clearly sick of being in the car and Mulder not wanting to waste one more minute in a hotel room – forgetting that our furniture wouldn't be there for two days.
But I wasn't going to kill his momentum.
By eight pm we had driven over seven hundred miles and while filling up at Shell in Parker, Colorado I caught Mulder's eyes closing while he was filling up the tank.
"No." I said taking the pump from him and pushing him towards the drivers' side of the car, "We're staying here. There's a Holiday Inn across the interstate and if they have rooms we are staying there for the night. We're only a few hours away…but I'm not risking all of our lives with you behind the wheel anymore."
He didn't object. The pump clicked and I pulled it out and he took the hose from me and retuned it to the pump, "I get it. I just wanted to get home, but tomorrow will do."
"Good. Do you need me to drive?"
"No." he yawned, "I can make it another mile or so."
"I don't know why you're so insistent on getting there now anyway." I said getting into the car and putting on my seatbelt, "Our furniture won't be there for two days."
Mulder got in the driver's side and closed the door, "You know that Wesling bedroom set you saw in that catalog a couple months ago and just couldn't stop staring at." He said buckling his seat belt.
"Yeah…"
He pulled out his phone and after scrolling through some things he handed it to me, "It's waiting for you."
The picture was of the master bedroom of our new home with a beautiful king-sized bed with a grey comforter and more grey, black and white pillows than anyone could ever comfortably need. Next to the bed were two matching nightstands, and on the right side of the bed a large eight drawer dresser with an equally large mirror attached.
"You bought the entire set."
"Even down to the rugs." He smirked, "Happy Belated Birthday or Early Christmas."
I shook my head and sniffed back the tears while handing the phone back to him, "When did you do this?"
"Paid the realtor extra to get it set up the day we left. Given the commission she was happy to do it."
"Now I have to think of an equally impressive gift for your birthday and Christmas."
"You already did." He smiled and looked down and what was protected under a nylon belt.
"I guess so." I smiled back and sighed. "But seriously, Holiday Inn. Now."
"Yes, Ma'am"
July 4th, 2002
I had heard many things about the summers in Texas. That one time in Dallas left quite the impression, but as the temperature neared 115 with humidity at 89% and I lay naked on the questionable bedspread at the Save Harbor Inn digging into a pint of Cherry Garcia I began to wonder if the human body could actually melt.
"What happened to your tattoo?" The equally miserable and equally naked man sitting next to me asked.
Propped up on my forearms and swallowing what I swore, again, would be my last spoonful I turned my head to look at him, "Huh?"
Placing his fingers below my tailbone – a touch that would usually send shockwaves through my body if not for the fact my body felt as if it was already on fire – I quickly remembered what he was referring to, "I got it removed maybe a month after getting it. If that. With everything else I was already going through I didn't want to risk ergot poisoning as well." I said taking the lid to the ice cream and slamming it on the cardboard bowl as a way to tell myself no more. "Surprised this is the first you've noticed it's not there."
"Guess I've been distracted by other parts of your body." He replied placing his Phish Food on the nightstand, "Did you finish it?" he asked as I handed him the half-eaten pint.
"No." I replied sitting up and sitting next to him, my back practically slamming against the cheap motel headboard, "You think it's possible the fill the bathtub with ice from the ice machine?" I asked.
Mulder chuckled and shook his head, "Not worth the chance."
I sighed and shifted closer to him, regardless of the heat, "More reasons we should have gone to Canada." I said placing my head on his left shoulder.
"I'm sure the heat will die down soon. Figuratively and literally. If we stay off the radar long enough we should be able to settle back into society."
"No longer be Mr. and Mrs. Smith?" I replied referring to identities we had been given when we were undercover only a few years earlier and just forgot to give the identification back to the bureau.
"No longer only drive in the dark of night and hide in hot motel rooms that accept cash only and don't have working AC."
"Get a nice house in the middle of nowhere and maybe get a dog and a cat."
"Get nice normal jobs that have nothing to do with alien invasions and government conspiracies."
"Have a couple of kids…" Mulder stopped and I felt him clear his throat. "Scratch that."
I sighed and removed my head from his shoulder, "Why did you say that?"
"Because it's hot and I'm clearly prone to say stupid things."
"It wasn't stupid. You clearly said it for a reason."
Mulder shrugged, "We could always adopt."
"That's not what you meant."
"I forgot ok?" he said looking directly at me, "For a split second I just…forgot…"
"That it's really not in the cards for us."
"But I can't help but think about it given you have now actually given birth."
"But we still don't even know how I got pregnant in the first place."
"Did they not teach you that in catholic school?"
"I'm serious. I still to this day don't understand how I actually conceived a child. Given everything I was told about how I'd never conceive and the with the invitro failing, how such a miracle came to be…" I shook my head, "If it happened again, now, maybe then I'd know why… and how…"
"And if it did, given the circumstances we now find ourselves in…you'd be ok with that."
"Of course, I would. Regardless of when it happened I would consider it a blessing. It would answer so many unanswered questions." He was still just… staring at me, "Would you be ok with that?"
Not even hesitating he nodded, "Of course I would. It might actually get me to believe in a higher power."
I smiled and placed my hand on his warm thigh, "Well, it's not like we have anything else to do."
September 14, 2018
The Holiday Inn provided free breakfast and after three waffles we were back in the car for the final leg of our journey south. As the hours passed and the pit stops shortened, I didn't realize I had fallen asleep until I woke up in front of a red gate.
"We're home." Mulder looked over at me and smiled.
Blinking rapidly as I took in my surroundings I realized instantly why he chose this house based on the listing alone. Trees everywhere and complete silence. I watched him as he grabbed his phone and searched for something before rolling down the window and entering a series of numbers into the keypad before looking ahead and watching the gates open in a welcoming like gesture. Mulder slowly drove the car up the private one lane drive and I kept my eyes straight ahead as we reached the top of the road where a large home greeted us. I audibly gasped at the beauty of the stark wood structure with so many windows I feared one crack would shatter the entire home.
Mulder pulled the car in front of the detached four car garage and turned off the engine before leaning back against the seat of the car and sighing loudly. "If I never drive again it will be too soon."
My eyes were focused on him and the house behind him, "This is really ours…"
He nodded and smiled, "If it isn't I got taken for a few million."
"It's not about the money." I said knowing he would never tell me exactly how much money he had just that we would always be ok.
"Sometimes it is." He replied unsnapping his seatbelt then pulling the keys out of the ignition before opening the driver's side door, "The inside is better."
Even though we had done a few virtual tours before the sale was final, seeing it in person was a lot to take in. There were two front doors and after Mulder unlocked one – the keys thankfully worked – he unclasped the second and pushed them both open in one swift motion.
Before I could step forward he took my left hand and held me back, "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do this." He said before moving his arm around my back, taking hold of the right side of my waist and scooping me up into his arms without even wincing.
Wrapping my arms around his neck I found myself beaming as he carried me into our new home then gently placed me back on my feet.
"In all honesty…" I said adjusting my green sleeveless dress, "You did that at the old house."
"It's different now." He said closing the doors, "It's perfect."
December 24, 2018
I sat on the window seat in the living room of my home and watched the snow fall on the trees. I drank a nice cup of chamomile tea looked down at my extremely large belly and cursed the universe that I was still pregnant.
Melissa Margaret Mulder was already fourteen days late. On December 15th I went to my doctor who informed me this was perfectly normal and due dates are more or less just guesses.
On December 20th I called my doctor who repeated what she had said five days earlier and that when she was ready to come out she would.
On December 22nd Dr. Harper said she was going to California for Christmas but would jump on a plane if I went into labor before she returned on the 26th.
Melissa's room was completed and ready before Thanksgiving.
Assuming I would have a child to introduce to my brother, we had invited Bill and his son Matthew to our home for the holidays. Their flight got in by noon on December 23rd where we then drove the hour to Durango airport and back to our home the entire time wondering if my child would make her arrival. Mulder wouldn't let me out of his sight given the current situation, but by now I was agitated and sick of his mother Henning and sent him off to play video games in the basement with his almost 21-year-old nephew. Matthew would be celebrating that big day in Vegas with his college friends, for now I could hear both of them screaming at the 90-inch tv like little boys as they killed virtual zombies.
"Still nothing?" my older brother said walking into the living room and sitting down at the end of the window seat next to my swollen feet which hardly even fit in my slippers.
I shook my head, "She moves from time to time. But not enough."
"Tara was a week late."
"I remember." I replied taking another sip of tea.
"Maybe it's something with winter babies. They don't want to come out to the cold." He said laughing at his own joke, "But seriously, are you ok?"
I nodded, "I'm fine."
Bill looked around the house, the lack of many walls giving it a very open feel, "Did I tell you how nice this place is?"
"About ten times." I replied in a more sarcastic tone than I intended. Two weeks late. I had a reason to be cranky. "Sorry, I'm just.."
"Pregnant?" He gave an actual smile, "I'm happy for you, Dana. I really am."
"No more preaching?"
"No. Once I saw you I realized this happened to you for a reason. You know that's what mom would say and I have to respect that…and you. Clearly age isn't always a factor."
"My doctor didn't even believe my age." I couldn't help by snicker at the memory, "She said she would guess early forties if I hadn't told her."
"And the baby is fine?"
"Every test possible. We even got one of those very creepy 3D ultrasounds. Decided to wait till her thirteenth birthday to embarrass her with that one."
"Planning that far in advance."
"It's what I do."
I could sense he was going to add to that discussion, but thankfully dropped it and turned his eyes to the large Christmas tree ten feet away next to the two identical white suede couches and covered in lights, ornaments and tinsel including the essentially useless Baby's First Christmas cherub, "You really went all out."
"Mulder did." I replied, "From the moment we moved in he's done everything. The cooking, the cleaning, the decorating while I just sat on my fat ass and watched."
"I hate to bring this up…" he started.
"Then don't." I attempted to stop.
"You're fifty-four."
I rolled my eyes, "Almost fifty-five if you want to get into it."
"Do you have a will? Beneficiaries? A plan for her if something happens to you? Both of you?"
"Of course, we do."
"A guardian?"
No. We didn't. I didn't respond and Bill knew why I didn't.
He shook his head and sighed, "I'm too old to raise a child."
"I'm not asking you to." I replied defensively, "Mulder has a younger half-brother…but why would you make me even think about this now when I'm already frustrated and upset that she's two weeks late?"
"I'm not trying to upset you, I'm just asking that you realize the scope of having a child at your advanced age."
I shook my head and sipped my tea, "Just stop it." I took a deep breath and winced at the latest movement of the child who didn't want to be on time.
"Dad?" thankfully Matthew had come upstairs and distracted his father from his current lecture.
Bill turned to see his adult son standing by the dining room table, "Uncle Fox asked if you wanted to join us for a game of poker. He also said I could have a beer if it's ok with you."
Bill nodded, "Sure." He said standing up from the bench, but not before turning and looking down at me, "Just think about what I said."
I nodded
It was currently all I could think about.
Christmas Eve dinner consisted of spinach lasagna, a green salad and eclairs for dinner. Mulder was trying out new recipes and I was down for anything with chocolate, which went very well with yet another cup of chamomile tea as the three men bonded over craft beer. I retired early and let everyone know I would see them in the morning, but I awoke only a few hours later after some more shifting in my uterus and my eventual death on my mind. I got out of the nice warm bed, and the man heavily breathing next to me, and wandered to the nursery – which had been ready for over a month. The walls a soft eggshell white, with a boarder of teddy bears in various dancing attire. The dresser full of clothes for a newborn girl, changing table fully stocked with diapers and wipes I feared had already dried up. Between the two windows a bookcase lined with dolls that once belonged to my mother and my sister. In the center of a room a canopy soft pink crib, with matching liner and blankets and in the crib sat the teddy bear I came home from the hospital with. Little items I didn't know my mother held onto until after her passing had been taken out of their boxes to be loved by another generation. Taking hold of the edge of the crib I just looked down at the bear and realized how lonely he looked.
"Everything ok?" a tired, yet a bit slurring, voice said behind me.
I nodded and felt him approach me, then stand next to me next to the empty crib. "You think if I wish hard enough she'll just be in there? Sleeping soundly?"
"She will be when she's ready." Mulder replied placing his hand on the small of my back.
"You sound like my doctor." I sighed, then instantly remembered my earlier big brother lecture, "When did you last update your will?"
Mulder's eyebrows raised and after a yawn he shook his head, "When you were still pregnant with William."
"That's what I was afraid of."
"You still get everything." He said sounding very insulted.
"That's not what I'm concerned with." I said placing my right hand on the giant basketball under my grey nightgown, "What about her?"
"Are you planning to knock me off before she gets here?"
I was not in the mood for his definition of humor tonight, "What if something happens to us? BOTH of us? Our parents are gone, Bill is sixty and not interested in being the guardian for a child. There's Jeffrey, but he's too fragile to deal with being a parent."
"Why are you bringing this up!"
"Because it's important! I don't want to leave her abandoned if something happens to us."
"I thought you were immortal?"
He was very close to getting slapped, "You know I don't honestly believe that."
He shrugged, "Even if we were thirty years younger, that doesn't guarantee anything. Even though I learned tonight, painfully, that two beers are very much my limit, I'm in great shape. As are you. I don't know what that means for longevity, but I don't plan on checking out any time soon and I'm pretty sure we're on the same page."
"But we need a plan for her."
"And we will make one." He said placing his hands on my very swollen belly, "She just has to get here first."
I forced a smile and nodded. "As long as we are on the same page."
He smiled as well and leaned over to softly kiss me on the lips, letting me know that he didn't brush his teeth enough earlier, "Nice Scope and hops taste there." I said licking my lips and instantly regretting it.
"Sorry." He replied, "I'll take another go at it."
"Please."
I followed him into the master bathroom, which was twice the size of our last one complete with jacuzzi tub that could fit two people, which the old owners had put in before putting the house on the market to make the place more appealing. There were three other bathrooms, but this was mine. Feeling like I had to relieve myself, I sat down on the toilet as Mulder stood before the vanity and put toothpaste on his sonic care toothbrush. He looked up in the mirror just as he positioned the electric toothbrush in front of his teeth and saw me looking at him from his right.
"Do you need to be alone?" he asked my reflection.
"No." I replied feeling the pressure, but being unable to go, "Just ignore me."
Nodding, he turned the toothbrush on and began to brush his teeth when the pressure turned a bit painful then a rush of liquid pushed out of me and after the relief I realized what exactly had happened.
"Mulder…"I was able to get out before the first stabbing pain hit, but I wasn't loud enough and felt paralyzed in place. After that pain had passed I said his name again, my hands moving to my abdomen like metal being drawn to a magnet. I couldn't move as another contraction came over me I cried out in pain as I kept my eyes focused on the back of my husband's head.
The cry caused him to turn, and apparently my pain was visibly obvious because his eyes grew large and he dropped the toothbrush out of his hand to come rush to me.
"What is it?" he asked stupidly as I dug my nails into the cotton fabric until they hit the skin of my expanded stomach.
His eyes grew larger and he kneeled down eye to eye with me as I forced them to stay open, "Now?
I nodded and held my breath, then let it out, "Call my doctor." I got out before another one hit and all I wanted to do was pass out.
Almost tripping over the still spinning toothbrush, which was now what I focused on as it felt like my body was getting ripped in half, Mulder ran out of the room and was back with my phone in his hands, "Harper, right?" He asked.
All I could do was nod and dig my nails in deeper.
"It's after one…"
"JUST CALL HER!" I screamed as another wave of pain shot through my body.
After far too many rings, a groggy voice picked up, "Hello?"
"Doctor Harper, this is Fox Mulder, I believe my wife is in labor…"
"Mulder…" her voice drifted off for a second, too many seconds, and I started to feel more than just the shockwaves of pain.
"SHE'S COMING NOW!" I cried out as the tears fell down my face. I was not giving birth on a toilet, but I was also not in a condition to move either. I didn't know what to do and my dear husband was apparently useless.
"Dana!" the voice on the phone called out, "Where are you?"
"In the bathroom." Mulder replied, "On the toilet."
"Don't tell her that!" I screamed.
"It's ok, Dana." Her voice was calm which was what I needed, "I can get on a plane and back there in a couple of hours. How far apart are the contractions?"
I shook my head.
"She's shaking her head."
"Time them."
"I can't." I pleaded.
"Fox, you need to let me know how far apart the contractions are. I'm running out the door now, but I need to now how far along she is."
I looked at him and shook my head again, the tears soaking my nightgown.
"Doctor Harper…" he said very calmly, "I don't think we have a couple of hours."
I closed my eyes and gripped my belly, she was ready….I knew the second I was moved she'd be out.
"Shit." She replied through the speakerphone, "You said you're in the bathroom?"
"Yes." Mulder stayed calm. Calmer than I expected.
"Is there a bathtub?"
"Yes."
"Could it comfortably fit two people?"
"Yes." He started to sound robotic, but he had this, and I kept my legs closed as the pain raced through my body compelling me to open them.
"Fox, you understand why I'm asking this."
"I'm afraid so." He said biting his lip and looking at the tub and nodding at me as he stood up gripping the phone.
"Fill the tub halfway with luke warm water. We don't want it to be too hot, but we don't want it to be too cold as to cause her a shock. Do you have plenty of towels?"
"Yes."
"Good. My husband called an ambulance and gave them your address but given what you've told me this little one doesn't want to wait…she knows how late she already is."
I appreciated the attempt at humor, but I also wished I was in a hospital with a nice epidermal.
Mulder placed my phone on the shelf above me and grabbed a handful of my new towels. I winced as he placed them on the tile next to the bed as he leaned over and started the water while sitting on the edge of the tub.
"My husband is a pilot and we are on our way to our plane now."
Mulder rolled his eyes at me and I attempted to do the same, but even the distraction wasn't distracting enough right now.
"This wasn't what you had planned was it?" he said softly looking at me.
I let out a cry/laugh as the pain seemed to have stopped for the time being, "No."
"Is the tub ready?" the voice on the phone called out.
Mulder turned his attention back to the tub and turned off the faucet. "Yes."
He stood up and took the phone from the shelf and placed it on the floor next to the towels.
"I need you to get Dana into the tub."
"Can you move?" he asked me.
I shook my head, "No."
Nodding he leaned over and put one arm around my back and another behind my calves and in one swift motion lifted me up off the toilet and into his arms as my hands stayed gripped to my child…or where she once was.
Without saying anything he walked over to the tub and stepped in, still fully dressed he gently placed me in the warm water, my legs still refusing to part.
"We're in." he said placing his hands on my knees and looking straight at me looking calmer than I had ever seen him before.
"Good. Now I need you to see how far along she is. You may have to reach in and feel the cervix to see how dilated she is."
I closed my eyes and let the tears fall. I had known this man for over twenty-five years, he had seen me at my best and my worst, but this was the most embarrassing situation I had ever found myself in and all I could do was cry. The pain was nothing compared to this.
"Honey, you're going to have to unlock your legs."
He never honeyed me, well, rarely, but I didn't want this. "Can't I just keep her in until the ambulance comes?" I cried out.
"No Dana." The voice on the phone yelled back. "You're a doctor. You said yourself when she's ready to come she will. Well, she's ready. You've done this before."
But not with the father of my child seeing where that child comes out of, "But not like this"
"This isn't a time to be bashful, Dana, he's the only person who can do this now."
"You need to let me do this." Mulder pleaded with his hands on my knees, "Please."
Biting my lower lip, I nodded and closed my eyes, relaxing my muscles and letting him "unlock" my legs.
The pain returned along with the pressure and I winced as the room grew silent.
"Fox?" Dr. Harper called out, "What's going on?"
"Um…" he stammered and my eyes bolted open to see him just staring down at me, "I see a head."
"Well, no need to check how far along she is. Looks like this is happening. Dana, you know what to do here."
I nodded and found myself in a strange kind of trance. I removed my hands from my stomach and placed them and gripped both sides of the tub, my eyes locked with Mulder's and he nodded. I then closed my eyes and pushed, hard, I opened my eyes back up to see Mulder's face like a deer in headlights.
"Mulder…." I said in a very calm manner, "You can do this."
He nodded and moved closer between my legs, "She's coming."
Keeping my eyes locked oh his face I pushed again, pain shot through my back and legs, but I didn't cry, I was focused.
"Again." He said as I watched his arms move further under my legs as he seemed to take hold of something.
I pushed again, harder.
"Wait!" he said.
"What!?" I cried back.
He looked confused, and I didn't feel anything anymore. No pain. No pressure. "Mulder!" I screamed as I watched his eyes blink rapidly as he looked down at something and tears began to fall down his cheeks.
"Say something!" I screamed as my own tears started.
And not a second later the cries of a newborn took over the room. Mulder looked up at me while raising himself on his knees and in his arms was a wet, red and crying baby girl.
"Everyone ok in there?" Dr. Harper jumped in as Mulder handed her to me.
"Yes." Mulder said, "But what about the cord?"
"The ambulance is a mile away. Don't do anything else. We'll take care of that at the hospital, just use the towels to keep her warm."
Her little red hands were balled up in fists as the cries continued. Mulder placed a thick towel over her and my arms as we stayed in the tub in utter amazement about what just happened.
"Dana?" I heard my brother's voice from outside the bathroom, completely forgetting we actually had guests.
"Come in." I said laughing a little as my older brother slowly peered his head behind the bathroom door to look at me, "Are you decent?"
"Yes!" I laughed, "Come in already."
He passed the door and looked down at all of us in the tub, "You all can't do anything normal can you?"
"Nope." Mulder replied, "Can you do us a favor and watch the front gate. The ambulance is almost here. It's just a monitor in the kitchen, all you have to do is press a button when they get here."
Bill nodded and turned then turned back, "Oh, Merry Christmas." He smiled then walked out of the room.
My eyes widened when the date realization hit, "Oh my God."
Mulder shook his head, "You're really coming up with new ways to make me believe."
"That was all her I swear." I replied looking at my newborn child as she finally stopped crying and seemed to have settled into a nice nap on my chest."
"Yeah…well.." Mulder brushed the soft bit of reddish brown hair on the top of her head, "as long as God himself doesn't show up claiming to be her father, I'm good."
"Shut up, Mulder."
The ambulance arrived a few minutes later. Two very nice paramedics picked me up out of the tub and placed me on a stretcher carrying me and my child out to the awaiting ambulance where the contractions started again and I completed the delivery. Mulder sat in a seat next to me as the paramedics took care of cutting the umbilical cord and disposing of the afterbirth before placing Melissa in a warming blanket and handing her back to me.
"We should be at the hospital in a bit." The paramedic, Jake, said looking at us, "Sorry we didn't get there earlier, but with the snow and all."
"It's fine." I replied watching my baby sleep, "Very fine."
"Guess you could say I got to cross something off a bucket list." Mulder smirked.
"Hey, a lot of guys faint at the sight of birth so you should be proud of yourself. Dad." Jake said patting Mulder on the back, "But you probably want to get some scrubs at the hospital to prevent catching pneumonia."
Mulder looked down at his wet pants and chuckled, "I had totally forgotten."
By the time we got checked into a room, a nice single room, where I could change into a gown and Mulder changed into some dark green scrubs, it was nearly five am and Dr. Harper had texted that they were stranded in Utah due to the snow which was picking up. A doctor came into check that I was ok while Mulder waited at the nursey as Melissa was checked on. Bill and Matthew stayed at the house and I let them know where they could find breakfast as the waffle breakfast Mulder had planned was now on hold.
The nurse handed me a cup of water and a couple of pills, "Just some Tylenol." She said, "The pain will return."
I nodded and took the pills, "I'm well aware." I replied.
"How many other children do you have?" she asked.
"One." I replied after swallowing and handing her back the cup, "He's seventeen."
"Quite an age gap." She replied, "You get your rest. Your husband said he won't leave the nursey without his daughter."
"He's a bit over protective."
"I wish more fathers were." She smiled, opened the door and turned off the light, "Merry Christmas."
"Merry Christmas."
I hadn't had a sound sleep in weeks, but once my little girl made her entrance my mind let me fully relax to the point of sleeping for five hours straight in an uncomfortable hospital bed. When I awakened I felt as if a weight had been lifted off of me. Literally and figuratively. My eyes focused on the window as the snow continued to fall and the tall man standing in front of it rocking side to side with something in his arms.
"Is she ok?" I asked him still fearful.
"Seven pounds six ounces, twenty-two inches." He said turning around to look at me as he held our child in his arms wrapped in a white blanket with a little pink hat on her head, "Perfectly healthy."
I smiled as tears of relief fell from my eyes, "since everything is ok we can only be here twenty-four hours, but since we arrived in the middle of the night and it is Christmas, I'd really like to be home." He continued as he sat down in the hard chair next to the hospital bed, "How do you feel?"
"Like I had a seven-pound six ounce twenty-two-inch child ripped out of me." I smiled, "I feel great."
"They gave her a bottle a couple of hours ago so you could sleep, but if you're able…"I sensed his uncomfortableness at where the conversation was going as he focused his eyes on her sleeping face.
"Doesn't hurt to try." I replied pushing myself up into a sitting position as he handed her over to me, she squirmed a bit and her still a bit red face crinkled as her eyes opened slowly looking up at me. I bit my lower lip as the tears started to fall again, "If this is a dream please do not wake me," I said sniffing at just how beautiful she was. William was beautiful, all babies are beautiful, but there was something about this little angel that I couldn't put my finger on.
Mulder stood up and kissed me on the top of my head, "I've already pinched myself a few times."
My phone chimed us back into reality and Mulder picked it up off the night table, "Dr. Harper just landed. She should be here in about an hour depending on the roads."
As much as I should have my doctor actually meet my child, I just wanted to go home. I asked him to text her back that we wanted to go home but would wait for her to which she replied she would come baring gifts as a reason to stay. I had to chuckle at how sweet the thirty-year old doctor was.
By noon, my newborn had successfully latched and my breasts started to fill like water balloons. For some women it can be instant, for others days, but for me all it took was my child letting me know she ready to start the floodgates. Dr. Harper arrived shortly after and did not exaggerate with the gifts. A light brown teddy bear almost as big as me, a bag of cloth diapers was handed to my husband with a wink along with a large gift bag which had the word Daddy in script on the side. I watched Mulder's eyes get damp just looking at the bag as she handed another to me with Mommy in the same script.
"I've had all of this at my house for weeks!" she said coming over to the bed and looking at the little one in my arms, "But such a miracle couldn't have picked a more perfect day."
I nodded and looked to my husband who had already placed the bag on the chair and wiped his eyes, "She knows what she's doing."
Being the doctor that she is, Jessica picked up my chart and flipped through it, "Any pain?"
"Just the usual…" I replied.
"Has your breast milk come in yet?" she continued.
"About twenty minutes ago." I replied.
She nodded, "Looks like Dr. Collins checked you out when you arrived and even though it's a holiday her birth certificate has already been filed with the state." She continued to flip through everything and sign off on others, "Since you didn't have an epidural I'd say if you're up for it I say you're free to go, granted you come to my office in the next couple of days; both of you."
"I know the drill." I replied, "We already have the car seat set up and my brother can drive down and get us."
"Good." She replied, "I'll go take care of starting the discharge paperwork."
After she left Mulder looked down at me, "Maybe we should stay, just in case something happens."
"I'm fine. And I'm hungry and the last thing I want is hospital food. I've had enough of it for a lifetime."
Mulder nodded, "I understand." He said sticking his hands in the pockets of the scrubs, "And I guess I should see if my pants are dry yet."
"But please text my brother and let him know where my spare keys are and ask him to come get us."
By dusk I was back at home, my newborn daughter asleep in her crib and I watched my husband, brother and nephew open gifts under the tree. We waited until we got home to open the gift bags from Dr. Harper. Mine had a box of Lindor Truffles, a bottle of Merlot and yoga pants which claimed to be the most comfortable pants ever. Mulder's bag had a bottle of Scotch and a vegan baby cookbook which reminded me of my promise to share my husband's dietary ways after Melissa was born. Maybe I could push it off till new year's. In true Mulder form he was much more excited about the Play Station 4 then he was about the new pleather jacket I had purchased for him, and Matthew was already running downstairs with the game system to take the place of the Xbox One. I myself was very excited to try the new bath salts for when I could actually enjoy a bath again along with the magenta terry cloth robe and matching satin pajama set. In the end the only gift I really cared about was sleeping soundly as I watched her on the baby monitor app on my phone.
All in all I could finally relax and ease into just a normal family life. Sure, I would be celebrating my fifty-fifth birthday before my daughter turned two months old, but you never know where life is going to take you; all you can do is sit back and enjoy the ride.
"Dana.." Bill called out from the kitchen as he was opening the bottle of sparkling cider.
"Bill…"I replied.
"Are you expecting any guests?"
"No." I replied, "Why?"
"You should probably come here."
Taking the nice fleece blanket off my lap I walked into the kitchen where I could hear the buzzer of the intercom at the front gate. We had only been here a few months, hadn't even tried to make friends aside from my doctor and people we ignored at Lamaze. Who could be visiting on today of all days?
Bill handed me a glass of cider and the image on the screen caused the glass to quickly fall from my hand. With trembling fingers, I instinctively pressed the answer button on the screen which then also turned on the camera looking right at me. The face on the other end smiled and only said two words.
"Hi, mom."
